WWCF Rumble in the Jungle August 31, 2009
A video opens the show, highlighting Seth Drakin V. Jazzman, Motor-Colt V. Cthulhu, Square V. Starshine, Above Average V. M.O.P. V. Aaron Enigma, and of course, the Guerrilla Rumble.
Pyro explodes as the official theme song of Rumble in the Jungle, Indestructible by Disturbed, blares through the arena. The camera pans the crowd, zooming in on a sign that reads, “RISE OF JAZZ, FALL OF SETH”. We then go to Gorilla Tim Hoss and Jesse King at ringside.
Ladies and gentlemen, can you feel the electricity in the air tonight?! Welcome to WWCF Rumble in the Jungle! Gorilla Tim Hoss here, joined as always by the unpredictable Jesse King.
Gorilla, the atmosphere in the Parts Unknown arena tonight is unbelievable! It’s Rumble in the Jungle and I’m ready to see a rumble!
We have seven huge matches lined up for tonight, including the Guerilla Rumble.
28 men will enter, each with his own weapon of choice. But when the smoke clears, only one will remain standing, and that man will go on to challenge for the World Championship at GookerMania II!
But who will be the World Champion at GookerMania? We’ll find out later tonight when Seth Drakin puts his title on the line against Jazzman!
We’ve seen this brewing since the beginning of WWCF Gorilla, and later tonight, the score get’s settled once and for all. King Motor-Colt V. Cthulhu in a Phantom of the Opera match!
Since October, Above Average has reigned as the WWCF Inter-Forum Champion, but tonight, two men look to unseat him. One is a member of Corporate, the other a fellow member of the Story. A lot on the line tonight when Above Average, M.O.P., and Aaron Enigma collide for the Inter-Forum Championship!
Some have called them one of the greatest tag teams in WWCF history, and they could very well be right. But tonight, the Non-American Heroes explode right before our eyes, as Starshine takes on Square one on one, tonight!
The Non-American Heroes ay be a great tag team from the past, but tonight we’ll see two great tag teams from the present meet for number one contendership. Stryker and Viva Los Bio Dome, The Resistance, take on Koda and Legion, The Deadly and The Sinful!
And kicking things off tonight, three men are gunning for the WWCF Heatz!!1 Championship! It’s Brahma Bull V. Pushkilla V. Cageking V. Jay Carroll, it’s a Scramble Cage, and it’s right now!
Scramble Cage Match for the WWCF Heatz!!1 Championship: “Champagne“ Jay Carroll [c] V. The Pushkilla V. Cageking V. The Amazing Brahma Bull
Michael Muffer: Tonight’s opening contest is scheduled for one fall, and will be contested inside of the Scramble Cage. The Sunday Night Heatz!!1 Championship is on the line.
*CageKing comes walking down the ramp, rapping his original freestyle*
Muffer: Approaching the ring first, standing at 5’11”, weighing in at 295 pounds, hailing from Los Angeles, California, he is CageKing!
*CageKing walks down the ramp rapping and shaking hands, then enters the Scramble Cage. He tries to perch on one of the platforms, but doesn’t quite make it up, so he settles in on the top rope and waits*
*Cult of Personality*
Muffer: Now approaching the ring, standing at 5’9”, weighing in at 219 pounds , 15.64 stone, and hailing from Glascow, Scotland, Brahma Bull!
*Brahma Bull shuffles down the ramp and settles into the corner adjacent to CageKing*
*Supernaut – Black Sabbath*
Muffer: Now approaching the ring, standing at 5’10”, weighing in at 245 pounds, and hailing from The First State, he is the PushKilla!
*PushKilla walks down the ramp with a purpose, ignoring the fans who reach out for him. He glowers at Brahma Bull in his corner, then settles in and waits.*
*Panic Switch – Silversun Pickups*
Muffer: Approaching the ring accompanied by his lovely assistants, standing at 5’11”, weighing in at 215 pounds, he is the defending Sunday Night Heatz!!1 Champion, “Champagne” Jay Carroll!
*Jay approaches the cage slowly, looking in at his opponents. He apprehensively walks thru the cage door and tries to prevent the referee from closing it.*
“Gorilla” Tim Hoss: Jay doesn’t look like he wants any part of this cage match. I think the champ is legitimately scared for his title tonight, King
Jesse King: Well, you would be afraid as well if you were locked in a cage with an overweight rapper, a zombie, and a man who wants to choke you out Gorilla.
The referee motions for the bell to ring. Jay is backed up in his corner by all three men. He tries to climb onto one of the platforms but is pulled back down. PushKilla and CageKing lay the boots into him while Brahma Bull prevents hm from escaping. Jay stumbles out of the corner and is met with a flying elbow from CageKing. CageKing goes for the pinfall but is pulled off by PushKilla.
Tim Hoss: Well, so much for that supposed Carroll-Brahma Bull alliance!
PushKilla and CageKing begin arguing with each other about who gets to pin Jay. Brahma Bull attempts to crash the party but is stopped with a double elbow from both men. Jay crawls away and is pulled up in the corner so PushKilla can deliver a club to the neck. CageKing starts the beating of Brahma Bull in the other corner, beginning with shoulder thrusts to the gut and following it with another flying elbow. CageKing and PushKilla send Jay Carroll and Brahma Bull flying into each other via twin Irish Whips.
Jesse King: You know the Scotsman hated that! Not only did he just clunk heads with Jay, he was Irish Whipped!
CageKing follows up with a DDT and goes for the pin. PushKilla breaks up the pinfall and they begin disagreeing again. Brahma Bull hits both men with uppercuts and begins laying into them with more punches and kicks with zombie precision. Jay just sits back and recuperates in the corner, taking advantage of CageKing being down and hitting a Champagne-sault. Brahma Bull breaks up the pin attempt and sends Jay flying into the cage. Brahma Bull then attempts to gain the pin, but is stopped by PushKilla. PushKilla gives Brahma Bull a German suplex.
1..
2…
CageKing interrupts the count, throwing PushKilla into the cage. Jay climbs to the platform and tries to hide from the rest of the competitors. CageKing runs up the turnbuckle and kicks the platform, sending Jay flying to the canvas. CageKing catches him in midair and lands The Overnight Celebrity!
The crowd pops to its feet!
1…
2…
Brahma Bull and PushKilla both interrupt the count. Jay lays on the mat prone, while Brahma Bull sprays Zombie Mist into CageKing’s eyes, inadvertently hitting the referee with it as well. CageKing swings wildly after getting Zombie Mist-ed, smashing the referee down with a lariat. PushKilla catches CageKing and locks in the katahajime , choking CageKing out. Brahma Bull waits for PushKilla to let CageKing out of the hold and smacks him hard with an enziguri while Jay pulls himself up in the corner. Jay motions to one of his assistants to climb the cage and hand him a foreign object.
“Gorilla” Tim: No! Jay’s trying to cheat his way into yet another victory!
The assistant lays the item on top of a platform and is scared away by Brahma Bull. Jay feigns injury in the corner while Brahma Bull goes to see what the object is. Jay hits a low blow on Brahma Bull, which only pisses him off (since he is the undead) but grabs the foreign object and smashes it over Brahma Bull’s head, crashing him to the mat.
“Gorilla” Tim: It’s a champagne bottle! Damn that Jay Carroll!
PushKilla staggers to his feet, still staggered from the enziguri. Jay hits the Last Call just as the referee comes to and cleans the Zombie Mist from his eyes. He pins PushKilla’s sholders to the mat and grabs the tights where the referee can’t see him.
1…
2…
3!
Jay rolls off of PushKilla and demands the cage door be opened immediately. The referee tries to stop him to raise his arm but Jay is already halfway up the ram and couldn’t care less
Muffer: Your winner of the match and still Sunday Night Heatz!!1 champion, “Champagne” Jay Carroll!
King: I keep telling you not to bet against this kid! He’s got a horseshoe lodged inside of him or something Gorilla!Hoss: That might be true King, but how many times can he depend on interference and luck to continue this undefeated streak of his? He won’t have those luxuries later on tonight in the Rumble, that’s for sure.
Up next, a tag team number one contender’s match, as The Resistance battles The Deadly and The Sinful!
The Resistance(Stryker and Viva Los Bio Dome) V. The Deadly and The Sinful(Legion and Koda)
The following tag team contest is set for one fall, with a 45 minute time limit. The winners will receive a WWCF World Tag Team Championship match on next week’s Monday Niteraw!
Agent of Chaos plays over the speakers as Koda and Legion walk to the ring.
Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 476 pounds, Legion and Koda, The Deadly and The Sinful!
Koda and Legion enter and remove their entrance gear, as the drums and bagpipes start up, and the stage fills with smoke.
And their opponents, coming in at a total combined weight of 435 pounds, Viva Los Bio Dome and Stryker Dark Silence, The Resistance!
As the smoke starts to clear, the music shifts to The Safety Dance, as Stryker and Viva emerge from the back and run to the ring. All four men begin brawling as the referee tries to restore order so that the match can begin. Legion and Viva fight in one corner while Stryker battles Koda in the other. Legion deposits Viva to the floor, while Stryker does the same to Koda. The ref calls for the opening bell.
