Sunday Night Heatz!!1 - March 7, 2010
4/8/10
Sean Kelly - Welcome to WWCF Sunday Night Heatz!!1
Michael Gettenpill - We have a big show for you tonight! I’m Michael Gettenpill.
Sean Kelly - And I’m Sean Kelly. Tonight on Heatz!!1, we have a battle between ranked competitors in the Inter-Forum Championship rankings, as Mr. Quintana Roo locks up with The General of the Monkey Army!
Michael Gettenpill - We also have a match between two men who have attempted in recent weeks to crack the rankings, Cage King and Sparks!
Sean Kelly - And in our main event, we have WWCF World Tag Team Champions The Heavy Metal Express taking on “Champagne“ Jay Carroll of the Sam Family and one half of the team that will challenge the Champs at Saved by the Bell, TTS!
Michael Gettenpill - However, we also have another match lined up for tonight.
Sean Kelly - That’s right. It will be Xavian Gunn battling Ryan Starshine, but this match has an interesting feel to it.
Michael Gettenpill - For those unaware, Ryan submitted his resignation from the WWCF earlier this week. As a result, tonight will be his final appearance here in the World WrestleCrap Federation.
Sean Kelly - We would like to wish Starshine the best in all his future endeavors.
The General of the Monkey Army V. Mr. Quintana Roo
Jerry Fish - The following contest is set for one fall, with a 15 minute time limit!
*Vogue*
Leon Sharpe leads Quintana Roo to the ring as the crowd showers them both with boos.
Jerry Fish - Introducing first, accompanied by Leon Sharpe, Mr. Quintana Roo!
*King Kong 2004*
The General marches to the ring, Tinkers perched on his shoulder and Bongo the Gorilla by his side.
Jerry Fish - And his opponent, accompanied by his wife Tinkers and Bongo the Gorilla, The General of the Monkey Army!
Tinkers jumps onto Bongo’s back as the bell rings. The General and Roo tie up and jockey for position. Roo gains the upper hand and locks on a side headlock. The General shoots him into the ropes, but Roo bounces back and reapplies the headlock. The General tries to shoot him off again, but Roo holds on, so the General instead drops down and rolls him up!
1!
Kickout and right back to the headlock!
The General stomps the mat in frustration as Tinkers chatters from the apron. Sharpe yells over for her to Shut your flea filled trap, ya filthy chimp!
Hearing this, The General becomes enraged and backdrops Roo to the mat! He then rolls to the outside and chases Sharpe around the ring! Sharpe flees, only to run into Bongo. Seeing the General coming from the other end, Sharpe dives into the ring! The General rolls in after him, only to be scooped up by Roo as Sharpe safely rolls out on the other side of the ring.
Roo positions the General on the top rope for the Snapshot, the General shoves him off and dives onto him with a seated senton! Cover!
1!
2!
Kickout!
The General pulls Roo up and suplex’s him to the mat! He then hooks his legs and locks on the Monkey Wrench! The ref moves into position to check for a submission, but as he does, Sharpe jumps on the apron and cracks The General in the head with his cane! The General releases the hold and crumbles to the mat! Roo quickly drapes an arm over him!
1!
2!
3!
Jerry Fish - Here is your winner, Mr. Quintana Roo!
Sharpe enters and helps Roo up, but Bongo quickly charges the ring, causing Sharpe to bail as a groggy Roo falls back to the mat! Bongo picks the masked athlete up and presses him over the top rope! Sharpe runs over and helps his protégé up as Bongo and Tinkers tend to the General.
Sean Kelly - Roo picks up a win, but to call it tainted would be an understatement!
Michael Gettenpill - Well, I don’t think this is the last Roo or Sharpe have seen of the General or his followers, Sean.
Sean Kelly - We’ll be right back.
*Commercial*
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Sean Kelly - And we’re back!
Michael Gettenpill - The Boiler Room Brawler has sent us a new edition of the Boiler Room, so let’s roll the footage!
