Sunday Night Heatz!!1 - January 18, 2009

Sunday Night Heatz!!1
January 18, 2009
Episode 3

*Stock footage of a Nuclear Bomb detonating is played with the words "Sunday Night Heatz!!1" is shown. The camera then pans out to the Parts Unknown Arena's ringside announcer booth where the commentators of the evening are seated*

Amigo: Hello, WWCF fans to another episode of Sunday Night Heatz! Once more, I am the new-age Doctor of Style, John S. Amigo, and joining me tonight is.......

The Sam: Did you go to Harvard to get a doctorate in Style?
And I am the Manager of Champions, The Sam. And Doc, we got a great show tonight.

Amigo: A small one, too. Only two matches tonight, a Number One Contender match for the Tag Titles at King of Wrestlecrap pitting The Pride against the Wargames Warriors, and a massive Hardcore Battle Royal.

The Sam: Well you know what they say Doctor, Big things come in Small packages.

Amigo: Or really big ones. Speaking of big, that's the best way to describe the first match: Two-thirds of the young lions of the WWCF, The Pride's own M.O.P. and Metylerca going up against the mascara-wearing maulers of Stevierichardsfan and Krazy E-Man.

__________________________________________________________

*Zooms in to lit baseball field, home*

Stevie: Do you remember the kids who you picked last in gym?

*Krazy pitches ball to Eli, Eli hits out of field*

Eli: It's a shame. The kids in high school, that never got asked to prom, but showed up anyway, just to watch you dance around, living your seemingly perfect society of Jocks and Preps.

Krazy: Wargame Warriors have a match tonight, that we're planning to win. All three of us. Eli, you've got a match too.

Eli: Yep. Won't go down without a good fight, I gotta lotta things on my mind, with King of Wrestlecrap next week. But I'm not nervous. I'll bleed myself out in that hardcore match, use every weapon that I can find. The competition's tough, and I don't want any of you to let me win because I'm a girl. I don't waste title shots, and Sam, you'll get to see Eli full throttle so you can tuck your tail between your legs come KOWC.

Krazy: You fight your match, and Stevie and I will fight like hell, so maybe we don't get picked last next time. We're planning on winning our match. It can't be too far in the future, the day we get ourselves some nice belts.

Stevie: Don't count your chickens before they hatch. But Krazy's right. If we go down, our blood will be on your hands, yours on ours. Don't tread on me. The freaks are making a comeback.

*Krazy breaks camera with baseball bat*

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Tag Team Match for No. 1 Contenders spot to WWCF Tag Team Championship(winners will face WWCF Tag Team Champs The Southwest Connection(littlenaitch and Tyfo) at King Of WrestleCrap)
The Pride(members Metylerca and M.O.P.) VOTES-14
VS
Wargame Warriors(stevierichardsfan and Krazy E-Man) W/Eli VOTES-6

Micheal Muffer: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the opener of the show! It is a tag tag match with a 30 minute time limit for the number one contendership at King of Wrestlecrap.Introducing team number one: accompanied to the ring by Eli The Valkyrie, hailing from Hazelton, Pennsylvania, standing at 5 feet, 11 and three-fourths inches, weighing at 275lbs, Krazy E-Man! And his partner, coming from Atlanta, Georgia, standing 6 feet, 2 inches, weighing at 225lbs, Stevierichardsfan Babyface!

*Screamo music is played as the mat malcontents wade thru the legions of fans to get to the ring, jumping over the railing, and sits on their corner akin to Raven*

Micheal Muffer: And their opponents, representing The Pride: First, coming from Los Angeles, California, standing 6 feet, 1 inch, weighing in tonight at 230lbs, Metylerca! And his partner, hailing from snorking, New Jersey, standing 6 feet, 1 inch, weighing in at 232lbs, M.O.P.!

*A lesser-known Metallica song booms in the arena to signal 2/3 of The Pride is here, both calmly walking to the ring*

After both teams have been checked, the bell is rung, and Krazy E-Man and M.O.P. start out with punches flying. Although the refs tries to warn both men, it is visibly clear that this match will not feature a whole lot of Flying Headscissors. Stevie then forearms M.O.P. in the back of the head when he isn't looking, and tag in. Stevie then stomps M.O.P. down into the corner, and whips in into the other corner. Stevie then misses a charge, and is greeted by a Diving Knee Strike by M.O.P., who then tags out to Metylerca.

