Monday Niteraw - March 16, 2009

Monday NiteRaw March 16th, 2009


*Shouting and sounds of a scuffle are heard. Staff and workers rush to the scene, where Viva Los BioDome is rolling around clutching his face screaming. Finally getting him to remove his hands from his face, a black substance can be seen on his face, as he screams about being blind*


SuperSmark and TromboneMan w/The Sam V. Above Average and Latino Meat

SuperSmark and TromboneMan both come out to "In The Mood", with The Sam in toe. Above Average and Latino Meat both come out to their own respective musics seperately.

SuperSmark and Latino Meat both get this one started with a lock up. After an impressive bout of chain wrestling, Latino Meat drops SuperSmark with a drop toe hold. Latin Meat picks SuperSmark up and irish whips him hard into the corner, followed by a stinger splash. SuperSmark begins crawling slowly to his corner while Latino Meat flexes for the crowd, and Latino Meat pulls him back from his tag just in the nick of time.

Latino Meat tags in Above Average. Above Average immediately locks SuperSmark into the Dragon Sleeper. SuperSmark is struggling viciously to stay awake.

The ref begins to lift SuperSmarks arms.

*Lifts up arm, arm drops to the floor* ONE!!!!

*Lifts up arm, arm drops to the floor* TWO!!!

*Lifts up arm, arm..* TromboneMan barrels in and rips Above Average off of him to a chorus of boos, and returns to his corner. SuperSmark takes advantage of this situation and throws a few Haymakers at Above Average making a beeline to his corner and tags in TromboneMan.

TromboneMan nails Above Average with a Spear, and runs directly to the opposing corner and nails Latino Meat onto the outside. TromboneMan sees Above Average on the floor and goes for the Rusty Trombone, but Above Average rolls out from under it. Above Average tags in Latino Meat who climbs the top rope for the Meat Compactor, only to get pushed off of the top rope by The Sam.

TromboneMan gets up hits him with The C Note, and goes for the pin.

ONE!!

TWO!!

THREE!!

Here are your winners... SuperSmarkkkkkkk and TromboneeeeeeeeeeeeeMannnnnnnnnnnn!


We received this video earlier today.

Jonathan Michaels sits on his hospital bed putting on his shoes and preparing to check out.

"Evil La Parka, I'm not going to sit here and talk about the things I'm going to do to you in our match, because frankly, it is irrelevant, the simple fact is that I am going to show everyone who you truly are."

"Now, The doctors said I shouldn't compete until next week, but I really don't think I can wait that long to beat the snork out of you."

"So you had best bring your little chair with you, you'll need it."

"And, cut."


Jonathan Michaels V. The General of the Monkey Army

Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, Already in the ring, from Los Angeles, California, Jonathan Michaels.

Jonathan stares angrily at the entranceway as The General makes his way out.

And his opponent, from Lansing, Michigan, The General of the Monkey Army.

The General slides into the ring and Jonathan wastes no time in putting the boots to The General, Jonathan picks The General up off the mat and hits a snap suplex.

Jonathan picks The General up again but before he can hit another move, The General elbows Michaels in the face and hits a scoop slam, following up with a frogsplash from the top rope.

The General goes to the corner to wait for Michaels to get up, Jonathan stands up and glares at The General, he charges The General but he dodges the stuntman's attack, Jonathan hits the corner hard and The General is ready for him with a dropkick.

The General grabs Michaels by the hair and pulls him up but Michaels surprises him with a belly to belly suplex, Jonathan goes to the corner, readying a Fade to Black, but before The General gets up, Michaels starts to sway and suddenly collapses in the middle of the ring.

The General warily goes to Michaels and kicks him gently to see if he is conscious, The General shrugs and goes for the cover, but Michaels rolls The General up for the three count.

Here is your winner, Jonathan Michaels!

As the referee raise Michaels’ hand, La Parka runs in and starts assaulting him with a chair. As he lays blow after blow upon Michaels, Evil Masked wordlifeecw runs out with a chair of his own. La Parka sees this and escapes through the crowd. Wordlifeecw tries to follow him, but several officials run out to hold him back. Wordlifeecw is fuming as he returns to the ring to check on Michaels.


