Monday Niteraw - July 20, 2009

Monday NiteRaw July, 20th, 2009

(we see The Sam sitting in his office looking over some paperwork. He looks happy)
Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is The Sam and I am the WWCF Executive of Champions. Last week we saw the return of Wrestlings Hottest Free Agent, Stryker Duck Silence. And the #1 question on everyone’s lips is “Who’s side is he on?”
Well tonight, live and in living color, Stryker will sign a contract and become the NEWEST member of WWCF Corporate.
But until then, enjoy the show. HA HA HA HA HA HA!

*NiteRaw opening graphic plays, and we go to ringside*

Welcome to Monday NiteRaw! I’m Gorilla Tim Hoss, and with me, he saved a ton of money on his car insurance, Jesse King!

Gorilla, Botch at the Beach is just a week a way, and I‘m pumped!

Same here, Jess! And with tonight being the last stop, who knows what will happen headed into this big event?

Last week, Stryker made a surprise return, showing up after a six man tag team match. He attacked everyone involved in the match, and put the World Champion in the hospital! And now, The Sam says he‘s joining Corporate tonight!

A few weeks back, King Motor-Colt and Above Average challenged any team to a match, and The Sinful and The Deadly answered the challenge, so we‘ll see that match tonight!

Last week, Viva Los Bio Dome faced Starshine and Cthulhu in a handicap match, but came up short. Tonight, he meets Tyfo 1-on-1.

Speaking of Cthulhu and Starshine, after their win last week, they have been granted a number one contender‘s match for the Tag Team Championship, and they‘ll facing Starshine‘s former partner, Square, and his brother, Relegate Hunter!

Grbjazzman is on his way to Botch at the Beach, and a match with Seth Drakin. But before he get’s there, he’ll have to take on “Evil La Parka”!

And for our opening contest, we have TTS and The Boiler Room Brawler taking on Whitey Fats and the Hardcore Champion, Jonathan Michaels!


TTS and The Boiler Room Brawler w/ The Sam V. Whitey Fats and Jonathan Michaels

The following tag team match is set for one fall, with a 20 minute time limit.
*God’s Gonna Cut You Down*
Introducing first, being accompanied by The Sam. At a total combined weight of 640 pounds, The Boiler Room Brawler, and the Montego Bay AlcoholicWeight Champion, TTS!
*Simply The Best*
And their opponents. At a total combined weight of 520 pounds, Whitey Fats and the WWCF Hardcore Champion Jonathan Michaels!

The match begins with TTS and Whitey in the ring. Whitey laughs and mocks TTS which causes him to charge at Whitey. Whitey sidesteps and sticks his leg out, tripping TTS. TTS gets up embarrassed and charges again, except this time Whitey sidesteps again and TTS bounces off the ropes. Whitey hits a Back Body Drop on TTS followed by a couple clotheslines. He wrenches TTS's left arm and walks towards Jonathan, tagging him in.

Jonathan enters the ring, slamming his fist down on TTS's left arm, causing him to hold it in pain. Jonathan grabs TTS by the head and delivers a big vertical suplex, followed by a hammerlock on the ground, using his left arm again. TTS quickly escapes the maneuver, kicking Jonathan in the stomach after getting up. He tries to hit a DDT, but Jonathan counters with a kick to the stomach of his own, followed by a jumping armbreaker. TTS winces at the inflicted pain on his arm. Jonathan goes to lift him up for TTS throws him into the second turnbuckle. Using this time, he tags in Brawler.

Brawler comes in and deliver a vicious punch to the spine of Jonathan, followed by a back suplex. Brawler charges Whitey and hits him, knocking him off the ropes. When Whitey gets in the ring to attack Brawler, the ref stops him, and during their squabble, TTS delivers a top rope leg drop on Jonathan. Brawler goes for the pin but Jonathan has his foot under the bottom rope. Brawler pulls Jonathan closer to the center but when he goes for the pin Jonathan gets him in a small package pin.

1.....2...Brawler powers out of the pin.

