Monday Niteraw - April 5, 2010
4/9/10
Monday NiteRaw - April 5, 2010
Jesse King - Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Monday NiteRaw! I’m Jesse King!
Tim Hoss - And I’m Gorilla Tim Hoss.
Jesse King - We have a huge card tonight, with four matches for WWCF Rankings spots!!
Tim Hoss - Management decided that since the top four names have been busy with other endeavors and ignoring their positions, that they‘ll have to fight to keep them!
Jesse King - Right. Unlike regular rankings matches, if any of the ranked competitors lose, they‘re out!
Tim Hoss - And in addition to that, we have a big main event as The Family‘s Jay Carroll takes on Heavy Metal Hollywood‘s Sparks!
Jesse King - Plus we will here from Jazzman, we have another episode of Nakatomi Plaza, and-
*Paparazzi*
Tim Hoss - And the World Champion is here.
*Viva Los Bio Dome and valet Lisa Garcia make their way to the ring. Viva lifts the ropes for Lisa, and Lisa immediately walks over to the announcer and requests a microphone. Lisa hands Viva the mic, and Viva waits patiently for the boos to subside.*
So, you're gonna boo me before you even hear what I have to say? Well, unfortunately for you, I've got all day. You can either shut up or listen, or I'll patiently wait for the respect a champion deserves.
The crowd boos louder, eventually tapering off and getting about as quiet as a crowd of thousands can.
Alright, listen up. I know you don't like me, and quite frankly, I don't care. The fact of the matter is this: you cannot get enough of me. I am that person you are thinking of when you flip through the gossip rags. I am that person that you hope to see when you log on to Perez Hilton. Lets face it, people, I am everything you wish you were. Your jealousy is disgusting, appalling, laughable, and it's part of the reason I get no respect around here.
It wasn't long ago that I was flying under the radar. Rewind four months back and you'll find I was begging for an opportunity. I would have jumped at a chance to do things the right way. I groveled. I begged Seth Drakin for anything, any opportunity to prove to him that I had the blood of a champion boiling inside of me. What I got instead was shown the door, told I wasn't good enough, and asked not to bother him again.
So what did I do? I did what any rational human being would do. I got his attention however I had to. I broke Ganzo Bombs skull open with a steel chair, and then I took his leg out. What did I get in return? I got called a cheap coward, a sucker. How did I respond to that? I ended the career of one of the most prolific wrestlers ever to walk the ramp here at the WWCF.
I stormed Seth's office. I told him that I wouldn't stop my lust for blood until I got what I wanted, what I deserved. Again, I was shut down. I was told to enter the King of Wrestlecrap tournament and prove I was the hottest commodity in the WWCF. And that's exactly what I did. Over the course of that January, I was riding a hot streak the likes we haven't seen since. I won King of Wrestlecrap, defeating Littlenaitch and Square in the process. I walked out of Parts Unknown Arena the number one contender for the WWCF Championship.
Am I happy with my accomplishments?
*Viva Los Bio Dome looks down at his WWCF Championship title and smiles from ear to ear.*
Heh... yeah. I'm damn satisfied. Unfortunately, I still have an issue that I need to address. You see, Seth has challenged me in every way possible, and I have answered the bell, overcome the adversity, and achieved my goals. Where is the respect? No matter what I prove in this company, I am consistently sold short, while a has been like Littlenaitch tells me I'm not, and a never was named Square is telling me I'm unoriginal.
I never saw Aaron get talked down to like that. I never saw King Colt get talked to like that, and you know what? I'm done. You will speak to me like a true f***ing champion, because that's what I am. You don't like it? Beat me. It's that simple. 'Naitch, as far as I'm concerned, you had your chance. You hit the liquor store for a case of beer and you're a buck short? Well it looks like you ain't partying tonight. Suck it up and f*** off. I'm the star, this is my show, and it's high god damn time I start acting like it.
Unfortunately for everyone backstage, I've had enough of your bulls***. You will speak when spoken to, and you will keep my name out of your mouth otherwise. You're all looking at THE ONE AND ONLY. The Paparazzi Primadonna, the BRIGHTEST A-List Superstar this company has to offer. You're looking at the King of Hollywood.
*Viva motions for the cameraman to step closer.*
Yeah, get a good look, camera jockey. Drink it in, all of you, drink this in. This is the best part yet.
*Viva waits for a few seconds, letting the pictures sink in.*
You're looking at the WWCF World Heavyweight Champion, and that's something you can get used to. Push come to shove, that's how it's going to stay. So you fans, you assholes backstage, and especially you Seth Drakin, can you do me one f***ing favor? I don't ask for much.
GET USED TO IT.
*Viva Los Bio Dome drops the mic and exits the ring. Lisa Garcia is not far behind, and she struggles to catch up as he storms up the ramp and back to the locker room*
Official Ranking Match: Evil M V. Titanothere
Michael Muffer: The following match is set for one fall with a twenty minute time limit. First, from La Brea, California, weighing 366 pounds, the Monster of the Mesozoic Age: Titanothere!
(“Godzilla” by Blue Oyster Cult plays as Titanothere comes from the back. He paws both feet on the ground, lowers his head, and charges down the ramp. He goes up the steps, removing his helmet and pads, before turning to look back towards the stage)
“Gorilla” Tim Hoss: Titanothere with a determined expression on his face. But it’s going to take more than determination for him to beat Evil M tonight.
Jesse King: You’re right there, Gorilla. Evil M needs to win this match if he wants to remain the Number One Contender for the Inter Forum Title.
Muffer: And his opponent, hailing from Parts Unknown, Massachusetts and weighing 320 pounds, Evilllllll M!
(The opening chords to Kane’s original theme play as the ring goes dark, followed by AC/DC’s “Thunderstruck” and a burst of pyrotechnics. A bandaged Evil M walks slowly down the ramp. He steps over the ropes and into the center of the ring, raising both hands and lowering them to set off more of his pyro and bringing the houselights back up)
Hoss: Evil M, wearing the wounds from his Dog Collar Match he and Yellowjacket had last Monday at Saved by the Bell against the Human Hate Machines Square and Amigo.
King: He’s clearly not at full strength. I think he winced just lifting his arms for his pyro!
Hoss: I didn't think Evil M was capable of feeling pain.
(Referee John Creed brings Titan and M to the center of the ring and gives instructions. The bell rings and both men get right to it, exchanging punches before backing off to circle one another warily. Titanothere slowly holds up his hand to issue a challenge of a Test of Strength, and a small cheer erupts from the crowd. Evil M stands stock still for several moments, and the cheering builds. Finally Evil M lifts his arm and grips Titanothere’s raised hand and then grabs the other)
King: Here we go!
(The two go at it, with M getting the early advantage, using the advantage of leverage to push Titan down to his knees. The Monster of the Mesozoic Age shakes his head and the crowd begins to clap. He manages to get up on one leg and then the other. Evil M pulls Titanothere’s arms away from his body and lands a hard kick to the gut, breaking the hold. M begins clubbing at Titanothere, hitting his back as he staggers towards the ropes. M grabs the back of Titan’s head and pushes him to the corner, slamming his forehead against the turnbuckle. Titan stops M from doing it again by elbowing him in the neck)
Hoss: So far this match is about to be expected: two big bruisers each trying to overpower the other.
(Titanothere turns and grabs Evil M before hitting him with a head butt. He follows that up with a knee to M’s taped ribs. When Evil M backs off Titan rushes back to hit the ropes so he can use the momentum for a lariat. The masked monster staggers back but does not go down. Titanothere pushes him back to the ropes and tries another clothesline, flipping M to the outside where he lands on his feet. Evil M glares up at Titan and beckons him to come down and join him)
King: Titan knocked Evil M clear out of the ring and still he won’t go down!
Hoss: Impressive displays of fortitude and agility by Evil M there.
(Titanothere slides under the ropes to get to the outside. Evil M clubs at his opponent before his feet even touch the ground. M then hits a huge throat thrust that snaps Titan’s head back. He grabs Titan by the arm and leads him over to the ring steps and then Irish whips him into them, sending the metal objects flying away from the post and Titan to the floor, where he clutches his head dazedly.)
Hoss: Evil M’s strength combined with Titan’s bulk to launch those steel steps.
King: M used Titanothere like a battering ram, and Titan is definitely feeling it!
(Creed hollers at Evil M to get back in the ring. The Masked Monster hefts up Titanothere and pushes him under the ropes before entering himself. He goes for the pin, but Titan kicks out at one. Evil M stands and pulls Titanothere to his feet. He hits him with another uppercut and grabs Titanothere’s head for a Bulldog, but Titan pushes him away. Evil M stops, pivots, and lands a big boot, halting Titan mid-charge and knocking him to the mat. He goes for the cover and Creed starts the count. One…. Titan gets his shoulder up. Evil M again rises and positions himself behind Titan, his hand up to signal a choke slam. Titanothere slowly gets to his feet, turning and walking right into Evil M’s grip. Before the giant can lift him however Titanothere rams his elbow repeatedly in M’s face, breaking the hold. Titan staggers Evil M with an uppercut and then scoop slams him to the mat)
Hoss: Titan’s starting to rally, Jesse. But can he capitalize after finally getting Evil M off his feet?
(Titan jumps over Evil M, runs to the turnbuckle, and climbs to the second rope. He bounces up and down before connecting with a big splash! He hooks the leg and goes for the pin. Creed counts to one before Evil M kicks out. Both men struggle to their feet, with Evil M obviously favoring his ribs. Titanothere hammers at M’s midsection with a series of body blows, moving him across the ring and backing him into the corner. He charges and slams into Evil M with a body avalanche, then wraps his arms around M and puts him in a bear hug. He lifts Evil M bodily and drags him to the middle of the ring)
Hoss: Titanothere continuing to work on Evil M’s ribs with that bear hug. I’d say the tide has started to turn.
King: Maybe, but he and the rest of us will be waiting long time if he expects the Hardcore Monster to submit. As last Monday’s Dog Collar Match showed, Evil M tolerance for pain is amazing. I think he may even like it!
Hoss: Maybe, but there’s no doubt his injuries are slowing him down. Can Titanothere pull off the upset here and deny Evil M his shot at the Inter Forum Title?
(Evil M shakes his head when Creed asks him if he wants to quit. Titanothere applies more pressure, his arms cinched tightly around his opponent’s ribs. Finally, after striking Titan on the head with several elbows Evil M gets him to release the hold. Dropping to his feet he connects with another throat thrust and pushes Titanothere into the ropes. When Titan rebounds Evil M is ready with a sidewalk slam! He hooks Titan’s leg and grinds his elbow into his face as John Creed makes the count: One… Two… kickout!)
Hoss: Evil M literally giving himself some breathing room as he escapes the bear hug. Now what’s he doing?
(Limping to the corner, Evil M slowly climbs atop the turnbuckle. He waits for Titanothere to stand and then launches himself high in the air in an attempt to hit a diving clothesline. Titan has the move scouted and hits a big boot right into M’s bandaged gut. Evil M sinks to his knees as Titan loses his balance and staggers back)
King: Titanothere saved himself right there! That diving clothesline would have taken his head clean off!
(The Monster of the Mesozoic Age stomps over to the still reeling Evil M. He wraps his arms around M’s and hoists him to his feet)
Hoss: Oh, I think we’re about to witness the Extinction Event, Jesse!
(Titanothere head butts Evil M three times, stunning him. When the Hardcore Monster begins to sag, Titan bends him over and puts him in a waist lock. With a roar he lifts up Evil M and smashes him to the mat with a falling gutwrench power bomb. Titan scrambles to cover, and John Creed makes the count: One…. Two… Three!)
King: I don’t believe it!
Hoss: Believe it, Jesse!
Muffer: Here is your winner: Titanothere!
(Titanothere looks stunned as John Creed holds up his hand. He breaks into a huge smile, climbs a turnbuckle and raises both his fists in victory. The crowd cheers him on)
King: This showboating is just disrespectful. Act like you’ve been here before, rookie!
Hoss: That’s just it, Jesse: Titanothere hasn’t been here before. This may be the biggest win in the young man’s career!
King: Pfft! Some accomplishment: barely beating a man who is still recovering from a brutal Dog Collar Match. If Evil M was at full strength this fight would have gone very differently.
*Feeling Good by Michael Buble comes out as Jazzman makes his way out to the ring. He has a microphone in hand*
Jazzman: Now, I know that you guys are expecting me to come out here tonight, run down Jonathon and say that I was the better man, but that's just not the fact.
I've come out here to make an announcement that I think some people here aren't gonna like, but it's something that needs to be done.
*Jazzman steps a way from the mic as a small "Please Don't Go" chant breaks out*
I hear you guys are saying over there, and honestly, I really thought that this was going to be it. This was going to be the last time you ever saw my face in a WWCF Ring ever again.
*Crowd boos*
But, that was only a thought! You see, I'm sick of being the bad guy, I'm sick of trying to be something I'm not to try and get ahead in this company.
I don't identify with the guys like Amigo and Square, and to be fair, I really don't identify with the new young guys coming up through the system. So really, I'm in a bit of a limbo here.
I don't think I deserve a title match with Viva right now, hell I don't deserve any title shot right now. Jonathon just pinned me, BRB is off doing his thing, and Viva will tell you to your face that he thinks time has passed me and the rest of the guys who have been around here for a while.
So, what does that leave for your old friend Jazzman? Well, it's pretty simple. I promise to each and every one of you here tonight and each of you watching in the comfort of your home one thing.
I'm going back to my old ways, being the man who you knew you could count on night in and night out to be on your lips as you let the arena. I'm in this business not for me anymore, or really not even for the boys in the back. I'm doing this now for you guys. Together, with you guys back behind me, we can do some great things.
