Special Wednesday Night Heatz!!1
6/30/09
June 24th, 2009
Welcome to a very special edition of WWCF Heatz!!1 I’m Gorilla Tim Hoss, and with me, the man of the hour, Jesse King!
Gorilla, with Wheel of Misfortune just 5 days away, tonight should be an incredible show!
I hear ya Jess. Tonight, we will crown new WWCF World Tag Team Champions in a fatal 4-way match!
Whitey Fats is officially under contract to the WWCF once again, and in his first match back, he will face the Boiler Room Brawler!
In what will serve as a preview of the Hardcore Championship match at Wheel of Misfortune, Headbanger Man will face “Evil La Parka“ in a tables match!
Koda and Cthulhu will both be challenging for gold Monday night, but tonight, we‘ll see them go 1-on-1!
But first, we have a special 10 man battle royal, with a $495,000 reward!
Earlier today, our cameras picked up this footage.
Jonathan is backstage with Aaron Enigma.
Look, I know you're the Head Detective, but I didn't want to trouble you, I know you have your own troubles with M.O.P, besides, I wanted to do this for Whitey so The Sam can't get rid of him, I hope we're still cool.
Jonathan and Aaron shake hands, Aaron leaves, Whitey Fats walks up.
Is he mad?
He's cool, So have you found anything out yet?
Well, I've eliminated a few suspects, I know SuperSmark, stevierichardsfan, Koda, BoilerRoomBrawler and The General of the Monkey Army didn't do it.
And grbjazzman was in the ring with me.
And it wasn't me.
I figured that, listen, I appreciate your help, keep up the good work, but I have a match to get ready for.
Me too, I'll talk to you later.
There is a pause.
You wanna do it
Sure.
And, Cut.
*End of clip*
Jonathan heads to the ring for the Battle Royal, when his phone rings.
Hello?
Hey, Sara, everything all right?
Good, don't worry, everything's going to be all right, Whitey and I are going to find this guy and I'll make sure he never bothers you again.
Okay, the match is starting, I'll call you later tonight, I love you, Bye.
10 Man $495,000 Battle Royal
The following is a 10 man over the top battle royal!
*King Kong 2004*
Introducing first, from Lansing, Michigan, weighing in at 225 pounds, The General of the Monkey Army!
*Sing Sang Sung*
From Fulton, New York, weighing in at 206 pounds, grbjazzman!
*Painkiller*
From Bergen County, New Jersey, weighing in at 232 pounds, M.O.P!
*Cult of Personality*
From Glasgow, Scotland, weighing in at 219 pounds, The Amazing Brahma Bull!
*Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap*
From Ann Arbor, Michigan, weighing in at 220 pounds, Super Smark!
*Leave The Memories Alone*
[color=Yellow]From Badstreet, USA, weighing in at 225 pounds, Stevierichardsfan Babyface!
“Elementary My Dear Watson!”
*Know Your Enemy*
From Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at 256 pounds, Aaron Enigma!
*DOA*
From Los Angeles, California, weighing in at 240 pounds, Jonathan Michaels!
*Smile Like You Mean It*
From Brighton, England, weighing in at 190 pounds, Relegate Hunter!
*Mike Is Awesome*
And, from Cork, Ireland, weighing in at 217 pounds, “Fallen Dragon” Mike Corral!
Everyone pairs off and starts trying to eliminate each other. Super Smark charges at Mike Corral, who grabs him on the way by and tosses him over the tope rope.
Super Smark eliminated.
Stevierichardsfan tosses M.O.P. into the corner, and fires off some chops. M,O,P, reverses it and hit’s Stevie with a few chops, then pauses, before delivering the big one, which knocks Stevie over the top rope and to the floor.
Stevierichardsfan eliminated.
The General and Jonathan Michaels go at just days before the Hardcore Match at Wheel of Misfortune. Michaels goes to suplex the General, but it’s countered into a monkey flip. Michaels lands on his feet, however. The General turns, and is met with clothesline, sending him over the top rope and to the floor.
The General eliminated.
Aaron Enigma and grbjazzman trade punches in the center of the ring. Jazzman wins the exchange, and goes for backbreaker, but M.O.P. catches him out of nowhere with a lariat, sending Jazzman over the top and to the floor.
Grbjazzman eliminated.
M.O.P. hit’s a European uppercut on Aaron, and runs the ropes, but Jazzman, who’s still on the outside, pulls the top rope down, and M.O.P. goes tumbling over the top.
