Monday Niteraw - March 23, 2009
3/30/09
General of the Monkey Army vs. MolotovMocktail
MM and General lock up as the bell sounds with MM putting General in a chin lock. General bounces off the ropes and pushes MM off him, but MM rebounds with a shoulder block dropping General to the ground. MM follows quickly with a couple elbow drops, ending with a leg drop. MM goes for a quick pin but General kicks out before the ref can count 1. MM brings General to his feet, but General elbows MM in the stomach. General follows with a Monkey Flip, leaving MM on his back.
General quickly tries to lock in the Monkey Wrench, but MM kicks him off him and gets up. He clotheslines General and as he gets back up, MM hits a series of kicks that leaves the General reeling. MM finishes up with an Enziguri and General falls to the mat clutching his head. MM goes for a pin but General just kicks out before the 3.
MM continues to work on the head of General with punches, stomps and a leg drop. General's monkey at ringside starts freaking out and yelling, grabbing the attention of MM. General uses this distraction to get to his feet and clothesling MM from behind. He picks up MM and throws him into the turnbuckle. He lifts MM to the top rope and attempts to superplex him though. MM is able to counter and knock General to the ground lying on his back.
MM attempts to go for the 450 splash but General moves out of the way and MM hits the mat and clutches his midsection. General uses this oppotunity to lock in the Monkey Wrench and MM taps out quickly.
Here is your winner, The General of the Monkey Army!
*We see The Sam and the SWC standing next to Jerry Fish*
J.Fish - Hello fans, I am here with the Southwest Connection and their manager, The Sam. Tonight The Sam, one of your teams, the Southwest Connection alongside the Non American Heroes, will face another one of your teams, RnR and their partners, the WWCF tag Team champions The Pride in 8 man tag team action.
The Sam - First off, RnR are not MY team. They are their team, I just happen to manage them. Now I know what your thinking, The Sam is going to screw RnR out of another win. However I did not screw RnR, I taught them a lesson. I am trying to teach them to be humble and that patience is a virtue, just like any great tag team knows. But instead of thanking me for the advice, they kidnap my twin brother, Chip-Chip. Now this week, I'm going to be unbias. I am not going to interfere. I will help both SWC and RnR if need be because just like I always say, i'm gonna call this match right down the middle. Now as for Serious Business, everyone wants to....
*The Sam stops talking as the Non American Heroes make their way onto the interview. Starshine grabs the microphone and seems oblivious of Southwest.*
Starshine - Next week, live on Pay per view. The next big thing hits the big time when the new greatest tage team... *looks at Square* wait, scratch that. The NEXT GREATEST TAG TEAM takes their crown and breaks down the Pride of the current champions, Metylerca and MOP. Now tonight we... *looks to his left and appears to finally notice Southwest and The Sam* Hey Square, is that who I think it is?
Square - I think so. Aren't you the "ex"-greatest tag team in this company.
*Southwest begin advancing.
Starshine - HEY! HEY! We're just joking around, you guys are great... Or you used to be. *The Sam holds Southwest back* Face it, we're just being honest, you two have lost to the Pride how many times now? Twice? Now I think either they hold your personal kryptonite, or you just don't have what it takes anymore.
Square - Hell, we've beat you.
Starshine - Oh, that's right. Square, isn't that the time you had that pole and you-and then I did the sharpshooter and you had the chair, and you know. *Southwest are seething* Hey, listen that was never personal. It was just... business. *looks at Sam* You know about that right? Anyway tonight we team up, the top two teams in this company... more or less. So I say we put all that "business" behind us and move on and win tonight. If it helps, I just want to say... we just want to say; our bad. Yeah, our bad.
*littlenaich snatches the mic from Starshine*
littlenaich - Your bad, huh? If I remember correctly, you attempted to cave my skull in last time we met. Why in the hell should I-
*Sam takes the mic from naich*
The Sam - We accept. Tyfo, naich, we have to get ready for our match, come on.
*Sam walks off with Tyfo, as naich stares down the NAH before reluctantly leaving. Jerry Fish brings the mic to Starshine.*
Starshine - *Points off screen* Nice guys, those three.
*The NAH walk off*
Eli w/ The Wargame Warriors V. KGX
Ladies and Gentleman, the following match is an intergender showcase match and it is scheduled for 1 fall. Introducing first, accompanied by the Wargame Warriors, weighing 185 pounds... ELI!!
*Vermillion plays over the PA as Eli makes her way onto the stage with Stevie and Krazy Man in tow. She interacts with the fans and gets a nice cheer.
And now, introducing her opponent, he hails from The Emerald City... KGX!!!
*KGX comes out as Dead and Bloated rings through the arena. He jaw jacks with a fan or two and rolls into the ring as the bell sounds.
The two lock up in the center of the ring as KGX shoves Eli back into the corner. Eli runs right back at him and they lock up again, with the same result. She runs back at him a third time nailes KGX with a huge slap to the face. She whips him off the ropes and nails a drop toe hold and floats over into a front face lock.
