The In Your Apartment theme "This Old Apartment" by the Bare Naked Ladies plays
*The camera pans into the arena located in Parts Unkown City. It goes down to ringside at the announce booth where we are joined by WWCF announcers D-Day Dave and Madman Szalinski
D-Day Dave- Welcome everyone to IN YOUR APARTMENT. We have a packed card for you tonight. First off we have a singles match for the Forum Championship between two former tag team partners Above Average and Legion.
Madman Szalinski- It's usually the most fun when you're kicking the snot out of your former friend.
D-Day Dave- Later on we have a big grudge match between Evil Masked wordlifeecw and TromboneMan. A deep and heated grudge has developed between wordlifeecw and the Sam08 Family going back weeks.
Madman Szalinski- I don't see one man taking down a family, but then again I am going blind...
D-Day Dave- We also have a huge WWCF Tag Team Championship 4 corners match involving the tag champs Stryker Duck Silence MiLo Duck and Stryker facing Above Average and Motor-Colt facing The Southwest Connection and Sam08 Family members littlenaitch and Tyfo facing J is Justice and Providence aka Cthulhu of the Neighborhood Watch Committee.
Madman Szalinski- Four corners, three losers, two belts, and one lucky tag team. It's a pyramid of verbal destruction!
D-Day Dave- And then we have the big one. MiLo Duck will be defending his World Championship for the first time against Uncle Seth Drakin in a good old fashion Good House Keeping Match. Now at our first Pay Per View Gookermania1 Seth Drakin wrestled in the same type of match and came out victorious against General of the Monkey Army. Do you think that will give him an edge in this match Madman?
Madman Szalinksi- I hope so. Experience in a certain match type can make all the difference. It's like asking if the guy who went to college for working on automobiles has an edge over Ed the butt scratching mechanic.
D-Day Dave- Okay and with that lets take it down to the ring where we have are first match for the Forum Championship between the champ Above Average and Legion.
__________
Opening Singles Match for the Forum/InterForum Championship Match
Legion
VS
Above Average(Champion)
*Above Average and Legion stare each other down at the start. Legion shoves Above Average, who retaliates with a shove of his own.*
Dave- They seem to be feeling each other out right now. Being a former tag team they are both very familiar with each other so I’m sure they are wondering if the other is going to throw in something new to throw them off.
Madman Szalinski- Or just throw something.
*Legion goes to slap Above Average, who blocks it and punches Legion right in the mouth.
Legion charges Above Average, who ducks it and hits a back body drop.
Above Average picks Legion up by the hair and takes him over to the corner where he delivers some big chops. Above Average follows up the chops with a big right fist but Legion blocks it and punches Above Average with his own right fist. Legion whips Above Average into the ropes. Above Average comes off the ropes, ducks under Legion's clothesline and bounces back with a devastating flying forearm. Above Average looks at the crowd and yells out "OLE!"*
Madman: Above Average is living up to his name. Champions can't be average, so he has expectations to fulfill. And Legion tastes the LARIAT-O!!!
Dave: You are the most cracked out individual I've ever had the pleasure of working with. And I've done high school assemblies for D.A.R.E. with Bobby Brown.
Madman: LARIAT-OOO!!!!!!!
Dave: We get it. He knocked his block off.
*Legion comes up from behind Above Average and shoves Above Average into the corner and then flexes.
Above Average comes running out of the corner with a big knee to Legion’s head.
Above Average goes for the pin!!!*
1
2
3!!!!!!!!!!
Dave- NO Legion kicks out right at the last second!!!!!!!!
Madman- Lariat-o?
*Above Average pulls Legion up but Legion does a chop right into the throat of Above Average making him back up to the ropes. Legion irish whips him into the other rope and as Above
Average comes back Legion kills Above Average with a straight kick ala Shelton Benjamin.
Legion locks an ankle lock onto Above Average.*
Dave- The ref is asking Above Average if he wants to quit but it doesn’t look like he is giving up anytime soon.
Madman- If he's ready to sacrifice his ankle bones for a little bit of pride, then I say let him.
*Above Average reaches the ropes and the ref counts for Legion to break the hold
Legion picks Above Average up and delivers the Shock Treatment!! Legion picks Above Average back up again and irish whips him into the ropes and as Above Average comes running back Legion hits a huge Black Hole Slam!!!!*
Dave- Wow that was amazing. I don’t see how Above Average is ever going to kick out of that.