I hope you'll accept me, I need to entertain you again.
*Jazzman drops his mic in the ring and leaves to a chorus of cheers from the fans*
Offical Ranking Match: Square V. Yellow Jacket
*To be added later*
Official Ranking Match: Headbanger Man V. TTS
The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 20-minute time limit. If TTS wins, he takes Headbanger Man's place in the Inter-Forum Title rankings!
(Down On Me)
Introducing first, from Davie, Florida, weighing in at 290 pounds..."The Voodoo Lawyer" TTS!
- TTS does his chicken sacrifice ritual, and then poses to the crowd. He receives a nice pop for his trouble.
(We're Not Gonna Take It)
His opponent, from Kent, England, weighing 263 pounds - he is one half of the WWCF Tag Team Champions...THE HEADBANGER MAN!
- Headbanger comes out with the HMH Security and poses with the belt, before they are sent back to the locker room.
"Gorilla" Tim Hoss: Another match with Inter-Forum rankings implications here!
Jesse King: Absolutely Apeman. Headbanger Man has been busier in the tag division in recent times, but he claims that he wants to remain in contention for a singles title as well.
Hoss: True enough, but TTS is looking to get a title around his waist again - this is a very good opportunity to take a step towards that. These two are no strangers, having been involved in that Tag Title match at Saved By The Bell, where the Metal Express just about managed to retain the gold.
King: TTS and Vokoun gave it their all in that one though. Maybe its because they're both crazy, but they did seem to look like a decent tandem.
- Both men lock up. Headbanger gets a waistlock, but TTS backs him into the corner. Headbanger goes for a cheap shot, but TTS blocks it and lands a punch of his own. He executes a whip into the far corner, but eats a boot when he attempts a charge.
- Headbanger grabs a side headlock, but gets pushed off and knocked down with a shoulder. He leapfrogs TTS but telegraphs a back body drop attempt. TTS kicks him, and then clotheslines him out of the ring! Headbanger smacks the apron in frustration.
Hoss: TTS using his power in the early going here. Headbanger Man needs to change his strategy if he's going to keep the big man down here.
King: I used to beat up guys that were twice my size. Of course, being an expert in martial arts helps.
Hoss: You're a martial ass, that much is true.
King: Don't start with me, monkey boy. I'll roundhouse you so fast, your head's gonna spin like you were in The Exorcist!
- TTS tries to bring Headbanger back in, but gets hung across the top rope neck-first. The drummer then scores with a springboard clothesline. He drops a quick knee and makes a cover.
1...
- TTS powers out with relative ease. Headbanger stays on him with a series of right hands. He tries for a crossbody, but gets caught and slammed to the mat. TTS then picks him up and hits a vertical suplex. He thinks about going for a cover, but decides to try another suplex. This time it is countered, and Headbanger hits a series to kicks to the leg of TTS. He goes for one final kick to the head, but TTS is alert, and turns it into a version of a powerbomb.
1...
2...
- Kick out.
Hoss: TTS has been impressive so far. Every time Headbanger thinks he has an advantage, he has managed to come up with a counter.
King: I'd have beaten him by now, Gorilla.
- TTS picks up Headbanger on his shoulders, but gets raked in the eyes. Headbanger then hits a kick to the ribs and a swinging neckbreaker. He drops a couple of elbows to the back, and then chokes TTS in the ropes, as the referee tries to prevent him from doing so.
- Headbanger manages a snapmare takeover, before delivering a stiff boot to the spine. He then hits a Mr Perfect style rolling neckbreaker, and goes for a cover, hooking both legs.
1...
2...
- TTS kicks out again.
Hoss: Headbanger seems to have taken control now, as he tries to keep TTS down for the 3.
King: Its gonna take more than that, Jesse. One of my Bruce Lee kicks would've done the trick.
Hoss: I'm gonna have you removed in a minute!
- Headbanger hits a senton splash, before locking in a camel clutch on TTS.
King: Shades of The Iron Shiek here!
- TTS manages to push himself upwards, but Headbanger responds with crossfaces, before applying more pressure. The crowd chant for The Voodoo Lawyer as he tries to reach the ropes. Headbanger repeatedly tries to stop him from doing so, but eventually the bigger TTS manages to get there. Headbanger releases the hold at the 4 count, before stopping to insult the fans.
- He turns around and receives a punch to the gut from TTS, who soon gets to his feet. TTS lands a few more punches. He whips Headbanger into the ropes but misses with a clothesline, and Headbanger capitalises with a chopblock, followed by a snap DDT.
1...
2...
- TTS again kicks out. Headbanger chastises the referee.
Hoss: The Headbanger Man needs to divert his focus away from the referee and the fans, and instead try to finish TTS!
King: He knows what he's doing, Apeman.
Hoss: Well I'm not sure he's going about things the right way at the moment.
- Headbanger methodically picks up TTS, but is met with a sudden jawbreaker. TTS then gets a second wind, and hits him with a few clotheslines in quick succession, followed by a powerslam!
1...
2...
- Headbanger kicks out. TTS rocks him with a headbutt, and then follows it up with a belly to belly suplex. He then points to the turnbuckles, which the crowd react to positively.
Hoss: TTS could be heading upstairs here! The end may be near.
King: He'd better hurry up then, instead of showing off for these cretins.
Hoss: Man, you're a Grumpy Gus today.
- TTS climbs to the top turnbuckle, but misses with the Doctor's Note. Headbanger crawls into a pin.
1...
2...
- TTS gets the shoulder up.
King: I told you. See, I know what it takes to win a match.
Hoss: And I know how to get you fired. So stop annoying me.
- Headbanger again lambasts the official, and then sets up TTS for the Double Bass DDT, but it is countered. TTS executes a Nothern Lights suplex!
1...
2...
- Kick out! TTS looks shocked. He seems poised to hit the Pile-Up but Headbanger realises the danger and scrambles under the bottom rope to the outside.
Hoss: Headbanger knew it would've been over had TTS hit that.
- TTS follows him outside, but Headbanger manages a drop toe hold which sends TTS face first into the steel steps. He rolls him back into the ring, and climbs the turnbuckles. Headbanger waits for TTS to get up, before nailing a blockbuster! He makes a nonchalant cover.
1...
2...
- TTS again kicks out!
Hoss: Wow, how tough is TTS! That would've put a lesser man away, surely!
King: You can never count the guy out, that's for sure.
- Headbanger screams in frustration, before again going to the outside. He grabs his tag title belt, and enters the ring with it.
Hoss: Uh-oh. I don't like where this is going.
- Headbanger screams at TTS to get up, but the referee wrestles the belt away from his grip. Headbanger gets in his face, but turns around straight into a Pile-Up from TTS!
1...
2...
3!
Here is your winner...TTS!
Hoss: He did it. TTS avenged the loss at Saved By The Bell, and now he's in the Inter-Forum Title rankings!
King: Headbanger uncharacteristically lost his focus there. But let's not take anything away from The Voodoo Lawyer, that is a big win right there.
- TTS celebrates all the way down the ramp, as Headbanger recovers in the ring. He is irate.
Sarah Nakatomi: Welcome to Nakatomi Plaza.
Boiler Room Brawler plops into one of the chairs to Sarah Nakatomi's uneasy chagrin.
BRB: Glad to be here, much nicer than my Boiler Room.
Sarah Nakatomi: So how does it feel to be both the Hardcore and the Inter-Forum Champion of the WWCF?
BRB: It feels pretty damn good! I have brought pride to The Family as will my comrade Jay Carroll when he faces Sparks tonight.
Sarah Nakatomi: What about the Championship of Honor? Are you going to go after that belt too?
BRB: Sarah, I sought after this belt...
Brawler jiggles the Inter-Forum Championship belt on his shoulder.
BRB: for all of this time. But I got this belt...
Brawler jiggles the Hardcore Championship belt on his other shoulder.
BRB: Along the way. Ya see, Sarah, I am six feet, three hundred and forty pounds of unstoppable power! Belts come easy for guys like me when given the chance.
Sarah Nakatomi: Do they now?
BRB: Yes they do. There're very few pinfalls and very few submissions on my record, little lady.
Sarah Nakatomi: But Jonathan Michaels did make you tap out at Botch at the Beach last year in one of his first Hardcore Championship defenses.
BRB: ... Yes... He did... But there were friggin' piranhas and jellyfish in that moat around us! You would tap, he would tap, DR Jackson would tap, and even me, BRB, would tap out to piranha bites and jellyfish stings.
Sarah Nakatomi: Speaking of DR Jackson, he gets a thirty day rematch clause as former Inter-Forum Champion. The last holder, M.O.P., did not capitalize on this but do you think that DR Jackson will?
BRB: Damn right he will! And you can be rest assured that he's going to see the business end of my big, massive, pipe wrench come that match.
Sarah Nakatomi: Speaking of your big, massive, pipe wrench, the fans are now cheering for you but do you think that you have lost your edge?
BRB: Lost my edge? I have two of the company's belts! I have the Inter-Forum Belt, which is second only to the World Title and I have the very belt that your boyfriend fought and made a ratings winner as well as a headache for our CEO Seth Drakin.
Sarah Nakatomi: How do you think Seth Drakin will react to you holding a belt that he respects?
BRB: He's going to have to face reality that the Hardcore Championship produces good wrestlers. While I'm not currently pursuing the Championship of Honor, it actually amuses me that Michaels won it. For all of Drakin's efforts to bury the Hardcore Championship, the former Hardcore Champion steps up and claims Drakin's alternative prize. Ha!
Sarah Nakatomi: So you're basically saying that you are against Seth Drakin?
BRB: Hell yes I am! Why do you think that I joined The Family?
Sarah Nakatomi: To reunite with The Sam for a second chance?
BRB: Watch it!
Sarah Nakatomi: Let me reword that: You were left to flounder in the midcard after Aaron Enigma exposed D-Day Dave and The Sam as the Corporate traitors. You are now reunited with The Sam, Littlenaitch, and the Pain Train Tyfo. Doesn't that look like a reunion to you?
BRB: You may have a point. The Sam talked me into it because The Family doesn't believe that Seth Drakin is the future that the WWCF needs and we are going to prove it to the fans out there one pinfall at a time.
Sarah Nakatomi: But wouldn't you think that your goals will be better received if you have the World Championship within the Family?
BRB: Heavy Metal Hollywood are the yin to The Family's yang. I have the Inter-Forum and Hardcore Championships but they have the World Championship and the Tag Team Championship belts. That's three to two, and they have three guys with belts while The Family has me, BRB, with two belts. It's complicated math.
Sarah Nakatomi: Can Jay Carroll claim the belt for Littlenaitch from Sparks tonight?
BRB: Jay Carroll won the Heatz! Championship in his very first match! You are talking about a man who squeaked out a win against me, BRB, in the first round of the Championship of Honor! And you are talking about Sparks who has done... Nothing. He's been feuding with Amigo forever and gotten nowhere. He joined Heavy Metal Hollywood because they needed a new bassist. Jay Carroll is going to take Sparks for a ride in front of millions of people watching from home and in front of thousands out there in the arena tonight.
Sarah Nakatomi: What if Jay Carroll loses and "King" Bio-Dome retains the belt because of Sparks?
BRB: If you want to journey to fantasyland, I'll play. If Jay does not win that belt for Littlenaitch, Tyfo is Mr. Money in the Bank. He is The Family's insurance policy. Any day now the Pain Train will burst onto the Main Event scene and claim the World Championship from "King" Bio-Dome if Jay doesn't deliver.
Sarah Nakatomi: Why don't you take the belt from "King" Bio-Dome yourself if you're so unstoppable?
BRB: I am unstoppable, make no mistake about that, but I have always known my spot, my role, my place. I don't rock the boat any more than I feel that I have to. Littlenaitch and Tyfo, The Southwest Connection, are all that The Family currently needs to compete in the main event scene.
Sarah Nakatomi: That's all the time that we have for Nakatomi Plaza, thank you for being on here.
BRB: Eh, don't get too comfortable, or else the Boiler Room is going to have to crash this party!
Sarah Nakatomi: What if the Truth Coalition shows up with The Classroom!
BRB: Don't get me started.
Official Ranking Match: D-Day Dave V. The Smokin‘ Vokoun
Michael Muffer: Ladies and gentleman, the following contest....is set for one fall.....
*Saints Of Los Angeles*
Michael Muffer: From Kansas City, along with his valet Alexa Anderson. Weighing in a 235 pounds....he is the co-holder of the WWCF World Tag Team Champions and representing Heavy Metal Hollwood......D-DAY DAVE!!!!
Dave walks out with Alexa and his flying V guitar in one hand and his Tag team belt in the other. He is head banging to his theme music. And of course, huge pyro goes off. The crowd boos him LOUDLY which Dave just smirks and laughs at*
Tim Hoss: Jess, I really hate this guy's smugness. I don't blame anyone for hating this guy. What do you think Jess...Jess?
Jesse King: ....oh, what did you say? I wasn't listening. I was staring at Alexa.
Michael Muffer: And his opponent.....
*Sinnerman*
Michael Muffer: From Chicago, Illinois. Weighing in at 280 pounds.....SMOKIN VOKOUN!!!!
The crowd gives Vokoun a big pop, even though a few people are booing still. Vokoun walks out slowly and looks confused at the reaction that he is getting. He still glares at the crowd,but is still getting mostly cheered.
Tim Hoss: Look at Vokoun, Jess. He's getting a positive reaction from the crowd. I don't think he knows how to respond to this ovation.