M.O.P. eliminated.
As M.O.P. and Jazzman brawl on the floor, the action continues in the ring. Brahma Bull and Relegate Hunter try to double team Mike Corral, but Corral fights them off, and back body drop’s a charging Bull over the top.
Brahma Bull eliminated.
And now it’s down to the final four: Jonathan Michaels, Mike Corral, Aaron Enigma, and Relegate Hunter!
Hunter pairs off against Michaels, while Aaron and Corral go at it. Corral nails a release Dragon suplex on Enigma, followed by an attempted crucifix bomb over the top, but Aaron blocks it with a neckbreaker, sending both men to the mat. Meanwhile, Michaels hit’s a snap suplex on Hunter. He follows with a legdrop, and goes to toss Hunter out, but Hunter blocks him and nails the Dentist’s Dream! Hunter plays to the crowd, and goes for the Relegation, but Michaels rolls out of the way! Hunter lands on his feet, but turns right into the Fade to Black, which knocks him over the top and to the floor!
Relegate Hunter eliminated.
Michaels turns to face Corral. The two lock up, and Michaels whip’s Corral into the ropes. Corral bounces back with a front dropkick, knocking Michaels back against the ropes. Aaron charges Corral from behind, but is met with a Mafia kick, which knocks him THROUGH the ropes. Michaels runs at Corral, who catches him with a snapmare, followed by a dropkick! Corral pick’s Michaels up and ties him up in the tree of woe. He goes for the Sensations From Above, but Michael reaches up, and powerbombs Corral to the mat! Michaels frees himself from the tree of woe, and gets up… as Aaron Enigma hit’s an axe kick on Corral, knocking him over the top!
Mike Corral eliminated.
It’s down to Michaels and Enigma now. This should be most interesting Jess.
Absolutely Gorilla. A few months ago, Jonathan Michaels tried to join The Story, but they turned him down. If he can eliminate Aaron Enigma, and win this battle royal, that may convince The Story to reconsider their decision.
Michaels charges Enigma who ducks, and catches Michaels with a Rude Awakening neck breaker! Enigma goes to toss Michaels out, but Michaels grabs onto the top rope, and kick’s Enigma back. Enigma runs at Michaels who goes for the Fade to Black, but Aaron ducks it, and hit’s the Brilliant Deduction! Aaron picks Michaels up, and tosses him over the top rope.
Jonathan Michaels eliminated.
Here is your winner, Aaron Enigma!
The referee hands Aaron a check, as Aaron celebrates on the top rope. Aaron turns to acknowledge the crowd, and comes face to face with M.O.P. The two stare at each other. M.O.P. smiles, and walks away.
Big win for Aaron Enigma, just days before his Last Man Standing match with M.O.P!
Just remember though, Aaron won a battle royal. Anyone can win a battle royal! Monday night, it’s gonna be a 1-on-1 match. We’ll see how lucky Aaron Enigma is then.
Well, coming up next, Koda takes on Chtulhu!
Jonathan walks through the curtain.
I guess he WAS mad.
Evil Masked wordlifeecw walks up to him.
Hey, Jonathan, I saw the match, sorry you lost, but Aaron won, so . . .
No, I know, at least somebody I respect won, hopefully he will use the money wisely, but I'm still coming for your title this Monday.
I wouldn't expect anything different.
Wordlife slaps Jonathan on the back and walks away.
Koda V. Cthulhu
The following contest is set for one fall, with a 15 minute time limit!
*Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann OST*
Introducing first, from WWCF Headquarters, weighing in at 180 pounds, representing WWCF Corporate, Cthulhu!
*Agent of Chaos*
And his opponent, from Gotham, weighing in at 223 pounds, Koda!
Koda and Cthulhu circle each other, before Koda dives at Cthulhu with a clothesline. Cthulhu doges it, and rolls Koda up.
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Kickout.
Cthulhu grabs Koda, but Koda frees himself and goes for an elevated DDT, but Cthulhu blocks it with a headbutt, followed by a lariat! Cthulhu continues the assault with a kneedrop to the throat. Cover.
1
2
Kickout.
Cthulhu chokes Koda on the mat.
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2
3
4
Cthulhu breaks the choke, and picks up Koda for a Japanese ocean cyclone suplex. Cover.
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2
Kickout.
Cthulhu climbs the ropes and taunts the crowd, but doesn’t see Koda loosening his necktie. Cthulhu goes for a running elbow across the throat, but Koda surprises him by sitting up and choking him with the necktie!