*Legion goes for the cover*
1
2
NOOOO!!!!!! Above Average gets his foot on the rope.
*Legion picks up Above Average and goes for a DDT but Above Average grabs onto the rope and blocks it delivering a suplex on Legion. Legion gets up and Above Average hits a spin kick knocking Legion back into the corner. Above Average comes charging at Legion and Legion gets out of the way just in time. Legion socks Above Average with some rights and then throws him outside of the ring.*
Dave- Legion now taking this match to the outside of the ring. That can be some dangerous territory.
Madman- Between tables, railings, and midgets lying in wait under the apron...
*Legion comes out after Above Average who is up now. Legion waits and stalks Above Average waiting for him to get up. Once Above Average makes it to his wobbling feet Legion charges at Above Average trying to spear him into the steel steps of the ring but Above Average does a fast drop toe hold and sends Legion face first into the steel steps. Above Average throws Legion back into the ring. Above Average goes up to the top rope and waits for Legion to get up. *
Dave- Above Average going high risk here. Lets see if it pays off.
*Legion makes it to his feet and Above Average hits a huge double axe handle. Above Average sets Legion back up on his feet and hits THE GIMMICK BUSTER!!!!!!!!!!!
1
2
3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dave- And Above Average shows why he is the InterForum Champion and holds onto the belt!
Madman- Well, that was more fun than I expected...
Ring Announcer- And here is your winner and still InterForum Champion…………..ABOVE AVERAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Above Average is celebrating in the middle of the ring when all of a sudden Legion comes up from behind him and hits Above Average with a big steel chair shot. Legion spits on Above Average and drops the steel chair on him. The Story stable members Motor-Colt and Evil Masked wordlifeecw come running into the ring chasing off Legion who escapes through the crowd.*
_____________
A PPV Monday NiteRaw commercial runs.
Dave- I’m getting word from backstage that the 24/1 Hardcore championship is being fought over as we speak. Lets get some cameras back there to see what is going on.
Madman- Ouch!
* Cthulu hits Littlenaitch with a brick and gets the 123.
Legion comes up from behind Cthulhu and delivers a Chokeslam for the 123.
J is Justice seeing his partner getting beat from down the hall jumps in and hits a Mighty Dick Punch Of Justice ala John S. Amigo and gets the 123.
J is Justice and Cthulhu run away with the Hardcore Belt.*
Dave- Man they are they going crazy over that Hardcore Championship or what?
Madman- Yeah I just might go back there myself.
Dave- Hey I need you here.
Madman- Hmmm...yeah, you're right. I'm retired, for God's sake.
Dave- Well next up we have Ravishing Rob Rude taking on RX-78-2
____________
Singles Match
Ravishing Rob Rude
VS
RX-78-2
*Rob Rude and RX hook up and Rude over powers RX into a corner. He starts whaling on RX with a combination of punches. Rude irish whips RX to the other corner and Rude comes running after RX but RX comes out of the corner with a big clothesline onto Rude.*
Madman: What kind of name is RX-78-2? It's like he's a robot or something. See? He's actually doing the Robot!
Dave: Yes, yes he is...
Madman: And Rob Rude just reached up and hit the shutdown button. I guess this robot's shutdown switch is located behind his left eye, where Rude just punched him.
*Rude grabs RX and gives him a headlock takedown. Rude still applying the headlock drags RX up and rams his head right into the turnbuckle.*
Dave- Wow he just used his head as a battery ram! Either Rude really doesn’t like that turnbuckle or he really wants to win this match.
Madman- Or he could be actually pulling on the wires connecting RX's central computing unit to his body.
*Rude steps over the fallen RX and starts swaying his hips with his hands on his head.*
Dave- What is he doing? That isn’t going to win him the match.
*Rude waits for RX to get to his feet and Rude hits the Rude Awakening!!!*
Madman - That might!
1
2
3!!!!!!!!!!!
Ring Announcer- And your winner………….RAVISHING ROB RUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!
_____________
Singles Match
grbjazzman
VS
Koda89
*Koda and grbjazzman hook up and grbjazzman gets Koda in a headlock. Koda pushes off grbjazzman into the ropes and Koda hits an Oklahoma Stampede on grbjazzman*
Dave- Devastating move by Koda!