Jesse King: Gorilla, Vokoun doesn't care if the fans love him or hate him. All he wants to do is destroy D-Day Dave.
- As Vokoun gets in the ring, Dave runs out. Vokoun screams at Dave to get back in the ring, but Dave just talks to Alexa on the outside. Then an angry Vokoun reaches down and pulls Dave's hair and pulls him into the ring. And the bell rings.
Jesse King: Hey that's not right! He can't do that to D-Day Dave. This guy is nuts!!
Tim Hoss: Jess, you know darn well that Smokin Vokoun desperately needs this win, and desperate men do desperate things.
Jesse King: That's easy for you to say.
- Vokoun starts throwing punches and forearms on Dave, he then shoots him into the ropes and Vokoun hits a STIFF lariat. That move got a big pop and Vokoun looks around and again looks confused at the reaction.
Tim Hoss: I don't think Vokoun was ready for this kind of ovation. But right know, he's got to focus on his man in the ring.
- Vokoun then picks up Dave, who tries to fight back. He gains control for a second and throws Vokoun in the corner and starts punching him, but it has little affect on Vokoun. Smokie screams and chokes Dave and throws him into turnbuckle and throws some forearms and then hits the Belly to Belly Suplex. Vokoun is fired up big time. D-Day Dave tries to get to his feet. Vokoun goes for the Mandible claw, but Dave sees this coming and gets out of the ring.
- Vokoun follows him out of the ring, but Dave sees this runs around the ring and stops Vokoun in his tracks by hiding behind Alexa.
Tim Hoss: Oh come on!!! What a coward Dave is...hiding behind a woman!!!
Jesse King: That's a smart move there, Gorilla. It stops Vokoun in his tracks. He may be a psycho, but even he wouldn't touch a woman.....oh I spoke to soon.
- Vokoun lifts Alexa in the air and continues chasing after Dave. Dave enters the ring first and Vokoun follows. Dave then starts laying the boots to Vokoun. Dave lets Vokoun get up and he runs the ropes and hit's the scissors kick. Dave goes for the cover...
1
2
KICKOUT!!
- Vokoun powers out of the cover. This shocks D- Day Dave and lets Vokoun get up. He goes for the drop kick, but Vokoun won't go down. Dave again goes for drop kick again but Vokoun still won't go down. He then runs the ropes and goes for a Flying Body Press but Vokoun catches him. Vokoun then lifts him in the air puts him on his shoulders and hits a Samoan Drop. He goes for the cover.
1
2
KICKOUT!!
Tim Hoss: One thing you can't take away from the Tag Team Champ is that he is tough to beat. It's gonna take more than that to beat Dave.
Jesse King: The more this match goes, the more it favors Dave, Gorilla.
- Vokoun picks up Dave, who seems very dazed. Vokoun then throws Dave into the ropes and hits another Belly to Belly. He lets Dave stand up, setting up for a Lariat. But before he can run, Alexa grabs Vokoun's foot. Vokoun walks out of the ring to confront Alexa. However, Dave gets on the top rope and hit's Smokie from behind with a Flying Double Ax Handle and Vokoun goes down.
Tim Hoss: That was a huge mistake for Vokoun, you should never turn your back against a veteran like D- Day Dave.
Jesse King: It looks like Dave is in control, as it should be. A rookie has no business beating a veteran like D- Day Dave.
- Dave shoots Vokoun back into the ring. He taunts the crowd to a loud chorus of boos. He stomps on Vokoun and then picks him up. He Irish Whips Vokoun into the ropes and hits his own Belly to Belly Suplex. He goes for the cover.
1
2
KICKOUT!!
- Dave then picks up Vokoun and starts laughing and slapping him in the face. He staggers Vokoun with a stiff Upper cut and then hit's a suplex on Vokoun. He taunts the crowd again and then turns Vokoun over and puts on a Modified Boston Crab.
Jesse King: This could be over Gorilla. Vokoun hasn't been in many submission holds in his short career.
Tim Hoss: Jess, I seriously doubt that Vokoun will quit. I don't think he's ever learned the word.
-The crowd gets louder as Vokoun starts to fight out of the Boston Crab. He gets to the ropes, as ref John Creed tries to get Dave off him. Dave then starts jawing with Creed. He then signals that he wants to end it right now. He pulls Vokoun into the center of the ring. He crosses Vokoun's arms and puts on The Encore. He drops back and lets his knees dig into Vokoun's back and wrenches back.
- Vokoun is screaming in pain while in the hold. However, he is starting to fight out of it. Vokoun is able to stand and the crowd starts getting louder and louder. Vokoun starts pulling his own arms from his neck and BREAKS THE HOLD!! Dave looks stunned and tries to fight back but Vokoun starts punching him relentlessly. He tries to throw him into the ropes but Dave reverses it and runs into John Creed,who gets knocked down.
-Vokoun and Dave continue to brawl back and forth. Dave goes for a punch, misses and Vokoun goes behind him and hits a German Suplex. He then signals to the crowd that he wants to end the match. He then throws Dave into the turnbuckle. Vokoun goes up to the top rope and hits the Smoke Bomb and goes for the pin....but there is no referee.
-Smokie then goes to wake up the ref. Alexa throws a the V guitar into the ring. Dave gets up and grabs the guitar. He sets up while Vokoun is still trying to wake up the ref. Vokoun turns around and BAM!!! Vokoun gets hit by Dave's guitar. Dave then goes down for the cover.
Tim Hoss: NO NO DAMN IT!! IT CAN'T GO DOWN LIKE THIS. Don't end a great match like that!!!
Jesse King: Well, Gorilla, that's the way it goes.
John Creed finally wakes up and starts to make the cover.
1
2
.....
Creed stops and looks around him and sees Guitar shards all around him. He then stands up and rings the bell. Dave gets up and celebrates like he won the match. Creed walks over to Michael Muffer.
Michael Muffer: Ladies and gentleman....refeere John Creed has made a decision. The winner.....as a result of a disqualification....SMOKIN VOKOUN!!!!!!
Jesse King: What!? How can John Creed do that? He didn't see Vokoun get hit...he has no right to do that.
Tim Hoss; Jesse, you realize that there is only one person that would have had used a guitar to hit someone. He made a great call. A well deserved win for Smokin Vokoun. Of course, Dave isn't gonna take this laying down.
While Dave and Alexa argue with the ref about the decison... Vokoun sits up. His face is all bloody from the guitar shot. He looks at himself and sees the blood. He glares at Dave and gets up. Dave is still yelling as Vokoun just waits for D-Day Dave to turn around. Dave does and looks dismayed at what he sees.....Vokoun screams and puts on the Mandible Claw on Dave and goes insane as the crowd explodes!
- Then all of a sudden, The Headbanger Man runs out with the Heavy Metal Express security team. He gets into the ring and hits Vokoun with a steel chair. It breaks up the hold but this only makes Vokoun mad. Dave, Headbanger and Alexa run out of the ring and out of the ringside area. Vokoun starts to give chase, but is stopped by the security team. But Vokoun then beats up the entire team and continues to run after the Heavy Metal Express.
Tim Hoss: Looks like the Heavy Metal Express are trying to get the hell out of dodge!!! They are trying to leave the arena!!!
Jesse King: If they can, Gorillia. Smokin Vokoun is out for revenge and blood!!!
- We then see the trio of Dave, Headbanger and Alexa run down the locker room halls but Vokoun still runs after them and then grabs a lead pipe. The three then reach to parking lot and they get into the limo in a hurry. But before the limo can drive off. Vokoun catches up and starts pounding on the limo with the lead pipe, even breaking some windows and cracking the windshields.
The limo finally drives off as Vokoun throws the pipe at the limo as it drives off in the night. We see Vokoun all bloody and crazed looking just stares like he's in a trance.
"Too Black..."
The crowd begin a loud boo.
"Too Strong...
Jesse King: Oh great...
"Damn Right!"
Big Show-esque pyro
Bring Tha Noise - Public Enemy Feat. Anthrax
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Wow Jesse, in a night pretty much dedicated to the midcard ranking, it appears we now get to hear from the man who is temporarily the actual number one contender!
Jesse King: What are you on about? He lost, he's a loser!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Yeah, but as the former champion, he is obligated to a rematch!
DR Jackson slowly steps out to the ramp with a tremendous scowl across his face, visibly distraught from his title loss last week. He glares across at the fans as he slowly walks down to the ring.
Michael Muffer: Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing at this time... the FORMER Inter-Forum Champion, "Damn Right" Jackson!
Jesse King: I love life sometimes...
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Up until you find a mirror?
DR Jackson gets right into the face of Michael Muffer yelling at him for calling him the former champion, "Get out of MY RING! you hack!", the crowd really start to give Jackson hell, a "Brawler" chant breaks out.
DR Jackson: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Shut... THE HELL... UP! I'm sick of this, I'm sick of all of you, I'm sick of all this politicking bulls*** that goes on here each and every week!
I admit it, I lost the match to Brawler fair and square, doesn't mean he isn't the luckiest man alive, but the fact of the matter is he beat me. However I can gauren-DAMN-tee you that if you asked him yourself, he'll tell you it was the toughest match of his LIFE! The Black Dynasty gave him more hell than he ever had to handle, and although the man who is single handedly ushering in the Era of Attitude came up short... Boiler Room Brawler will gladly admit that I DESERVE ovation, congratulation, praise, honor and some GODDAMN RESPECT for my performance last week.
But no, I step out here to you guys and you IMMEDIATELY shower me in boos? Are you guys blind? Are you too blind to see what I am, what I MEAN to that title and this whole freaking company? Too blind to see that I put on the performance of the night for you people without asking for anything return beyond recognition? No, it's not that at all. You guys are not blind...
You are simply scum, racists, fascists who refuse... REFUSE to give someone of my class any positive notice. I used to think it was because you were all simply too scared to accept the changing of the times... I used to think you guys simply didn't know HOW to react to someone different making a difference based on your own ignorance. But now, my performances as of late transcend fear, transcend ignorance... I understand now, you are all simply heartless!
Pathetic, heartless little worms like Jesse King over there, who truly believe what they support is the true way of life and anything that is just slightly different to their vision is nothing more than garbage. No... you guys are what's garbage. I am the ONE MAN, ONE ARMY BLACK DYNASTY! I am SINGLE HANDEDLY ushering in a NEW ERA of Attitude...
I am YOUR HERO, you people NEED people like me to protect you from the harsh realities that are your own lives, Mr. Richard Belding was able to see this. You people need me to be your hero-
Suddenly "Damn Right" Jackson is cut off but the titantron cutting to static, the static eventually fades out and old footage of the early days in the WWCF are shown, footage of The Family wrecking havoc over everyone, their tyranny leading to the formation of the Story, which then lead to the formation of The Neighbourhood Watch Committee, leading to Pride, Corporate, Cult Chaos... Simply the Stable Wars going in full swing. The footage comes to a close with the text "LOVE YOUR HATE".
Suddenly newer footage is shown of the all of those stables falling apart, member by member. Some of which were to fade into obscurity never to be seen again, some of the more prominant superstars remained however they couldn't really hold it together much longer whilst the newer stars take over. This ends with the text reading "YOUR FAITH, LOST".
Lastly footage is shown of the current wave of superstars, showing how simply evil some can be, the main footage highlighted is Viva Los Bio Dome joining Heavy Metal Express, becoming King then Champ followed by him retiring Aaron Enigma, then the next highlighted footage is "Damn Right" Jackson's mean streak with him taking up stars like Motor-Colt, M.O.P., Starshine, BRB, Yellow Jacket and Jesse King... "YOU ARE NOW ONE OF US"...
This is how the WWCF ends, not with a bang... but with a whimper...
"Damn Right" Jackson is staring at the Titantron full of rage at him being interrupted.
DR Jackson: What the hell was that? Who did that? Who's behind this! Who has the audacity to interrupt The Black Dynasty...
You Asked For It - Mercyful Fate
Boiler Room Brawler steps out to a thunderous ovation with both the Hardcore and Inter-Forum Championship over each shoulder, he couldn't look happier.
DR Jackson: BRB, figures you'd be behind all this! Explain yourself!
BRB: Jackson, I'll give you this: You did give me the toughest match of my life. And after the toughest match of my life, I now hold the Inter-Forum and the Hardcore Championships, and when you have your rematch at [next PPV], you can bet that you will be finished.
But I don't disturb the dead. I didn't make that video package. Judging from appearances, that could have been just about anyone in the locker room who made that, but it wasn't me, BRB.
DR Jackson: You know what Brawler? I'm sick of you, I'm sick of your fans, I'm sick of what you represent... I would be a much happier man if I never had to put up with you again, the sooner you're out of my life... the better.
So here's some news for you, you're right. I do get a scheduled rematch, however I will NOT wait until the end of the month to cash it in. Because I'm taking my rematch... NEXT WEEK! So I hope you enjoy making history as the shortest reigning Inter-Forum Champion of all time!
BRB: Next week? Looks like the fans agree with you for once.
It'll be the rematch of a lifetime next week when we face off for once and for all. And after the smoke clears Jackson, after you've seen the business end of my big, massive, pipe wrench, I'll be neither enemy nor friend, just your Inter-Forum Champion, Damn Right!
Main Event
Jay Carroll V. Sparks
Gorilla Tim Hoss: We're back with the main event now, King.
Jesse King: And what a main event! It is finally Sparks' chance to shine!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: And Carroll's too. These two men are headlining Niteraw quite possibly for the first time together. But let's join Michael Muffer at ringside...
Michael Muffer: Now entering the ring, hailing from Philadelphia, PA, weighing in at 215lbs, Jay Carroll!