Stryker and Legion tie up, and Legion tosses Stryker to the mat. Stryker pops right back up and they tie up again. Stryker shoots in for Legion’s leg and takes the big man to the mat. Stryker transitions around into a front facelock and starts laying in to Legion with elbows to the back and ribs. Legion works his way to his feet, with Stryker still holding on, and slams him to the mat! Legion makes the first cover of the match.
1
Kickout.
Legion applies a wristlock, and maneuvers Stryker to his corner where Koda tags in. Koda comes off the top rope with a double axehandle shot. Koda continues to work over Stryker’s right arm with elbows and armbars. Koda whips Stryker into the ropes, but Stryker ducks a clothesline on the way back and rolls to his corner to tag Viva in.
Here we go, Jess! Things are about to get very interesting!
Viva and Koda had a months long rivalry, filled with countless bloody matches. Now they meet once again in this tag team match!
Viva and Koda circle each other before locking up. Koda applies a side headlock, but Viva counters it into a hammerlock. Koda counters the hammerlock into a front facelock, but Viva counters that with a Northern Lights Suplex!
1
Kickout!
Both men lock up again, and Viva goes for a suplex, but Koda blocks it. Koda tries for a suplex of his own, but Viva blocks that!
It’s stalemate, Jess!
These two know each other that well!
Viva shoves Koda back and charges, but Koda drop toeholds Viva and locks in a headlock. Viva rolls with it into a cover!
1
Kickout!
Both men are up, as Koda runs the ropes. Koda goes for a clothesline as Viva is ready to catch him with a punch. They both stop short and stare each other down as the fans applaud both men. Koda goes to his corner and tags Legion in, as Viva tags Stryker. Stryker charges at Legion, who catches him and slams him to the mat! Cover!
1!
Kickout!
Legion pulls Stryker up for a backbreaker, but Stryker slides out of it and transitions into a sunset flip!
1!
Kickout!
Both men are up, but Legion levels Stryker with a clothesline. Koda tags in and Legion lifts him up on his shoulders. Koda comes down with a frog splash across Stryker’s chest! Cover!
1!
2!
Kickout!
Koda locks in a rear chinlock on Stryker, who struggles to keep Koda from applying pressure. Stryker is able to force Koda off him and as Koda runs at him, catches him with a knee to the midsection! Stryker applies a headlock, but Koda is able to free himself, only for Stryker to catch him off guard with the Cyclone Cutter! Cover!
1!
2!
Kickout!
Viva tags in and stays on Koda with elbows, knees, and stomps, before applying a shoulder lock. Koda struggles in the hold, but Viva has it cinched in. Koda tries to reach the ropes, but Viva pulls him back to the center of the ring. Koda yells out in pain and is about to tap, but Legion breaks it up with a boot to the head! Stryker tackles Legion and the two brawl as Koda and Viva struggle to get to their feet. The referee starts his count, on both Koda and Viva, as well as on Stryker on Legion.
1!
2!
3!
Viva is pulling himself to the ropes, as Koda uses his good arm to try and pull himself up.
4!
5!
6!
Viva get’s to the ropes and Koda get’s to his feet. Legion throws Stryker to the outside and returns to his corner, where Koda tags out. Legion enters and charges Viva who uses Legion’s momentum to roll him up!
1!
2!
Kickout!
Legion backs Koda into the corner and hit’s him with a running lariat, followed by a big DDT! Cover!
1!
2!
Stryker breaks it up!
Koda enters to attack Stryker, but the referee pulls him back. Stryker and Viva take advantage and doubleteam Legion until the ref turns around. Viva double underhook’s Legion and hit’s a butterfly suplex! Cover!
1!
2!
Legion shoots his shoulder up off the mat just before 3!
Viva tags in Stryker, who dropkick’s Legion right in the face as he tries to sit up! Stryker mounts Legion and lays into him with MMA elbows as Legion tries to cover up. The ref has to pull Stryker off and ask Legion if he can continue. Legion says yes and Stryker is right back on him! Legion still can’t get his hands up, and the ref has to once again pull Stryker off to check on Legion. Legion insists on continuing. Stryker pounces on him once again, but this time Legion flips him over! Legion pounds away on Stryker with punch after punch, as the referee warns him about closed strikes.
1!
2!
3!
4!
Legion stops and pulls Stryker up.
Legion goes for a lariat, but Stryker catches the arm! Crossface! Legion desperately tries to grab the bottom rope, but Stryker holds him tight. However, Stryker’s right arm is still hurting him from earlier, and he is unable to hold Legion for very long. Legion fights out of the hold and rolls Stryker up!
1!
2!
Kickout!
Both men are on their feet and trade punches in the middle of the ring. Stryker misses with a haymaker, and Legion tries for a discus punch but misses. Both men run at each other and knock each other to the mat with clotheslines! The ref begins his count!
1!
2!
3!
The fans, as well as Viva and Koda try to will their partners over to their corners.
4!
5!
6!
Both men crawl towards their partners!
7!
8!
9!
Stryker makes the tag! Legion makes the tag!
Viva charges Koda, who catches him with a belly to belly suplex! Koda climbs to the top rope, split legged moon-VIVA ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!!! KODA MISSES!!! KODA MISSES!!!!
This is an unbelievable match we are witnessing here!
If this is what they’d do for a shot at the belts, I wouldn’t wanna be Cthulhu and Starshine when the title match happens!
Viva drapes an arm over Koda!
1!
2!
KODA KICKS OUT AT 2 AND SEVEN EIGHTHS!!!!
Viva shoots Koda into the ropes and catches him coming back with a punch! He follows with another, then two more, before winding up for the big one. Viva goes for it, Purple Sticky Pun-LEGION WITH A LARIAT!!!! Stryker dives onto Legion and the two fall to the outside, where they continue their brawl. Viva is able to get to his feet, but Koda meets him there, KILLING JOKE!!!!! COVER!!!!
1!
2!
3!
Here are your winners, Koda and Legion, The Deadly and The Sinful!!!
The fans stand up, applauding both teams, and more importantly, all four men. Stryker and Legion reenter the ring as the ovation continues. Stryker helps Viva up, as Legion pulls Koda to his feet. The four men stare each other down for a minute, before they all embrace. The fans are going crazy now. The four pull back, as Koda and Legion promise Stryker and Viva the first title match once they win the belts.
An unbelievable match, Gorilla!
Indeed it was, Jess! Now on NiteRaw next week, we will see Two Guys Who Seriously Rock defend their titles against The Deadly and The Sinful!
I can’t wait, that should be a hell of a match!
Another match that should be a hell of a match is coming next! Cthulhu V, King Motor-Colt, in a Phantom of the Opera Match!
Phantom of the Opera Match: King Motor-Colt V. Cthulhu
Michael Muffer: The following contest is the Phantom of the Opera Match! And the rules are as followed; There is no pinfall, no submission, no count out and no disqualification. Both men will start in the ring and will have to race to the arena's basement. At the far end of the basement there is a Phantom mask concealed in a glass box. In order to win you must break the glass box and place the mask on your opponent.
Now introducing first...
Nikopol
Weighing in tonight at one hundred and eighty pounds, hailing from WWCF Headquarters, He is the Corporate Rocker... Cthulhu!
Cthulhu comes out to boos, but he plays it off as if he were getting cheered. He stands in the ring and begins to air guitar.
And his opponent...
The lights dim and the opening riff to Iron Maiden's "Phantom of the Opera" hits as lightning appears over the Titantron... suddenly the music cuts and Colt's voice appears over the PA.
"You know that time in your life, that single moment that defines exactly who you are? Well that only stings for a second..."
Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em
Weighing in tonight at two hundred and fifty-six pounds, hailing from The Daily Story, Australia he is the King of Wrestlecrap, King Colt!
Colt walks out with his eyes focuses solely on Cthulhu. He gets right in Cthulhu's face and points to the scar going down his face that his Phantom mask would usually be covering. "This is your destiny."
These two have faced off more times than I can count partner, each time is more intense than the last.
You're right there, and I'm sure this it goes without saying that this is going to be the toughest yet.
The bell rings and the two men stare eachother down, Cthulhu looking at Colt then the entrance ramp and back at Colt. Colt offers a lock-up and Cthulhu teases it, but suddenly kicks Colt below the belt and plants him with a DDT and quickly begins to make a run for it. He goes to run up the ramp, but Colt eventually rolls out of the ring. Cthulhu turns to face Colt as he keeps running but eventually loses his footing and trips up about half way up the ramp. Colt stomps on Cthulhu. Cthulhu gets to his feet and starts punching at Colt, but Colt whips Cthulhu hard into the barricade and dives at him with punches. Cthulhu pushes him off, Colt goes back to him but Cthulhu drops him with a Drop Toe Hold making Colt fall throat first on the barricade.