*Koda picks up grbjazzman and Koda backs up into the rope running off of it into a grbjazzman with a headbutt. This knocks grbjazzman out of the ring. Koda tries to go out after him but the ref stops him and Koda and the ref start arguing in the middle of the ring. Once Koda moves the ref he goes for grbjazzman but grbjazzman is already off the floor and on the top rope and hits a huge jumping top rope clothesline on Koda!!!*
Dave- Very nice move by grbjazzman don’t you think Madman? Madman...?
Madman- Huh? Oh yeah. Great.
Dave- What the hell?
Madman- I'm not slurring my words, am I?
*grbjazzman hits Koda with a Jazz Stinger.
grbjazzman picks Koda back up and hits Koda with a bodyslam*
Dave- grbjazzman is on a roll now.
Madman- RickRoll?
Dave- No, a...just watch the match, dude.
*grbjazzman goes up to the top rope and goes for a leg drop but Koda gets out of the way right at the last minute. Koda picks up grbjazzman but grbjazzman hits a left jab right into Koda’s face. Koda gets mad and shoves grbjazzman into the ropes……
Madman- Koda slides between his legs with the baseball slide...and kicks 'em in the ass! Nice!
*Koda hits a big bulldog from behind grbjazzman. Koda picks up grbjazzman and uses a springboard tornado ddt to take grbjazzman down.
Following that, Koda then hits the Otaku Buster on his opponent.*
1
2
3!!!!!!!!!!
Ring Announcer- And your winner………….KODA89
__________________
*J is Justice is walking around backstage and enters a bathroom. Unbeknowest to him Above Average is waiting inside and Above Average hits J is Justice with the 3.0 and captures the title.
Littlenaitch was inside a stall the whole time and comes out and hits Above Average with a crowbar from behind to capture the title.
MiLo Duck busts out of another stall and hits littlenaitch with a frying pan to get the title.
Dave- And those hardcore maniacs are still going at it backstage. Remember whoever has the title at 9:00 tonight will become the new Hardcore Champion.
______________
Dave- Next up we have a triple threat match between Disco Stu, Metalyrca, and General of the Monkey Army.
Madman: Atten-hut! Listen up, you primate bastards!
Dave: Huh?
Madman: I'm just trying to be the General's lieutenant. OOH!
Dave: I'm proud of you for not making the obvious private joke.
_______________
*camera pans into Metylerca, in the basement of the Arena. It is dark and you can only see him through the fire from the two lighters he holds in his hands to illuminate the room*
Metylerca: Tonight is my first ever PPV and It's time to make a statement. If I fail tonight, my career will be Trapped Under Ice. I will go out there and show my two opponents why I am the Phantom Lord. Disco Stu, Mister General Man...... you will both see why I am Holier than Thou, why when you wrestle me, you enter the Frayed Ends of Sanity.... and most importantly......why Metylerca will make you Ride The Lightning.
SEEK......... AND..... DESTROYYY!!!!!!
___________________
Triple Threat Match
Disco Stu
VS
General of the Monkey Army
VS
Metylerca
Results
*General and Disco Stu battle it out to start, while Metylerca sits idly by. Seeing this, Disco Stu lariats Metylerca to the outside, where he lands funny on his right leg. General hits a german suplex on Stu. General hits a backbreaker for anothe. On the outside Metylerca is stirring, but not injured. General goes for a super brain buster off the top, but it gets reversed into a Top Rope Disco Kick by Stu!. Metylerca slides into the ring and nails Disco Stu with the Whiplash. Angry, Metylerca hits Stu with right side kick to the face.
General of the Monkey Army bites Metalyrca with a devastating monkey bite from behind.*
Dave- Wow and the General comes out with a very scientific wrestling move.
Madman- Yes, Dave, the monkey bite to the gluteus was first used in some parts of lower Mesopotamia in the 2000 BC era, by Jewish captives against their Babylonian captors.
Metylerca because of the bite hits the General with a spear. Metylerca hits Disco Stu who just stood up with a flying body press. Bingo the General’s Monkey jumps into the ring, drawing the referee's attention.
Dave- Oh my gosh!!!! There is a monkey in the ring!!!!!
Madman- Oooh oooh aah aah! Monkeys are much cuter in person.
*The General capitalizes on the distraction by hitting Metylerca with a loaded banana.
The General then hits a monkey flip on a charging Disco Stu. Metalyrca recovers from the banana shot and slaps Bingo the Monkey and throws him out of the ring.*
Dave- Ahhh he just slapped the General’s monkey.