Jay Carroll heads over to the ring as the fans generally cheer.[/color]
Michael Muffer: And his opponent...
"Caught In A Web" by Dream Theater hits the speakers as the fans boo.[/color]
Michael Muffer: Hailing from Sevierville, TN, weighing in at 216lbs...
Sparks makes his way down the ramp to the ring.
Michael Muffer: Sparks!
Sparks scowls at the fans as he turns his attention to Carroll. Sparks is in a squatting position with his hands on the mat in wait.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: The spotlight is on these two men tonight, King. A star may be born.
Jesse King: Don't be so poetic, Gorilla.
Referee Lloyd McFloyd starts the match. Carroll walks over and locks up with a standing Sparks.
Jesse King: Are you saying that Sparks is not already a star?
Sparks wins the grapple, arm dragging Carroll to his side and leg dropping him on the arm.
Jesse King: He is a part of Heavy Metal Hollywood; do you know what Heavy Metal Hollywood has?
Sparks tries to lock in an arm bar but Carroll slips out and is back on his feet. Sparks returns to his squatting position.
Jesse King: They have WWCF World Championship and the WWCF Tag Team Championships.
Sparks stands up and converges with Carroll, the two men trading punches back and forth, but Carroll starts to win out with a series of side punches, finishing it with a lariat that knocks Sparks over.
Jesse King: And do you think that he would have been chosen to represent them if "King" Bio-Dome saw nothing in him?
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Well...
Sparks thrusts his leg out and trips Carroll and then backs up to the corner, returning back to his squatting position.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Neither of these men has been a consistent main eventer...
Sparks stands up, as does Carroll. They run at each other, with Carroll throwing a kick at Sparks but Sparks catches it.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: And this is their chance to show the world just what they can do.
Carroll jumps up for an enzuigiri, but Sparks ducks it by returning to his squatting position and shoves Carroll backwards into the ropes. Carroll rebounds to Sparks who stands up, grabs him by the head, jumps up, and slams Carroll facefirst into the mat.
Jesse King: Enough with this, look at that mat slam by Sparks!
Sparks turns Carroll over for the pin. Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts 1... Carroll kicks out and gets back up as Sparks returns to his squatting position.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Sparks has been called a one-note wrestler in the past; all hardcore, no technique...
Sparks stands up and grapples with Carroll. He locks his arm behind Carroll's head, lifts him up, and snap suplexes him to the mat.
Jesse King: Smooth moves by Sparks...
Sparks rolls back into his squatting position as Carroll musters a situp. Sparks stands up, runs over, and kicks Carroll right in the face, knocking him back down.
Jesse King: That's gotta hurt, Gorilla!
Sparks squats down and goes for the pin. Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts 1... 2... Carroll kicks out.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: But not enough, King.
Sparks goes for the pin again, this time locking in a leg. Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts 1... Carroll reaches for the ropes. Referee Lloyd McFloyd makes Sparks get off of Carroll.
Jesse King: Oh would you look at that, TH? Carroll has to us those ropes as a crutch!
Carroll returns to his feet as Sparks returns to his squatting stance.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: I seem to remember that being a page right out of your playbook, King.
Carroll runs up to Sparks and drives his knee into Sparks's face before Sparks can stand back up, knocking him over.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: A running knee, Jesse. I think that Carroll read your book.
Jesse King: Yeah, well we'll see how well that works for him. This is Sparks's chance to shine, not Carroll's...
Sparks returns to his squatting stance as Jay Carroll runs up to him again, jumps straight up, locks his legs around Sparks's head, and pulls him into a standing position and then down to the mat headfirst.
Jesse King: Aha! A huricanrana wasn't part of my playbook!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Well Carroll can't have just read your book.
Jesse King: And what's that supposed to mean?
Carroll mounts Sparks after the huricanrana and lays a knife edge chop to Sparks's chest.
Crowd: Woo!
Jesse King: The crowd is paying homage to "The Nature Boy" Ric Rogers...
Carroll lays another knife edge chop to Sparks's chest with his other hand.
Crowd: Woo!
Carroll rolls backwards off of Sparks into a standing position.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: What a smooth movement by Carroll.
Carroll jumps up and drops down to drive his elbow into Sparks's leg, but Sparks narrowly rolls out of the way and returns to his squat stance.
Jesse King: But Sparks isn't going to go down that easily.
Carroll does a low dropkick to Sparks's face, knocking him through the ropes.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Carroll is showing up Sparks tonight!
Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts one.
Crowd: One...
Sparks gets back up and stands there to recover. Carroll backs up. Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts two.
Crowd: Two...
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Carroll looks like he's going to go for some high risk action here...
Carroll runs towards Sparks, jumps up, using the ropes for leverage, and high vault presses himself onto Sparks, knocking him over. Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts three.
Crowd: Three...
Gorilla Tim Hoss: A high vaulting press by Jay Carroll!
Jay Carroll gets up and stomps on Sparks. Sparks tries to get up but Carroll doesn't let up. Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts four.
Crowd: Four...
Jesse King: Sparks has to get out of there! He's been through worse, this is nothing!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Or maybe there's more to Jay Carroll than we've seen in some time.
Carroll throws a stomp but Sparks catches the foot and shoves him backwards, making him lose his footing. Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts five.
Crowd: Five...
Jesse King: There you go Sparks, there you go!
Sparks returns to his squatting stance as Carroll stands up. Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts six.
Crowd: Six!
Sparks leaps into action, as does Carroll. Both men converge with Sparks Irish whipping Carroll into the guardrail. Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts seven.
Crowd: Seven!
Sparks stands up, grabs the ropes, climbs up to the apron, and jumps over the top rope back into the ring, turning around to face Jay Carroll and returning to his squatting stance. Jay Carroll gets onto his side. Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts eight as Sparks climbs the turnbuckle.
Crowd: Eight!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Carroll better hurry up and get back in that ring!
Sparks turns around while on top of the turnbuckle.
Jesse King: Sparks, don't do it! This match is yours!
Sparks jumps backwards off of the turnbuckle, landing on Carroll and knocking him over. Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts one.
Crowd: One...
Jesse King: Sparks, you fool!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: This is Sparks's day in the limelight and that may get to his head tonight.
Sparks climbs the ring steps and jumps off, landing legfirst onto Carroll as Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts two.
Crowd: Two...
Gorilla Tim Hoss: A legdrop off the ring steps by Sparks...
Sparks stomps on Carroll. Carroll rolls over from the impact. Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts three.
Crowd: Three...
Sparks picks up Jay Carroll, locks his arm around the back of Carroll's head, lifts him up, and goes for a snap suplex, but Carroll catches himself on his feet, grabs Sparks by the neck, and drops down as Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts four.
Crowd: Four!
Jesse King: No! Not another tie!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Carroll with a neckbreaker reversal to Sparks's snap suplex!
Both men lay on the ground as Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts five.
Crowd: Five...
Jesse King: If Sparks had only not leaped out off of the turnbuckle...
Crowd: Let's go Carroll!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: But let's give both men for giving this their all tonight.
Crowd: Let's go Sparks!
Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts six as both men begin to stir.
Crowd: Let's go Carroll! Let's go Sparks!
Jesse King: Is this even worth it? No matter who wins, they don't actually get the belt!
Crowd: Let's go Carroll!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: That's only because of the extraordinary circumstances of the Towel Match at Saved by the Bell...
Crowd: Let's go Sparks!
Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts seven as both men are more or less on one knee.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: It is because of this that the contestants, Littlenaitch and "King" Viva Los Bio-Dome have decided to give the spotlight to-
Jesse King: The runts of the litter?
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Oh will you stop it?
Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts eight as Carroll stands up and Sparks is back to his squatting stance.
Crowd: Eight!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Both men are on their feet now!
Jesse King: Go for it Sparks!
Carroll and Sparks run for the ring. Carroll slides back in as Sparks climbs up the ropes and leaps over the top rope as the crowd cheers.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: It's back to the ring for the both of them!
Carroll stands back up, as Sparks is already back in his squatting stance. Sparks stands up and throws a kick at Carroll, to which Carroll ducks and then waistlocks Sparks from behind, lifts up, and drives him backwards into the mat.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Nice German suplex by Carroll!
Carroll holds on for a bridge pin. Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts one.
Crowd: One!
Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts two.
Crowd: Two!
Sparks kicks out.
Crowd: No!
Jesse King: Yes!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Nothing like a high-octane cruiserweight match.
Carroll kicks himself back up as Sparks gets up via the ropes. They stare each other down as they recover.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Might both of these men have met their match tonight?
Jesse King: Imagine how hard they'd be fighting if they were to get the belt themselves!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: After tonight, they might deserve it in the future!
Carroll and Sparks run up to each other, exchanging punches again until Sparks Irish whips Carroll into the corner. Carroll collapses as Sparks runs up for a shoulder block, bashing Carroll into the corner. As Sparks backs up, he Irish whips Carroll into the other corner.
Jesse King: Sparks is making mince meat of Carroll now!
Sparks runs up behind Carroll, drops down, reaches between Carroll's legs, and locks in a school boy pin.
Jesse King: Yes!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: This could be it!
Sparks uses the ropes for leverage as Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts one.
Crowd: One!
Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts two.
Crowd: Two!
Referee Lloyd McFloyd almost counts three but then stands up.
Crowd: Thr-oh...
Referee Lloyd McFloyd makes Sparks get off the ropes.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Nice try there, Sparks, but Referee Lloyd McFloyd is always on the lookout for such underhanded tactics.
Jesse King: Sparks was too obvious about it...
Sparks returns to his squatting stance and creeps over to Carroll.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: That squatting stance of Sparks... Something familiar about it...
Sparks drives his elbow into Carroll's face.
Jesse King: I know what you mean there...
Sparks creeps gets a leg over Carroll's back, mounting him from behind.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: It's very unconventional, but it seems to be getting the job done tonight...
Jesse King: Well, whatever it is, don't stop doing it Sparks.
Sparks locks his hands around Carroll's chin and applies pressure to the back and head.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: A camel clutch.
Carroll reaches out for the ropes with his hands and legs but Sparks extends a leg and pulls forward away from the ropes.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Sparks is moving so deliberately, very exactly.
Jesse King: With purpose. It really is unconventional, perhaps even enough to throw off an opponent, but it is unmistakably familiar.
Sparks continues to apply pressure as Referee Lloyd McFloyd asks Carroll if he gives up, but Carroll refuses.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Sparks is really working Carroll tonight.
Jesse King: I guess that he's trying to show off his ring skills tonight now that he has the limelight. Probably the same reason that he made sure that Carroll wasn't counted out.
Sparks continues applying pressure, but Carroll continues struggling.
Jesse King: Sparks knows that tonight is his best chance to truly impress the crowd, thusly proving himself to be an assett in this company as well as to Heavy Metal Hollywood.
Sparks suddenly rolls himself off of Carroll. He crawls around to Carroll's head and punches it a few times. Carroll lies face down.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: That was weird...
Jesse King: He probably could have made Carroll tap eventually.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: What is Sparks's angle tonight?
Sparks grabs Carroll underneath his arms and drags him to the center of the ring, one squatted step at a time.
Crowd: ...
Jesse King: What in the world is up with Sparks?
Sparks turns Carroll over onto his back. He gets on his knees and hands and backs up. He stamps his fists in anticipation.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: What's he waiting for?
Crowd: ...
Carroll recovers and stands up. Sparks suddenly darts upwards, locking his arm around the front of Carroll's head and then squats again, driving Carroll's back into his knee.
Jesse King: Ha! Nice one by Sparks!
Crowd: ...
Gorilla Tim Hoss: But he still has a hold of Carroll!
Sparks darts upwards again, using the momentum to lift up Carroll and makes him land behind himself on his feet. Sparks maintains his hold of Carroll's head in a rear face lock and drops down, bringing Carroll with him. The crowd suddenly picks up.
Jesse King: Oh! The Coup-De-Grace!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: I didn't see that coming at all!
Jesse King: No one did, especially Carroll!
Sparks goes for the pin, using the ropes as leverage again. Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts one.
Crowd: One!
Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts two.
Crowd: Two!
Referee Lloyd McFloyd looks up and sees Sparks using the ropes again, stands up, and scolds Sparks. Sparks stands up and complains.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Not a wise move by Sparks, but can Jay Carroll capitalize?
Carroll lies there, unstirring.
Jesse King: Not tonight, Sparks has this at this point.
Referee Lloyd McFloyd is stern with Sparks, but Sparks has enough and grabs Referee Lloyd McFloyd, locks his arm around the back of McFloyd's head, lifts him up into the air, then squats down, slamming McFloyd into the ropes. Sparks uses the momentum and leans backwards, slamming McFloyd into the mat. The bell rings as the crowd boos.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Oh no!
Jesse King: Well, now McFloyd knows where Sparks stands on being read the riot act.
Sparks squats in the middle of the ring as the crowd boos.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: But what happens now?
Michael Muffer: Here is your winner, as a result of a Disqualification... Jay Carroll!
The crowd cheers.
Jesse King: Sparks, you moron!
"Caught in a Web" by Dream Theater hits the speakers as the crowd shifts to booing.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Sparks gave up a win for what? He was dominating Jay Carroll!
Jesse King: I don't know what happened to Sparks, but he's pretty darned effective by the looks of it. Carroll is laid out.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Well I'm sure that we'll be hearing from The Family and from Heavy Metal Hollywood next week on Niteraw. This is an outrage!
Jesse King: I am Jesse King and we are signing off! Ha ha!
Writing Credits: Viva Los Bio Dome, Titanothere, Jazzman, Headbanger Man, Jonathan Michaels, BRB, Smokin’ Vokoun, and DR Jackson
Jesse King - Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Monday NiteRaw! I’m Jesse King!