Cthulhu considers making another run for it, but instead decides to grab a chair and cracks Colt in the back again and again. He picks up the limp Colt and slaps him, Colt responds with a jaw breaker followed by a neckbreaker onto the ramp. This time Colt gets the chair and tells Cthulhu to get up. Cthulhu gets to one knee and looks at Colt, Colt smiles and smashes the chair over his head. Colt begins to walk up the ramp, but when he gets to the very top he turns around and shakes his head and runs back down to Cthulhu. Picks him up and rolls him into the ring. Colt looks under the ring for more weapons, after looking for a bit he pauses and looks over towards the announcer desk. He walks over to it and picks up Cthulhu's guitar. He takes with him to the ring and measures Cthulhu for it. Cthulhu isn't moving so Colt goes towards him, he goes to pick Cthulhu up and out of nowhere Cthulhu nails Colt in the face with brass knucks. Cthulhu then grabs his guitar and measure Colt with it, Colt struggles to his feet and dodges the guitar shot, Cthulhu then punches Colt in the gut with the knucks. Cthulhu then follows up with a Shining Wizard. He goes to head out, but instead climbs the top tope with the Guitar in hand. He wraps it over himself with the strap and performs a Frog Splash onto Colt with the Guitar. Both men are down.
My god! What won't these two men do to each other?
You can't forget, these guys have so much history. When this started Colt was a lowly reporter and Cthulhu has a masachistic freak...
After that move, I'm sure Cthulhu hasn't changed THAT much.
Both men struggle to their feet, both needing the ropes for support. Colt punches Cthuhlu, Cthulhu goes to punch Colt with the knucks but Colt catches it and rips the knuncks and throws them away. Cthulhu knees Colt to the chest and throws him to the outside. Cthuhlu goes outside and gingerly walks up the ramp. Colt gets to his feets and tackels Cthulhu right by the entrace gate, they start brawling their way through the gate and into the backstage area. Cthuhlu hits a neckbreaker on Colt into a door of a locker room and the door busts open.
Turns out it's Seth's locker room and Noman was about to undress. Cthulhu suddenly stops, looks up and smile and Noman screams in horror. Cthulhu shakes his head and attempts to start laying into Colt but Colt rakes his eyes and throws Cthulhu out of the room. Colt gets the cable of a camera and wraps it around Cthuhlu throat and begins to strangle him, followed by a White Russian Legsweep. Colt looks around, trying to get another object. Colt looks up and finds both an Applause Sign and a Boo sign. "Heh, so that's how he gets so much heat..." Colt rips the sign off and turns to Cthuhlu, but Cthulhu drop kicks the sign into Colt's face. Followed by a hard clothesline. Cthulhu then starts running down the hallway looking for the Basement entrance. He opens random doors, leading to broom closets and random lockerrooms. He looks at one of the doors and sees a picture of a Trombone on it. Out of curiosity he opens it and inside is none other than TromboneMan, the only man to win a Phantom Match to date. TromboneMan waves oddly at Cthulhu, out of nowhere Colt jumps Cthulhu from behind and starts laying into him. And they brawl back outside of the lockerroom.
Cthulhu rakes and Colt's eyes and throws him into the walls, he picks up a chain that was locking one of the doors and nails Colt right in the head with it, making Colt a bloody mess. Cthulhu then throws Colt into the door and Colt falls down a massive flight of stairs...
Looks like Cthulhu has found the basement!
Looks like Colt has found the floor.
Cthulhu arrogantly walks down the stair and looks at Colt's limp, bloody body and simply laughs. He sees the Glass Box at the end of the room. He begins to walk towards it. He then pauses and looks back at Colt. He picks Colt up and throws him into a water heater, then rams his shoulder into his gut. Cthuhlu then grabs Colt's arm and clotheslines him down the hard ground. He picks him up and smiles as he looks him into the bloody face. Colt suddenyl hits a headbutt to Cthulhu, followed by another and another, busting Cthulhu up the hardway. Cthulhu stumbles backwards giving Colt some distance. Cthuhlu runs at Colt, but Colt catches him with a punch to the midsection. Colt then sets Cthulhu up into an Argentine Backbreaker and Drops down to his knees (The Story of the Year). Both men are down and they begin crawling to the glass box, with Colt getting closer to it than Cthulhu. Cthuhlu eventually gets to his feet first and picks up a fire hydrant and throws it at Colt. Cthulhu then walks past Colt. Cthulhu grabs the Glass box and goes to measure up Colt with it. Colt eventually gets to his feet and Cthuhlu swings it at Colt but Colt rolls out of the way. Cthulhu turns around and Colt superkicks the glass box right in Cthulhu's face.
MY GOD! That glass went all over Cthulhu!
But that kick took a lot out of Colt.
Just goes to show how far these guys will go to put an end to this rivalry
No question, the longest running feud in WWCF history comes to an end. Tonight.
Colt gets up before Cthulhu and helps Cthulhu to his feet. The two men stare down for quite a while, blood dripping down their faces. Both men are smiling. The crowd erupts.
Cthulhu goes for a kick, but Colt catches the kick and spins Cthulhu around, Colt then hits The Story On Page One, he picks up Cthulhu's limp head and places the mask over his face.
And the winner of the match, King Colt!
Colt falls to the ground and holds up his hand in victory, EMT's run down to aid both men. Both men get a standing ovation.
And there you have it, it's finally over, neither man can be ashamed with that performance!
But how the hell are these guys going to compete in the Rumble match now!
That is indeed the question, but knowing the mental and physical toughness of both these men, I will not be surprised to see them return for more later on!
I can’t believe some of the action we’ve seen already here tonight!
And there’s still more to come! Up next, former tag team partners collide! It’s Square V. Starshine!
Square V. Starshine
Michael Muffer - The following contest is scheduled for one fall and has a 30 minute time limit.
*Square's theme begins playing on the PA. He appears on the stage.*
Michael Muffer - Coming down to the ring and weighing in at 210 pounds. He resides from Preston, England. He is Square.
As Square walks down the entrance ramp, he’s suddenly blindsided by Starshine, who hits him from behind with a shiny, silver, steel chair. Starshine sets the chair on the floor and delivers a Starshot on to it. He picks him up and throws him into the steel steps, before rolling into the ring. Paramedics from backstage rush out to check on Square. Inside, Starshine climbs a corner turnbuckle and yells at the crowd to respect him. The paramedics pick up Square and help him up the ramp. But halfway up, Square seems to find his bearings and turns back, wanting back to the ring. He pushes off the paramedics and stumbles back, rolling inside, as Starshine looks on with shock.
The bell rings.
Starshine doesn’t give Square a chance to get up as he stomps him down. He quickly goes for a pin for 2. He picks him up and delivers an STO backbreaker. Without letting him go, he shoves Square chest first into a corner turnbuckle. He delivers a series of forearms and knees to the lower back, followed by a lungblower. He rolls outside and drags Square with him. Grabbing him by the hair, Starshine drags Square over to the time keeper’s table, knocking Michael Muffer off his chair in the process. He flips the table over on top of them both and stomps it. He drags Square back up and throws him back inside the ring. Starshine attempts another pin but Square kicks out at 2. Starshine immediately follows up with a grounded headlock. He transitions over Square, placing his nearest knee on his lower back as he pulls back on his head. He loosens his grip, letting Square’s head down and delivers a stiff knee drop to Square’s back. He covers for another 2 count.
Visually frustrated, Starshine rolls outside and grabs his chair, bringing it back in. The referee quickly intercepts him and takes it from him. As he leaves the ring to place it outside, Square surprises Starshine with a low blow from behind. Starashine, clutching his groin collapses to the mat. Favouring his lower back, Square struggles to his feet. He picks up Starshine and delivers a series of forearms. He then hits the ropes and takes him down with a swinging neckbreaker. He signals for the L7. He tries to lift Starshine up for the move, but collapses under the weight, clutching his back in pain. Starshine takes the opportunity to hit his Russian Backbreaker. He goes for another pin, but Square still kicks out. Starshine, looks towards the referee and advances toward him, delivering a rough shove.
Referee, Floyd McFloyd – Hey, you touch me again and I’ll disqualify you.
Starshine – Ref, he can’t continue. You really need to end the match.
Referee, Floyd McFloyd – No, this match only ends when I say so. I say this match continues!
Starshine backs up a little and turns to see Square somehow on his feet. Square goes for the Squaresplosion, but Starshine ducks, dragging the referee in the range of the move. Square strikes the referee, knocking him out cold. Square stalls, realizing what he did. Starshine takes advantage, hitting Square with a blind spot. He grabs him to attempt the Starshot. Square fights free of the move and connects his own fisherman suplex. Square, clutching his left eye, with one hand, and his back with another, kneels on the mat, still in pain. Another referee, Jon Creed, rushes to the ring to officiate the match. Square slowly brings Starshine to his feet and tries to lift him up for the L7 again. Starshine fights against the move, and Square drops him. Starshine decks Square with a clothesline and attempts another pin.
1…
2…
Square kicks out with a primal yell.
Starshine slaps the mat in frustration and rolls outside. He picks up a small bottle from under the ring and places it in his right boot. He then picks up his silver chair and places it in the ring corner. He climbs back in, but is caught by a sudden Squaresplosion. Square goes for his own pin.