*The door to the dressing room is flung open, and Aaron Maiden staggers into the room in the midst of the workers and collapses, scratching at his eyes. The same black substance is on his face as Biodome, and he too appears to be blind*


"The Redneck Assassins" Whitey "Daddy Phat Sax" Fats and TTS w/ reluctant manager The Sam V. "El Enmascarado Enanos" El Senor and El Hombre

Muffer – the following contest is set for one fall, it is a special tag team contest. If TTS/Whitey win, their manager, The Sam, will be forced to kiss their a**. However, if "El Enmascarado Enanos" win then TTS and Whitey have to kiss The Sam’s a**.

Making their way to the ring first.
(Mexican Hat Dance plays) at a total combined weight of 301 lbs. From “South of the Border” they are “El Senor” and “El Hombre”, "El Enmascarado Enanos".
(2 mask wearing midgets wearing masks make their way to the ring)
And their opponents.
(Simply the Best)
At a total combined with of 570 lbs. Accompanied by their manager, The Sam. They are TTS AND WHITEY!
(TTS and Whitey are high fiving the fans as they make their way to the ring. The Sam is several feet behind them)
TTS/Whitey get in the ring. As they do so The Sam enters the ring and shakes the hands of “El Enmascarado Enanos”.
As The Sam is leaving the ring, The Sam trips Whitey who falls backwards as El Senor and El Hombre dive on top of Whitey for the pinfall.
The bell sounds.
1
2
2 count only.
“El Enmascarado Enanos” start punching and kicking at every inch of Whitey until TTS boots El Hombre in the head sending him to the apron. Whitey gets to his feet and pushes El Senor to the apron.
Whitey and TTS look towards The Sam and yell, “What was that about”. The Sam looks at Redneck Assassins as if he doesn’t know what they are talking about.

TTS climbs out of the ring and gets in The Sam’s face. As he does so El Enmascarado Enanos sneak up behind Whitey, Senor sands on Hombres shoulders and hits Whitey with a foreign object. El Enmascarado Enanos cover Whitey for the pin.
As they do so The Sam throws a fans beer into the face of TTS. The Sam runs over and holds Whiteys feet down as the referee goes for the pinfall.
1
2
3
The winners of the match, EL ENMASCARADO ENANOS
The Sam gets in the ring and begins celebrating with El Enmascarado Enanos. TTS and Whitey complain to the referee that they cheated but before the referee can reverse the decision The Sam grabs the microphone.
“Hey! A deal is a deal! You 2 lost the match! Now, pucker up, and KISS MY A**” The Sam lowers his pants and bends over.
As he does so TTS and Whitey grab El Enmascarado Enanos as Whitey hits a Burning Hammer on El Senor and TTS delivers the Pile-Up to El Hombre. TTS and Whitey lift the unconscious El Enmascarado Enanos’s and force their heads to make contact with The Sam’s behind. The Sam doesn’t realize who is kissing his butt and thinks it’s TTS and Whitey. TTS and Whitey however drop the midgets and flee the ring. The Sam turns around and the smile from his face disappears as he realizes that TTS and Whitey had tricked him. The Sam tries to revive El Enmascarado Enanos as TTS and Whitey celebrate to the locker room.


*Evil Masked wordlifeecw storms through the curtain and into the ring. He grabs the house mic*

“La Parka! This BS stops right now! Bring your bony ass back out here and fight me like a man! C’mon!”

*As wordlifeecw continues to call for La Parka to come out, the chairman comes back through the crowd and nails wordlifeecw in the head with the chair. Wordlifeecw’s head snaps around, and he gives La Parka a death stare. La Parka swings again, but wordlifeecw knocks the chair away, and the two begin throwing punches at each other. As their brawl spills to the outside, several officials and Superstars from the back rush out to try and break it up. They successfully pull the two apart, with wordlifeecw being forced back into the ring. La Parka taunts the Hardcore Champion from the outside. Wordlifeecw tries to go after him, but is restrained. Suddenly, wordlifeecw breaks free and dives over the top rope and on to La Parka and the guys holding him back. La Parka scrambles up the ramp, as wordlifeecw is once again restrained. Suddenly, Jonathan Michaels, still battered from earlier walks through the curtain and goes right after La Parka, causing more people to rush out to split them apart as we go to a break*