Tim Hoss - And I’m Gorilla Tim Hoss.
Jesse King - We have a huge card tonight, with four matches for WWCF Rankings spots!!
Tim Hoss - Management decided that since the top four names have been busy with other endeavors and ignoring their positions, that they‘ll have to fight to keep them!
Jesse King - Right. Unlike regular rankings matches, if any of the ranked competitors lose, they‘re out!
Tim Hoss - And in addition to that, we have a big main event as The Family‘s Jay Carroll takes on Heavy Metal Hollywood‘s Sparks!
Jesse King - Plus we will here from Jazzman, we have another episode of Nakatomi Plaza, and-
*Paparazzi*
Tim Hoss - And the World Champion is here.
*Viva Los Bio Dome and valet Lisa Garcia make their way to the ring. Viva lifts the ropes for Lisa, and Lisa immediately walks over to the announcer and requests a microphone. Lisa hands Viva the mic, and Viva waits patiently for the boos to subside.*
So, you're gonna boo me before you even hear what I have to say? Well, unfortunately for you, I've got all day. You can either shut up or listen, or I'll patiently wait for the respect a champion deserves.
The crowd boos louder, eventually tapering off and getting about as quiet as a crowd of thousands can.
Alright, listen up. I know you don't like me, and quite frankly, I don't care. The fact of the matter is this: you cannot get enough of me. I am that person you are thinking of when you flip through the gossip rags. I am that person that you hope to see when you log on to Perez Hilton. Lets face it, people, I am everything you wish you were. Your jealousy is disgusting, appalling, laughable, and it's part of the reason I get no respect around here.
It wasn't long ago that I was flying under the radar. Rewind four months back and you'll find I was begging for an opportunity. I would have jumped at a chance to do things the right way. I groveled. I begged Seth Drakin for anything, any opportunity to prove to him that I had the blood of a champion boiling inside of me. What I got instead was shown the door, told I wasn't good enough, and asked not to bother him again.
So what did I do? I did what any rational human being would do. I got his attention however I had to. I broke Ganzo Bombs skull open with a steel chair, and then I took his leg out. What did I get in return? I got called a cheap coward, a sucker. How did I respond to that? I ended the career of one of the most prolific wrestlers ever to walk the ramp here at the WWCF.
I stormed Seth's office. I told him that I wouldn't stop my lust for blood until I got what I wanted, what I deserved. Again, I was shut down. I was told to enter the King of Wrestlecrap tournament and prove I was the hottest commodity in the WWCF. And that's exactly what I did. Over the course of that January, I was riding a hot streak the likes we haven't seen since. I won King of Wrestlecrap, defeating Littlenaitch and Square in the process. I walked out of Parts Unknown Arena the number one contender for the WWCF Championship.
Am I happy with my accomplishments?
*Viva Los Bio Dome looks down at his WWCF Championship title and smiles from ear to ear.*
Heh... yeah. I'm damn satisfied. Unfortunately, I still have an issue that I need to address. You see, Seth has challenged me in every way possible, and I have answered the bell, overcome the adversity, and achieved my goals. Where is the respect? No matter what I prove in this company, I am consistently sold short, while a has been like Littlenaitch tells me I'm not, and a never was named Square is telling me I'm unoriginal.
I never saw Aaron get talked down to like that. I never saw King Colt get talked to like that, and you know what? I'm done. You will speak to me like a true f***ing champion, because that's what I am. You don't like it? Beat me. It's that simple. 'Naitch, as far as I'm concerned, you had your chance. You hit the liquor store for a case of beer and you're a buck short? Well it looks like you ain't partying tonight. Suck it up and f*** off. I'm the star, this is my show, and it's high god damn time I start acting like it.
Unfortunately for everyone backstage, I've had enough of your bulls***. You will speak when spoken to, and you will keep my name out of your mouth otherwise. You're all looking at THE ONE AND ONLY. The Paparazzi Primadonna, the BRIGHTEST A-List Superstar this company has to offer. You're looking at the King of Hollywood.
*Viva motions for the cameraman to step closer.*
Yeah, get a good look, camera jockey. Drink it in, all of you, drink this in. This is the best part yet.
*Viva waits for a few seconds, letting the pictures sink in.*
You're looking at the WWCF World Heavyweight Champion, and that's something you can get used to. Push come to shove, that's how it's going to stay. So you fans, you assholes backstage, and especially you Seth Drakin, can you do me one f***ing favor? I don't ask for much.
GET USED TO IT.
*Viva Los Bio Dome drops the mic and exits the ring. Lisa Garcia is not far behind, and she struggles to catch up as he storms up the ramp and back to the locker room*
Official Ranking Match: Evil M V. Titanothere
Michael Muffer: The following match is set for one fall with a twenty minute time limit. First, from La Brea, California, weighing 366 pounds, the Monster of the Mesozoic Age: Titanothere!
(“Godzilla” by Blue Oyster Cult plays as Titanothere comes from the back. He paws both feet on the ground, lowers his head, and charges down the ramp. He goes up the steps, removing his helmet and pads, before turning to look back towards the stage)
“Gorilla” Tim Hoss: Titanothere with a determined expression on his face. But it’s going to take more than determination for him to beat Evil M tonight.
Jesse King: You’re right there, Gorilla. Evil M needs to win this match if he wants to remain the Number One Contender for the Inter Forum Title.
Muffer: And his opponent, hailing from Parts Unknown, Massachusetts and weighing 320 pounds, Evilllllll M!
(The opening chords to Kane’s original theme play as the ring goes dark, followed by AC/DC’s “Thunderstruck” and a burst of pyrotechnics. A bandaged Evil M walks slowly down the ramp. He steps over the ropes and into the center of the ring, raising both hands and lowering them to set off more of his pyro and bringing the houselights back up)
Hoss: Evil M, wearing the wounds from his Dog Collar Match he and Yellowjacket had last Monday at Saved by the Bell against the Human Hate Machines Square and Amigo.
King: He’s clearly not at full strength. I think he winced just lifting his arms for his pyro!
Hoss: I didn't think Evil M was capable of feeling pain.
(Referee John Creed brings Titan and M to the center of the ring and gives instructions. The bell rings and both men get right to it, exchanging punches before backing off to circle one another warily. Titanothere slowly holds up his hand to issue a challenge of a Test of Strength, and a small cheer erupts from the crowd. Evil M stands stock still for several moments, and the cheering builds. Finally Evil M lifts his arm and grips Titanothere’s raised hand and then grabs the other)
King: Here we go!
(The two go at it, with M getting the early advantage, using the advantage of leverage to push Titan down to his knees. The Monster of the Mesozoic Age shakes his head and the crowd begins to clap. He manages to get up on one leg and then the other. Evil M pulls Titanothere’s arms away from his body and lands a hard kick to the gut, breaking the hold. M begins clubbing at Titanothere, hitting his back as he staggers towards the ropes. M grabs the back of Titan’s head and pushes him to the corner, slamming his forehead against the turnbuckle. Titan stops M from doing it again by elbowing him in the neck)
Hoss: So far this match is about to be expected: two big bruisers each trying to overpower the other.
(Titanothere turns and grabs Evil M before hitting him with a head butt. He follows that up with a knee to M’s taped ribs. When Evil M backs off Titan rushes back to hit the ropes so he can use the momentum for a lariat. The masked monster staggers back but does not go down. Titanothere pushes him back to the ropes and tries another clothesline, flipping M to the outside where he lands on his feet. Evil M glares up at Titan and beckons him to come down and join him)
King: Titan knocked Evil M clear out of the ring and still he won’t go down!
Hoss: Impressive displays of fortitude and agility by Evil M there.
(Titanothere slides under the ropes to get to the outside. Evil M clubs at his opponent before his feet even touch the ground. M then hits a huge throat thrust that snaps Titan’s head back. He grabs Titan by the arm and leads him over to the ring steps and then Irish whips him into them, sending the metal objects flying away from the post and Titan to the floor, where he clutches his head dazedly.)
Hoss: Evil M’s strength combined with Titan’s bulk to launch those steel steps.
King: M used Titanothere like a battering ram, and Titan is definitely feeling it!
(Creed hollers at Evil M to get back in the ring. The Masked Monster hefts up Titanothere and pushes him under the ropes before entering himself. He goes for the pin, but Titan kicks out at one. Evil M stands and pulls Titanothere to his feet. He hits him with another uppercut and grabs Titanothere’s head for a Bulldog, but Titan pushes him away. Evil M stops, pivots, and lands a big boot, halting Titan mid-charge and knocking him to the mat. He goes for the cover and Creed starts the count. One…. Titan gets his shoulder up. Evil M again rises and positions himself behind Titan, his hand up to signal a choke slam. Titanothere slowly gets to his feet, turning and walking right into Evil M’s grip. Before the giant can lift him however Titanothere rams his elbow repeatedly in M’s face, breaking the hold. Titan staggers Evil M with an uppercut and then scoop slams him to the mat)
Hoss: Titan’s starting to rally, Jesse. But can he capitalize after finally getting Evil M off his feet?
(Titan jumps over Evil M, runs to the turnbuckle, and climbs to the second rope. He bounces up and down before connecting with a big splash! He hooks the leg and goes for the pin. Creed counts to one before Evil M kicks out. Both men struggle to their feet, with Evil M obviously favoring his ribs. Titanothere hammers at M’s midsection with a series of body blows, moving him across the ring and backing him into the corner. He charges and slams into Evil M with a body avalanche, then wraps his arms around M and puts him in a bear hug. He lifts Evil M bodily and drags him to the middle of the ring)
Hoss: Titanothere continuing to work on Evil M’s ribs with that bear hug. I’d say the tide has started to turn.
King: Maybe, but he and the rest of us will be waiting long time if he expects the Hardcore Monster to submit. As last Monday’s Dog Collar Match showed, Evil M tolerance for pain is amazing. I think he may even like it!
Hoss: Maybe, but there’s no doubt his injuries are slowing him down. Can Titanothere pull off the upset here and deny Evil M his shot at the Inter Forum Title?
(Evil M shakes his head when Creed asks him if he wants to quit. Titanothere applies more pressure, his arms cinched tightly around his opponent’s ribs. Finally, after striking Titan on the head with several elbows Evil M gets him to release the hold. Dropping to his feet he connects with another throat thrust and pushes Titanothere into the ropes. When Titan rebounds Evil M is ready with a sidewalk slam! He hooks Titan’s leg and grinds his elbow into his face as John Creed makes the count: One… Two… kickout!)
Hoss: Evil M literally giving himself some breathing room as he escapes the bear hug. Now what’s he doing?
(Limping to the corner, Evil M slowly climbs atop the turnbuckle. He waits for Titanothere to stand and then launches himself high in the air in an attempt to hit a diving clothesline. Titan has the move scouted and hits a big boot right into M’s bandaged gut. Evil M sinks to his knees as Titan loses his balance and staggers back)
King: Titanothere saved himself right there! That diving clothesline would have taken his head clean off!
(The Monster of the Mesozoic Age stomps over to the still reeling Evil M. He wraps his arms around M’s and hoists him to his feet)
Hoss: Oh, I think we’re about to witness the Extinction Event, Jesse!
(Titanothere head butts Evil M three times, stunning him. When the Hardcore Monster begins to sag, Titan bends him over and puts him in a waist lock. With a roar he lifts up Evil M and smashes him to the mat with a falling gutwrench power bomb. Titan scrambles to cover, and John Creed makes the count: One…. Two… Three!)
King: I don’t believe it!
Hoss: Believe it, Jesse!
Muffer: Here is your winner: Titanothere!
(Titanothere looks stunned as John Creed holds up his hand. He breaks into a huge smile, climbs a turnbuckle and raises both his fists in victory. The crowd cheers him on)
King: This showboating is just disrespectful. Act like you’ve been here before, rookie!
Hoss: That’s just it, Jesse: Titanothere hasn’t been here before. This may be the biggest win in the young man’s career!
King: Pfft! Some accomplishment: barely beating a man who is still recovering from a brutal Dog Collar Match. If Evil M was at full strength this fight would have gone very differently.
*Feeling Good by Michael Buble comes out as Jazzman makes his way out to the ring. He has a microphone in hand*
Jazzman: Now, I know that you guys are expecting me to come out here tonight, run down Jonathon and say that I was the better man, but that's just not the fact.
I've come out here to make an announcement that I think some people here aren't gonna like, but it's something that needs to be done.
*Jazzman steps a way from the mic as a small "Please Don't Go" chant breaks out*
I hear you guys are saying over there, and honestly, I really thought that this was going to be it. This was going to be the last time you ever saw my face in a WWCF Ring ever again.
*Crowd boos*
But, that was only a thought! You see, I'm sick of being the bad guy, I'm sick of trying to be something I'm not to try and get ahead in this company.
I don't identify with the guys like Amigo and Square, and to be fair, I really don't identify with the new young guys coming up through the system. So really, I'm in a bit of a limbo here.
I don't think I deserve a title match with Viva right now, hell I don't deserve any title shot right now. Jonathon just pinned me, BRB is off doing his thing, and Viva will tell you to your face that he thinks time has passed me and the rest of the guys who have been around here for a while.
So, what does that leave for your old friend Jazzman? Well, it's pretty simple. I promise to each and every one of you here tonight and each of you watching in the comfort of your home one thing.
I'm going back to my old ways, being the man who you knew you could count on night in and night out to be on your lips as you let the arena. I'm in this business not for me anymore, or really not even for the boys in the back. I'm doing this now for you guys. Together, with you guys back behind me, we can do some great things.