1…
2…
Starshine puts his foot on the nearby bottom rope.
Square, looks toward the ring corner and notices the chair. He walks over to it, picking it up and looking down at Starshine. The referee is quick to warn him not to use it. But Square either can’t hear him or doesn’t listen. He looks toward the crowd and raises the chair, pointing at Starshine to their approval. He raises the chair over his head ready to strike, but has it taken from him by the referee who tells him he won’t end it like this. Square grabs a hold of the chair and the two fight over it. Starshine, now conscious, gets to his knee and takes out the small bottle from his boot. He opens it and pours the contents in his hand. He quietly gets to his feet.
Starshine – HEY, PARTNER!
Starshine throws a handful of white powder, but Square moves taking control the chair and causing the substance to only hit the referee, blinding him. Starshine hits a superkick to the chair in Square’s hands, knocking it into him headfirst. Starshine quickly locks in and hits the Starblind. He then picks up the chair and delivers a series of blows to Square’s back. He finishes and throws the chair outside. He then grabs Square’s legs and sets up for his sharpshooter. As he turns, Square fights the move, but Starshine retaliates with boots him to the ribs. He turns over and sits back in the hold. Referee, Will Alphonzo rushes to the ring and asks Square if he wants to submit.
Referee, Will Alphonzo – Square, do you give up?
Square – UGH ARGHHHH… NO!
Square fights his way towards the bottom rope, fighting through all the pain. He slowly reaches out and grabs it. Starshine immediately releases the hold, turns and stomps Square straight on his head. He drags him back to the center and locks in the sharpshooter again. Square appears out cold.
The referee lifts his arm up.
His arm drops the first time.
He lifts it up a second time.
It drops again.
He lifts it up again.
The arm falls but stops short of hitting the mat.
Square pushes himself up and yells. He fights towards the ropes again but Starshine quickly improvisers the hold, placing a knee in the small of his back. With no where to go the referee asks him if he wants to end it.
Referee, Will Alphonzo – Square, what do you say?
Square – ARGHHHHH NO! I. DON’T. GIVE. UP.
Referee, Will Alphonzo – Square, are you sure? Square? Square… NO THAT’S IT THIS MATCH IS OVER! RING THE BELL, HE CAN’T CONTINUE!
The bell rings. Starshine releases the hold and slowly rolls outside as Will Alphonzo tends to Square.
Michael Muffer – The winner of this match… via referee’s decision, Starshine.
*Starshine grabs his chair and walks backstage, still feeling the effects of the match. In the ring Square sits in the corner, expressionless. A lone paramedic enters the ring and talks to Square, who seems to ignore him. Using the ropes for leverage, he slowly and painfully climbs to his feet. He pushes away the paramedic and rolls out to the floor. Will Alphonzo follows him out and recommends him to have the paramedic check on him. Square furiously grabs him by his shirt, but stops short of hitting him. He stares eye to eye with him, but calms down and releases his grip. He walks past him, up the ramp to the back, selling the pain. The referee and paramedic closely follow.*
Well, we certainly hope Square is OK. Up next is the Inter-Forum Championship match. Standing by with prerecorded comments is one of the challengers, Aaron Enigma!
*Aaron is seen in his study, he's preparing for his match. He notices the camera and gets a confident look on his face*
Now before I talk about my match, I do have an announcement to make. I have eliminated one more person from the list of Corporate traitor. I am happy to announce that...Tyfo is not the traitor!
Now, that it's out of the way, tonight I have my second title match of my career against M.O.P. and the current champion and my stablemate Above Average. Last week I said that if I lose this match, I will leave The Story. Colt, AA, I made this decision for a reason. You guys are my friends but there are things I have to do. I am currently investigating the traitor of Corporate, and I'm trying to get a title win around my waist. I couldn't do that before when the 3 big champions were you two and Evil-M. It was hard you know, living in your shadows. I'm done with that though. I am grateful for all you've done for me but it is time for me to shine. Tonight is my night, and I will come out the new Inter-Forum Champion. When I win tonight my place in The Story will have meaning and I won't just be one of the guys.
Inter-Forum Championship: Above Average [c] V. M.O.P. V. Aaron Enigma
And now, ladies and gentlemen, our next big title match!
The following Triple Threat match is set for one fall and it is for the Inter-Forum Championship!
*Take the Power Back*
Introducing first, representing the Story! From Chicago, Illinois and weighing in at 256 pounds. Head Detective Aaron Enigma!
The fans go wild as Aaron Enigma makes his way to the ring, giving high fives to some of the fans in the audience along the way.
Aaron Enigma made quite a gamble! 'Rilla, you heard what he said right?
Indeed, Jesse. If Aaron Enigma does not win the Inter-Forum Championship tonight, he will quit The Story!
*Painkiller*
Next, representing WWCF Corporate! From Bergen County, New Jersey, and weighing in at 232 pounds. M. O. P.!
The cheers mostly turn into boos for the Corporate Savior of Sports Entertainment as he struts confidently to the ring. Although there is a scattered amount of cheers that can barely be heard in the crowd over the much louder jeers.
I'm not sure where M.O.P.'s exactly coming from here, King. On the one hand, he's shown an honorable side to him. But then he turns around and shows that he's the same M.O.P. we've seen since he joined Corporate.
I think ultimately, that M.O.P. is out for himself, even over or against the needs of Corporate. That's earned him some fans back, but the others can't appreciate that attitude!
*Poison*
And finally, representing The Story! From Belfast, Northern Ireland, weighing in at 260 pounds. He is the WWCF Inter-Forum Champion... Above Average!
The Inter-Forum Champion gets mostly cheers as he makes his way to the ring calmly.
Above Average looks real focused here, Tim!
Yeah, Jess. I haven't seen the champ look this determined in a long time. This could be his toughest defense yet!
The bell rings and the three opponents have a mutual staredown, each waiting for the other to make the first move. M.O.P. is the one who makes the first attack as he gets up in Above Average's face, followed by slapping him across the face. This sets Above Average off, much to the delight of the fans, as he attacks M.O.P. with a flurry of punches, culminating with a European Uppercut. The uppercut knocks M.O.P. off his feet and Aaron Enigma takes advantage of the situation by grappling Above Average and executing a vertical suplex. He goes for a quick pinfall.
1...
Above Average is able to power out of the pinfall attempt easily. M.O.P. is back on his feet, grabs Enigma, and gives him a stiff Knife Edge Chop across the chest. He gives a couple more, with the fans going "WOOOOOOO!" with each one. He and Above Average team up on Aaron Enigma, Irish Whipping him into the ropes and then giving him a doubled vertical suplex on the rebound. M.O.P. tries to sneak a pin in, but Above Average breaks it up before the ref can even count "one." He hits M.O.P. with a lariat and puts him in a neck vice. Despite being in great pain, M.O.P. is able to reach the ropes with a free hand. But Above Average doesn't let go! The referee yells at Double A to break the hold and starts counting.
"1!"
"2!"
"3!"
Above Average breaks the hold and raises his arms in the air just as the ref is about to shout four.
Well, that's something I wouldn't expect out of the champion.
Looks like Double A's developing something of a mean streak here!
All of a sudden Aaron Enigma comes out of nowhere to hit his stablemate with a vicious clothesline! He stomps him a few times on the ground than picks him up and whips him into the corner. He runs straight into the Inter-Forum Champion with a running knee that hits him right in the chest, slumping Above Average into the corner. M.O.P. gets back up and looks at Aaron Enigma. The two nod at each other and start teaming up on Above Average. They take turns stomping him before Aaron sits the Champ on the top turnbuckle. The Detective then delivers a devastating Superplex that looks like it hurts him almost as much as it hurts his opponent. M.O.P. takes advantage and climbs up the same turnbuckle, giving Above Average a Double Elbow Drop from the top rope. While Aaron Enigma's still recovering, M.O.P. rolls over Double A's body and goes for a pin.
1...
2...
NEW CHAMPION! NEW CHAMPION!
Above Average kicks out as M.O.P. argues with the ref about it being a slowcount. But Aaron Enigma catches M.O.P. off guard! He goes for a roll-up.
1...
2...
M.O.P.'s able to kick out right after 2.
No one's playing favorites here tonight, folks! It's every man for himself as they all vie for the Inter-Forum Championship on the line!
Aaron gets to his feet and smiles and M.O.P. before shrugging. M.O.P. smirks back, knowing the match is every man for himself, and the two men trade punches. However, before one of them can get the advantage, Above Average shows up and clotheslines both men, sending them down. He pushes M.O.P. out of the ring and locks a vicious crossface on Aaron. Aaron slowly makes his way to the ropes, thrashing in the hold attempting to get out. He makes it to the ropes and Above Average breaks the hold. However as he goes to pick Aaron up, Aaron pulls his arm and throws him through the second rope and onto the floor. Aaron gets to his feet and looks around him. He quickly ducks a clothesline from M.O.P. and on the rebound catches him with a DDT goes for a pin.
1...
2...
M.O.P. gets his shoulder up!