Tyfo w/ The Sam V. Krazy E-Man w/ Eli and Stevierichardsfan

Tyfo starts right as the bell sounds, charging Krazy and jumping for a shoulder block. Krazy dodges and Tyfo rolls through it back to his feet. He turns around only to be met with Krazy's fist and he throws a big right hand at Tyfo, knocking him to the ground. Krazy tries to lock in an STF quick, but Tyfo squeezes out and manages to kick Krazy off him. Tyfo quickly gets to his feet and runs at Krazy, but Krazy counters with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Krazy then grabs Tyfo left leg and puts him in a Single Leg Boston Crab. Tyfo writhes in pain and reaches quickly for the ropes, forcing Krazy to break the hold. Krazy goes to pick up Tyfo, but Tyfo throws him through the middle rope and onto the floor.

Tyfo grabs a quick breather and then uses a suicide dive to hit Krazy. He picks up Krazy and rams his back on the ring, then the security wall. He rolls Krazy back into the ring and goes to put him in the sharpshooter. However Krazy is able to kick Tyfo off him and get up. Krazy delivers a toe-kick then hits Tyfo with the Moss-Covered Three Handled Family Credenza. He locks Tyfo in the STF in the center of the ring.

Tyfo fights his way to the ropes. He props himself on one leg, and rolls over, throwing Krazy off of him. Tyfo gets to his feet but Krazy whips him towards the ropes. Tyfo bounces off the ropes and ducks a clothesline from Krazy. He bounces off the opposite rope and delivers a clothesline of his own. Krazy falls to the mat but get up right away only to be met with a kick from Tyfo to the midsection. Tyfo tries to whip Krazy into the corner but Krazy counters and tosses Tyfo into it. Krazy charges at Tyfo but Tyfo ducks and Krazy collides with the turnbuckle. Tyfo quickly puts his arm around Krazy's neck and brings him up to the second rope. Tyfo hits The Tumbleweed on Krazy but he cannot make the cover.

Tyfo manages to crawl onto Krazy for the pin, but only gets a 2 count before Krazy kicks out. Both men slowly get to their feet and begin to trade punches back and forth. Krazy gets the upper hand and bounces off the ropes for a clothesline. Tyfo counters it with a spinebuster. He locks Krazy in the Texas Cloverleaf and Krazy desperately tries to crawl to the ropes, however he taps out inches from reaching it and Tyfo wins.

Here is your winner, TYFO!


KGX and the "Non-American Heroes" Starshine and Square V. The Pride: grbjazzman, M.O.P. and Metylerca

Michael Muffer: Our next match is a SIX MAAAAN TAAAAG!!

*Dead and Bloated blares out. KGX struts onto the stage*

Michael Muffer: Introducing first, from The Emerald City, weighing in at TWO HUNDRED AND TWWWWENTYYYYYY POOOOOUUUUUNNNNDS, K!G!X!

*KGX gets to the ring jawing with fans as Supermassive Black Hole kicks in and the Non-American Heroes walk out*

Michael Muffer: And his TAG TEEAAM PARRRTNEEERS, at a combined weight of FOOOUURR HUNDRED AND FORRTY POOOUUUNDS!! SQUARE AND STARSHINE, THE NON-AMERICAAAAAAAAAAN HEEEEEEEROOOOOOES

*KGX and the NAH cut cocky strides in the ring, Whiplash by Metallica interupts*

Michael Muffer: And their opponents, at a combined weight of SIX HUNDRED AND SIXTY EIGHT POOOOOUUUNNNDS, GRBJAZZMAN, METYLERCA AND M.O.P, THE PRIIIIIIIIIIIDE!!