Metylerca then tosses Stevie outside, and Hot Shots him over the railing. Eli then distracts the ref, as Krazy goes on the outside, with M.O.P. following. Krazy introduces a chair, with witch nails M.O.P., bu accidental hits Stevie while aiming for Metylerca. Eventually, the ref gets Eli down, and the match goes back to normal. Stevie however, manages to escape, and Krazy is tagged in.

More brawling ensures, with The Pride starting to come out on top. Fearing the end, Eli tries again to distract the ref, but Grbjazzman, hiding under the ring, comes out, and grabs Eli to knock her into the post, K.O.'ing her. He, then goes back under. M.O.P. then throws Stevie out, while Metylerca makes Krazy Ride the Lightning for 3.

Michael Muffer- And here are your winners………….M.O.P. and METYLERCA of THE PRIDE!!!!!!!!!

The Sam - And it looks like Metylerca and M.O.P. will be losing to the Southwest Connection at WWCF King of the Wrestlecrap in just 8 days.
And now we have the main event for the evening, a 9 person Hardcore Battle Royal. 9 People enter the ring which will be littered with various foreign objects. The only way you can eliminate someone from the match is if you throw them over the top rope and both feet hit the floor. The winner will go on to face the current Hardcore champion, General of the Monkey Army, and speaking of which, look who has come out to join us in commentary.

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backstage in the locker room - lights off - Aaron walks out writing something in a notebook, then fixes his gaze on the camera

I'm fairly new around here, but I would be willing to bet money to state I am the most intelligent. While those other wrestlers waste time shedding blood, sweat and tears in the ring, I Have been mostly on the sidelines, taking advantage of my downtime. I've been figuring out the weaknesses of those wrestlers, and I will use them to my advantage one day soon.
Some people may claim that I'm just terrible in the ring, after all I do a 100% losing record. They could not be more wrong, for as they say, there are a thousand lessons in failure. I've worked diligently....that means I put a lot of effort behind my work for you low-intelligent people, and I am just about ready to showcase my research. Everyone has heard the saying brains are better than brawn. Soon, very soon, I will prove to you just how true that statement is. I'm Aaron Enigma, the Head Detective, and I will show you the secrets I have learned with you all when the time is right.

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(General Of The Monkey Army comes out to do commentary but before he does he gets on the mic in the ring.)

Tonight in that ring one of those men is going to get a shot at my hardcore title. I only got one thing to say. Good luck. If you don't know I am the longest running WWCF Hardcore champion and no one and I mean no one has beaten me yet. I am not afraid to hurt people and whoever wins that battle royal I suggest that you better get used to pain because I am going to hurt you in a variety of ways. Come Bingo......Bingo?.......Bingo?

Hardcore Battle Royal for No.1 Contenders spot to WWCF Hardcore Championship(The ring will be littered with hardcore weapons that people can use. If you get thrown over the top rope you are out. The winner will go on to face General Of The Monkey Army at King Of WrestleCrap for the Hardcore Championship(GENERAL OF THE MONKEY ARMY WILL BE A GUEST COMMENTATOR.)

*The General sits down, and grabs a Mic*

General: Hell, Amigo. *Scowls at TheSam* What's the rabble in the ring?

Amigo: From new guys to grumpy veterans, to dark psychopaths to chubby, pale guys, a wide selection of challengers will reek havoc in this ring to gain the chance to get a Title match.

Legion

VS

“Evil La Parka”

VS

Supersmark

VS

Latino Meat

VS

One Doley Nation

VS

Whitey “Daddy Phat Sax” Fats

VS

MolotovMocktail

VS

Eli

VS

Head Detective Aaron Enigma

The match starts out with everyone grabbing a weapon and immediately going to town on one another. “Evil La Parka” takes his patented chair and nails Aaron Enigma from behind. MolotovMocktail grabs a kendo stick and pegs Whitey in the side of the head. Eli grabs brass knucks and punches Legion in the face. Latino Meat grabs two trash can lids and bangs them over the head of Supersmark.

