Sunday Night Heatz!!1 - March 15, 2009

Sunday Night Heatz!!1 March 15th, 2009


*Tyfo enters the ring and takes the mic*

As the days roll off the calender, we get closer and closer to Serious Business. Now, unless you've been living under a rock or your just one of the intellectually deficient fans that despite what you claim, flock to the arena to see me and the rest of The Family, then you would know that I, along with 5 others will step foot in the Thunderdome cage for the WWCF Championship. The other participants aren't important right now, but what is important is the fact that Tyfo will be walking out of Serious Business as the new World Champion.

But the question that these marks on the street keep bothering me with is, how can you be so confident when you have so many opponents at once, and with so many different styles? Well, it's real simple folks, I beat down people like them on a daily basis. I kick more ass before breakfast then my opponents do in a week. And that's why I am here tonight. To prove to you that I can and will take on any and everybody that comes my way. Earlier today, I posted a sign up sheet for anybody that had the balls to come out here and face me. Surprisingly, 3 people took the bait. 3 people will come out here, one at a time, to take.......The Tyfo Beatin' Ass and Lookin' Good Doing It Challenge, or simply the TTBAALGDIC for you commoners with the 4th grade educations.

I will do the honor of introducing these worthy competitors and once the bell rings, I ask that 1:00 be put on the clock, because that's all I'll need....if that.

My first opponent hails from Calgary.......Alberta Canada. He weighs in at 458 pounds. He is.........MEATBALL MARVIN!!!!

*A portly gentleman waddles to the ring*

Nice to meet you Marvin.....Mr. timekeeper, give me a bell. *DING*

*Marvin swings, Tyfo ducks under the big right hand and sweeps the leg. Tyfo locks on the Texas Cloverleaf and Marvin taps out quickly*

OH! Just like that and it's done. Sorry Marvin, got to be a little more on the ball when your in the ring with the next WWCF Champion! Get this butterball out of my ring!

My next adversary comes to us from the Mean Streets of Jonesborrow, Wyoming. He weighs in at 203 pounds and is known as "The King of the Kenmore". He is, Barney The Bum!

*An unkempt, slightly overweight man walks to the ring dragging a trash bag behind him*

Barney, good to see you made it out. Let's do this! Bell please! *DING*

*They tie up, Barney tries to go behind with a hammerlock, but Tyfo flips The Bum over and to the mat. Tyfo hooks the Cloverleaf and Barney taps like a drunk man......which he actually is*

Tough break kid, back to the old refrigerator box. NEXT!

My final and without a doubt, toughest opponent, comes to the ring this evening from the Psychiatric Ward of Willowsberry Mental Institution in Willowsberry, Kentucky. His weight is unknown, as is his sanity. He is.....C-AH-R-AH-ZZZZZZZZZ-Y CHET!!!!

*a man about 5'2 and 105 pounds walks down the aisle in a straight jacket*

Now, I've had reservations about this one all day I'm going against my better judgment here. And I'm only doing this for the good of the ratings and the entertainment of this show and putting my own well being on the line here. But orderlies.......unstrap that man!

*The orderlies take the straight jacket off of Chet as the bell sounds*

*Tyfo walks straight over and slaps Chet across the face dropping him to the mat unconscious. Tyfo slaps on the Texas Cloverleaf as the ref raises and drops Chet's arm 3 times and calls for the bell*

*With the hold still firmly locked in, Tyfo is handed the mic*

YOU SEE! I took on some of the baddest men on this planet with no break, no excuses, and no problem! It's gonna be just that easy when I step into the Thunderdome Cage at Serious Business! If you still have any doubt that I won't walk out of that cage as the WWCF Champion, then your just plain ignorant!

*Tyfo finally releases the still unconscious Chet from the hold and demands the referee raise his hand as he continues to talk into the camera*


Rob Gnar V. Madman Szalinski

Ladies and gentlemen, this opening contest is set for one fall.
(Psychosocial)
Introducing first, weighing in at 235 pounds, from White River, South Dakota, Rob Gnar!
(Skinhead, Skinhead)
And his opponent, Madman Szalinski!

Szalinski and Gnar lock up, and Sazalinski immediately slams Gnar to the mat. He follows this with a stomp, and goes for a knee drop, but Gnar rolls out of the way. Gnar hit’s a snap suplex, followed by a reverse DDT. 1-count. Gnar tries for an ankle lock, but Szalinski pushes him off and hit’s a clothesline out of nowhere. 1-count. Szalinski locks on a chinlock, but Gnar breaks free and hit’s a step up Enzuigiri for a 2-count. Gnar follows up with a cradle suplex, but only get’s 2. Gnar begins working over the leg, trying to soften Szalinski up for the Sharpshooter. Gnar places Szalinski’s leg on the bottom rope and jumps up for a stomp, but Szalinski moves, and Gnar lands on the rope. Szalinski rolls up Gnar, but only get’s 2.