Madman- Spanked him?
*As Metalyrca and the General are trading punches and while the ref is out checking on Bingo the Monkey Disco Stu hits both men with a bottle of Ouzo as it's Ouzo-for-twozo time.
Disco Stu hits General with a swinging neckbreaker.
Disco Stu drops Metylerca with a single leg takedown into an ankle lock.
The General is laying unconscious but Bingo jumps in and shakes him up to wake him and the General gets up and comes up from behind Disco Stu and hits a devastating clothesline kocking Stu right out of the ring. The General sees Metalyrca laying there and applies THE MONKEY WRENCH. Metalyrca fights and fights to get to the ropes but realizes he must submit before he is injured.*
Ring Announcer- And here is your winner…………….GENERAL OF THE MONKEY ARMY!!!!!!!!!!!
*The General celebrates with Bingo the Monkey inside the ring.*
We go to another NiteRaw commercial
________________
*grbjazzman hits MiLo Duck with the frying pan that MiLo Duck had earlier to win the Hardcore Championship in the catering area.
Grbjazzman runs away out the back to escape with the Hardcore Title.
Cthulhu comes running out from the darkness of the night and pulls out an old buddy…….his big metal CHAIN and swings it at grbjazzman wrapping it around grabjazzman’s head. He reels in grbjazzman and hits a huge DDT and gets the pin RIGHT BEFORE 9:00.
*we can now hear the announcer announcing the new Hardcore Champion as Cthulhu celebrates.*
Ring Announcer- And here is your NEWWWWWWWW Hardcore Champion………….CTHULHU AKA PROVIDENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
________________
*The camera goes to a dark room in the locker room area where the red and black dressed “Evil La Parka” is getting dressed.*
“Evil La Parka”- Tonight I will be taking on One Doley Nation. Now Doley I don’t know much about you but I know I can beat you. You see the identity of myself is such a deadly secret that no one in the WWCF will ever see it coming just like you won’t be seeing this defeat coming. Now most of you keep bothering me and asking me when I will be revealing who I am but all I can say is……….it will be in good time…….and it will shock the world!!
*The camera goes back to the arena where they are setting up for the next match*
_____________
Singles Match
One Doley Nation
VS
"Evil La Parka"
Results
“La Parka” ties up with ODN and ODN overpowers La Parka into the corner. “Parka” shoves ODN back but ODN runs back into the corner and smashes “Parka”.
Dave- Man that La Parka guy will be feeling that one tomorrow morning.
*Doley Warrior power slams “Evil La Parka” and then bounces off the rope and delivers a body splash. ODN goes for the pin.*
1
2
NOOO!!!!!!!!
*Evil La Parka kicks out. ODN picks La Parka up and sets him against the ropes. ODN bounces off the ropes on the other side and comes running at La Parka but La Parka gives him a back drop over the rope.*
Dave- Uh oh I think we are going be seeing some Lucha action now!
Madman- Arriba la raza!
* Evil La Parka then launches himself over the ropes and hits a twisting corkscrew plancha onto Doley. Parka throws ODN back into the ring. La Parka works the arm with the armbar on ODN. ODN counters into an armbar of his own, and they roll out for the stalemate. ODN goes for a suplex, but it gets countered into another armbar from La Parka. ODN escapes and runs against the ropes, only to be caught with a shin kick to the face! La Parka goes upstairs for what looks to be a flying cross body, but ODN catches him with a chest breaker!*
Dave- Oh man what a huge counter by One Doley Nation .
Madman- No more lucha! Go America!
*Doley picks up “Parka” for the DOLINATOR but “Parka” shakes out of it and pushes ODN right into the ref knocking the ref down. “Parka” follows that up with a spinning back kick knocking Doley down. “Parka runs outside to get his patented steel chair. He gets back into the ring and waits for ODN to get up. ODN gets up and “Parka” swings the chair at him but ODN ducks at the last second and kicks “Parka” right in his mandhood. Doley picks up “Parka” and sets him on the top turnbuckle.*
Madman: ODN is on fire tonight, he just put the malevolent skeletal costumed one on the top turnbuckles...and it's the dreaded ten count nutsack punch!
Dave: 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...I'm not watching anymore. My balls are starting to hurt!
Madman: 8...9...10! And I think we can afford to take a break, he's not gonna just break loose with anything for a few minutes.