The All Choked Up!
Oh c’mon ref! This isn’t a hardcore match!
The ref warns Koda to break the hold.
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3
4
Koda releases the choke, and nails Cthulhu with the Arkham Straightjacket! Cover!
1!
2!
Kickout!
Koda pulls Cthulhu up and hit’s the Arkham Roundup! Cover!
1!
2!
Kickout!
Koda walks over to the corner, and pulls a small mallet out of his coat pocket. The ref grabs it from him, but when he turns around, he doesn’t see Koda pull a chain out of his tights and nail Cthulhu with it! Cover!
1!
2!
Kickout!
Koda is beyond frustrated! Cthulhu won’t stay down!
Koda pulls Cthulhu up, and spits Joker Venom in his face, but Cthulhu deflects it back at Koda! Koda begins laughing uncontrollably, and Cthulhu nails the Death Magnetic! COVER!
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2!
3!
Here is your winner, Cthulhu!
Cthulhu celebrates by playing his guitar, as officials tend to Koda. Backstage, Viva Los Bio Dome is shown watching on a monitor, looking very pleased.
The Heatz!!1 Champion has to be happy about this. The challenger has been defeated just days before his final shot at the Heatz!!1 Championship.
And Cthulhu is able to build some momentum going into the WWCF World Championship match on Monday!
Folks, our next match is a Tables match between two of the challengers for the Hardcore Championship match at Wheel of Misfortune, “Evil La Parka” and The Headbanger Man!
Tables Match: “Evil La Parka” V. The Headbanger Man
The next contest will be a Tables Match. The ring is surrounded by tables and the first one to send their opponent threw a table will be declared the winner.
("Evil La Parka"s music starts to play and he walks to the ring holding his steel chair.)
On his way to the ring first weighing in at 225 pounds from Mexico City, Mexico..................."EVIL LA PARKA"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
("Wild Child" by W.A.S.P. starts to play over the PA as Headbanger Man walks to the ring banging his head and air drumming.)
Before Headbanger Man can get all the way to the ring Parka instantly propels himself up to the top rope and hits a huge dive on Headbanger Man. Both men are hurt from the move as the crowd erupts with excitement. Parka picks up Headbanger Man and Irish whips him into the guardrail. Parka comes up to Headbanger Man and starts kneeing Headbanger Man in the stomach over and over.
Parka tosses Headbanger Man into the ring. Parka rolls into the ring and tries to pick up HM but HM punches Parka in the stomach and then irish whips parka into a corner. HM charges at Parka put parka puts his legs up on HM's head and pulls off a huge hurricanrana.
Parka waits for HM to stand up and then goes off the ropes and hits a huge spinning back kick right into HM's head sending HM outside of the ring. Parka gets ready and waits for HM to get up and goes for a suicide dive but right as he is about to connect with HM HM instantly grabs Parka's chair and nails Parka with it who goes right into it due to him going for the suicide dive.
HM starts stomping Parka. HM peels up the outside mats and calls for a DDT on Parka. HM picks up Parka and goes for the DDT but Parka blocks it and shoves HM into the ring apron. The two start brawling now up the entrance aisle. HM gets the advantage and shoves Parka into the entrance stage wall. HM runs after Parka but parka reacts quickly and hits another big hurricanrana. After the move HM is down since it was on concrete floor and Parka eyes a table off to the side from the stage.
Parka grabs the table and sets it up. Parka picks up HM and lays him out on the table. Park points up on the stage as the crowd starts to yell. Parka climbs up on the stage and calls for The X-Ray but then stops and sees a speaker right next to him that is even higher. He points up there and the crowd yells even louder for him to do it. Parka climbs all the way up on the speaker now about twenty feet above HM who is still laid out on the table.
Parka calls for The X-Ray and makes a huge leap. Parka comes down fast and hard but right when he connects HM has already moved out of the way making Parka crash right threw the table and badly hurt.
Here is your winner..........................HEADBANGER MAN!!!!!!!!!!!
What a win here for Headbanger Man!
After that performance, I have no doubt that we are looking at the next WWCF Hardcore Champion, Gorilla!
Whitey Fats V. The Boiler Room Brawler w/ The Sam
Well Gorilla next up we have The Sam's new bodyguard The Boiler Room Brawler taking on a returning Whitey Fats.