Aaron picks up M.O.P. and signals for the Brilliant Deduction, however before he can hit it, Above Average comes from behind and clubs his upper back. He throws Aaron into the ropes and hits M.O.P. with a vertical suplex. He then runs at Aaron, hoping to hit a corner splash. Aaron catches him in midair though and runs towards the fallen M.O.P. He stops right next to the downed M.O.P. and delivers a huge STO to Above Average, planting him on M.O.P. He goes for the pin on Above Average.
1...
2...
Above Average just gets his shoulder up!
Aaron frantically dives to pin M.O.P.
1...
2...
M.O.P. also kicks out!
Aaron stands up and looks visibly frustrated. He was sure he just had the match won but it wasn't true.
Aaron Enigma was a MILLISECOND away from being the new Inter-Forum Championship!
He picks up Above Average and throws him into the corner. He then picks up M.O.P. and throws him into Above Average. The two lean seemingly lifeless in the corner as Aaron charges at them for a vicious spear. However both men jump at the last second and Aaron's shoulder hits the ring post. He grabs his shoulder in pain and turns around to be met by M.O.P. He quickly hits a jumping armbreaker on Aaron and locks in a fujiwara armbar. Above Average quickly breaks it up before throwing M.O.P. into the corner. He lifts up Aaron and hits a vicious shoulderbreaker on him before going for the pin.
1...
2...
Aaron barely gets his foot under the bottom rope!
We have a real slobberknocker going here tonight! What a hellacious showing we're seeing from all three competitors!
You said it, Gorilla! All three men are putting everything on the line to win the Inter-Forum Championship!
Above Average lifts Aaron up and backs up for a Superkick. However M.O.P. bursts from the corner with a huge big boot and takes Above Average down. He goes after Aaron and attempts the Corporate Driver but Aaron is able to counter it. Aaron delivers a big enziguri before setting up M.O.P. for Extreme Interrogation. He hits the Reverse STO and locks it in. M.O.P. writhes, attempting to escape the hold. He looks just about to tap but Above Average breaks it up. Aaron stands up and looks at Above Average. The two lock up and exchange punches. Above Average gets the better of Aaron and throws him into the ropes. However as he sets up for a back body drop. Aaron delivers a big kick to his sternum, sending Above Average staggering back a bit. Aaron uses this advantage to hit an STO, but then he grabs his shoulder in pain due to the events earlier. He can't get to the pin. M.O.P. takes advantage and dives on to Above Average.
1...
2...
Above Average just kicks out as the ref's hand was almost at the canvas!
What's with the refereeing this match?! That's the third time tonight M.O.P. should've been crowned the new Inter-Forum Champion! If I were Mr. D-Day Dave and Mr. Sam, I'd launch an inquiry into the neutrality of the referees!
Settle down, King! The refereeing's been entirely fair tonight!
M.O.P. looks at the ref and begins to scream at him, accusing him of a slow count. However Aaron makes it to his feet and comes from behind M.O.P. He spins him around and hits a vicious right hand. M.O.P. staggers back to the corner. Aaron moves to attack him, but M.O.P. reverses it and throws Aaron into the corner. He starts to attack Aaron with a flurry of fists. Aaron manages to block a couple but he gets with a lot of them. Before M.O.P. can capitalize though, Above Average comes from behind with a big lariat. Aaron pushes M.O.P. off him and hits a big DDT on him. He then lifts M.O.P. and Above Average hits him with a Superkick, sending M.O.P. sprawling back to the ropes. Above Average motions for Aaron to hit him out of the ring so that Aaron and himself could fight 1 on 1. Aaron contemplates it for a second before complying and sending M.O.P. over the top rope. However Aaron turns around and is met by a Superkick from Above Average who then goes for the pin.
1...
2...
3!
Your winner by pinfall and STILL the WWCF Inter-Forum Champion... ABOVE AVERAGE!
What an amazing match we just witnessed! Double A retains his title, pinning his own stablemate to do so!
Like you said, there were no friends in that ring. Above Average did what he needed to do to win.
Above Average raises the championship belt in victory before leaving the ring. Outside of the ring, M.O.P. is just getting to his feet, hand on his forehead in disappointment that the match is over. Inside the ring, Aaron Enigma is recovering from Above Average's superkick, realizing that his time with The Story is now over and his fellow stablemate was the one to make sure of it.
Well, up next is the Guerrilla Rumble! 28 Superstars will fight it out in an all weapons legal battle royal!
And the winner will move on to face the WWCF World Champion at GookerMania II!
Before we have that match, let‘s listen to some prerecorded comments from some of the participants.
"The Guerrilla Rumble is here! Tonight, Tyfo takes the spot that is so rightfully his. 27 other men will try and 27 other men will fail. Only one can be left standing. Rumble in the Jungle is the train tracks, and tonight The Corporate Pain Train is rolling through! Whether you’re Above Average, Stryker, the Duck, or even one of my Corporate brothers. You step in front of me tonight *holds up lead pipe* and you won't be walking away."
We see Headbanger Man backstage.
I guess its fair to say that I am something of a longshot to win this Rumble tonight. But sometimes when nobody gives you a chance, it serves as motivation to give the performance of your life, which is what I plan to do tonight. Bear in mind the ring will be full of guys who have already competed once, and I will make sure that I take advantage of that situations, and ensure that it'll be lights out and exit stage left for anybody who crosses me.
My career takes a new path tonight. My appetite for destruction is larger than ever, and what better way to sate it then by beating the hell out of the WWCF roster?
Jonathan Michaels is holding the Tack Chair, making small talk with the cameraman.
Dude, sorry about the other day, I got a little excited, just send me the dentist bill.
The cameraman signals Jonathan that he is on.
Tonight, I go to that ring with one purpose, to hurt Evil M and anyone else that gets in my way.
This isn't just about title shots or revenge, Tonight I prove that I am ready to be one of, if not THE top dog around here.
Because I'm not afraid of anything, especially not success.
And, Cut.
*From The Boiler Room*
At last, a match for me, BRB, to revel in!
When I emerge from this hell hole, I will climb into the squared circle, with my big, massive pipe wrench in hand, ready to knock everyone over the top rope as I brawl MY way to the World Title!
And I also have a challenge for you, Aaron Enigma!
If you can eliminate me, you get another clue, but if I eliminate YOU, then I take this clue, engulf it in flames, and chuck it right in YOUR face!
Hahahaha!
27 opponents. Or is 27 victims? Should Mr. Dave have reserved 27 hospital beds? Or maybe just one? Am I talking in riddles? Are you confused yet?
Tonight, it’s all about destiny. For one man, his destiny is the main event of GookerMania. For another, his destiny may be to show he’s got what it takes. Another’s might be to settle an old score. And yet another, he might only be in it to hurt people. Which are you? And which am I?
Jonathan Michaels. I know what YOUR destiny is. I see a battered, bloody, injured, tortured shell of a man, laying on the mat, begging for mercy. Begging to be thrown out of the ring, just so the torture will end. But there will be no mercy, for mercy is not what this match is about. It’s about destiny. But who’s destiny is it? Is it yours? Or is it… mine?
Only time will tell. One thing is for certain, however. NOTHING is for certain!
*Evil laugh*
The Guerrilla Rumble is my type of match. Win, lose, it’s all the same. It’s all about the body count with me. Be warned everyone. The Mask is off. Now, the REAL Evil begins!
*Evil laugh*
Tonight's the Night......CageKing will make a difference......It is my moment, my destiny.....
The Resistance is seen backstage.
Guerilla Rumble.
The perfect opportunity to showcase my talents. I won't be laughed at after tonight.
Tonight Resistance will not be futile, and in the Rumble I will STRYKE YOU OUT!
*In the back*
Fred G. Neric: Amigo, just a few days ag....
Amigo: *Cuts him off by taking the Mic out of his hands, and literally kicks him in the ass of the screen and picks up Neric's cue card*
*Reads* "You returned to the ring, and horrifically injured Stevierichardsfan Babyface and Eli, putting both on the injured shelf." Now, in your second match back, you find yourself in the Guerrilla Rumble. What are your thoughts"? Christ, can't interviewers think for themselves anymore? Well, myself, I plan to use this match as the perfect opportunity to cause chaos. It's a bunch of guys in the ring with weapons. I don't want to win, but what I want to do is cause controversy and disorder, and hopefully, in such a chaotic environment, I can unleash weapon shots on everybody, and even if I'm eliminated, cause others to be eliminated, and attack others that got tossed out, just for fun. That's what I plan to do.
*Hits the camera with a Kendo Stick, as he leaves*
Guerrilla Rumble
Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for the Guerrilla Rumble! The rules of this match are as follows. All 28 Superstars will start the match in the ring. Each Superstar may bring a weapon of their choosing to the ring with them. Elimination occurs when a Superstar is thrown over the top rope, with both feet hitting the floor. When a Superstar is eliminated, he may remain at ringside, but he may not get up on the ring apron.
Welcome to the Jungle plays, as the participants make their way to the ring, some looking very fatigued and selling injuries from earlier matches.
Introducing the participants.
Cthulhu!
