Monday Niteraw - February 2, 2009

Monday Niteraw
February 2, 2009

2 Out Of 3 Falls WorkRate Non-Title Match
Above Average
VS
Supersmark

Muffer – The following contest is a 2 out of 3 falls match. Introducing first,
(Dirty Deeds by AC/DC)
At the height of 6’5, weighing in at 220 lbs. From Ann Arbor, Michigan. SUPERSMARK!
(Supersmark makes his way down to the ring carrying his signature laptop with him)
Muffer – And his opponent;
(The Poison – Prodigy)
At the height of 6’6, weighing in at 260 lbs. From Belfast. He is the WWCF Inter-Forum Champion, ABOVE AVERAGE!
(Above Average makes his way to the ring)

First Fall:
Above Average and Supersmark stand face to face. Smark holds his hand out for a handshake, Above Average is weary but holds out his hand with caution. Smark and Average shake hands. Average attempts to let go by Smark whips him into a lariat. Smark goes for the pinfall,
1
2
2 count
Average tries to get to his feet after that jaw jacking lariat but Smark is stomping and kicking away at Averages legs and body. Average grabs Smarks foot as Smark starts hoping on one leg and pleading for forgiveness. Average shakes his head and delivers a lariat of his own. Average goes for the 3.
1
2
2 count
Smark rolls out of the ring to try and catch his breath but Average is hot on his trail and attempts to throw him back into the ring. But Smark throws an elbow in Averages face. Smark throws Average into the ring. Smark rolls into the ring and hits a DDT. Smark goes for another pin.
1
2
2 count
Smark starts working on Averages knees and legs with various kicks and holds. Smark drags Average into the middle of the ring and attempts a Figure 4 Leglock but Average kicks out sending Smark into the turnbuckle. Average gets to his feet and starts giving Smark Corner Knee Lifts before giving Smark a delayed Vertical suplex. Average goes for a three count.
1
2
2 count
Average picks up Smark but Smark rakes Averages eyes and picks up Average for “The Crash”, he hits it in the middle of the ring. Smark goes for the pinfall
1
2
3

Second fall:
Before Average can get to his feet Smark locks in a sharshooter, telling the ref to check him. Above Average is in agonising pain, trying to reach the ropes. Average is clawing his way towards the ropes and eventually manages to get one finger draped over the bottom rope, forcing Smark to let go of the hold.
Smark starts dragging Average to the centre of the ring to attempt the sharpshooter one more time. But As he grape vines the legs Average lifts himself up and delivers a powerful punch to Smarks jaw. Both men are lying on their backs. Average picks himself up by clutching the turnbuckles, Smark gets to his feet and walks towards Average only to get hit with a Superkick. Average falls on top of Smark for the pin.
1
2
3

Third Fall:
Both men are exhausted and are running on Empty, they somehow manage to get to their feet and start throwing punches. The crowd “booing” and “yaying” which each punch until Smark throws a punch and Average manages to duck it. Average is behind Smark and Average locks in a Full Nelson. Smark in a desperate attempt to free himself lunges himself back, sending both competitors into the referee.

Smark crawls over to his corner of the ring, Above Average manages to get the referee back on his feet before going back after Supersmakr. Smark levels out Above Average with his laptop, the referee see’s this and calls for a DQ.
Muffer – The winner of this match, as a result of a DQ, ABOVE AVERAGE!!!
Smark is furious and starts attacking Above Averages prone body with his laptop, trying to break his ribs with every blow. The referee calls for help as officials and security run to the ring. Supersmark leaves the ring with a Smirk on his face as the medics put Above Average on a stretcher.

_______________________________________

*Camera swings into rainy, beaten down theme park. People are running for cover, holding things over their heads whilst Stevie, Krazy and Eli just stand there in the pouring rain*

Stevie: Funny how people run from the rain. One person runs, and they all follow. The thunder and lightning scare people, and they run and hide. Nothing scares us. We don't run and hide. That's why we're the outsiders, coming home soaked because we don't care. We didn't have dates to the prom, but we came anyway, to glare at everybody else, and think of the day where we'd purify them all.

Krazy: Standing by the wall, guessing who would end up screwing who...what a pathetic society. You all stared. But we didn't flinch. We were the kids at the back of the class, knowing the answers but never bothering to speak. We just got through it. We were the kids you'd whisper about. But guess what? The freaks are taking out Sam's little army, and we're not afraid.

Stevie: Damn straight. Last week on King of Wrestlecrap, Eli took out The Sam. And believe you me, we're going to take out all of his underlings from underneath him.