I hope you'll accept me, I need to entertain you again.
*Jazzman drops his mic in the ring and leaves to a chorus of cheers from the fans*
Offical Ranking Match: Square V. Yellow Jacket
*To be added later*
Official Ranking Match: Headbanger Man V. TTS
The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 20-minute time limit. If TTS wins, he takes Headbanger Man's place in the Inter-Forum Title rankings!
(Down On Me)
Introducing first, from Davie, Florida, weighing in at 290 pounds..."The Voodoo Lawyer" TTS!
- TTS does his chicken sacrifice ritual, and then poses to the crowd. He receives a nice pop for his trouble.
(We're Not Gonna Take It)
His opponent, from Kent, England, weighing 263 pounds - he is one half of the WWCF Tag Team Champions...THE HEADBANGER MAN!
- Headbanger comes out with the HMH Security and poses with the belt, before they are sent back to the locker room.
"Gorilla" Tim Hoss: Another match with Inter-Forum rankings implications here!
Jesse King: Absolutely Apeman. Headbanger Man has been busier in the tag division in recent times, but he claims that he wants to remain in contention for a singles title as well.
Hoss: True enough, but TTS is looking to get a title around his waist again - this is a very good opportunity to take a step towards that. These two are no strangers, having been involved in that Tag Title match at Saved By The Bell, where the Metal Express just about managed to retain the gold.
King: TTS and Vokoun gave it their all in that one though. Maybe its because they're both crazy, but they did seem to look like a decent tandem.
- Both men lock up. Headbanger gets a waistlock, but TTS backs him into the corner. Headbanger goes for a cheap shot, but TTS blocks it and lands a punch of his own. He executes a whip into the far corner, but eats a boot when he attempts a charge.
- Headbanger grabs a side headlock, but gets pushed off and knocked down with a shoulder. He leapfrogs TTS but telegraphs a back body drop attempt. TTS kicks him, and then clotheslines him out of the ring! Headbanger smacks the apron in frustration.
Hoss: TTS using his power in the early going here. Headbanger Man needs to change his strategy if he's going to keep the big man down here.
King: I used to beat up guys that were twice my size. Of course, being an expert in martial arts helps.
Hoss: You're a martial ass, that much is true.
King: Don't start with me, monkey boy. I'll roundhouse you so fast, your head's gonna spin like you were in The Exorcist!
- TTS tries to bring Headbanger back in, but gets hung across the top rope neck-first. The drummer then scores with a springboard clothesline. He drops a quick knee and makes a cover.
1...
- TTS powers out with relative ease. Headbanger stays on him with a series of right hands. He tries for a crossbody, but gets caught and slammed to the mat. TTS then picks him up and hits a vertical suplex. He thinks about going for a cover, but decides to try another suplex. This time it is countered, and Headbanger hits a series to kicks to the leg of TTS. He goes for one final kick to the head, but TTS is alert, and turns it into a version of a powerbomb.
1...
2...
- Kick out.
Hoss: TTS has been impressive so far. Every time Headbanger thinks he has an advantage, he has managed to come up with a counter.
King: I'd have beaten him by now, Gorilla.
- TTS picks up Headbanger on his shoulders, but gets raked in the eyes. Headbanger then hits a kick to the ribs and a swinging neckbreaker. He drops a couple of elbows to the back, and then chokes TTS in the ropes, as the referee tries to prevent him from doing so.
- Headbanger manages a snapmare takeover, before delivering a stiff boot to the spine. He then hits a Mr Perfect style rolling neckbreaker, and goes for a cover, hooking both legs.
1...
2...
- TTS kicks out again.
Hoss: Headbanger seems to have taken control now, as he tries to keep TTS down for the 3.
King: Its gonna take more than that, Jesse. One of my Bruce Lee kicks would've done the trick.
Hoss: I'm gonna have you removed in a minute!
- Headbanger hits a senton splash, before locking in a camel clutch on TTS.
King: Shades of The Iron Shiek here!
- TTS manages to push himself upwards, but Headbanger responds with crossfaces, before applying more pressure. The crowd chant for The Voodoo Lawyer as he tries to reach the ropes. Headbanger repeatedly tries to stop him from doing so, but eventually the bigger TTS manages to get there. Headbanger releases the hold at the 4 count, before stopping to insult the fans.
- He turns around and receives a punch to the gut from TTS, who soon gets to his feet. TTS lands a few more punches. He whips Headbanger into the ropes but misses with a clothesline, and Headbanger capitalises with a chopblock, followed by a snap DDT.
1...
2...
- TTS again kicks out. Headbanger chastises the referee.
Hoss: The Headbanger Man needs to divert his focus away from the referee and the fans, and instead try to finish TTS!
King: He knows what he's doing, Apeman.
Hoss: Well I'm not sure he's going about things the right way at the moment.
- Headbanger methodically picks up TTS, but is met with a sudden jawbreaker. TTS then gets a second wind, and hits him with a few clotheslines in quick succession, followed by a powerslam!
1...
2...
- Headbanger kicks out. TTS rocks him with a headbutt, and then follows it up with a belly to belly suplex. He then points to the turnbuckles, which the crowd react to positively.
Hoss: TTS could be heading upstairs here! The end may be near.
King: He'd better hurry up then, instead of showing off for these cretins.
Hoss: Man, you're a Grumpy Gus today.
- TTS climbs to the top turnbuckle, but misses with the Doctor's Note. Headbanger crawls into a pin.
1...
2...
- TTS gets the shoulder up.
King: I told you. See, I know what it takes to win a match.
Hoss: And I know how to get you fired. So stop annoying me.
- Headbanger again lambasts the official, and then sets up TTS for the Double Bass DDT, but it is countered. TTS executes a Nothern Lights suplex!
1...
2...
- Kick out! TTS looks shocked. He seems poised to hit the Pile-Up but Headbanger realises the danger and scrambles under the bottom rope to the outside.
Hoss: Headbanger knew it would've been over had TTS hit that.
- TTS follows him outside, but Headbanger manages a drop toe hold which sends TTS face first into the steel steps. He rolls him back into the ring, and climbs the turnbuckles. Headbanger waits for TTS to get up, before nailing a blockbuster! He makes a nonchalant cover.
1...
2...
- TTS again kicks out!
Hoss: Wow, how tough is TTS! That would've put a lesser man away, surely!
King: You can never count the guy out, that's for sure.
- Headbanger screams in frustration, before again going to the outside. He grabs his tag title belt, and enters the ring with it.
Hoss: Uh-oh. I don't like where this is going.
- Headbanger screams at TTS to get up, but the referee wrestles the belt away from his grip. Headbanger gets in his face, but turns around straight into a Pile-Up from TTS!
1...
2...
3!
Here is your winner...TTS!
Hoss: He did it. TTS avenged the loss at Saved By The Bell, and now he's in the Inter-Forum Title rankings!
King: Headbanger uncharacteristically lost his focus there. But let's not take anything away from The Voodoo Lawyer, that is a big win right there.
- TTS celebrates all the way down the ramp, as Headbanger recovers in the ring. He is irate.
Sarah Nakatomi: Welcome to Nakatomi Plaza.
Boiler Room Brawler plops into one of the chairs to Sarah Nakatomi's uneasy chagrin.
BRB: Glad to be here, much nicer than my Boiler Room.
Sarah Nakatomi: So how does it feel to be both the Hardcore and the Inter-Forum Champion of the WWCF?
BRB: It feels pretty damn good! I have brought pride to The Family as will my comrade Jay Carroll when he faces Sparks tonight.
Sarah Nakatomi: What about the Championship of Honor? Are you going to go after that belt too?
BRB: Sarah, I sought after this belt...
Brawler jiggles the Inter-Forum Championship belt on his shoulder.
BRB: for all of this time. But I got this belt...
Brawler jiggles the Hardcore Championship belt on his other shoulder.
BRB: Along the way. Ya see, Sarah, I am six feet, three hundred and forty pounds of unstoppable power! Belts come easy for guys like me when given the chance.
Sarah Nakatomi: Do they now?
BRB: Yes they do. There're very few pinfalls and very few submissions on my record, little lady.
Sarah Nakatomi: But Jonathan Michaels did make you tap out at Botch at the Beach last year in one of his first Hardcore Championship defenses.
BRB: ... Yes... He did... But there were friggin' piranhas and jellyfish in that moat around us! You would tap, he would tap, DR Jackson would tap, and even me, BRB, would tap out to piranha bites and jellyfish stings.
Sarah Nakatomi: Speaking of DR Jackson, he gets a thirty day rematch clause as former Inter-Forum Champion. The last holder, M.O.P., did not capitalize on this but do you think that DR Jackson will?
BRB: Damn right he will! And you can be rest assured that he's going to see the business end of my big, massive, pipe wrench come that match.
Sarah Nakatomi: Speaking of your big, massive, pipe wrench, the fans are now cheering for you but do you think that you have lost your edge?
BRB: Lost my edge? I have two of the company's belts! I have the Inter-Forum Belt, which is second only to the World Title and I have the very belt that your boyfriend fought and made a ratings winner as well as a headache for our CEO Seth Drakin.
Sarah Nakatomi: How do you think Seth Drakin will react to you holding a belt that he respects?
BRB: He's going to have to face reality that the Hardcore Championship produces good wrestlers. While I'm not currently pursuing the Championship of Honor, it actually amuses me that Michaels won it. For all of Drakin's efforts to bury the Hardcore Championship, the former Hardcore Champion steps up and claims Drakin's alternative prize. Ha!
Sarah Nakatomi: So you're basically saying that you are against Seth Drakin?
BRB: Hell yes I am! Why do you think that I joined The Family?
Sarah Nakatomi: To reunite with The Sam for a second chance?
BRB: Watch it!
Sarah Nakatomi: Let me reword that: You were left to flounder in the midcard after Aaron Enigma exposed D-Day Dave and The Sam as the Corporate traitors. You are now reunited with The Sam, Littlenaitch, and the Pain Train Tyfo. Doesn't that look like a reunion to you?
BRB: You may have a point. The Sam talked me into it because The Family doesn't believe that Seth Drakin is the future that the WWCF needs and we are going to prove it to the fans out there one pinfall at a time.
Sarah Nakatomi: But wouldn't you think that your goals will be better received if you have the World Championship within the Family?
BRB: Heavy Metal Hollywood are the yin to The Family's yang. I have the Inter-Forum and Hardcore Championships but they have the World Championship and the Tag Team Championship belts. That's three to two, and they have three guys with belts while The Family has me, BRB, with two belts. It's complicated math.
Sarah Nakatomi: Can Jay Carroll claim the belt for Littlenaitch from Sparks tonight?
BRB: Jay Carroll won the Heatz! Championship in his very first match! You are talking about a man who squeaked out a win against me, BRB, in the first round of the Championship of Honor! And you are talking about Sparks who has done... Nothing. He's been feuding with Amigo forever and gotten nowhere. He joined Heavy Metal Hollywood because they needed a new bassist. Jay Carroll is going to take Sparks for a ride in front of millions of people watching from home and in front of thousands out there in the arena tonight.
Sarah Nakatomi: What if Jay Carroll loses and "King" Bio-Dome retains the belt because of Sparks?
BRB: If you want to journey to fantasyland, I'll play. If Jay does not win that belt for Littlenaitch, Tyfo is Mr. Money in the Bank. He is The Family's insurance policy. Any day now the Pain Train will burst onto the Main Event scene and claim the World Championship from "King" Bio-Dome if Jay doesn't deliver.
Sarah Nakatomi: Why don't you take the belt from "King" Bio-Dome yourself if you're so unstoppable?
BRB: I am unstoppable, make no mistake about that, but I have always known my spot, my role, my place. I don't rock the boat any more than I feel that I have to. Littlenaitch and Tyfo, The Southwest Connection, are all that The Family currently needs to compete in the main event scene.
Sarah Nakatomi: That's all the time that we have for Nakatomi Plaza, thank you for being on here.
BRB: Eh, don't get too comfortable, or else the Boiler Room is going to have to crash this party!
Sarah Nakatomi: What if the Truth Coalition shows up with The Classroom!
BRB: Don't get me started.
Official Ranking Match: D-Day Dave V. The Smokin‘ Vokoun
Michael Muffer: Ladies and gentleman, the following contest....is set for one fall.....
*Saints Of Los Angeles*
Michael Muffer: From Kansas City, along with his valet Alexa Anderson. Weighing in a 235 pounds....he is the co-holder of the WWCF World Tag Team Champions and representing Heavy Metal Hollwood......D-DAY DAVE!!!!
Dave walks out with Alexa and his flying V guitar in one hand and his Tag team belt in the other. He is head banging to his theme music. And of course, huge pyro goes off. The crowd boos him LOUDLY which Dave just smirks and laughs at*
Tim Hoss: Jess, I really hate this guy's smugness. I don't blame anyone for hating this guy. What do you think Jess...Jess?
Jesse King: ....oh, what did you say? I wasn't listening. I was staring at Alexa.
Michael Muffer: And his opponent.....
*Sinnerman*
Michael Muffer: From Chicago, Illinois. Weighing in at 280 pounds.....SMOKIN VOKOUN!!!!
The crowd gives Vokoun a big pop, even though a few people are booing still. Vokoun walks out slowly and looks confused at the reaction that he is getting. He still glares at the crowd,but is still getting mostly cheered.
Tim Hoss: Look at Vokoun, Jess. He's getting a positive reaction from the crowd. I don't think he knows how to respond to this ovation.
Jesse King: Gorilla, Vokoun doesn't care if the fans love him or hate him. All he wants to do is destroy D-Day Dave.