Cthulhu, still covered in blood, and wearing the mask, enters, carrying his guitar.
Evil M!
Evil M enters, carrying an ironing board
Tyfo!
Tyfo enters carrying a lead pipe.
Koda!
As Koda enters, he points to his jacket pocket and giggles as he pulls out a pair of brass knucks.
Inter-Forum Champion Above Average!
Above Average rides out on a forklift.
Legion!
Legion enters, carrying a wooden staff.
Starshine!
Starshine enters, carrying a silver steel chair.
Doley!
Doley enters, carrying a table.
King Motor-Colt!
A blood soaked Motor-Colt enters, carrying his King of WrestleCrap scepter.
The General of the Monkey Army!
The General enters, with Bingo the Monkey on his shoulder, eating a banana.
Square!
Square enters, carrying a half-pole, but still favoring his back.
M.O.P.!
M.O.P. enters, carrying a Metal Route 17 Highway Sign.
The Amazing Brahma Bull!
Brahma Bull enters, wearing obviously loaded kneepads.
Viva Los Bio Dome!
Viva enters, carrying a barbed wire board.
Head Detective Aaron Enigma!
Aaron enters, carrying his magnifying glass.
Jonathan Michaels!
Jonathan enters, carrying his trusty tack chair.
The Headbanger Man!
Headbanger Man enters, carrying a cowbell.
Relegate Hunter!
Relegate Hunter enters, carrying a broomstick.
The Boiler Room Brawler!
Boiler Room Brawler enters, carrying his trusty pipe wrench.
The Pushkilla!
The Pushkilla enters, wearing a black glove wrapped in barbed wire.
Cageking!
Cageking enters, with barbed wire wrapped around his brass knuckles.
Whitey “Daddy Phat Sax” Fats!
Whitey enters carrying a barbed wire covered tire iron.
KCB!
KCB enters, carrying a table.
Buck Futter!
Buck enters, carrying a chain.
Heatz!!1 Champion “Champagne” Jay Carroll!
Jay Carroll enters, carrying a champagne glass.
Stryker Dark Silence!
Stryker enters, carrying a barbed wire board.
Amigo!
Amigo enters, carrying a trash can full of plunder, most notably, two steel pipes and a Blue Box. He is also wearing UFC gloves with thumbtacks glued to them, with chain wrapped around his torso.
And MiLo Duck!
MiLo Duck enters, carrying a barbed wire baseball bat.
Once MiLo steps through the ropes, the bell rings and the match begins. Everyone attacks each other at once, with weapons and bodies flying all over the ring. MiLo and Amigo go at it in one corner, while M.O.P. and Aaron pick up where they left off earlier. Evil M swings the ironing board around, hitting anything(or anyone) that moves. Viva and Stryker doubleteam KCB with the boards. Above Average and Motor-Colt work as a team against Boiler Room Brawler, while Cthulhu and Starshine do likewise against Whitey Fats. Headbanger Man and Jonathan Michaels trade punches, as The General creeps around, looking for any openings. Koda holds Jay Carroll in place for Legion, but as he charges, Carroll moves, and Legion accidentally clothesline’s his partner over the top rope.
Koda has been eliminated!
Koda remains at ringside, as Starshine clubs Legion from behind. The Tag Team Champion then jumps on Legion’s back, but the demonic one leans over the top rope, allowing Koda to reach up and pull Starshine down.
Starshine has been eliminated!
On the outside, Starshine slap’s Koda. Koda responds by spitting his Joker Venom in Starshine’s face. Starshine falls to the floor, laughing uncontrollably. Back in the ring, Relegate Hunter battles Buck Futter. Hunter hit’s some punches and then goes for a clothesline, but Square clock’s him from behind with the half-pole and dumps his brother to the floor.
Relegate Hunter has been eliminated!
Square looks around, then nails Futter with the pole. The fans cheer as Futter stumbles backwards, and falls over the top rope.
Buck Futter has been eliminated!
Evil M and Motor-Colt battle it out, while MiLo and Cthulhu trade punches. Pushkilla works over Jay Carroll, while Legion picks up KCB and launches him over the top rope.
KCB has been eliminated!
Boiler Room Brawler and Cthulhu huddle in the corner, working out a strategy. Meanwhile, Aaron Enigma and Whitey Fats trade punches. As Whitey knocks Aaron to the mat, BRB and Cthulhu rush him, but Whitey clock’s Cthulhu with the tire iron. BRB smacks Whitey across the face with his pipe wrench, knocking him THROUGH the ropes. Aaron comes up behind The Brawler and dumps him to the floor.
The Boiler Room Brawler has been eliminated!
Doley and Pushkilla fight near the ropes, as Carroll sits in the corner, watching everyone else go at it. Amigo pulls out one of the steel pipes and cracks Square over the head with it. Above Average tries to rush Amigo, but is met with a steel pipe shot as well. Cageking hammers The General with his knucks, but Carroll sneaks up behind him and dumps him to the floor.
Cageking has been eliminated!
Pushkilla shoves Doley up against the ropes and charges, but Doley back drops him over the top, but Pushkilla lands on the ring apron. Doley turns around, and Pushkilla pulls him over the top. The two trade punches on the apron, as Carroll charges. Pushkila side steps him, but Doley takes the hit full on and falls to the floor.
Doley has been eliminated!
Pushkilla reenters the ring, as Whitey and BRB trade punches on the outside. In the ring, Colt and Aaron work together against Tyfo, while Amigo hit’s Headbanger Man with his blue box and tosses him out.
Headbanger Man has been eliminated!
Square hammers M.O.P with the half-pole, while Cthulhu and Above Average slug it out. Amigo comes up behind Square and nails him with knee to the back of the head. Square drops to the mat. Amigo hit’s the kneepad, revealing that it’s loaded. Amigo picks up Square and drops him over the top rope.
Square has been eliminated!
Whitey rolls back in and is immediately attacked by Evil M. As the two fight it out, Brahma Bull and Pushkilla trade holds, while Legion and Tyfo fight it out. Cthulhu DDT’s Stryker, but turns into a bat shot from MiLo. Cthulhu staggers towards the ropes, just as Square pulls the rope down to pull himself up. Cthulhu stumbles over the top and to the floor.
Cthulhu has been eliminated!
Square and Cthulhu brawl on the outside and fight there way up the ramp and to the back. Brahma Bull and Jay Carroll doubleteam Pushkilla, but as Bull tries to pull Pushkilla over, Carroll smashes his champagne glass over Bull’s head and dumps him.
Brahma Bull has been eliminated!
Stryker and Viva gang up on Evil M in the corner, but the Evil One fights them off using the ironing board. Legion knocks The General aside as the two big men come face to face. Legion and Evil trade punches, but Carroll tries to interfere. The two big men briefly work together to beat down the Heatz!!1 Champion, before resuming their war. The two attempt to take each other off their feet with clotheslines, but neither man goes down. Legion goes for a shoulder tackle, but Evil M steps aside and Legion crashes to the mat. Evil M pull him up and delivers a vicious throat thrust, knocking Legion into the ropes. Jay Carroll quickly runs over and knocks Legion over the top.
Legion has been eliminated!
Jay Carroll celebrates his elimination but turns around to face Evil M. Jay slap’s Evil M across the face and gloats about how much smarter he is than everyone else in the ring. As Jay poses for the crowd, he doesn’t notice everyone still in the match surrounding him, as well as those who were eliminated circling the ring. Jay turns and bumps into Above Average. Carroll backs up, only to bump into MiLo Duck. Carroll keeps looking for an escape, only to bump into one opponent after another. Suddenly, everyone converges on him at once. Amigo, Evil M, Stryker, Viva, Tyfo, AA, Colt, Michaels, Whitey, and MiLo lift Carroll up and toss him towards the ropes. Carroll manages to grip the rope and hold on. He points to his head, indicating he outsmarted everyone, but as he showboats, Bull pulls him down off the apron.
Champagne Jay Carroll has been eliminated!
The crowd cheers as Buck Futter, KCB, Headbanger Man, Cageking, Doley, and Relegate Hunter lift up the Heatz!!1 Champion and carry him backstage. Back in the ring, the match has resumed. Whitey and The General brawl in one corner, while Above Average and MiLo go at it in another corner. Jonathan Michaels and Amigo trade blows, but Evil M wallops Jonathan from behind with the ironing board. Amigo hit’s Michaels with a steel pipe, then he and Evil M dump Michaels to the floor.
Jonathan Michaels has been eliminated!
Evil M turns and tries to dump Amigo out, but Amigo drops to the mat and clings to the bottom rope. Evil stomps Amigo a few times, but the masked man sit’s up and headbutt’s Evil M below the belt. The Evil One immediately drops to the mat. Whitey tries to lift Evil up and eliminate him, but Tinker the Monkey jumps on Whitey. As Whitey tries to get the monkey off his back, The General charges. Whitey picks up Tinker and tosses her at the General. As the General catches her, Whitey spears the General, knocking him back against the ropes. Stryker and Viva tip him over the top.
The General of the Monkey Army has been eliminated!