Szalinski rocks Gnar with some punches, but misses the big one, allowing Gnar to nail a Frankensteiner, earning a 2-count. Gnar starts getting frustrated at his inability to put Madman away. Gnar tosses Szalinski to the outside, and follows suit. On the arena floor, Gnar and Szalinski exchange punches, as the ref begins his count. Gnar tosses Szalinski up against the crowd control barrier, and charges, but Szalinski back body drops him over the barrier and into the crowd. Szalinski quickly rolls back in the ring, as the ref reaches 8. Gnar struggles back over the barrier, and dives back into the ring as the bell rings.

Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner, as the result of a count out, Madman Szalinski!

Madman celebrates, as a livid Rob Gnar looks on.


The Headbanger Man V. MolotovMocktail

This contest is scheduled for one fall...
(I Hope You Die)
Introducing first, from Petaluma, California, weighing in at 160 pounds...MolotovMocktail!

(We Built This City)
And his opponent, from Kent in England, weighing 263 pounds, The Headbanger Man!

- Before the match, both men try to one-up each other; Molotov with his air guitar and The Headbanger Man air drums. Neither man gets a great response from the crowd. Headbanger charges at Molotov but misses and then eats a dropkick, followed by a side headlock takedown. Headbanger powers out but misses a clothesline. Molotov his a flying forearm and then clotheslines Headbanger over the top rope. As Headbanger regroups and starts to talk smack to the crowd, he is hit by a tope. Molotov tries to whip Headbanger Man into the ringpost, but it is reversed.

- Headbanger smacks Molotov into the ring apron headfirst and then rolls him back in the ring and stomps away. He chokes him in the corner with his boot, and hits a low dropkick for only a 1-count. Headbanger hits a back body drop, a reverse elbow and then a DDT which gets a 2 count. Headbanger then goes for a camel clutch for a minute or so, badmouthing Molotov while he has the hold locked in. Molotov eventually recovers and hits an electric chair drop, followed by a shooting star press off the top. He goes for the cover, but Headbanger gets his foot on the rope, and it is only a 2 count.

- Molotov unloads with clotheslines and dropkicks, followed by a swinging neckbreaker after Headbanger telegraphs a back body drop. He goes for the anklelock submission but Headbanger reaches the ropes out of desperation. After the hold is broken, Headbanger rolls out of the ring. Molotov once again tries to dive onto Headbanger, but this time he misses.

- Headbanger Man conects with a powerslam on the floor and rolls back into the ring, confidently air drumming, thinking he has the countout victory. Molotov is back in the ring at 8 however. Molotov ducks another clothesline and attempts a wheelbarrow blulldog, but it is countered into a back suplex. Headbanger Man hits an alley-oop powerbomb for a close near-fall. He goes to the top rope and hits a blockbuster, before connecting with the Double Time DDT (Impaler) for the 3-count.

Here is your winner, The Headbanger Man!


Brahma Bull and Viva Los Bio Dome V. Koda and Legion

The following contest is set for one fall.
(“Never Gonna Give You Up” and “Safety Dance” play)
Making their way to the ring. They are Viva Los Bio Dome and Brahma Bull.
(Brahma zombie marches his way to the ring as Viva follows, looking vert stern and serious.)
And their opponents. They are Legion and the WWCF Heatz Champion, Koda!
(Legion walks down to the ring as Koda follows, Koda doesn’t break eye contact with Viva).

The referee decides Koda and Viva start the match off. As the bell rings Koda immediately tags in Legion. Legion enters the ring and both men go for a lock up. Viva hits an arm drag sending Legion to the mat. Legion gets up and they go for another lock up. This time Legion sends a knee to the mid section of Viva. Legion hits an uppercut before irish whipping him into the turnbuckle. Legion runs towards Viva and Clotheslines him. Legion goes for a pinfall.
1
2
2 count
Legion lifts up Viva but Viva hits a jawbreaker on Legion, Viva jumps towards Brahma before tagging him in. Brahma comes in and clotheslines Legion. Brahma comes off the ropes and Koda grabs his hair. Brahma turns around to swipe at Koda but misses. Koda turns around and gets hit with DDT by Legion.
Legion tags in Koda. Koda stomps away on Brahma until Brahma grabs Koda’s leg. Koda pleads with Brahma to let him go. Koda rakes Brahmas eyes forcing him to it go.

Koda goes running off the ropes and does Legion tag blind. Koda comes off the ropes and Brahma attempts a clothesline but misses. Koda rolls out of the ring and points to Legion who is on the top rope. Legion goes for a cross body but Brahma uses the momentum to hit a power slam on Legion. Brahma goes for a pin.
1
2
3
The winners of the match, Brahma Bull and Viva Los Bio Dome.
Legion gets up and hits Brahma with the “Fall From Grace”. Viva comes in and pushes Legion to the outside. While Vivas back is turned Koda enters the ring and stares at Viva. It looks like Koda is about to hit Viva with the Joker Mist but Brahma gets up and big boots Koda to the outside of the ring. Viva turns around and see’s this.
Brahma grabs a microphone and with a gravelly, zombie voice says “SEE! YOU! AT! SERIOUS! BUSINESS! RARGH!”
A smile cracks on Koda’s face and Koda begins laughing manically.