Eli: Yep. And you sure as hell ain't gonna interfere, Sam. I'll throw you back into that ring. And anyone else who is especially eager to be saved. Have you noticed? We're already taking down the filth of this world. Just think of it boys, the world is gonna be squeaky clean someday. By ANY means. We'll, we've got a night to enjoy, so, your underpaid camera man can leave us alone.

*Grumbles from cameraman*

*All three walk off and get on to a now empty Ferris Wheel*

_____________________________________

Parking Lot Brawl
Stryker Duck Silence: Stryker and MiLo Duck VOTES-6
VS
The Southwest Connection: Tyfo and littlenaitch VOTES-9

The camera follows Stryker and Milo walking down the corridor, Goldberg style, in street clothes towards the parking lot, where Tyfo and littlenaitch wait sitting on the hood of a pickup. naitch brandishes a tire iron and Tyfo a tow rope. Milo and Stryker are warning the referee to stay out unless he's calling the finish.

SDS burst through the double doors into the lot, high five and rush at the Connection, who launch themselves at SDS. It breaks down into a slugfest as Stryker and Tyfo pair off and exchange blows. Stryker grabs a loose end of the rope and pulls him off balance, then sweeps the leg and starts landing MMA elbows to the side of his head.

Milo looks to get the better of naitch, but he swings the tire iron into Milo's midriff and then a hiptoss onto the concrete. Priming the tire iron, he rushes Stryker and lands a blow to the kidneys, sending him to his knees. Aiding Tyfo to his feet, the Connection swoop in and lay boots to Stryker, before a double whip into the hood of a car, leaving him sprawled across, face down. They turn their attention to Milo, who hits a high knee on naitch, and chops at Tyfo. The Connection's double team takes advantage and they begin pounding away on Milo and then a double snap suplex. Stryker is up, and standing on the hood of the car, and comes off with a cross body cleaning house on the Connection.

All 4 men are down, Milo struggles to all fours and grabs naitch by the hair, smashing his head into the concrete, starting the blood flowing like his namesake. Tyfo and Stryker are up together, exchanging punches, leaving Milo to come up behind and lock the Fowl Play in, but naitch is back to his knees and swings the tire iron again hard into the side of Milo, forcing him to relinquish the hold, both he and Tyfo drop down.

Stryker and naitch face off, but Naitch starts hitting the knife edge chops with the iron, sending Stryker reeling.

Milo is back up as Tyfo is on all fours. He hits an improvised poetry in motion bulldog, springing off Tyfo and planting naitch again. SDS round on Tyfo, and walk him up to a row of cars, bouncing his head off the hoods of 3 in a row, setting off the alarms. Milo turns him so Stryker can lock in the Sleeper, but Tyfo kicks up behind with a low blow. Milo charges, but takes a drop toe hold, smashing his head into a headlamp.

Tyfo aids naitch back into the fight, and he locks on the figure 4 on Milo, sending him writhing. Tyfo starts throwing haymakers at Stryker, before smashing his head against a wingmirror, busting him open. He rolls him onto the hood of the next car, then drags him onto the roof. He's calling for it as Milo tries in vain to reverse the figure four, and hits the Tumbleweed on Stryker, straight through the windshield. The referee calls an immediate halt to the proceedings and awards the match to The Southwest Connection.

Michael Muffer- Here our your winners…………………TYFO AND LITTLENAITCH THE SOUTHWEST CONNECTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

____________________________________________

*promo*
*Aaron Enigma is back stage in a dark room, sitting in a steel chair*
So, a week after my brutal House of Fun match, again I am thrown into the hardcore scene. This works just fine for me, because I know that I can fight with the best of them. Tonight I will win this match and go on to compete for the hardcore championship. I realized that I am not well-known in this business yet, tonight changes that. Tonight....everyone will see the Head Detective solve a mystery the extreme way.