*The trio walk out together and down the ramp side by side. KGX and NAH drop to the outside as The Pride pose in the ring*

We're underway with KGX and Metylerca. They circle trying to feel each other out, then lock up. 'Lerca's weight advantage comes into play and he grabs a headlock. KGX pushes him off and 'Lerca comes back off the ropes, taken down by a Short Arm Clothesline by KGX. KGX runs off the ropes himself. 'Lerca stays down and gets stepped over, KGX on his way back...Drop Toe Hold! 'Lerca floats over and grabs the seated headlock, cranking back on KGX's neck. KGX kicks his feet into the mat, trying to relieve the pressure on his back somehow. 'Lerca slowly gets to his feet, reaching out to his corner, still with one arm locked hard on KGX. KGX grabs at his legs and lifts 'Lerca going for the backdrop...'LERCA LANDS ON HIS FEET! REVERSE DDT!! Cover! 1-broken up at 2 by Square with vicious stomps! MOP runs in to face off with Square, but great teamwork by the NAH, as they drop and pull down the top rope to avoid the Diving Clothesline attempt sending MOP to the outside! KGX rolls out of the ring and Square rushes in on 'Lerca. Stomps away on 'Lerca and then drags him over to his corner and tags in Starshine. Square holds 'Lerca and Starshine comes over the top rope with a HUGE stomp. He goes for the cover with his feet on the ropes! 1-2-JAZZMAN IN WITH THE MODIFIED A-TRAIN! HIS KNEES FOLDED STARSHINE IN TWO!! He pushes his team mate out of the ring and grabs Starshine..BOSTON CRAB!! All that pressure after the impact to the back! Square reaches out for his partner for the tag...MOP PULLS HIM OFF THE APRON!! He starts lighting Square up with hard Knife Edge Chops, but here comes KGX...KATAHA JIME!! LOCKED IN ON MOP!! SQUARESPLOSION ON 'LERCA!! Square into the ring, he charges Jazzman, but Jazzman sidesteps and whips him into the ropes, Square back, JAZZMAN MISSES THE YAKUZA KICK...L7 TKO BY SQUARE!! COVER! 1-2-3!! IT'S OVER!!

Michael Muffer: HERE ARE YOUR WINNERS...KGX AND THE NON-AMERICAN HEEEEROOOOEEES!!!


*Bagpipes trill and drums roll, but Stryker doesn't emerge right away. Suddenly Tromboneman is flung out onto the stage, he's been beaten black and blue. Stryker appears out, with a cold, psychotic look on his face. He scoops up Tromboneman...CYCLONE CUTTER!! He stoops over TBM....BLACK MIST!! Tromboneman writhes around on the stage, as EMTs and workers rush out to help him, as Stryker walks to the ring.*


Handicap Tag Match(Stryker is the special guest referee)
The Crusade members Seth Drakin and The Tank V. King Motor-Colt w/ Aaron Enigma and littlenaitch watching his back in his corner

(One Winged Angel Remix by The Black Mages)
Ladies and gentlemen, this is the main event, and it is a handicap match. Introducing first, weighing in at a total combined weight of 530 pounds, The Tank, and the leader of the Crusade, Seth Drakin!
(Phantom of the Opera-Iron Maiden)
And his opponent, being accompanied by Head Detective Aaron Enigma and LittleNaitch, and weighing in at 247 pounds, he is the reigning WWCF World Heavyweight Champion, King Motor-Colt!

Colt charges down to the ring, where Tank and Seth are waiting for him. As soon as Colt’s in the ring, Tank and Seth start beating him down, while Stryker just leans against one of the turnbuckles, watching. Seth holds Colt, as Tank fires off some punches on the Champion. Seth passes Colt over to Tank, and starts punching away on Motor-Colt. As Seth winds up for the big one, however, Colt kicks him between the legs, and flips Tank over his shoulder and to the mat. Colt grabs Seth and hit’s the Story On Page One. Colt covers Seth, and Stryker’s down. 1! 2! Stryker stops the count. Colt looks over at him, and Stryker just stares at him. Tank comes up behind Colt with a quick roll-up. Stryker down123!

Here are your winners, The Tank and Seth Drakin, The Crusade!

Colt walks over to Stryker and gets right in his face. Tank and Seth take the opportunity to doubleteam Colt, but Enigma and Naitch make the save, but The Crusade fight them off. Stryker suddenly nails Tank in the face with WWCF World Title belt and swings at Drakin, who rolls out of the ring to safety. Stryker walks over to Colt with the WWCF World Belt. He looks like he’s going to hit Colt with it as well, but instead just drops it at Colt’s feet and walks away. King Motor-Colt stares after Stryker, as NiteRaw comes to an end.