Brawler picks up Jonathan and attempts to vertical suplex him, but Jonathan counters with a kick to the stomach and quick DDT. Both men are down in the ring and crawl to their respective corners. Jonathan and Brawler simultaneously tag in Whitey and TTS. Both men explode into the ring charing each other. Whitey ducks a clothesline from TTS and hits a big one on the rebound. Whitey picks up TTS and hits a spin-out powerbomb. Meanwhile Brawler comes up from behind trying to attack Whitey, but Jonathan runs in a spears him, sending both Brawler and himself through the ropes. Whitey lifts up TTS and hits the BURNINNNNNNG HAMMMMMERRRRRR! and covers TTS for the pin.

1.....2.....3!

Here are your winners, Whitey Fats and the WWCF Hardcore Champion Jonathan Michaels!

Brawler tries to attack Whitey with his wrench, but Jonathan tackles him and they roll to the outside, and brawl their way up the ramp. Whitey picks up TTS’s belt, and raises it high in the air, before exiting with it.

Whitey gaining a lot of momentum entering his big match with TTS next week.

He also just committed grand theft title! That’s TTS’s belt, you crook!

Up next, grbjazzman takes on “Evil La Parka”!


grbjazzman V. “Evil La Parka“

This match is set for one fall, with a 15 minute time limit.
*La Parka Theme*
Introducing first, from Mexico City, Mexico, weighing in at 225 pounds, “Evil La Parka”!
*Sing, Sang, Sung*
And his opponent, from Fulton, New York, weighing in at 206 pounds, grbjazzman!


Jazzman starts by offering his hand in respect to Evil La Parka. At first Parka seems skeptical but accepts the handshake, before quickly kicking Jazzman in the stomach. He delivers a series of right hands before throwing Jazzman into the ropes. On the rebound, Jazzman ducks a clothesline and bounces off the opposite ropes before hitting an elbow smash on Parka, stunning him. Jazzman uses this chance to bounce off the ropes again, hitting a clothesline knocking Parka to the ground. Jazzman hits a leg drop and goes for the cover.

1.....2..Parka kicks out.

Jazzman picks up Parka and lifts him up, attempting a vertical suplex. However Parka counters it and hits a big suplex of his own. He quickly goes for the pin on a downed Jazzman, but instead lifts him shoulders up before laughing maniacally. He picks up Jazzman and hits a second and then a third vertical suplex, before signaling he is going to the top rope. He attempts to hit Jazzman with The X-Ray, but Jazzman is just able to roll out of the way, causing Parka to land on the canvas.

Both men slowly get up, with Jazzman getting up first. He goes after Parka only to be punched in the face by Parka. The two trade punches for a bit with Jazzman getting the upper hand and throwing Parka into the ropes. On the rebound he hits Parka with a big Back Body Drop. Parka quickly gets back up but he gets hit by a vicious enziguri that sends him reeling into the turnbuckle. Jazzman signals the crowd and charges Parka, making him Take The A Train. The crowd roars with cheers as Jazzman covers Parka.

1.....2.....3!

Here is your winner, grbjazzman!

As Jazzman celebrates, Seth Drakin and his followers are shown watching the match from an unknown location.

Well, Jazzman picks up another win as he heads on to Botch at the Beach, and a match with Seth Drakin for the Championship of Honor.

And he looks ready too, Gorilla. But Seth and his goons look they know what they’re doing.

It should be a most interesting match, that’s for sure, Jess!

Up next, former partners collide, with a PPV title match at stake. Joyful Hate battles Two Guys Who Seriously Rock, next!


Tag Team Title Contender’s Match: Joyful Hate (Square and Relegate Hunter) vs. Two Guys Who Seriously Rock (Cthulhu and Starshine)

The following contest is scheduled for one fall and-

*Someone clearing their throat is heard on the PA*

Michael Muffer, do us all a favour and just stop even trying.
All you paying ladies and gentlemen, children who force them to buy our merchandise. Prepare yourself for the show of your lifetime.