BRB: Welcome WWCF fans to another edition of The Boiler Room with me, your Hardcore Champion and host, BRB! Tonight I am joined by none other than Amigo, who is the enemy of last week's guest, Sparks.
Amigo: Quasi-pleasure to be here.
BRB: Last week you were attacked by this newcomer the Hangman. He made you look like a ragdoll to be tossed into the garbage out back.
What happened to you Amigo? Are you gonna stand for this?
Amigo: Are you getting high off this boiler steam? I'm the guy who brought him out to beat up on Evil M and Yellowjacket.
Anyways, this guy, when I was relocated to Mexico, I saw him on a Indy show, and he shine through a wave of incompetence. As such, I hired him in secret, trained him, and now brought him in as my new protoge.
BRB: Last week I had an, heh heh, acquaintance of yours, Sparks, on my show. He had some words for you, but let's hear your side of it. The fans demand it!
Amigo: You know, it's kind of funny. Before he and I crossed paths, who even knew or cared about him? But yet, when I took him under my wing and afterwords, he became nearly a star. However, that was a long time ago, and now his star is fading already!
I have been feeling that very soon, the Stable Wars will begin anew. The Family is starting up again, Heavy Metal Hollywood, my new group, The Turth Coalition and other such things. Sparks, I know your words are your way of begging me to take you back in. Well, I know that in this upcoming war, that I'll need some more men. Henceforth, Sparks, I shall take you under my wing once more.
BRB: Lastly, I'm not one to twist a knife and throw salt on the wounds, but I believe that you were supposed to get a title shot against the seemingly Dead Detective, Aaron Enigma.
But now it's not happening. "Hollywood" Viva Los Bio Dome is now our World Champion and I can see the frustration on your face already, Amigo, so why don't you take it from here?
Amigo: Have you ever seen the masks of Despair and Happiness before in Latin drama? To me, those symbols sum me up quite well now. One one hand, I defeated that jack-off Yellowjacket with ease. On the other, when Sparks interfered with my title match against Jazzman, I was guaranteed a title shot after whoever won the King of Wrestlecrap. Well, Viva won that, as we know, and lost, as we know. So, in theory, that means it was my turn, yes? Well.......WHY THE f*** WASN'T I GIVEN IT LIKE PROMISED?!? Why? WHY DID THAT PUNK TAKE IT AWAY? I knew, I KNEW I could beat Aaron right then and there! But NO! It had to be some f***ing plot from DRAKIN! IT WAS MY TIME ONCE AGAIN, MY TIME! NOT HIS, M.I.N.E! I KNOW IT SETH! I know you hate me for the Wargames! WELL, TOO BAD! You are a damn CEO, not a wrestler anymore, SO DEAL WITH IT, MOTHERf***ER!
So yeah, it's a bit of a pain in the balls.
BRB: That's all the time that I have for you Amigo. You've, uh... certainly said your piece tonight here on the Boiler Room. Thanks for coming.
Amigo: I do my best.
*Commercial*
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Sparks V. Cage King
Jerry Fish - The following contest is set for one fall.
Cage King enters first, rapping an original piece.
Jerry Fish - Introducing first, Cage King!
*Pull Me Under*
Sparks walks out to a huge ovation, carrying Scar with him.
Jerry Fish - And his opponent, Sparks!
The bell rings. Sparks and Cage circle eachother. Eventually, Cage bolts at Sparks and gets back body dropped. He makes the cover.
1...
Kickout.
Sparks grabs Cage by the head and lifts him up, but Cage hits him with an elbow, temporarily stunning him. He turns Sparks around and hits him with a DDT. Cover.
1...
Kickout.
He goes to the side of Sparks and hits him with a standing moonsault and covers him.
1...
Tw--kickout.
He picks Sparks up and sends him into the ropes, but Sparks counters with an enzuguri. Sparks goes up to the top rope. He does a frog splash, but Cage King moves out of the way and Sparks goes face first into the canvas. He writhes in pain as Cage goes for a cover.