____________________________________________

Four Corner Hardcore Match to name the No. 1 Contender for the Hardcore Championship
Evil Masked wordlifeecw
VS
Head Detective Aaron Enigma
VS
Latino Meat
VS
Brahma Bull

At the start of the match, Brahma Bull grabs a Singapore cane and nearly takes Meat’s head off. Enigma swats the cane out of Bull’s hand and delivers a scoop slam, while wordlifeecw tosses Meat to the outside. Enigma goes to the top rope, but wordlifeecw slams him to the mat. Wordlifeecw goes for the cover, but Brahma Bull breaks it up. Latino Meat returns with a chair, which he uses to lay everyone out. He covers wordlifeecw, but only gets a 2-count. Meat hit’s a brain buster on Bull, but Enigma breaks up the pin attempt. Enigma pulls out his magnifying glass, which he cracks over Meat’s head. Enigma makes a cover, but wordlifeecw pulls him off and choke slams him for a 2-count. Bull brings a table into the ring. Meat dropkicks Bull, and snaps off a DDT on wordlifeecw for a 2-count. Meat sets up the table in the corner, but Enigma cracks him over the head with a chair. Another cover only yields a 2-count. Brahma Bull grabs the cane, and swings at Enigma, but he ducks, causing the cane to bounce off the ropes and catch Bull in the face. Wordlifeecw grabs Brahma and tosses him to the outside. Enigma goes for the Brilliant Deduction, but wordlifeecw fights free and hit’s a reverse DDT. Latino Meat leaps off the top rope, but wordlifeecw catches him and delivers the Journey to Hell through the table. He makes the cover and get’s the 3-count.

Michael Muffer: Here is your winner, Evil Masked wordlifeecw!

__________________________________________

BandStand JazzOff Match(if TromboneMan wins Southwest Connection gets a return match for the tag titles. If grbjazzman wins he gets a shot at the Trombone Title.)
grbjazzman
VS
TromboneMan

We come back to the ring and KGX is seen standing with a live band all around him.

Well everyone, this is it. The moment no doubt all of your have been waiting for. The first ever WWCF Jazzoff between the two best musicians in the WWCF. I'm your judge and host KGX. No without any further adu, let's get these two men out here. First representing The Family. TROMBONE MAN!!!

The live band leaps into playing "In The Mood" as Trombone Man makes with way down to the ring with trombone in hand to a chorus of boos from the fans.

And now, representing The Pride. GRBJAZZMAN!!!

The band transitions into "Sing, Sang, Sung" as Grbjazzman comes on out with Saxophone in hand and a huge pop from the fans. He and Trombone Man meet in the center of the ring and have a stare down.

Trombone Man, you have won the toss back stage and have chosen to go first. Take the stage and bring it!

TM: Get ready fans, this is what a true musician sounds like. Alright band, Blue Bossa, ready hit it!!

The band launches into Blue Bossa as Trombone Man plays the head done with some nice inflection. As Trombone Man moves into the solo section he really starts to get going, using the slide on his trombone as an advantage to move between notes and even throws out a plunger to add some Wah-Wah effects. He closes out with a replaying of the head and a plunger spike.

TM: Beat that, jazzman!!!

JM: That was pretty damn good, Trombone Man. But no, let's show you that I can swing just as hard as you. band, hit my music!

The band starts playing the Nat Adderly classic 'Work Song' and Jazzman navigates the head. But when he gets to the solo section he channels Nat's brother Cannonball Adderly and just rips the changes in the solo section. He uses runs and rhythms that are jazz classics to get a real swinging feel and closes by sending notes into the next stratosphere. he closes by running through the head again in double time to the applause of the fans.


Trombone Man wins:

KGX: Well fans, now it's time for you to vote. Who here votes for Trombone Man?

The Fans boo

And who here votes for Grbjazzman?

The fans cheer

Well, don't forget, my vote counts double from all of you and I feel that the winner of the first ever WWCF Jazzoff is TROMBONE MAN!!!

Trombone Man is pumped and he celebrates all the way up the ramp and to the back to celebrate with The Family.

Sorry Jazzman. Maybe next time.

KGX extends he hand for a hand shake that Jazzman accepts. But all is not as it seems as KGX kicks jazzman in the gut and hits him with an Emerald Flowsion through a drum!

That's how you make an impact.

____________________________________________

Non-Title Tag Team Match
The Crusade: Seth Drakin and The Tank
VS
The Pride: Metylerca and M.O.P

M.O.P. and Seth Drakin begin the match. From the lockup, M.O.P applies a headlock, Seth shoots him into the ropes, M.O.P. bounces back, ducks a clothesline, and hit’s a Thesz Press, raining fists down on Drakin. Seth rolls to his corner and tags in Tank. Tank enters and starts firing off on M.O.P. with lefts and rights, before hitting a double underhook powerbomb. M.O.P. fights back to his feet and hit’s a clothesline, followed by a Samoan Drop. He then tags in Metylerca. Metylerca slams Tank and drops an elbow, followed by a splash, but Tank rolls out of the way. Tank tags in Seth, who delivers clubbing blows to Metylerca’s neck. Metylerca tries to fight back, but Seth kicks him in the ribs and drags him to the Crusade’s corner. Seth and Tank trade off on Metylerca, making frequent tags, trying to keep a fresh man in the ring at all times. Finally, Tank and Seth whip Metylerca into the ropes, but he catches them with a big double DDT! Metylerca crawls to his corner and makes the tag! M.O.P. comes in and unloads on Tank and Seth with punches, kicks, and slams.