*Cherub Rock by Smashing Pumpkins plays on the PA as Cthulhu with his guitar enters the ramp flanked by Starshine. Chthulu kneels down in a rocker pose with his guitar while Starshine, holding a custom pink and purple mic with a large star, poses behind him.*

I am the "Technical Professional," Starshine, he is the "Corporate Rocker," Cthulhu. Together we are Two Guys Who Seriously Rock!

*The two make their way down to the ring and pose on opposite turnbuckles.*

What the hell is this Jesse?

It's called 'showmanship' Gorilla. Why am I not surprised you've never heard of it before?

I know showmanship, and I also know plain obnoxiousness. This would fall in the later category.

Now, now Gorilla. This is just what all the kids are into these days. Don't blame yourself for being out of touch.

*Using his custom mic* As some of you may have heard, and for those who haven't; you should have read the spoilers, Mr. D-Day Dave has decided to take his annual 36 week vacation starting tonight. So what that means is that he has left the control of this company in the very capable hands of WWCF Corporate. That includes Sam. *boo's* That includes Tyfo. *boo's* That includes our glass boned, WWCF Champion Little Naitch *slightly mixed reaction favoring cheers* That includes both the Corporate Rocker and myself. *Boo's while Cthulhu strums a few chords.* So that means we have the power to control all the matches. So tonight I want to make this clear to you John Creed. *turns to the referee* Tonight between the bells you don't have any discretion. Anyone breaks the rules, they're immediately disqualified. No questions asked., understood? *Creed objects pointing to his ref shirt. Starshine and Cthulhu back him into a corner.* Understood? *Creed holds up his hands and nods. Starshine and Cthulhu turn back to address the crowd* Tonight we become the undisputed next WWCF Tag Team Champions. We promise to give you a performance you won't ever forget. We love you Saint Louis. Buy a t-shirt, enjoy our show.

Am I hearing things, or did he say Saint Louis?

...No comment.

*'Smile Like You Mean It' by the Killers plays on the PA. Square leads his team stopping at the top of the ramp. He drops his jacket and sunglasses and stares at the corporate team while Relegate Hunter bounces and plays to the crowd behind him. He suddenly sprints down to the ring. Meanwhile Relegate Hunter is ambushed by the Pharris brothers from behind and they drag him backstage.*

Square slides in and immediately targets Starshine taking him down and pounding on him. Cthulhu drags him off but is leveled himself with an elbow to the face. Starshine rolls outside to escape but is quickly followed by his old partner. Square chases him around the ring and follows him back inside. Cthulhu tries to intercept him but Square ducks and hits him on the rebound with a lariat. Starshine spins him around but is hit with a stiff right. Square shoves him into the corner and continues the beat down. Cthulhu grabs his guitar and nails Square in the back of his head, denting his instrument in the process. Starshine uncovers his eyes to see the collapsed Square and looks up at Cthulhu and his broken guitar. He creeps to his feet and looks at the referee.

Ring the bell!

*The bell rings*

Not like this.

Starshine immediately goes for the pin.
1...
2...
Square kicks out!
Starshine is freaking out, he grabs Cthulhu's guitar from him and prepares to hit him again. The referee warns him of disqualification and he reluctantly throws it outside. Cthulhu comes in and picks up Square in the Death Magnetic position. He motions to Starshine who positions himself in front of him. Cthulhu delivers a Death Magnetic as Starshine catches Square head into an X-Factor facebuster.
Starshine goes for the pin.
1...
2...
3

They call that Shock Rock Gorilla. What a move.

You mean what a joke. I can't believe this is how we determined the number one contenders for the tag team titles. This is just ridiculous.

Correction Gorilla. This is how you win. I have a feeling this won't be the last time we see it either.

The winners of this match, Cthulhu and Starshine; Two Guys Who Seriously Rock.

*Starshine takes his mic and looks at the fallen Square*

And the loser of this match... Square.