The remaining Superstars all look around at each other and some try to form partnerships. Above Average and Motor-Colt team up, as do Stryker and Viva, and Tyfo and M.O.P. Whitey offers a handshake to Pushkilla, who accepts it. Evil M and Amigo back up in separate corners, neither willing to, or feeling they need to, form an alliance, while Aaron looks around, wondering who to go after first. MiLo, meanwhile charges at Tyfo, restarting the fight once again. At ringside, Boiler Room Brawler stalks around with his pipe wrench, looking for a victim, while Legion and Koda wait for anyone to end up near their corner. In the ring, MiLo and Tyfo fight it out, while Above Average exit’s the ring. Motor-Colt and Whitey trade punches, while Amigo sneaks around the ring, taking cheapshots at anyone he can. Pushkilla tries going toe to toe with Evil M, who knocks him back with brute strength. Pushkilla get’s right back to his feet and charges Evil M again, but once again the monster throws him to the mat. On the outside, Above Average and Cthulhu trade punches, while Square lurks around. Back in the ring, Evil chokes Pushkilla in the ropes, but Pushkilla fights back with several kicks to the midsection, finally forcing Evil to release the hold. Pushkilla stays on Evil with a flurry of punches, kicks, and elbows. With Evil rocked back, Pushkilla locks in a guillotine choke. Evil starts fading, and Pushkilla slowly moves him towards the ropes. However, Pushkilla makes a rookie mistake by releasing the hold and trading punches with M.O.P. Pushkilla knocks M.O.P. back and tries to lift Evil over the top rope, but Evil stops him, and chokeslam’s him over the top rope.
Pushkilla has been eliminated!
The fans applaud Pushkilla’s efforts as he tries to recover on the outside. Meanwhile, AA rams Cthulhu’s head against the forklift and commandeers the vehicle. AA drives it right up to the ring and exits it. Koda and Legion quickly intercept the Inter-Forum Champion and roll him back in the ring. Viva goes after AA immediately, but Koda and Legion reach up and pull Viva over the top rope.
Viva Los Bio Dome has been eliminated!
Whitey Fats and Tyfo exchange blows center ring, as BRB positions himself near the corner. Tyfo tosses Whitey across the ring, where BRB is waiting to strike with his pipe wrench. As Whitey get’s to his knees, BRB swings and smashes Whitey right in the face. Square tackles BRB and the two brawl, while Tyfo tosses Whitey over the top rope.
Whitey Fats has been eliminated!
MiLo and Colt trade punches while Tyfo turns his attention to Amigo. Evil M and Stryker fight it out, as Above Average and M.O.P. exchange blows. Aaron Enigma tries to help AA against M.O.P., but both men stop their fight briefly to toss Aaron aside. Colt hit’s the Story on Page One on MiLo, while AA takes M.O.P. out with the Superkick. The two partners come face to face. After a brief exchange of words, they agree to work together, but as Colt turns around, AA grabs him and tosses him out!
King Motor-Colt has been eliminated!
MiLo and Stryker look at one another before bumping fists. The two then charge at Evil M and take turns hammering the big man with their respective weapons. MiLo reaches into his tights and pulls out a lighter, which he uses to set the bat on FIRE!!! MiLo crack’s Evil across the back, causing the big man to yell out in pain. Meanwhile, AA and Aaron Enigma trade punches, as Amigo pulls a cookie cutter out of the trashcan. The former commissioner grabs M.O.P. from behind and grinds the cookie cutter into his forehead. Tyfo grabs Amigo from behind and pulls him off. Tyfo whips Amigo into the ropes. As he bounces back, Tyfo dropkick’s him, knocking him backwards. M.O.P. pops up and dropkick’s Amigo as well, sending him over the top rope!
Amigo has been eliminated!
Amigo rolls to his feet and grabs a discarded lead pipe. He reaches through the ropes and slams the pipe against MiLo Duck’s leg. Amigo then pulls MiLo under the ropes to the floor. Amigo drags MiLo over to the table that was brought out earlier. The two fight near the table, each trying to drive the other through it. Amigo pulls MiLo up on the table and goes for the Tombstone Piledriver, but MiLo slips free and reverse DDT‘s Amigo through the table! The two fight on the floor, and Amigo rams MiLo’s head into the ringpost before tossing him back in. M.O.P. and Tyfo quickly swoop in and dump MiLo over the top.
MiLo Duck has been eliminated!
Stryker sees this and goes after both men, but the numbers game is too much, and Tyfo and M.O.P., assisted by Amigo, dump Stryker to the floor.
Stryker Dark Silence has been eliminated!
On the outside, recovered, and very angry MiLo attacks Amigo with his baseball bat. After knocking Amigo to the floor, MiLo pulls out a lighter and sets the baseball bat ON FIRE!!! MiLo attacks Amigo with the now flaming baseball bat, and the two brawl to the back. Meanwhile Cthulhu and Starshine(who has recovered from the Joker Venom) pounce on Stryker, only for Viva to make the save. The Tag Team Champions try to escape through the crowd, only for Legion and Koda to intercept them. Koda sprays Starshine with more Venom, causing another laughing fit. Cthulhu ducks between the contenders and runs. Legion and Koda chase him through the crowd. Meanwhile, Viva grabs the still-laughing Starshine and hit’s the Bio-DOME on him. In the ring, Evil M chokeslam’s Above Average, who rolls to the outside. Aaron Enigma tries to fight the big man, but is overwhelmed. Tyfo and M.O.P. doubleteam Evil and back him against the ropes, but Evil kicks them both back. Jonathan Michaels suddenly pulls down the top rope, and Evil M falls to the floor.
Evil M has been eliminated!
Jonathan starts firing away with chairshots, using his tack chair. Evil M staggers up the ramp, trying to fend off the blows, as Jonathan gives chase. In the ring, it’s down to Tyfo, M.O.P., Aaron Enigma, and Above Average, who has crawled back in. M.O.P. and AA pair off, as do Tyfo and Aaron. Tyfo hammers away on Aaron with his lead pipe, while M.O.P. rocks AA with the Route 17 highway sign. On the outside, Motor-Colt and The Boiler Room Brawler watch on, with Brawler looking for any opportunity to lend Tyfo or M.O.P. a hand. Tyfo and M.O.P. continue to lay the hurt on AA and Aaron, and back them up in opposite corners. They go to whip the former partners into one another, but AA and Aaron reverse it, causing Tyfo and M.O.P. to collide! AA pounces on Tyfo, while Aaron drags M.O.P. towards the ropes. The bitter enemies brawl near the ropes, both trying to get the other off balance. Tyfo is able to knock AA out of his way and charges at Aaron. Aaron sees him coming and moves, causing Tyfo to slam in to M.O.P., knocking him over the top rope!
M.O.P. has been eliminated!
M.O.P. angrily slaps the floor and screams at Tyfo for hitting him. Tyfo merely shrugs, before going to work on Aaron. AA rejoins the fight, attacking both men with the discarded trashcan from earlier. Aaron and Tyfo fend off AA, but Aaron turns and cracks his magnifying glass over Tyfo’s head, knocking him to the mat. Aaron and AA go at it, with Aaron successfully tossing Above Average over the top rope. However, Aaron doesn’t see AA manage to get one foot on the forklift, and shimmies his way inside, saving him from elimination. Aaron turns his attention to Tyfo, who has gotten back to his feet. The two trade punches and weapon shots, with neither gaining an advantage. Tyfo sends Aaron into the ropes, but Aaron comes back at him with a flying shoulder tackle! Aaron goes to run the ropes again, but M.O.P. grabs his foot, tripping him. Aaron turns to yell at M.O.P., only to get whacked across the face by Boiler Room Brawler and his pipe wrench. M.O.P. and Brawler reach up and pull Aaron over the top rope, and Tyfo gives him a final push out.
Aaron Enigma has been eliminated!
Tyfo celebrates, thinking he won the match, but as he turns around, AA come flying off the top of the forklift and onto Tyfo! AA hammers Tyfo with lefts and rights, but the “Corporate Pain Train” shoves the Inter-Forum Champion off of him. AA is up, but Tyfo meets him with a shot to the head using M.O.P.’s highway sign. Tyfo grabs AA by the hair and tosses him over the top rope, but AA hangs on, with one foot dangling above the floor. As Tyfo celebrates, AA “skin’s the cat” and returns to the ring. Tyfo hears the crowd cheering and turns around, only to be met with a Superkick! Tyfo goes down like a ton of bricks! AA pulls Tyfo up and hit’s a second Superkick, sending the self-proclaimed MVP over the top rope!
Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the Guerilla Rumble, ABOVE AVERAGE!!!!
The crowd goes insane as Motor-Colt enters the ring to congratulate his friend. Above Average however, acts like Colt’s not there and celebrates, holding up his Inter-Forum belt and pointing to himself, while mouthing, “I’M THE BEST!” Colt tries to get AA’s attention, but finally gives up and leaves, looking a little disappointed, though at the top of the ramp, Colt stops and applauds the IF Champion, before heading through the curtain.
Unbelievable, Jess!
Gorilla, that was what I call a rumble!