*ODN picks “Parka” up from the turnbuckle and hits the DOLINATOR right onto the steel chair and goes for the cover right as the referee is coming to.*
1
2
3!!!!
*ODN stands over the fallen “Evil La Parka” and sits him up and starts to unstrap the mask of “Evil La Parka”. “Parka” comes to and realizes what happens and takes the chair that is still sitting beside him and wacks it up across ODN’s head. ODN falls back with the mask in his hand and “La Parka” immediately covers his face with the chair so no one can see and runs to the back.*
____________
Dave- Next up we have the big grudge match between Evil Masked wordlifeecw and TromboneMan of the Sam08 Family.
Madman- One's evil and masked, one was probably in band in high school. Together, they're your next match. Enjoy.
Grudge Match
Evil Masked wordlifeecw
VS
TromboneMan w/The Sam08
*TromboneMan’s old time band music plays*
*TromboneMan makes his way to the ring, pushing TheSam08 in a wheelchair. They look extremely smug and confident*
*Evil Masked wordlifeecw’s “original kane theme” music plays*
*Evil Masked wordlifeecw comes down the aisle, but a bunch a armed security guards rush down ahead of wordlifeecw, blocking his path to the ring*
The Sam08- Evil Mask, I was taking action against you and the WWCF, and I meant it! I went and got a court order, banning you from being in the ring or at ringside anytime I'm involved in a match! These nice men are going to escort you back to your locker room now, and they're going to make sure you stay there and don't come out while I'm managing the Southwest Connection.
*The guards escort wordlifeecw to the back*
The Sam08- Don't worry though, you'll be allowed to wrestle. Just not tonight, or anytime I'm at ringside. You know when I won't be at ringside? At the next Pay-per-view, when you face Cthulhu in an Iron Maiden match!
Now Mr. referee, I want you to do your job and count Evil Mask out of this match! *The referee reluctantly makes the ten count*
Now Mr. Announcer, declare TromboneMan the winner of the match!
Ring Announcer- Here is your winner, TromboneMan!
*TromboneMan raises his hands in victory before wheeling TheSam to the back*
Dave- What a low thing to do! That isn’t fair.
Madman- Yeah, that was pretty cheap. Even I will admit, I couldn't do that to a guy. I'd at least get one or two shots in before I pulled the protective order card.
___________________
Tag Team Championship 4 Corner Tag Match
Justice and Providence VOTES-1
VS
Stryker Duck Silence(Champions) VOTES-2
VS
The Southwest Connection w/The Sam08 VOTES-5
VS
Motor-Colt and Above Average VOTES-4
*Before the match starts we see that Seth Drakin has made his way out to the ring with his Neighborhood Watch Committee stable mates Justice and Providence.*
Dave- I wonder what Seth Drakin is doing out here? You think he is scouting out MiLo before there big Championship match later in the main event tonight?
Madman- He could be. Or, maybe this match is going to be so good he wanted to see it in person.
*Tyfo and Cthulhu start out in the ring. Cthulhu pops Tyfo in the forehead with a left jab but Tyfo recovers and kicks Cthulhu in the gut. He twists Cthulhu’s arm into an armbar and tags in littlenatich who comes in and punches the armbarred arm of Cthulhu. Littlenaitch shoves Cthulhu into the Southwest’s corner and starts delivering beautiful flair chops.*
Dave- Man Cthulhu’s chest is turning red!!!
Madman- If he had boobies, they would be ready to fall off.
* Littlenaitch irish whips Cthulhu into Stryker Duck Silences corner and littlenaitch comes in with a big splash. Then he slaps MiLo duck across the face tagging MiLo in. Milo runs into the ring and charges after littlenatich giving him a huge lou thez duck press and starts slamming fists into littlenaitch.*
*While this is going on Cthulhu tags in his partner J is Justice and J is Justice comes up form behind MiLo and delivers three german suplexes. Justice covers MiLo but it is broken up at two when Motor-Colt jumps in and breaks up the count. Justice tackles Motor-Colt for breaking up the count letting MiLo get a tag to Strykerdarksilence. Justice throws Motor-Colt onto the outside and Strykerducksilence delivers a huge clothesline to Justice. Stryker picks up Justice and gives him a big scoop slam. He bounces off the ropes and does a big knee to the face of Justice. Stryker gets back up and is about to do another one but gets too close to The Story corner and Above Average slaps Strykers back tagging himself into the match. Above Average punches Stryker and throws him out of the ring and goes for a cover on Justice. The pin is broken up by Cthulhu who comes in and throws Above Average out of the ring right onto Styker!!*
Dave- Uh oh looks like this thing is about to break loose.