KGX easily reaches his feet and shoves Eli back into a corner. he works her over with a kick to the mid section and climbs up the turnbuckle to administer a 10 punch. He gets off 9 of them before putting one leg on the top rope and gyrating in Eli's dazed face while screaming at her and the fans "Do you like what you see?!?" before nailing the 10th punch and throwing her down to the canvas. He rolls on top of her for the pin
1
2...
All of a sudden Eli grabs his shoulders and works him in a cralde pinning situation where KGX is able to kick out at 2. KGX stumbles to his knees where Eli runs at him and nails a shining wizard for another two count. She then goes up top and connects on a splash, but again can only get two.
Growing angry, Eli motions to the crowd for the Machine Gun, and whips KGX into the ropes. KGX bounces back and ducks the Machine Gun and hits the far ropes and comes back with a Busaiku Knee Kick that nearly beheads Eli.
KGX then picks up the body of Eli and puts her in position for the Emerald Flowsion. He calls out to the fans, "This one's for you Jazzman!' before nailing Eli with the Flowsion. He goes down to cover her.
1
2...
KGX picks up the shoulder and stands Eli up. He then runs behind her and rolls her up in a schoolboy pin while hooking the tights.
1
2
3!!
Here is your winner, KGX!
Latino Meat V. TromboneMan w/ The Sam
Muffer – The following contest is set for one fall.
(Back Door Man – The Doors)
Making his way to the ring first, at the height of 6’4, weighing in at 235 lbs. From “Your Mom’s House”, LATINO MEAT!
(Meat makes his entrance high fiving the fans and climbing the turnbuckles.)
And his opponent;
(In The Mood – Glen Miller)
Making his way to the ring, at the height of 6’2, weighing in at 240 lbs. From Melbourne, Australia. Representing The Family. Accompanied by his manager, The Sam. He is the Tromboneweight Champion and WWCF Money in the Bank holder, TROMBONEMAN!
(Tromboneman marches his way to the ring with The Sam in tow)
The bell rings.
Tromboneman holds his hand out for a handshake, Latino Meat reaches for it but Tromboneman pulls his hand back. Both competitors circle the ring. They lock up. Latino Meat pushes Tromboneman to the turnbuckle and releases the grapple. Tromboneman charges back and goes for another grapple. Tromboneman sets Meat up against the ropes and goes for a chop. Meat ducks the chop and hits a Dropkick, sending Tromboneman to the outside. The Sam rushes towards Tromboneman to make sure he is ok while giving him some advice. The referee gets to a 6 count before Tromboneman returns to the ring.
Tromboneman and Latino Meat go for a lock up but Tromboneman lifts his knee up and hits Latino in the mid section. Tromboneman then hits a Snap Suplex on Latino Meat before going for a quick pin.
1
2
2 count
Tromboneman signals that he is going for the “C-Note”. He lifts Latino Meat over his shoulder but Latino Meat manages to slip out of the hold. Meat runs the ropes and hits Tromboneman with a “Flying Shoulder Tackle”. Latino Meat signals for the top rope. As Meat reaches the top rope, The Sam climbs up onto the apron and charges towards Meat. Meat kicks The Sam back sending him to the floor below. Meat goes for the “Meat Compactor” on Tromboneman jut as he hits Tromboneman grabs Meats arm out of mid air and locks in a Fujiwara Armbar. As it turns out Tromboneman was playing possum.
Latino Meat tries to reach for the ropes but can’t make it. He starts tapping out.
The winner of this match, TROMBONEMAN!
Tromboneman doesn’t let go of the Fujiwara Armbar though and continues to torque Latino Meats shoulder back.
Officials try to break the hold but it’s no use. The Sam is screaming at Tromboneman “BREAK HIS ARM! BREAK HIS ARM!”.
After 2 minutes Tromboneman finally releases the armbar. Tromboneman and The Sam laugh as they walk to the locker room, meanwhile Latino Meat is taken away on a stretcher and into the back of an ambulance.
Evil Masked wordlifeecw and Jonathan Michaels V. “Evil La Parka” and Cthulhu
(Original Kane Theme)
This match is set for one fall, and is a tag team contest. Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 560 pounds, the team of Jonathan Michaels, and the WWCF Hardcore Champion, Evil Masked wordlifeecw!
(La Parka’s WCW theme)
And there opponents, at a total combined weight of 405 pounds, Cthulhu, and “Evil La Parka”!