Congratulations go out to Above Average, who will now go on to GookerMania to challenge for the WWCF World Championship.
But the question is, who will be the World Champion at GookerMania?!
Well we’re about to find out! It’s Seth Drakin V. Jazzman, it’s title V. title, it’s our main event, and it’s next!
Title V. Title Match: Champion of Honor Jazzman V. WWCF World Champion Seth Drakin
Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is the double title match for the WWCF World Title and The Championship of Honor. This matches a 90 minute time limit and both superstars in this match have agreed it would be under Rules of Honor. Introducing first, the Champion of Honor, hailing from Fulton, NY and weighing 206 pounds... JAZZMAN!!
Jazzman steps out onto the stage as Lilac Lane rings throughout the Parts Unknown arena
And his opponent, he is the WWCF World Heavyweight Champion... 'THE PUPPET MASTER' SETH DRAKIN!!!
Unicron Medley plays as boos rain down as the World Champion appears before the crowd. Seth takes his time getting to the ring, and poses for the fans, who respond with more jeers. He removes the world title, gives it to the official, who holds both the Title of Honor and the World Title in the air and calls for the bell
The two men walk to the center of the ring where Jazzman offers a handshake, which Seth accepts. The two men then tie up and begin displaying their chain wrestling skills. Headlocks are transitioned into Hammerlocks, and counters fly quick and loose as both Jazzman and Seth attempt to prove that they're the better technical wrestler.
That's just mat wrestling at its best Jesse!
Eventually Seth uses his size to get the upper hand and backs Jazzman into a corner for a measured elbow to the side of the head. He follows up with some kicks in the gut and a chop for good measure before the ref backs Seth out of the corner. Drakin charges back in with a shoulder to the stomach and begins to choke Jazzman, letting go only when the official reaches 4.
Hey Gorilla look at the stage! It's team Seth!
The fans begin to crane their necks in the direction of the stage where Noman, Mr. E, and U.N. Owen step out onto the stage to watch the match.
Meanwhile in the ring Seth sets Jazzman off the ropes. Seth leaps over Jazzman who comes back of the ropes with a clothesline to knock Seth down. He drops down to cover, but gets only a 1 count. Jazzman puts Seth in a chinlock, which the larger man easily powers out of and hits a belly-to-back suplex and both men are down!
Now look at the stage Gorilla!
The crowd again looks to the stage as more than half of the locker room has poured out onto the stage to watch the match and Seth's flunkies.
Jazzman is the first to his feet and hits Seth with a reverse bodyslam. He then goes to the second rope and looks for the elbow drop, which doesn't connect and again both men are down again.
The ref begins the count but Seth stops it by getting to his feet at 6 and throws Jazzman out of the ring. Seth takes Jazzman over to the steps and sets up for the DDT.
By god! That's another human being... don't do it Drakin!
The thud of a skull hitting the steal steps draws the crowd to a hush as Jazzman appears to be knocked unconscious. Seth coolly rolls back into the ring and tells the ref to count Jazzman out. The ref beings the slow count as the wrestlers on the ramp attempt to get the fans behind Jazzman. He begins stirring at 7 as the crowd cheers him on! the ref continues to count 8...9...1... Jazzman rolls into the ring at the last possible second!
Wow Gorilla, unbelievable heart there by Jazzman!
The good will is short lived though as Seth picks up Jazzman and sends him off the ropes. But Jazzman comes back and locks in Mercy, Mercy, Mercy!
Jesse! That's the move that gave Jazzman his first title victory; can it bring him the world title tonight?
Drakin struggles toward the ropes, but can't reach to get it as Jazzman drags Seth back to the center of the ring! The crowd beings to rhythmically chant "Tap, Tap, Tap" as Seth continues to squirm underneath the armbar of pressure of Jazzman's hold. Seth again wriggles his way to the rope and is able to get his leg there. The referee is able to get Jazzman off of Seth Drakin, but the camera notices what the referee and Jazzman don’t notice; Seth Drakin getting a roll of quarters from under his tights.
Wait Gorilla, what did Seth just get from under his tights?
Looks like a roll of quarters King! This isn't right!!!!
Seth and Jazzman reach their feet and go for a handshake. The two shake hands and Seth transfers the quarters to Jazzman and then slaps him afterwards. In anger, Jazzman punches Seth without realizing he has the quarters in his hand. Seth goes down and tells the official to check Jazzman's hands. He does and sees Jazzman holding the roll of quarters and calls for the bell as Seth smiles.
Ladies and gentlemen, you winner as a result of a disqualification and the NEW Champion of Honor SETH DRAKIN!!
What a travesty we just saw.
Gorilla...I may not be the biggest fan of Seth Drakin, but what he did was smart and he may have played Jazzman like a puppet.
Seth Drakin smiles as he grabs both the World Title and the Championship of Honor, but that smile disappears as he notices several WWCF superstars guarding the entrance. “Money Money” plays and out comes the owner of WWCF, Mr. D-Day Dave. He has a microphone with him and begins to speak.
Seth, did you really think you were going to get away with that?
Seth smiles and nods while mouthing the word “Yes.
Well Seth, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is you are the new Champion of Honor. But the bad news is that the match you just had was only the first of two matches and it was just for the Championship of Honor. Now it is time for the second match and that match will be for the World Heavyweight Championship.
The crowd erupts as Seth is pissed at hearing this and signals that he is done for the night.
Seth, I don’t think you have noticed, but there are superstars here blocking this exit. I would also like you to look at the Craptron.
The Craptron shows other superstars blocking every other exit in the arena.
So Seth, I am going to give you two options. You can either go back in that ring and begin this second match, or you can try to escape and at that point, I am pretty sure that every one of these superstars will be glad to forcefully bring your ass back to that ring. However if you choose the latter, I cannot guarantee that you will be back in that ring unharmed because let’s face it, you have pissed a lot of people off.
Seth tremors in anger, but he decides to go back to the ring and tries to charge at Jazzman, but Jazzman meets him with a body slam as the referee decides to ring the bell. Seth Drakin holds his back in pain. Jazzman grabs Seth and Irish whips Seth into the ropes. Seth tries to counter with a clothesline, but Jazzman ducks and it hits the referee which knocks him completely out.
Well, the referee is knocked out.
I know, and I have a feeling that bad things can only come out of this.
Seth turns around and is hit with the Such Sweet Thunder. Jazzman tries to go for the pin and should get the victory, but the referee has been completely knocked out.
1…..2…..3….Jazzman should be the world champion.
But the referee is down and he is the only one who can make the 3 count.
Jazzman goes to revive the referee, but Seth crawls over and gives his opponent the low blow. Seth Drakin then delivers the Tale’s End, but sees that the referee is out and smiles. Mr. E and U.N. Owen are able to break away from the other superstars and attempt to run towards the ring. However, U.N. Owen suddenly tackles Mr. E and lays him out. U.N. Owen removes his mask and the revelation shocks Seth while the fans erupt in a standing ovation.
Oh My God, Gorilla….It’s Little Naitch!!!
The former champion has returned to make sure Seth Drakin plays fair.
Seth Drakin goes to the turnbuckle and yells at Little Naitch for getting involved. However, Seth doesn’t realize that Jazzman is getting up. Little Naitch then helps the other referee to the back while a new referee comes down to the ring. Jazzman gets up and hits Seth Drakin with the Takin’ The A Train. Jazzman falls over on top of Seth Drakin and the referee makes the pin.
1…….
2……
3!!!!
The winner of this match …..and NEW World Heavyweight Champion……………JAZZMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seth Drakin is taken out of the ring by Noman and Mr. E. Mr. E also has the Championship of Honor with him as they take Seth Drakin out to the back. The superstars allow the bane of a lot of superstars’ existence and his cronies to the back as Little Naitch grabs the world title. He enters the ring and hands the belt to Jazzman who is completely coming too. He realizes he just won the world title and is ecstatic. He raises the title high and goes towards his family, who is at the ring. He celebrates as the crowd is happy to see an up-and-comer be finally at the top of the mountain.
Well Jessie, a brand new day has come up from the ashes of this nightmare that we have been through the last month as this young man has crawled through adversity and betrayal to become the New World Heavyweight Champion.
Normally I would say that a lot of people were out to get the loser, but Seth definitely deserved all of it.
For once, I will actually agree with you. Seth has made an enemy out of a lot of people and they just got what they wanted. All of them joined the crowd in seeing Seth Drakin get his comeuppance for his actions.
However, I have a feeling Seth Drakin will not take this lying down.
That he will not.
For Jessie, myself, and all of WWCF; we say goodnight.
Whew! Credits for this show go to:
Jay Carroll, Evil M, Motor-Colt, Starshine, Aaron Enigma, Above Average, M.O.P., Tyfo, Headbanger Man, Jonathan Michaels, The Boiler Room Brawler, Cageking, Viva Los Bio Dome, Stryker, Amigo, Seth Drakin, and Jazzman.
Thank you to everyone who voted, offered suggestions for matches and spots, and who overall helped make this show as good as it was. This one was truly a team effort.
Now onward to GookerMania!
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