Madman- Hey, hey, have you heard the news?
*littlenaitch runs into the ring and superkicks Cthulhu right outside of the ring. Justice runs into the ring and clotheslines littlenaitch to the outside. MiLo Duck runs into the ring and dropkicks Justice to the outside. Tyfo comes in and grabs MiLo about to throw him outside the ring but decides not to and delivers a scoop slam. Littlenaitch starts chopping everyone in sight on the floor lighting everyone up like a Christmas tree. Littlenaitch takes out Cthulhu with a neckbreaker and then back body drops Justice. Motor-Colt comes from behind littlenatich and delivers an atomic drop which sends littlenatich back in the ring. Stryker comes up from behind Motor-Colt and levels him with a huge body shot. Stryker gets in the ring and Tyfo is whaling on MiLo Duck so Stryker pulls him off of MiLo and checks on MiLo while Tyfo sees littlenaitch recovering from an atomic drop and tries to help him recover. The four men finally see that they are the only ones in the ring. MiLo and Stryker charge for the Southwest Connection but Your Uncle Seth Drakin grabs MiLo Duck’s leg and pulls him to the outside not within the ref’s view. Tyfo and littlenatich meet Stryker with a double clothesline*
Dave- Oh no Stryker is all alone in the ring now. Seth Drakin has just pulled out MiLo! The Story and The Neighborhood Watch Committee are brawling with each other on the outside not noticing what is going on intside!!!
Madman: If somebody doesn't settle this down the crowd might start fighting too! Then the stagehands, then the janitors and before you know it, Dave, you and I might have to brawl!
Dave- Chill out. Take one of your precious Xanaflex.
Madman- Oh, no thank you. Tonight's show is brought to you by Cisco. Remember, kids, this is not a wine cooler. It WILL get you drunk. Cisco. It takes you by surprise!
Dave- That's not their slogan anymore. The federal government made them stop using it.
Madman- Why? It's true...
*Tyfo sets Stryker up for a pile driver as littlenaitch gets on the second rope in the corner. Tyfo goes for the pile driver while littlenatich comes down and pushes the feet of Stryker. Tyfo makes the cover as littlenaitch chop The Story and The Neighborhood Watch Committee off the apron.*
1
2
3!!!!
Ring Announcer- Here are your winners and NEWWW WWCF Tag Team Champions………..Littlenaitch and Tyfo The Southwest Connection!!!!!
*Tyfo and littlenaitch quickly grab the WWCF Tag Team Championship belts and wheel TheSam08 up the ramp. Motor-Colt and Above Average run after them but TromboneMan comes out of the entrance way with trombone in hand and threatens them as they back up.*
*Meanwhile Seth Drakin throws MiLo into the ring and hits MiLo with End Of The Story(Canadian destroyer). Commissioner Amigo comes running out with security to pull Seth off of MiLo Duck. As Seth is being pulled off and taken to the back he has a huge smirk on his face.*
Dave- Oh man I have no idea how MiLo is going to recover from a four corner tag team match and Seth’s huge finisher before tonight’s main event after the next match between Starshine and Square.
Madman- Okay, we're continuing with the cheap theme here tonight. If Uncle Seth wins the World title tonight, he should cut the belt up into pieces and give each man in that four corners tag team match a piece of it.
____________
*Shown sitting backstage holding a sports bag next to him. Looks up at the camera.*
Well, here we are again. Stage one. *holds up finger* Establishment. Tonight I'm facing Square. He's apparently English or so I hear, which I think makes this the most international match in the history of this company. Now, with that in mind I've decided to introduce the WWCW Super International North American World Ultra Heavyweight Title.
*Pulls out a cheap looking leather belt covered with various empty Australian beer cans strapped to the sides from the bag*
I will only defend this belt against the most international of contenders. That basically means... Square, and I'll only defend it once. You only get once chance against this jewel.