*Cthulhu takes his broken guitar and lays it across Square. The two make their way to the back as a few paramedics come out to check on Square. However, as they get halfway up the ramp…*

The lights suddenly go out as the Titantron lights up. Scenes from Nazi Germany are shown. As Hitler rallies his troops for battle and to victory over the French, wispy words show up over the scene. They say, "Take It" and "Face the Power." However the scene suddenly changes to a battlefield, with bullets flying everywhere, and countless people dying on screen. The same two lines appear on the screen from before. This time however, a third line is added under it that says "Your Power is the key." Suddenly the scene stops and in big white letters the phrase, "Can you comprehend?" is shown. Suddenly the titantron shuts off and the lights come back up. Starshine and Cthulhu looks visibly paler as they walk the rest of the way up the ramp, shaken up by the scenes before them.


(we see The Sam getting coffee from the catering table)
The Sam – Why am I getting my own coffee? Where is BRB when you need him?
(Fred Neric approaches)
Fred Neric – Fred Neric here, The Sam a lot of people are still sceptical about your supposed “dealings” with Stryker.
The Sam – What are you talking about Fred?
Fred – Well, for one thing, Stryker has not officially come out and said he will join WWCF Corporate. And furthermore no one, including myself, has been able to get in contact with Stryker about these supposed dealings or anything else. So how did you get in contact with him?
The Sam – Fred, I’m The Sam, I have connections everywhere. Unlike you in the media, I got connections to everyone and anyone. So finding Stryker took a bit of initiative but I can say I did find him.
Fred Neric – Really? Well if that’s the case. What did you offer Stryker that would make him want to come back?
The Sam – You wanna know Fred?
It wasn’t glory, it wasn’t honor, it wasn’t these fans, it was money.
You see, when I got into contact with Stryker all I said was “Baby? What’s it going to take to get you back into WWCF?” and all he said was “Sam, if you got the money honey, I got the time”. And Fred, Stryker is here tonight. In an undisclosed location. But when the time comes, Stryker will be in that ring, signing hat contract, and becoming the newest member of WWCF Corporate.
Fred Neric – Well finally, what does Littlenaitch think about this?
The Sam – I am well aware of Naitches injuries. And the fact they were caused by Stryker. But you see Fred, that’s why I am contracting Stryker.
He proved how vicous he is, by attacking the World champion. Also, in the contract he has agreed to not injure any other member of WWCF Corporate.
Fred Neric – Thankyou for your time.
(The Sam leaves)
Fred – Back to you at ringside.

Well, in just a moment, we’re going to see Tyfo take on Viva Los Bio Dome. But first we want to send our best wishes to the WWCF World Champion.

Indeed, Gorilla. Last week, Little Naitch was viciously attacked following his match, and is now laying in a coma. Naitch, hang in there, buddy. We’re all pullin’ for ya!

Up next, Viva Los Bio Dome V. Tyfo!


Viva Los Bio Dome V. Tyfo w/ The Sam and The Farris Brothers

The following contest is set for one fall, with a 20 minute time limit.
*New Blackjacks theme*
Introducing first, being accompanied by The Sam and The Farris Brothers. From Dallas, Texas, and weighing in at 245 pounds, Tyfo!
*Safety Dance*
And his opponent. From Hayward, California, weighing in at 195 pounds, Viva Los Bio Dome!

Viva and Tyfo lock up, and Viva pushes Tyfo against the ropes. The ref orders a clean break and get’s one. They tie up again, and the same thing. On the third try, Viva once again breaks clean, but Tyfo catches him with a cheap shot. Tyfo stays on Viva, clubbing him with forearms and elbows. Viva fights back, knocking Tyfo to the mat with a clothesline. Viva locks in a running side headlock, but Tyfo rolls him up.
1
Kickout, and back to the headlock. Tyfo tries to get free, but Viva keeps it locked in tight. Tyfo is about to tap, but The Sam jumps on the ring apron distracting the ref. The Farris Brothers quickly dive in the ring, and beat down Viva, and roll Tyfo on top. The ref turns around, and makes the count.
1
2
Kickout.
Tyfo and Viva are both down now, and the ref starts his count.
1
2
3
4
Tyfo starts to stir.
5
Viva’s moving slowly now.
6
7
Tyfo’s on his knees.
8
Viva’s crawling towards the ropes.
9
Tyfo’s up, breaking the count. Tyfo catches Viva with a high knee, which knocks the former Heatz!!1 Champion out of the ring. Tyfo follows him to the floor, and whips him into the crowd control barrier, as the ref begins his count.
1
2
Tyfo charges at Viva, who ducks…
3
4
And Tyfo goes flying over the barrier and into the crowd.
5
Viva follows Tyfo into the crowd,
6
7
And the two trade punches amongst the fans.
8
9
10!

Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has counted both men out!

In the crowd, Tyfo and Viva are still going at it, oblivious to the fact that the match is over. The Farris Brothers enter the crowd, and pull Tyfo back over the barrier. Viva remains in the crowd, taunting Tyfo.

Well, that sucked. How can a match like that end in a double countout, Gorilla?!

Hold on Jess. I’m getting word from backstage that because this match had no winner, a rematch has been ordered for Botch at the Beach! Viva will face Tyfo, and it will be a Falls Count Anywhere match!

Finally! Somebody back there is using their head!

Up next, our main event. The Sinful and The Deadly take on the WWCF World Tag Team Champions, King Motor-Colt and Above Average!


Non-Title Match: Above Average and King Motor-Colt V. The Sinful and The Deadly(Koda and Legion)

The following tag team contest is set for one fall, with a 30 minute time limit.
*Agent of Chaos*
Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 476 pounds, Legion, and the WWCF Heatz!!1 Champion, Koda, The Sinful and The Deadly!
*It’s Hard To Speak Without A Tongue*
And their opponents. At a total combined weight of 507 pounds, they are the WWCF World Tag Team Champions. King Motor-Colt and the WWCF Inter-Forums Champion, Above Average!

Colt and Above Average offer a handshake to Legion and Koda who, after a bit of hesitation, accept it. As Colt and AA head to their corner though, Legion and Koda attack them from behind. The ref pulls them off, and Koda and AA start off. Koda rams his knee in to AA’s back, and then comes down hard with all his weight on the Champion’s spine. The Heatz!!1 Champion hit’s a DDT, and covers Double A.
1
2
Kickout.
Koda kick’s AA hard in the ribs, and then tags Legion in. Legion pick’s A Double up by the throat, and tosses him into the corner. The Demonic One goes for a big splash, but Double A moves, and Legion slams into the turnbuckle. As Legion steps out of the corner, dazed, AA catches him with a Superkick. Cover!
1!
2!
Koda breaks it up. The Heatz!!1 Champion suplexes AA, and pulls Legion over to their corner. Legion reaches up and tags Koda in. AA tries to tag Colt, but Koda dives in between them, and dropkick’s Colt off the apron. Koda continues to dissect the Inter-Forum Champion, hitting him with punches and knees and elbows. Following a knee drop, Koda makes a cover.
1
2
Kickout!
Koda applies a headlock, and transitions it into the Arkham Straightjacket! Cover!
1!
2!
Kickout!
Koda angrily sends AA into the corner for the Arkham Roundup, but misses on the Pele. Both men are down now, and they begin inching towards their corners. Koda get’s there first and tags Legion in, but AA is able to make the hot tag to Colt! Colt charges at Legion, and hit’s a jawbreaker, followed by a Million Dollar kneelift! Koda tries to slow Colt down, but is met with a running neckbreaker! Colt then goes to the top rope and hit’s a flying forearm to both men! With both men staggered, AA hit’s the Superkick on Koda, knocking him to the outside, while Colt locks in the Final Thought on Legion. The Demonic One taps out.

Here are your winners, Above Average and King Motor-Colt!

The Tag Team Champions celebrate their win, but Starshine and Cthulhu jump them from behind. Starshine hit’s the Starblind on AA, and then he and Cthulhu go for the Shock Rock n Colt, but Koda and Legion chase them away. Colt helps AA up, and they turn around to face Koda and Legion. After a short staredown, Legion and Koda offer a handshake, which AA and Colt accept.