- As Vokoun gets in the ring, Dave runs out. Vokoun screams at Dave to get back in the ring, but Dave just talks to Alexa on the outside. Then an angry Vokoun reaches down and pulls Dave's hair and pulls him into the ring. And the bell rings.
Jesse King: Hey that's not right! He can't do that to D-Day Dave. This guy is nuts!!
Tim Hoss: Jess, you know darn well that Smokin Vokoun desperately needs this win, and desperate men do desperate things.
Jesse King: That's easy for you to say.
- Vokoun starts throwing punches and forearms on Dave, he then shoots him into the ropes and Vokoun hits a STIFF lariat. That move got a big pop and Vokoun looks around and again looks confused at the reaction.
Tim Hoss: I don't think Vokoun was ready for this kind of ovation. But right know, he's got to focus on his man in the ring.
- Vokoun then picks up Dave, who tries to fight back. He gains control for a second and throws Vokoun in the corner and starts punching him, but it has little affect on Vokoun. Smokie screams and chokes Dave and throws him into turnbuckle and throws some forearms and then hits the Belly to Belly Suplex. Vokoun is fired up big time. D-Day Dave tries to get to his feet. Vokoun goes for the Mandible claw, but Dave sees this coming and gets out of the ring.
- Vokoun follows him out of the ring, but Dave sees this runs around the ring and stops Vokoun in his tracks by hiding behind Alexa.
Tim Hoss: Oh come on!!! What a coward Dave is...hiding behind a woman!!!
Jesse King: That's a smart move there, Gorilla. It stops Vokoun in his tracks. He may be a psycho, but even he wouldn't touch a woman.....oh I spoke to soon.
- Vokoun lifts Alexa in the air and continues chasing after Dave. Dave enters the ring first and Vokoun follows. Dave then starts laying the boots to Vokoun. Dave lets Vokoun get up and he runs the ropes and hit's the scissors kick. Dave goes for the cover...
1
2
KICKOUT!!
- Vokoun powers out of the cover. This shocks D- Day Dave and lets Vokoun get up. He goes for the drop kick, but Vokoun won't go down. Dave again goes for drop kick again but Vokoun still won't go down. He then runs the ropes and goes for a Flying Body Press but Vokoun catches him. Vokoun then lifts him in the air puts him on his shoulders and hits a Samoan Drop. He goes for the cover.
1
2
KICKOUT!!
Tim Hoss: One thing you can't take away from the Tag Team Champ is that he is tough to beat. It's gonna take more than that to beat Dave.
Jesse King: The more this match goes, the more it favors Dave, Gorilla.
- Vokoun picks up Dave, who seems very dazed. Vokoun then throws Dave into the ropes and hits another Belly to Belly. He lets Dave stand up, setting up for a Lariat. But before he can run, Alexa grabs Vokoun's foot. Vokoun walks out of the ring to confront Alexa. However, Dave gets on the top rope and hit's Smokie from behind with a Flying Double Ax Handle and Vokoun goes down.
Tim Hoss: That was a huge mistake for Vokoun, you should never turn your back against a veteran like D- Day Dave.
Jesse King: It looks like Dave is in control, as it should be. A rookie has no business beating a veteran like D- Day Dave.
- Dave shoots Vokoun back into the ring. He taunts the crowd to a loud chorus of boos. He stomps on Vokoun and then picks him up. He Irish Whips Vokoun into the ropes and hits his own Belly to Belly Suplex. He goes for the cover.
1
2
KICKOUT!!
- Dave then picks up Vokoun and starts laughing and slapping him in the face. He staggers Vokoun with a stiff Upper cut and then hit's a suplex on Vokoun. He taunts the crowd again and then turns Vokoun over and puts on a Modified Boston Crab.
Jesse King: This could be over Gorilla. Vokoun hasn't been in many submission holds in his short career.
Tim Hoss: Jess, I seriously doubt that Vokoun will quit. I don't think he's ever learned the word.
-The crowd gets louder as Vokoun starts to fight out of the Boston Crab. He gets to the ropes, as ref John Creed tries to get Dave off him. Dave then starts jawing with Creed. He then signals that he wants to end it right now. He pulls Vokoun into the center of the ring. He crosses Vokoun's arms and puts on The Encore. He drops back and lets his knees dig into Vokoun's back and wrenches back.
- Vokoun is screaming in pain while in the hold. However, he is starting to fight out of it. Vokoun is able to stand and the crowd starts getting louder and louder. Vokoun starts pulling his own arms from his neck and BREAKS THE HOLD!! Dave looks stunned and tries to fight back but Vokoun starts punching him relentlessly. He tries to throw him into the ropes but Dave reverses it and runs into John Creed,who gets knocked down.
-Vokoun and Dave continue to brawl back and forth. Dave goes for a punch, misses and Vokoun goes behind him and hits a German Suplex. He then signals to the crowd that he wants to end the match. He then throws Dave into the turnbuckle. Vokoun goes up to the top rope and hits the Smoke Bomb and goes for the pin....but there is no referee.
-Smokie then goes to wake up the ref. Alexa throws a the V guitar into the ring. Dave gets up and grabs the guitar. He sets up while Vokoun is still trying to wake up the ref. Vokoun turns around and BAM!!! Vokoun gets hit by Dave's guitar. Dave then goes down for the cover.
Tim Hoss: NO NO DAMN IT!! IT CAN'T GO DOWN LIKE THIS. Don't end a great match like that!!!
Jesse King: Well, Gorilla, that's the way it goes.
John Creed finally wakes up and starts to make the cover.
1
2
.....
Creed stops and looks around him and sees Guitar shards all around him. He then stands up and rings the bell. Dave gets up and celebrates like he won the match. Creed walks over to Michael Muffer.
Michael Muffer: Ladies and gentleman....refeere John Creed has made a decision. The winner.....as a result of a disqualification....SMOKIN VOKOUN!!!!!!
Jesse King: What!? How can John Creed do that? He didn't see Vokoun get hit...he has no right to do that.
Tim Hoss; Jesse, you realize that there is only one person that would have had used a guitar to hit someone. He made a great call. A well deserved win for Smokin Vokoun. Of course, Dave isn't gonna take this laying down.
While Dave and Alexa argue with the ref about the decison... Vokoun sits up. His face is all bloody from the guitar shot. He looks at himself and sees the blood. He glares at Dave and gets up. Dave is still yelling as Vokoun just waits for D-Day Dave to turn around. Dave does and looks dismayed at what he sees.....Vokoun screams and puts on the Mandible Claw on Dave and goes insane as the crowd explodes!
- Then all of a sudden, The Headbanger Man runs out with the Heavy Metal Express security team. He gets into the ring and hits Vokoun with a steel chair. It breaks up the hold but this only makes Vokoun mad. Dave, Headbanger and Alexa run out of the ring and out of the ringside area. Vokoun starts to give chase, but is stopped by the security team. But Vokoun then beats up the entire team and continues to run after the Heavy Metal Express.
Tim Hoss: Looks like the Heavy Metal Express are trying to get the hell out of dodge!!! They are trying to leave the arena!!!
Jesse King: If they can, Gorillia. Smokin Vokoun is out for revenge and blood!!!
- We then see the trio of Dave, Headbanger and Alexa run down the locker room halls but Vokoun still runs after them and then grabs a lead pipe. The three then reach to parking lot and they get into the limo in a hurry. But before the limo can drive off. Vokoun catches up and starts pounding on the limo with the lead pipe, even breaking some windows and cracking the windshields.
The limo finally drives off as Vokoun throws the pipe at the limo as it drives off in the night. We see Vokoun all bloody and crazed looking just stares like he's in a trance.
"Too Black..."
The crowd begin a loud boo.
"Too Strong...
Jesse King: Oh great...
"Damn Right!"
Big Show-esque pyro
Bring Tha Noise - Public Enemy Feat. Anthrax
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Wow Jesse, in a night pretty much dedicated to the midcard ranking, it appears we now get to hear from the man who is temporarily the actual number one contender!
Jesse King: What are you on about? He lost, he's a loser!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Yeah, but as the former champion, he is obligated to a rematch!
DR Jackson slowly steps out to the ramp with a tremendous scowl across his face, visibly distraught from his title loss last week. He glares across at the fans as he slowly walks down to the ring.
Michael Muffer: Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing at this time... the FORMER Inter-Forum Champion, "Damn Right" Jackson!
Jesse King: I love life sometimes...
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Up until you find a mirror?
DR Jackson gets right into the face of Michael Muffer yelling at him for calling him the former champion, "Get out of MY RING! you hack!", the crowd really start to give Jackson hell, a "Brawler" chant breaks out.
DR Jackson: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Shut... THE HELL... UP! I'm sick of this, I'm sick of all of you, I'm sick of all this politicking bulls*** that goes on here each and every week!
I admit it, I lost the match to Brawler fair and square, doesn't mean he isn't the luckiest man alive, but the fact of the matter is he beat me. However I can gauren-DAMN-tee you that if you asked him yourself, he'll tell you it was the toughest match of his LIFE! The Black Dynasty gave him more hell than he ever had to handle, and although the man who is single handedly ushering in the Era of Attitude came up short... Boiler Room Brawler will gladly admit that I DESERVE ovation, congratulation, praise, honor and some GODDAMN RESPECT for my performance last week.
But no, I step out here to you guys and you IMMEDIATELY shower me in boos? Are you guys blind? Are you too blind to see what I am, what I MEAN to that title and this whole freaking company? Too blind to see that I put on the performance of the night for you people without asking for anything return beyond recognition? No, it's not that at all. You guys are not blind...
You are simply scum, racists, fascists who refuse... REFUSE to give someone of my class any positive notice. I used to think it was because you were all simply too scared to accept the changing of the times... I used to think you guys simply didn't know HOW to react to someone different making a difference based on your own ignorance. But now, my performances as of late transcend fear, transcend ignorance... I understand now, you are all simply heartless!
Pathetic, heartless little worms like Jesse King over there, who truly believe what they support is the true way of life and anything that is just slightly different to their vision is nothing more than garbage. No... you guys are what's garbage. I am the ONE MAN, ONE ARMY BLACK DYNASTY! I am SINGLE HANDEDLY ushering in a NEW ERA of Attitude...
I am YOUR HERO, you people NEED people like me to protect you from the harsh realities that are your own lives, Mr. Richard Belding was able to see this. You people need me to be your hero-
Suddenly "Damn Right" Jackson is cut off but the titantron cutting to static, the static eventually fades out and old footage of the early days in the WWCF are shown, footage of The Family wrecking havoc over everyone, their tyranny leading to the formation of the Story, which then lead to the formation of The Neighbourhood Watch Committee, leading to Pride, Corporate, Cult Chaos... Simply the Stable Wars going in full swing. The footage comes to a close with the text "LOVE YOUR HATE".
Suddenly newer footage is shown of the all of those stables falling apart, member by member. Some of which were to fade into obscurity never to be seen again, some of the more prominant superstars remained however they couldn't really hold it together much longer whilst the newer stars take over. This ends with the text reading "YOUR FAITH, LOST".
Lastly footage is shown of the current wave of superstars, showing how simply evil some can be, the main footage highlighted is Viva Los Bio Dome joining Heavy Metal Express, becoming King then Champ followed by him retiring Aaron Enigma, then the next highlighted footage is "Damn Right" Jackson's mean streak with him taking up stars like Motor-Colt, M.O.P., Starshine, BRB, Yellow Jacket and Jesse King... "YOU ARE NOW ONE OF US"...
This is how the WWCF ends, not with a bang... but with a whimper...
"Damn Right" Jackson is staring at the Titantron full of rage at him being interrupted.
DR Jackson: What the hell was that? Who did that? Who's behind this! Who has the audacity to interrupt The Black Dynasty...
You Asked For It - Mercyful Fate
Boiler Room Brawler steps out to a thunderous ovation with both the Hardcore and Inter-Forum Championship over each shoulder, he couldn't look happier.
DR Jackson: BRB, figures you'd be behind all this! Explain yourself!
BRB: Jackson, I'll give you this: You did give me the toughest match of my life. And after the toughest match of my life, I now hold the Inter-Forum and the Hardcore Championships, and when you have your rematch at [next PPV], you can bet that you will be finished.
But I don't disturb the dead. I didn't make that video package. Judging from appearances, that could have been just about anyone in the locker room who made that, but it wasn't me, BRB.
DR Jackson: You know what Brawler? I'm sick of you, I'm sick of your fans, I'm sick of what you represent... I would be a much happier man if I never had to put up with you again, the sooner you're out of my life... the better.
So here's some news for you, you're right. I do get a scheduled rematch, however I will NOT wait until the end of the month to cash it in. Because I'm taking my rematch... NEXT WEEK! So I hope you enjoy making history as the shortest reigning Inter-Forum Champion of all time!
BRB: Next week? Looks like the fans agree with you for once.
It'll be the rematch of a lifetime next week when we face off for once and for all. And after the smoke clears Jackson, after you've seen the business end of my big, massive, pipe wrench, I'll be neither enemy nor friend, just your Inter-Forum Champion, Damn Right!
Main Event
Jay Carroll V. Sparks
Gorilla Tim Hoss: We're back with the main event now, King.
Jesse King: And what a main event! It is finally Sparks' chance to shine!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: And Carroll's too. These two men are headlining Niteraw quite possibly for the first time together. But let's join Michael Muffer at ringside...
Michael Muffer: Now entering the ring, hailing from Philadelphia, PA, weighing in at 215lbs, Jay Carroll!
Jay Carroll heads over to the ring as the fans generally cheer.[/color]
Michael Muffer: And his opponent...