1...
Tw--kickout.
Cage lifts Sparks and goes for a Northern Lights suplex, but Sparks lands on his feet, turns Cage around, and drops him with a cutter. Sparks makes the cover.
1...
2...Kickout.
Sparks gets behind Cage and goes for a back suplex, but Cage counters it into a mini Overnight Celebrity. He is winded and slowly makes a cover.
1...
2...
Thr--Kickout.
Cageking can't believe it. He scouls and then makes another cover.
1...
2...
Kickout.
Cageking starts throwing a tantrum. He goes to the outside and starts throwing equipment everywhere. He gets in Tim Hoss's face and yells at him to call the match fairly. As he is doing this, Sparks gets on the top rope. Cage turns around and sees this, but isn't quick enough to react. Sparks leaps off and hits Cage with a diving clothesline, almost knocking Tim Hoss over. The referee starts to count.
1!
2!
3!
Sparks begins to stur.
4!
5!
Sparks tries to his best to move himself to the apron. Cageking is starting to stur.
6!
7!
Sparks manages to roll back into the ring. Cage is starting to crawl to the apron.
8!
Cageking is on the apron. Sparks runs up to him and tries to suplex him back into the ring. Cageking lands safely, turns Sparks around and lifts him up for the Flashing Lights, but Sparks gets out of it and goes for a Spinnerette. Cageking lands and elbows Sparks in the back. He runs the ropes and attempts a clothesline, but Sparks kicks him in the gut. Sparks lifts him up and hits the Spinnerette. He makes the cover.
1...
2...
3!
Jerry Fish - Here is your winner, Sparks!
As Sparks goes through the crowd celebrating with the fans, Cageking sits in the middle of the ring, perplexed. He slowly gets to his feet and gets out of the ring. He walks up to Jerry Fish and says, "Why did you say Sparks wins?" Jerry doesn't know what to say. Cage slaps Jerry Fish and barks the command at him to announce him as the winner. When Jerry Fish refuses, Cage starts to walk away. Cage stops, and menacingly turns around to Jerry. He stares at him until...
He runs at him and knees him in the stomach! Jery crumbles and writhes in pain as Cageking walks angrily off into the backstage area. Medical staff run to Jerry and help him up. They ask him if he can continue. Jerry says that he can and gingerly takes a seat back in his chair.
*Commercial*
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Ryan Starshine V. Xavian Gunn
Jerry Fish - The following contest is set for one fall, with a 15 minute time limit.
*Blitzkrieg*
The screen starts to shake and glitch as Xavian Gunn makes his way to the ring.
Jerry Fish - Introducing first, Xavian Gunn!
*Super Massive Black Hole*
A loud cheer goes up from the crowd as Starshine emerges from the back.
Jerry Fish - And his opponent, competing in his final WWCF match, RYAN STARSHINE!!!
A loud “STARSHINE!!!” chant is heard as Ryan enters the ring.
The bell rings. Gunn and Starshine lock up, Starshine with a go behind rear waistlock into a hack! Ryan begins working over the shoulder, but is forced to break a shoulder lock in the ropes. Ryan pulls Gunn up and shoots him into the ropes. Gunn comes back with a clothesline, then a second one, then a third that drops Starshine to the mat. Elbow. Cover.
1
Kickout.
Gunn picks Starshine up and suplex’s him. Ryan get’s to his feet, but walks into a kick to the gut. Xavian setting up for a DD- Starshine with a Northern Lights suplex! Bridge!
1!
2!
Kickout!
Both men back up, Gunn charges but runs into the Blind Spot! Starshine with a kick to the gut, going for it, YES! Starblind! Cover!
1!
2!
3!
Jerry Fish - Here is your winner, Ryan Starshine!
Sean Kelly - And in his final outing, Starshine is successful!