So, knowing this match is so prestigious and historic in the grand scheme of things I messaged Mr. D-Day Dave on Facebook this morning, asking him to make our match the main event. Well I didn't get a reply, and even worse I checked my sent messages and saw that he'd even read it and still not replied. So in I texted Madman this morning and said; "WTF bro?". He actually replied minutes later and allowed this once in a lifetime opportunity to take place. So for the first and only time ever in the WWCF you will witness the greatest title match in the history of this sport between two great men. And win or lose.. or draw, this'll be one for the record books
______________
Singles Match
Starshine
VS
Square
Results
*Starshine and Square hook up and Square pushes Starshine away. Starshine goes for a right handed punch but Square blocks it and punches Starshine across the face knocking him back to the corner. Square comes running after Starshine but Starshine instinctively goes through the ropes and nails Square with a forearm. Starshine launches himself over the ropes back inside the ring and nails a huge dropkick on Square.*
Dave- Starshine showing some impressive skills here tonight.
Madman- Lot of shapes in this match, don't you think?
*Starshine picks Square up but Square rakes Starshine’s eyes and kicks him in the gut. Square delivers a beautiful suplex on Starshine. Square picks up Starshine and hits a standing drop kick on Starshine. Square goes off the rope off the other side and comes back around and hits a huge summersault into a jumping leg drop. Square goes for the cover.*
1
2
NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Starshine kicks out. Square picks Starshine up and irish whips him from one rope to the other and Starshine comes back and hits a huge spinning back kick sending Square to the outside. Starshine waits for Square to get up on the outside and launches himself over the top rope with a beautiful hurricanrana sending Square into the crowd!!*
Dave- Man both these men are bringing it tonight!
Madman- Let's see that replay! Look...oh...what? We can't do live replays? Man, this production team sucks!
*Starshine jumps up onto the guard rail and jumps off right on Square. Starshine starts delivering devastating blows to Square as he heres the ref is almost to the count of 10
Ref- 8, 9, 10
*Starshine makes it back in just in time to pick up the count out victory!!!!!*
Ring Announcer- And here is your winner by count out………………STARSHINE!!!!!!
Monday NiteRaw Commercial
Dave- And we are back and the crew is setting up the ring for the Good House Keeping Match MAIN EVENT between WWCF World Champion MiLo Duck and number one contender Uncle Seth Drakin. In this match house cleaning supplies will be laying all over the ring and at ringside. The two opponents may use anything that is house cleaning equipment.
Madman- I've been hit with a vacuum cleaner at a party, and I'll tell you now it's not fun. We got brooms, mops, vacuum cleaners, all kinds of toxic cleaning chemicals, I even thought I saw some steel wool! The heck with a cheese grater, that would be some pain!
Dave- Well, if you're tired of waiting then wait no more. Main Event time!
_______________
MAIN EVENT: GOOD HOUSE KEEPING MATCH WWCF World Heavyweight Championship(Rules for this match is that they can use house cleaning products such as brooms and stuff like that.)
Your Uncle Seth Drakin(Challenger)
VS
MiLo Duck(Champion)
*Seth makes his entrance and awaits MiLo Duck as he still has a huge smirk on his face from earlier*
*For a while nothing happens and there is no sign of MiLo.*
Dave- Well this isn’t a good sign.
Madman- Maybe he couldn't recover in time...
*MiLo comes out of the crowd from the back with Seth not noticing still looking at the ramp waiting. MiLo has a broom in his hand and comes up from behind Seth and cracks it over the skull of Seth Drakin!! MiLo picks up Seth and tosses him into the corner sending Seth right over the top rope!!*
Madman- Or maybe he could!
Dave- Man is MiLo out for revenge for what happen to him earlier!
*MiLo picks up an ironing board and throws it out onto Seth. Seth takes the blow hard and is out on the concrete floor. MiLo comes out onto the floor and grabs a vaccum cleaner. MiLo takes the cord and wraps it around the throat of Seth choking the life out of him. MiLo picks up Seth by the cords and swings him into the steel steps. MiLo picks up Seth and throws him into the ring.*
Dave- Man MiLo is really taking it to Seth Drakin. I never knew ducks could be so violent!
Madman- Quack quack. Don't you remember the Bash Brothers?
Dave- Eh?
Madman- Mighty Ducks!
*MiLo gets on the apron to get back in the ring but Seth recovers quickly and delivers a shoulder blow to MiLo knocking MiLo onto the floor. Seth follows and bangs MiLo’s head onto the apron several times and then throws MiLo into the ring violently. Seth picks up a small kitchen table on the outside of the ring and throws it into the ring. He goes under the ropes real quick and sets the table right side up while giving boots to MiLo. Seth picks up a mop and gets MiLo into a camel clutch with it. The ref asks MiLo if he wants to quit but MiLo keeps yelling NO!!!!! Seth finally lets go and picks up some Comet cleaning stuff. He poors some out onto his hand and waits for MiLo to slowly get up.*
Dave- Oh no he isn’t going to throw that into MiLo’s face is he?