The Champions pick up the win, Jess.

But don’t count on that happening next week at the PPV, Gorilla!

Will Stryker sign with WWCF Corporate? Find out, next!


(Bobby Heenan Theme)
Muffer – Ladies and Gentlemen, may I introduce the WWCF Executive of Champions, representing WWCF Corporate, The Sam.
(The Sam walks down to the ring wearing a tuxedo with contract in hand)
The Sam – Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Children of all ages. Allow me to introduce to you. He stands at 5’11, he weighs in at 240 lbs. He hails from the “Depths of soul”? Nice neighborhood, they should tear it down and build a slum.
Anyway, please welcome the NEWEST member of WWCF Corporate. STRYKER DUCK SILENCE!!!
(Strykers music hits and out comes Stryker wearing his patented look of black kilt and leather jacket and enters the ring)
The Sam – Now before we get to the conract signing I would just like to say a few words.
Now as many of these fans would know, you and I have had a storied past. The matches that you and Milo had with The Family, why even we had a “Platypus suit match” at one point. I forgot who won that match. I’m pretty sure it was me, butI digress. We are not out here to talk about the past Stryker, we are here to talk about the future. Your future to be exact.
Now I know you had some hesitations about this Stryker. But believe me, it’s for your own good. You will be receiving a lot of money. You will have a health plan. You will be set for life. And as you would know, I have an impressive track record . Everyone I have ever managed has become a champion at some point. Look at the names Stryker. Tromboneman, Tyfo, TTS, Starshine, Boiler Room Brawler…he got “Employee of the Week” last week…oh, and Littlenaitch.
Speaking of which. I hope you are still ok with apologizing to Naitch for your actions last week.
Now before you sign this contract, is there anything you would like to say?
(The Sam hands Stryker the microphone)

I have fought and I have won and I have lost. After all the highs and lows I've been through, I'd like to say I've learned something. An unveriable truth. If you can't beat them, join them. It's not a question of integrity, I never had much of that anyway, it's a question of getting things done and taking the steps I need to climb the ladder and claim my rightful spot in the company that I built.

The Sam – Well with that out of the way, lets sign this contract and make it official.
(The Sam grabs a pen and signs the contract)
There, now it’s your turn.
(Stryker is hesitant, he looks over the contract. He looks towards the fans. He looks at the camera. He looks at The Sam. He grabs the pen and signs the dotted line.)
The Sam – Ladies and Gentlemen, the NEWEST member of WWCF Corporate, STRYKER!

*The Sam extends his hand with beaming corny smile, and Stryker reaches out, and accepts the handshake, but holds on...*

You know, I'd like to say I'd learned that lesson, but you know what? I flunked out!

*With his spare hand, Stryker lays a sharp knife edge chop across The Sam's chest, then pulls him in and hits a belly to belly suplex, throwing The Sam over the ring. Stryker grabs the contract and tears it up, letting it drop on The Sam. Stryker poses for a moment, and The Sam groggily crawls up behind and goes for a Low Blow, but Stryker catches his arm. He throws himself over in a somersault, dragging The Sam over in a brutal Armdrag slam, locking in the Armbar. The Sam writhes around before Stryker releases the hold then grabs the pen and attacks The Sam with it.
Stryker gets up and shakes his head towards the camera. We see The Sam holding the ropes with blood pouring from his face. Stryker grabs The Sam and starts jamming the pen into The Sams forehead causing more blood.
Stryker gets out of the ring. He looks underneath the ring and grabs a chain. He slides back into the ring and wraps it around his fist. The Sam staggers towards Stryker who Punches The Sam with the chain around his fist. Stryker then wraps the chain around The Sams throat and drags him out of the ring and up the ramp. Stryker grabs the other end of the chain and throws it over the Crapertron and starts hoisting The Sam up. The show closes with Stryker posing in front of a bloody, beaten The Sam being hung by his neck from the Crapertron)


Match writing credits: Aaron Enigma, Starshine, and Evil M. Additional segments contributed by The Sam and Stryker.