The fans are on their feet, chanting “THANK YOU STARSHINE!!!
Ryan acknowledges the cheers, but as he celebrates…
Michael Gettenpill - Smokin’ Vokoun!
Vokoun runs in and attacks Starshine! Vokoun slams Ryan, then rams his head into the turnbuckle. He follows that with a backdrop and then the Mandible Claw! Referee Spud Johnson tries to get him to break, but Gunn pulls Johnson back and tosses him from the ring! Suddenly…
Sean Kelly - It’s Titanothere!
Titanothere runs out to the ring and lifts Vokoun off of Starshine! The two get into a staredown, but Gunn pulls Vokoun back and convinces him to leave. Titanothere helps Starshine as we go to a break.
*Commercial*
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Main Event: Voodoo Champagne V. The Heavy Metal Express
The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time limit!
(God's Gonna Cut You Down)
Introducing first, at a combined weight of 505 pounds, they are the "Voodoo Lawyer" TTS and "Champagne" Jay Carroll...VOODOO CHAMPAGNE!
- VC come out to a large pop. As TTS does his chicken sacrifice, Jay poses with his bottle of bubbly.
(We're Not Gonna Take It)
And their opponents, at a combined weight of 498 pounds, they are the WWCF Tag Team Champions - The Headbanger Man and D-Day Dave...THE METAL EXPRESS!
- The rock tandem play their air instruments down the ramp, and are joined by their groupies. Eventually the women are sent to the back, as the champions pose with the belts in the ring.
Sean Kelly: Here we go with the Heatz! main event, this is a non-title match here, but a big opportunity for Voodoo Champagne tonight, espcecially TTS!
Michael Gettenpill: Absolutely Michael, he will challenge for those belts at Saved By The Bell along with M.O.P. But tonight, he teams with his regular running buddy Jay Carroll, a man coming off a huge win at the WarGames PPV, who has also recently joined the reformed Family.
Kelly: Indeed. He also tore the Heavy Metal Hollywood video game a new one this week, Sean. You played it yet?
Gettenpill: Yeah I played it. I can't get past 'Every Rose Has Its Thorn' though, which is rather annoying.
- Headbanger starts with Jay. They lock up and Headbanger grabs a side headlock. Jay tries to spring off the ropes, but the rocker keeps a hold of it. Eventually Jay pushes him off, but is knocked down by a shoulder. He leapfrogs Headbanger and scores with a hiptoss, before a dropkick sends his adversary out of the ring via the bottom rope.
- Headbanger and Dave do some regrouping on the outside, as Jay gets on the turnbuckle and works the crowd, who respond appreciatively.
Kelly: Jay and TTS have never really been fan favourites over their tenure as a team, but these people seem to be warming to them week after week.
Gettenpill: Absolutely. These fans love to see guys sticking it to the likes of Heavy Metal Hollywood and Seth Drakin, which is what they've done in recent weeks.
- Headbanger gets back inside as he and Jay exchange right hands. Jay gets the better of it and goes for a crossbody, but is caught, and hit with a fallaway slam. Headbanger tags in Dave, who hits a legdrop and goes for a cover.
1...
- Jay kicks out. Dave snapmares him over and hits a loud kick to the spine. He then hits a Mr Perfect-esque flip neckbreaker, and goes for another cover, this time grinding his forearm into Jay's face.
1...
2...
- Another kick out. Dave waits for Jay to get up and attempts a boot, but it is ducked, and Carroll scores with a back suplex. He brings TTS into the match. The big Voodoo Lawyer steps over the top rope and delivers a huge elbow to Dave, before taking him over with a suplex. He tags Jay back in, and they execute a painful wishbone on Dave.
Kelly: Voodoo Champagne getting the better of the early exchanges so far. The Metal Express needs to try and use some of that teamwork that led them to the titles.
Gettenpill: About that - how come they aren't "Heavy" anymore?
Kelly: I spoke to Dave earlier, and just told me that it sounded better.