M.O.P picks up Tank, who is the legal man, and tosses him to Metylerca, who hit’s the Ride The Lightning. M.O.P. follows up with a Turnpike Driver, picking up the win.

Michael Muffer: Here are your winners, the WWCF World Tag Team Champions, M.O.P. and Metylerca, The Pride!

After the match when The Pride is celebrating both Seth and The Tank attack them from behind and start putting boots to them.

*A lion’s roar is heard over the PA and grbjazzman comes running out. *

Jazzman starts fighting off Seth and The Tank but eventually the black cloacked figure we have seen before makes his way through the crowd with a steel chair in hand. He crashes it over the head of grbjazzman and the three of them start working over The Pride one by one. Seth Drakin grabs a microphone.

Seth Drakin- Let me introduce you all to the newest member of The Crusade…


*The Tank pulls the hood off the cloaked figure…………..


…………”EVIL LA PARKA”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

________________________________________________

*As The Crusade are making their exit Cthulhu passes them in the hall and stares at Seth who returns the glare.*

I'm standing here, in this ring, and I get this feeling... and then, and then I see a great future, for me, and for anyone else like me. I see a future, full of fighting and chaos, and broken bones, and people lying unconscious in the ring; and me, the source of all this chaos. You see, several weeks ago I left the WWCF with several failures. I had lost my focus, and before that I let an idiot, the "great" crusader Seth Drakin lead me.

But now I'm back, ladies and gentlemen, and to all the trash backstage -- if you think that nothing has changed, and if you think I'm someone to ignore... well, I have something to show you that might change your mind.

*Cthulhu takes something out from his jacket, and holds it up for the audience to see. Motor-Colt's mask.*

Motor-Colt, poor Motor-Colt. He thought he had reached the top -- he is, after all, the King of WrestleCrap. And it was so... boring. So I did what I wanted to do: I made things interesting. Before he lost consciousness, I made sure Motor-Colt saw my face, before I took a baseball bat and made his head crack like an egg. And I took his mask, just because I wanted to give all of you a simple item for show-and-tell.

I don't care if anyone thinks what I did was cowardly. I don't even care if the entire roster would come down here, in this ring, to seek revenge for poor Motor-Colt. I don't care: I'll fight them all. I'm not here to make friends, and I'm not here save anyone or solve a mystery -- if you want the truth, I'm just me, and I want to hurt people.

If you want to see the future, imagine me, and my boot, breaking your face, forever.

Thank you! F*** you! The villian is here!

________________________________________________

Hardcore Title Hell In A Cell Monkey Boot Camp Match(Whitey gets another shot since he didn't submit but it is under The General's rules)
Whitey "Daddy Phat Sax" Fats
VS
The General

As The General and Whitey makes their entrances, a close-up of the ring shows a miniature boot camp set up. At the top of the cage, hanging from the roof, is a whistle. The match begins, with Whitey grabbing a traffic cone and hitting the General in the head with it. Whitey then grabs an army boot and takes another swing. This time the General ducks it and hit’s a reverse suplex. The General whips Whitey into the ropes and tosses him into the chin-up bar. Whitey flips himself over the bar, hitting a moonsault from a rather unorthodox position. Whitey throws the General in the corner and stacks a bunch of tires in front of him. Whitey then starts to climb the cage. The General knocks the tires over and pulls Whitey down from the cage. He grabs one of the tires and whacks Whitey in the head with it, followed by a monkey flip into the other tires. The General pulls Whitey up and whips him into the ropes and goes for a clothesline, but Whitey bounces back with a clothesline of his own. They collide, knocking each other to the mat. They both get up at the same time. They trade punches in the center of the ring, until The General hit’s Whitey with a kick to the gut, followed by the Monkey Claw. The General then grabs a tire and wraps it around Whitey’s body. The General then climbs the cage and blows the whistle, winning the match.

Michael Muffer: Here is your winner, and STILL WWCF Hardcore Champion, The General of the Monkey Army!!!!!!!!!!!!!