The interesting thing here Jess is that Whitey feels that he has been betrayed by his former Rough'n'Ready partner TTS who since Whitey took a leave of absence decided to take on this odd Jamaican persona and has fully joined WWCF Corporate.
The next contest is set for one fall. On his way to the ring weighing in at 350 pounds and from Rockford, Illinois accompanied by WWCF Executive of Corporate The Sam.................BOILER ROOM BRAWLER!!!!!!
*The Sam knocks on a the boiler room door of the WWCF arena as "I'm So Bad" by Motorhead starts to play. The Boiler Room Brawler walks out with a big pipe in his hand and the two walk to the gorilla position and then to the ring.*
And his opponent making his WWCF return weighing in at 280 pounds and from Starke, Florida..............WHITEY "DADDY PHAT SAX" FATS!!!!!!
The two big men meet in the middle of the ring face to face. Whitey obviously has the three inch height advantage but BRB matches that with a huge power house body. Neither men say a word to each other. They just keep staring face to face. Finally BRB fires the first shot by giving Whitey a shove. Whitey shoves back BRB. BRB retaliates with a big slap to Whitey's face. Whitey slaps BRB right back.
Finally the two behemoths lock up and BRB backs Whitey into a corner. The ref calls for a clean break and BRB backs off but then slaps Whitey once again. This ticks off Whitey and Whitey comes charging at BRB but is met with a big body punch knocking Whitey back but not quite off his feet. BRB grabs a hold of Whitey's arms and starts head butting him over and over until Whitey falls back into a corner. BRB walks back a little and then sprints towards Whitey nailing a big boot right into Whitey's face knocking Whitey over the top rope.
BRB pushes the ref out of the way making him stop the count and goes outside to follow Whitey. BRB picks Whitey up and shoves him into the guardrail. BRB follows that up by charging at Whitey and does a big body clothesline sending them both over the guardrail. BRB picks up Whitey and toss him back over the guardrail.
BRB gets on the apron and starts arguing with the ref who wants the match back in the ring. While the ref is distracted The Sam comes up on Whitey and starts putting the boots to him. BRB jumps back down and tosses Whitey back into the ring.
BRB picks up Whitey inside the ring and sets Whitey up for a power bomb. BRB tries to get Whitey up but Whitey fights it off and back body drops BRB. BRB gets up and rushes after Whitey but Whitey hip tosses BRB and locks on a head lock. BRB works his way up and starts elbowing Whitey. BRB sends Whitey into the ropes and goes for a clothesline but Whtiey ducks it and comes off from the other side and hits a big power slam.
Whitey picks up BRB and calls for the Burning Hammer but The Sam jumps up on the apron now holding BRB's metal pipe. The ref goes over to admonish The Sam but The Sam grabs the ref by the shirt and holds his head down white he tosses the metal pipe into the ring to BRB who just low blowed Whitey. BRB catches the metal pipe and takes a big swing at Whtiey but Whitey ducks it and kicks BRB in the gut and grabs the metal pipe and clocks it over BRB's head.
Whitey picks up BRB and hits the Burning Hammer. The ref finally gets away from The Sam and goes for the count of 3 and gets it.
Here is your winner by pinfall..............................WHITEY "DADDY PHAT SAX" FATS!!!!!!!!
And Whitey Fats makes his return a successful one by taking down the big bad Boiler Room Brawler.
Rest assured, Gorilla. This isn’t over yet. The Sam won’t rest until Whitey Fats is gone again, and this time, permanently!
For a “fair and unbiased” executive, The Sam sure does abuse his power quite a bit, huh Jess?
You better hope The Sam didn’t hear you, or you could end up in there with The Boiler Room Brawler next!
I wouldn’t put that past The Sam, to be honest, Jess. Anyway, up next, is our main event!
That’s right! A Fatal 4-Way match for the WWCF World Tag Team Championships!
Let’s go to Michael Muffer for the introductions!
Fatal 4-Way Match For The Vacant WWCF World Tag Team Championships: Legion and Doley V. Starshine and TTS V. The Southwest Connection V. Above Average and King Motor-Colt
The Following contest is set for one fall with no time limit and it is for the WWCF Tag Team Titles.
Making their way to the ring first. They are LEGION and DOLEY!
(Legion and Doley make their way to the ring under smoke and Pyro)
And their opponents, representing the Corporation, The “Technical Professional” STARSHINE and the WWCF Montego Bay Alchoweight Champion TTS!