Gettenpill: You actually spoke to the guy?
Kelly: Yeah. He usually has a 5 minute window when he isn't rocking out or partying, and we have some nice little chats.
Gettenpill: Hardcore.
- Jay hits a bulldog, and scales the turnbuckles. However, Dave reacts sharply and meets him on the third floor with a right hand. He goes for a superplex, but Jay fights out of it, and eventually knocks Dave down to the canvas. He hits a splash off the top!
1...
2...
- Headbanger breaks up the pin. He gets a cheap shot on Jay before the ref sends him back to the apron. Both men get to their feet, and Jay ducks a clothesline, but can't avoid a reverse elbow from Dave. The guitarist tags in his partner, who comes in with a headbutt, followed by a DDT. He hooks the leg.
1...
2...
- Kick out. Headbanger whips Jay off the ropes and goes for a back body drop, but Jay hurdles over him, and hits an atomic drop! He tries to get to TTS, but Headbanger cuts him off with a chopblock. He then scores with a belly to back suplex, and then utilises a Camel Clutch hold.
Kelly: The Metal Express have taken control of tis one. It looks like they're trying to wear down Jay Carroll here.
Gettenpill: Indeed. Jay almost managed to tag in TTS, but he didn't quite make it.
- Jay fights his way to his feet, and lands a couple to elbows to the gut, but Headbanger yanks him down to the canvas again. He hits a kneedrop, and tags Dave back in, who takes over with a chinlock. Dave talks trash towards Voodoo Champagne, as Jay refuses to give in. Finally, Jay gets to his feet again, and backs Dave into the corner, before hitting a back elbow. He goes for a Stinger splash, but Dave moves. However, Jay lands on the second turnbuckle, and comes off with a flying forearm shot!
- Both men crawl towards their respective partners - Headbanger gets tagged in, but can't stop Jay tagging in TTS. TTS with a series of right hands, and a back body drop! He smacks Dave off the apron, and hits a scoop slam on Headbanger. TTS goes up top, and comes down with the Doctor's Note!
1...
2...
- Dave just about breaks up the pinfall. Jay flies into the scene, and hits a huge dropkick on Dave, sending him back outside. Jay then lands on the former CEO with a pescado!
Kelly: TTS almost won it right there, but Dave just about saved the match up for the champions!
Gettenpill: And now Jay has just taken out Dave on the outside! The referee is rapidly losing control of this one!
- As the referee tries to restore some order, TTS calls for the Pile-Up, but Koda sprints down the aisle with a chair in his hand! He takes a wild swing at TTS, but he ducks and Headbanger is hit instead! The Voodoo Lawyer press-slams Koda onto the floor, and then covers Headbanger!
1...
2...
3!
Here are your winners...VOODOO CHAMPAGNE!
- Jay joins TTS in the ring and both men celebrate the big win.
Kelly: They did it, Voodoo Champagne have just beaten the tag team champions!
Gettenpill: TTS picking up some huge momentum heading into Saved By The Bell!
Kelly: The Metal Express again tried to cheat their way to a win, but Koda's interference backfired big time here tonight!
- TTS grabs both tag titles, and holds them up in the air! He then drops them both onto Headbanger as Dave rolls back into the ring. Voodoo Champagne leave, as Koda comes to his senses on the outside. Koda gets in the ring as Dave lambasts him for the botched interference. Headbanger soon stirs. He grabs Koda and hits the Double Bass DDT on his band mate, before marching off angrily! Dave follows sheepishly behind, with the tag belts in tow.
Kelly: Headbanger just DDT'd Koda! Friction within Heavy Metal Hollywood here!
Gettenpill: Frustration has got the better of him here, no doubt.
Kelly: Well ladies and gentlemen, that's about all the time we have this week! Be sure to tune in tomorrow for NiteRaw! Goodnight everybody!
Credits: Evil M, BRB, Amigo, Sparks and Headbanger Man