“Evil La Parka” nails MolotovMocktail in the head making him drop his kendo stick and falls against the ropes where he is clotheslined ou

Supersmark and One Doley Nation t of the ring by Legion.

Michael Muffer- MolotovMocktail has been eliminated.

Aaron Enigma and Latino Meat are double teaming Whitey Fats trying to get him over the top rope but he manages to grab a trash can lid and clock them both with it.

are dueling with kendo sticks up against the ropes and “Evil La Parka” sets his chair up, goes off the ropes and jumps onto his chair compelling himself into Supersmark and One Doley Nation sending them both over the top rope.

Michael Muffer- Supersmark and One Doley Nation have been eliminated.

Latino Meat sees “Parka” hurt from the last move he just did and hits a big drop kick on “Parka” sending him over the top rope.

Michael Muffer- “Evil La Parka” has been eliminated.

Legion comes up behind Latino Meat and blasts him with a trash can shot sending Latino Meat up against the ropes. Legion looks over at Eli who also has a trash can and they both nod to each other and charges at Latino Meat with a double trash can shot sending Latino Meat over the top rope.

Michael Muffer- Latino Meat has been eliminated.

Legion and Eli both look at each other and try to hit each other with the trash cans but they just clang together forcing them both to drop the trash cans. Whitey Fats sees this and charges at both of them and hits a double clothesline on both outside of the ring.

Michael Muffer- Eli and Legion have been eliminated.

Now it is down to two people. Head Detective Aaron Enigma and Whitey “Daddy Phat Sax” Fats. The both eye each other from opposite sides of the ring and each choose a weapon. Enigma picks up a kendo stick and Whitey picks up a night stick. They both charge at each other and duel each other for a while but Whitey’s power takes over and he manages to back up Enigma to the ropes where he upper cuts Enigma with the night stick sending Aaron Enigma over the top rope.

Whitey turns around and celebrates but Aaron hung on to the ropes and did a vintage shawn Michaels battle royal pull up back into the ring. Whitey turns back around and Aaron charges at him and goes for a big spin kick but Whitey ducks right at the last second and Aaron goes clear over the top rope hard.

Michael Muffer- Here is your winner and new No. 1 Contender for the Hardcore Title…………WHITEY “DADDY PHAT SAX” FATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amigo: It seems that Whitey “Daddy Phat Sax” Fats has gained the chance to re-create the carnage they created today against you, General, at the next PPV.

General: Bah, just another puke looking for nothing but trouble! I must be off!

*The General leaves*

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Amigo: Well, that's it for matches, but I would like to show something right now.

*We see a pre-taped video of John S. Amigo and The Sam standing in a field. The Sam is wearing sweat pants, sweat shirt and sweat bands and is carrying a water bottle and John is wearing a navy blue suit with the WWCF logo on the front pocket*
The Sam - What are we doing out here John?
Amigo - Well, seeing as you have a match with Eli at KotWC. And you need to get in shape I thought I'd help you out.
The Sam - Ok then, so what are we dong out here?
Amigo - Well as former World Champion, I know how important it is t have excellent cardiovascular conditioning. And a good way to get that is by running.
The Sam - You want me to run this field? Well I got a bad knee so I don't think that is wise.
Amigo - Don't worry, I've got an incentive.
*Amigo hands The Sam a can of dog food. Amigo then grabs a whistle, blows into it and it doesn't make a sound. The Sam looks over to see a German Shepherd running full steam at The Sam. The Sam starts sprinting holding onto the can of dog food as the Shepherd chases after him. The dog leaps into the air and sends The Sam to the ground as Amigo laughs at The Sam*

*We cut back to the announce desk where The Sam looks angry and Amigo is chuckling*

The Sam - You think that's funny do ya? Well let me tell you, that bitch will never get a job with WWCF as long as I'm around.

Amigo: Hey, family show, you bastard! And on that pleasant note, we are out of time, so for everybody here, I'm Dr. John S. Amigo.

The Sam: And I'm The Manager of Champions, and we hope to see you next time, right here, on Sunday Night Heatz!