(Starshine makes his way to the ring acting very cocky as TTS waves to the fans)
And their opponents, representing the WWCF Corporation. They are the WWCF World Heavyweight Champion Littlenaitch and Tyfo, The SOUTHWEST CONNECTION!
(SWC high five each other at the entrance ramp before heading to the ring)
And their opponents, representing The Story, KING COLT and the WWCF Interforum Champion ABOVE AVERAGE!
Colt and AA make their way to the ring as they slide into the ring a brawl begins. Everyone is attacking everyone.
Everyone falls out of the ring except for Legion and Above Average. The bell rings.
AA and Legion go for a collared elbow tie up. Legion gets a headlock on AA. An AA step back and tries to whip Legion off the ropes but Legion holds on to the headlock. AA tries to backdrop Legion but Legion lets go and does a flip, landing on his feet behind AA, Legion goes for a schoolboy.
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kick out.
Legion taunts at AA before tagging in Doley.
Doley and AA go for a collared elbow tie up. AA goes behind Doley. Doley ducks down and grabs AA’s leg. AA kicks Doley sending him to the ropes. As Doley comes back, AA tries to monkey flip Doley but Doley grabs AA’s legs and flips over for a bride. The referee counts.
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2
2 count.
AA gets up and Doley arm drags AA before tagging in Legion. Legion stomps away on AA as he is locked in an arm drag arm bar from Doley. Doley leaves the ring as Legion stomps away. AA grabs Legions leg and Dragon whips Legion. AA runs across to Colt and tags him in. Colt jumps the top rope and clotheslines Legion. Naitch tags himself in and tags in Legion.x
Naitch and Colt get in each other’s face before going for a feats of strength. Both men bridge each other with the feats of strength before letting go for a round of applause from the crowd. All of a sudden Tyfo tags in Naitch and lariats Colt before going for a pin.
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AA breaks the pinfall.
Tyfo stomps away on Colt before calling to Naitch. Tyfo puts Colt in an electric chair. Naitch climbs the top rope. Naitch goes for a clothesline. But Colt ducks and hits and Victory roll on Tyfo
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Naitch breaks the hold.
Naitch and Tyfo stomp away on Colt but Colt manages to break away and starts taking on both men sending Naitch back out to the outside before getting blind tagged by TTS.
TTS gets in the ring and gets big booted by Tyfo. Tyfo goes for a pin.
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2
Starshine breaks the count.
Tyfo gets to his feet Starshine runs in and delivers a enzugri to Tyfo. Naitch runs in and attacks Starshine. Colt runs in and attacks Naitch. Legion and Doley attack Colt. AA runs in and attacks Doley and Legion. The referee loses idea of who the legal men are.
Everyone except Naitch, Colt, Legion and Doley brawl to the outside. Legion and Doley runs the ropes and hit a double suicide dive on everyone outside the ring. As the referee tries to revive everyone on the outside of the ring, Cthulu runs through the crowd and grabs a steel chair. Cthulu tries to attack Colt but Colt ducks and Cthulu hits Naitch. Colt dropkicks Naitch to the outside and then Colt pins Naitch.
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The winners of this match and NEW WWCF Tag Team Champions, King Colt and Above Average!!!
The Story did it! Above Average and King Motor-Colt are the new WWCF World Tag Team Champions!
The Sam and Mr. D-Day Dave won’t like this. LittleNaitch screwed up big time.
LittleNaitch?! Cthulhu interfered and hit him with a chair!
Who got pinned, Gorilla?
Well, regardless, this adds a new element to the Triple Threat match for the WWCF World Championship.
Finally, something we can agree on, Gorilla!
Monday night folks, WWCF presents Wheel of Misfortune, only on Pay-per-view! Five Championships will be on the line, and each of those matches will be determined by a spin of the wheel!
And M.O.P. and Aaron Enigma will meet in a Last Man Standing match. What will those two do to each other in this brutal match?!
And don’t forget the finals of Seth Drakin’s Tournament of Honor. Who will go on to face Seth at Botch at the Beach? Will it be grbjazzman or Tyfo?!
You don’t wanna miss it, so call your cable operator right now!
For Jesse King, I’m Gorilla Tim Hoss. We’ll see you Monday night at Wheel of Misfortune! Goodnight!
Motor-Colt and Above Average celebrate in the ring as the show closes.
Match writing credits go to: Evil M, D-Day Dave, and The Sam.
Backstage segments written by Jonathan Michaels.