"Caught In A Web" by Dream Theater hits the speakers as the fans boo.[/color]
Michael Muffer: Hailing from Sevierville, TN, weighing in at 216lbs...
Sparks makes his way down the ramp to the ring.
Michael Muffer: Sparks!
Sparks scowls at the fans as he turns his attention to Carroll. Sparks is in a squatting position with his hands on the mat in wait.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: The spotlight is on these two men tonight, King. A star may be born.
Jesse King: Don't be so poetic, Gorilla.
Referee Lloyd McFloyd starts the match. Carroll walks over and locks up with a standing Sparks.
Jesse King: Are you saying that Sparks is not already a star?
Sparks wins the grapple, arm dragging Carroll to his side and leg dropping him on the arm.
Jesse King: He is a part of Heavy Metal Hollywood; do you know what Heavy Metal Hollywood has?
Sparks tries to lock in an arm bar but Carroll slips out and is back on his feet. Sparks returns to his squatting position.
Jesse King: They have WWCF World Championship and the WWCF Tag Team Championships.
Sparks stands up and converges with Carroll, the two men trading punches back and forth, but Carroll starts to win out with a series of side punches, finishing it with a lariat that knocks Sparks over.
Jesse King: And do you think that he would have been chosen to represent them if "King" Bio-Dome saw nothing in him?
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Well...
Sparks thrusts his leg out and trips Carroll and then backs up to the corner, returning back to his squatting position.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Neither of these men has been a consistent main eventer...
Sparks stands up, as does Carroll. They run at each other, with Carroll throwing a kick at Sparks but Sparks catches it.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: And this is their chance to show the world just what they can do.
Carroll jumps up for an enzuigiri, but Sparks ducks it by returning to his squatting position and shoves Carroll backwards into the ropes. Carroll rebounds to Sparks who stands up, grabs him by the head, jumps up, and slams Carroll facefirst into the mat.
Jesse King: Enough with this, look at that mat slam by Sparks!
Sparks turns Carroll over for the pin. Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts 1... Carroll kicks out and gets back up as Sparks returns to his squatting position.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Sparks has been called a one-note wrestler in the past; all hardcore, no technique...
Sparks stands up and grapples with Carroll. He locks his arm behind Carroll's head, lifts him up, and snap suplexes him to the mat.
Jesse King: Smooth moves by Sparks...
Sparks rolls back into his squatting position as Carroll musters a situp. Sparks stands up, runs over, and kicks Carroll right in the face, knocking him back down.
Jesse King: That's gotta hurt, Gorilla!
Sparks squats down and goes for the pin. Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts 1... 2... Carroll kicks out.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: But not enough, King.
Sparks goes for the pin again, this time locking in a leg. Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts 1... Carroll reaches for the ropes. Referee Lloyd McFloyd makes Sparks get off of Carroll.
Jesse King: Oh would you look at that, TH? Carroll has to us those ropes as a crutch!
Carroll returns to his feet as Sparks returns to his squatting stance.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: I seem to remember that being a page right out of your playbook, King.
Carroll runs up to Sparks and drives his knee into Sparks's face before Sparks can stand back up, knocking him over.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: A running knee, Jesse. I think that Carroll read your book.
Jesse King: Yeah, well we'll see how well that works for him. This is Sparks's chance to shine, not Carroll's...
Sparks returns to his squatting stance as Jay Carroll runs up to him again, jumps straight up, locks his legs around Sparks's head, and pulls him into a standing position and then down to the mat headfirst.
Jesse King: Aha! A huricanrana wasn't part of my playbook!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Well Carroll can't have just read your book.
Jesse King: And what's that supposed to mean?
Carroll mounts Sparks after the huricanrana and lays a knife edge chop to Sparks's chest.
Crowd: Woo!
Jesse King: The crowd is paying homage to "The Nature Boy" Ric Rogers...
Carroll lays another knife edge chop to Sparks's chest with his other hand.
Crowd: Woo!
Carroll rolls backwards off of Sparks into a standing position.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: What a smooth movement by Carroll.
Carroll jumps up and drops down to drive his elbow into Sparks's leg, but Sparks narrowly rolls out of the way and returns to his squat stance.
Jesse King: But Sparks isn't going to go down that easily.
Carroll does a low dropkick to Sparks's face, knocking him through the ropes.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Carroll is showing up Sparks tonight!
Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts one.
Crowd: One...
Sparks gets back up and stands there to recover. Carroll backs up. Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts two.
Crowd: Two...
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Carroll looks like he's going to go for some high risk action here...
Carroll runs towards Sparks, jumps up, using the ropes for leverage, and high vault presses himself onto Sparks, knocking him over. Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts three.
Crowd: Three...
Gorilla Tim Hoss: A high vaulting press by Jay Carroll!
Jay Carroll gets up and stomps on Sparks. Sparks tries to get up but Carroll doesn't let up. Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts four.
Crowd: Four...
Jesse King: Sparks has to get out of there! He's been through worse, this is nothing!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Or maybe there's more to Jay Carroll than we've seen in some time.
Carroll throws a stomp but Sparks catches the foot and shoves him backwards, making him lose his footing. Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts five.
Crowd: Five...
Jesse King: There you go Sparks, there you go!
Sparks returns to his squatting stance as Carroll stands up. Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts six.
Crowd: Six!
Sparks leaps into action, as does Carroll. Both men converge with Sparks Irish whipping Carroll into the guardrail. Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts seven.
Crowd: Seven!
Sparks stands up, grabs the ropes, climbs up to the apron, and jumps over the top rope back into the ring, turning around to face Jay Carroll and returning to his squatting stance. Jay Carroll gets onto his side. Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts eight as Sparks climbs the turnbuckle.
Crowd: Eight!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Carroll better hurry up and get back in that ring!
Sparks turns around while on top of the turnbuckle.
Jesse King: Sparks, don't do it! This match is yours!
Sparks jumps backwards off of the turnbuckle, landing on Carroll and knocking him over. Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts one.
Crowd: One...
Jesse King: Sparks, you fool!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: This is Sparks's day in the limelight and that may get to his head tonight.
Sparks climbs the ring steps and jumps off, landing legfirst onto Carroll as Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts two.
Crowd: Two...
Gorilla Tim Hoss: A legdrop off the ring steps by Sparks...
Sparks stomps on Carroll. Carroll rolls over from the impact. Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts three.
Crowd: Three...
Sparks picks up Jay Carroll, locks his arm around the back of Carroll's head, lifts him up, and goes for a snap suplex, but Carroll catches himself on his feet, grabs Sparks by the neck, and drops down as Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts four.
Crowd: Four!
Jesse King: No! Not another tie!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Carroll with a neckbreaker reversal to Sparks's snap suplex!
Both men lay on the ground as Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts five.
Crowd: Five...
Jesse King: If Sparks had only not leaped out off of the turnbuckle...
Crowd: Let's go Carroll!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: But let's give both men for giving this their all tonight.
Crowd: Let's go Sparks!
Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts six as both men begin to stir.
Crowd: Let's go Carroll! Let's go Sparks!
Jesse King: Is this even worth it? No matter who wins, they don't actually get the belt!
Crowd: Let's go Carroll!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: That's only because of the extraordinary circumstances of the Towel Match at Saved by the Bell...
Crowd: Let's go Sparks!
Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts seven as both men are more or less on one knee.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: It is because of this that the contestants, Littlenaitch and "King" Viva Los Bio-Dome have decided to give the spotlight to-
Jesse King: The runts of the litter?
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Oh will you stop it?
Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts eight as Carroll stands up and Sparks is back to his squatting stance.
Crowd: Eight!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Both men are on their feet now!
Jesse King: Go for it Sparks!
Carroll and Sparks run for the ring. Carroll slides back in as Sparks climbs up the ropes and leaps over the top rope as the crowd cheers.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: It's back to the ring for the both of them!
Carroll stands back up, as Sparks is already back in his squatting stance. Sparks stands up and throws a kick at Carroll, to which Carroll ducks and then waistlocks Sparks from behind, lifts up, and drives him backwards into the mat.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Nice German suplex by Carroll!
Carroll holds on for a bridge pin. Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts one.
Crowd: One!
Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts two.
Crowd: Two!
Sparks kicks out.
Crowd: No!
Jesse King: Yes!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Nothing like a high-octane cruiserweight match.
Carroll kicks himself back up as Sparks gets up via the ropes. They stare each other down as they recover.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Might both of these men have met their match tonight?
Jesse King: Imagine how hard they'd be fighting if they were to get the belt themselves!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: After tonight, they might deserve it in the future!
Carroll and Sparks run up to each other, exchanging punches again until Sparks Irish whips Carroll into the corner. Carroll collapses as Sparks runs up for a shoulder block, bashing Carroll into the corner. As Sparks backs up, he Irish whips Carroll into the other corner.
Jesse King: Sparks is making mince meat of Carroll now!
Sparks runs up behind Carroll, drops down, reaches between Carroll's legs, and locks in a school boy pin.
Jesse King: Yes!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: This could be it!
Sparks uses the ropes for leverage as Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts one.
Crowd: One!
Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts two.
Crowd: Two!
Referee Lloyd McFloyd almost counts three but then stands up.
Crowd: Thr-oh...
Referee Lloyd McFloyd makes Sparks get off the ropes.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Nice try there, Sparks, but Referee Lloyd McFloyd is always on the lookout for such underhanded tactics.
Jesse King: Sparks was too obvious about it...
Sparks returns to his squatting stance and creeps over to Carroll.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: That squatting stance of Sparks... Something familiar about it...
Sparks drives his elbow into Carroll's face.
Jesse King: I know what you mean there...
Sparks creeps gets a leg over Carroll's back, mounting him from behind.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: It's very unconventional, but it seems to be getting the job done tonight...
Jesse King: Well, whatever it is, don't stop doing it Sparks.
Sparks locks his hands around Carroll's chin and applies pressure to the back and head.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: A camel clutch.
Carroll reaches out for the ropes with his hands and legs but Sparks extends a leg and pulls forward away from the ropes.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Sparks is moving so deliberately, very exactly.
Jesse King: With purpose. It really is unconventional, perhaps even enough to throw off an opponent, but it is unmistakably familiar.
Sparks continues to apply pressure as Referee Lloyd McFloyd asks Carroll if he gives up, but Carroll refuses.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Sparks is really working Carroll tonight.
Jesse King: I guess that he's trying to show off his ring skills tonight now that he has the limelight. Probably the same reason that he made sure that Carroll wasn't counted out.
Sparks continues applying pressure, but Carroll continues struggling.
Jesse King: Sparks knows that tonight is his best chance to truly impress the crowd, thusly proving himself to be an assett in this company as well as to Heavy Metal Hollywood.
Sparks suddenly rolls himself off of Carroll. He crawls around to Carroll's head and punches it a few times. Carroll lies face down.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: That was weird...
Jesse King: He probably could have made Carroll tap eventually.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: What is Sparks's angle tonight?
Sparks grabs Carroll underneath his arms and drags him to the center of the ring, one squatted step at a time.
Crowd: ...
Jesse King: What in the world is up with Sparks?
Sparks turns Carroll over onto his back. He gets on his knees and hands and backs up. He stamps his fists in anticipation.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: What's he waiting for?
Crowd: ...
Carroll recovers and stands up. Sparks suddenly darts upwards, locking his arm around the front of Carroll's head and then squats again, driving Carroll's back into his knee.
Jesse King: Ha! Nice one by Sparks!
Crowd: ...
Gorilla Tim Hoss: But he still has a hold of Carroll!
Sparks darts upwards again, using the momentum to lift up Carroll and makes him land behind himself on his feet. Sparks maintains his hold of Carroll's head in a rear face lock and drops down, bringing Carroll with him. The crowd suddenly picks up.
Jesse King: Oh! The Coup-De-Grace!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: I didn't see that coming at all!
Jesse King: No one did, especially Carroll!
Sparks goes for the pin, using the ropes as leverage again. Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts one.
Crowd: One!
Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts two.
Crowd: Two!
Referee Lloyd McFloyd looks up and sees Sparks using the ropes again, stands up, and scolds Sparks. Sparks stands up and complains.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Not a wise move by Sparks, but can Jay Carroll capitalize?
Carroll lies there, unstirring.
Jesse King: Not tonight, Sparks has this at this point.
Referee Lloyd McFloyd is stern with Sparks, but Sparks has enough and grabs Referee Lloyd McFloyd, locks his arm around the back of McFloyd's head, lifts him up into the air, then squats down, slamming McFloyd into the ropes. Sparks uses the momentum and leans backwards, slamming McFloyd into the mat. The bell rings as the crowd boos.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Oh no!
Jesse King: Well, now McFloyd knows where Sparks stands on being read the riot act.
Sparks squats in the middle of the ring as the crowd boos.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: But what happens now?
Michael Muffer: Here is your winner, as a result of a Disqualification... Jay Carroll!
The crowd cheers.
Jesse King: Sparks, you moron!
"Caught in a Web" by Dream Theater hits the speakers as the crowd shifts to booing.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Sparks gave up a win for what? He was dominating Jay Carroll!
Jesse King: I don't know what happened to Sparks, but he's pretty darned effective by the looks of it. Carroll is laid out.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Well I'm sure that we'll be hearing from The Family and from Heavy Metal Hollywood next week on Niteraw. This is an outrage!
Jesse King: I am Jesse King and we are signing off! Ha ha!
Writing Credits: Viva Los Bio Dome, Titanothere, Jazzman, Headbanger Man, Jonathan Michaels, BRB, Smokin’ Vokoun, and DR Jackson