Madman- Well, he doesn't have any salt.
*MiLo gets up and Seth is about to throw the Comet powder into MiLo’s face but MiLo hits Seth’s hands and knocks it into Seth’s face!!! Seth takes a Dust Buster and turns it on full blast. He sticks the sucking side to Seth’s head and delivers a big DDT as Seth’s face smashes into the dust buster!!!*
Madman: And MiLo's got the Pine-Sol! And a mop! He wouldn't...he would! A mop to the head! And now...he's going to make Seth Drakin's back hair lemony fresh! He's pouring it all over his back and mopping it up! Dave, can I ask you something?
Dave- Sure.
Madman- Why would someone take time in the middle of a wrestling match to give their opponent a bath?
Dave- No clue. I always thought Seth kept himself really clean being a neat freak and all.
Madman: Just wondering. Oh, much better! The duck rubs Pine-Sol in Uncle Seth's eyes with the mop! Now that makes sense! He's trying to shine up his retinas!
Dave- Man that mixed with the Comet can’t be good for Seth Drakin’s eyes!!
*MiLo picks up Seth and goes for the QUACKERJACK but Seth blocks it and shoves MiLo into a corner. Seth quickly grabs a plunger and sticks it to MiLo’s face.*
Dave- Okay now I know that isn’t hygienic!
Madman- Especially if that's not brand new.
*Seth holds onto the plunger stuck to MiLo’s head and starts shaking it back and forth while he kicks MiLo in the gut. Seth then grabs a vaccum cleaner and spreads MiLo’s legs and lays the head of the vaccum cleaner in the middle.*
Dave- Oh no!!! Don’t tell me he is going to do what I think he is going to do!!!
Madman- He's going to sweep his carpet for him.
*Seth goes to the opposite corner and comes running over to where MiLo is and delivers a huge hesitation dropkick right into the vaccum cleaner going into MiLo’s manhood. Seth recovers from the dropkick fall and goes for the cover!
1
2
3!!!!!!
NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dave- MILO KICKS OUT!!!! MILO KICKS OUT!!! MADMAN THE DUCK JUST KICKED OUT!!!!
Madman- QUAAAAAACK!
*Seth is very upset now and grabs a lighter from out of his pocket. He takes some Clorox cleaner and sprays the table kitchen table he threw into the ring earlier. He takes the lighter and SETS THE KITCHEN TABLE ON FIRE!!!!!!!!!!*
Dave- Hey since when was fire a housecleaning appliance?
Madman- Since Andre Rison and Left-Eye Lopez.
*Seth grabs the last thing beside the kitchen table that hasn’t been used yet in this match……………….THE KITCHEN SINK!!! MiLo is laying back first on the ground looking up at Seth and Seth holds the sink up about to bring it down on MiLo.
Dave- Oh my gosh he wouldn’t!!!!!!!!!!
*As Seth is about to bring it down onto MiLo’s face MiLo kicks Seth right in the nuts.*
Dave- Well that was payback for that devastating vaccum dropkick move from earlier.
Madman- No, it's really not...
*Seth drops the sink and MiLo moves out of the way before it can hit him. MiLo grabs Seth and sets him up right by the BURNING KITCHEN TABLE!!!! MILO DUCK HITS THE QUACKERJACK THROUGH THE BURNING KITCHEN TABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Madman- THAT's payback.
1
2
3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dave- MILO WINS!!!!! MILO WINS!!!! MILO WINS!!!!
Madman- Give that duck a piece of bread!
Ring Announcer- And here is your winner and STILLL WORLD WRESTLECRAP FEDERATION CHAMPION……………………..MILOOOOOOOOOOOOO DUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Stryker runs down to the ring and celebrates with MiLo as the crowd goes wild. Justice and Providence come out and pull the fallen Seth Drakin out of the ring and carry his lifeless body to the back.*
Dave- Well congratulations to MiLo Duck for being the first person to ever defend the WWCF World Title successfully. For Madman Szalinski I’m D-Day Dave goodnight everybody!!! Man was that wild!!!
Madman- Don't drink WD-40, kids!
*Credits run and the show fades to black*
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