Michaels tackles La Parka before the bell even rings. Cthulhu and wordlifeecw begin going at it as well, and the ref is already struggling to gain control over the situation. As all 4 men brawl around the ring, several more officials run out to try and restore order, but to no avail. On one side, Michaels rams La Parka’s head off the guardrail. As the Luchadore slides down with each blow, Michaels finishes the assault with a kick to the face. Meanwhile, on the other side of the ring, wordlifeecw and Cthulhu have brawled into the crowd. As fans scramble to move, wordlifeecw and Cthulhu maul each other with anything that isn’t nailed down. Cthulhu cracks the Hardcore Champion in the head with a chair, knocking the Champion to the ground. Cthulhu begins to make his way back to ring, while Michaels and La Parka have resumed their battle over by the announcer’s table. La Parka rams Michaels’ head off the table, and Jonathan is busted open before the match has even started!
La Parka and Cthulhu roll Jonathan into the ring, and the bell finally rings. Cthulhu works over Michaels with several high impact blows, including head butts, a yakuza kick, and finishing up with a lung blower. Cthulhu tags in La Parka to get the pin, but Michaels kicks out at 2. Wordlifeecw is still out in the audience, trying to get his bearings. La Parka and Cthulhu take turns working over Michaels, completely ignoring the tag rule. La Parka goes for a springboard dropkick, but Michaels is able to get out of the way, and Parka crashes to the mat. Cthulhu quickly begins pummeling away on Michaels, but Jonathan fights back, and starts hitting both men with lefts and rights. Realizing that the match is slipping away, Parka reaches for his chair, only be met with a hand wrapped around his throat. Wordlifeecw is back in this thing! Parka kicks the Hardcore Champion away, but as he turns back around, Michaels dropkicks him right off the ring apron! Michaels turns to take care of Cthulhu, but is met with a boot to the gut. Cthulhu set’s up for the Death Magnetic, but Michaels slides down his back. Wordlifeecw delivers a kick of his own to Cthulhu, followed by the Journey to Hell. The Evil Masked One motions for Michaels to go up top. As La Parka reenters the ring, wordlifeecw lifts Michaels off the top turnbuckle and launches him onto La Parka! 1! 2! 3!
Here are your winners, Jonathan Michaels and the WWCF Hardcore Champion, Evil Masked wordlifeecw! With this win, wordlifeecw will now get to decide the stipulations for his match with La Parka at Serious Business!
Wordlifeecw and Jonathan Michaels celebrate their win in the ring, when Cthulhu grabs Michaels and tosses him to the outside. Wordlifeecw tries to help his partner, but La Parka blindsides him with a chair shot. After hammering wordlifeecw with chair a few times, La Parka grabs the Hardcore belt.
Make whatever stipulations you want. It won’t make a difference. At Serious Business, your Hardcore Title WILL. BE. MINE.
La Parka drapes the belt across wordlifeecw’s chest and leaves.
grbjazzman V. Stryker Dark Silence
Michael Muffer: The following match is scheduled for ONE FALL!
*Bagpipes and Drums kick in. Stryker walks out with a staring, intense look and paces aggressively to the ring*
Muffer: On the way to the ring, from the depths of the soul, weighing in at TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY POOOOUUUUNDS, STRRRRYKER DARK SIIIIIILENCCCCE!
*Stryker pops up onto the apron and wipes his feet before getting into the ring. He paces up to Muffer who bails out of the ring with his mic, and stands face to face, unblinking, at the ref as Sing Sang Sung plays*
Muffer (from outside the ring): And the opponent, from Fulton, NEW YORK, weighing in at TWO HUNDRED AND SIX POOOOUNDS, GRBJAAAAAAAZMAAAAAN!!
Jazzman struts down to the ring, and starts dancing with his cane at ringside. Stryker sets off running across the ring...SUICIDE TOPE ONTO JAZZMAN!! Hauling himself to his feet he pulls up Jazzman and rolls him into the ring following after. Front Facelock by Stryker on Jazzman as the ref rings the bell for the start of the match. He wrenches back on Jazzman's neck, then hoists him up going for the delayed vertical suplex, but Jazzman is able to wrap his legs around Stryker's neck and bring him over with a Headscissors Takedown shocking Stryker. He turns and faces Jazzman and charges in with the Collar and Elbow Tie Up, using his weight advantage to grab an Arm Ringer. He goes for the twist again to slam Jazzman, but he lands on his feet...ENZUGIRI! Jazzman runs off the ropes...BASEBALL SLIDE INTO STRYKER'S MIDRIFF! He looks to lock on the Boston Crab, but Stryker fights to block it. Stryker puts his boot in Jazzman's face and powers him off! Off the ropes now as Jazzman is back to his feet, ducks a clothesline and leapfrogs on his way back! Third run across the ring, Jazzman goes for the Yakuza kick...REVERSED! CAPTURE SUPLEX! STRYKER LAUNCHED JAZZMAN ACROSS THE RING! Stryker has a crazed look in his eyes...he pounces onto Jazzman and starts landing the Forearm Blows!! Jazzman struggles to get free, as Stryker grinds his right arm into his face..Jazzman grabs the bottom rope...STRYKER KEEPS PUNCHING AS THE REF COUNTS! He's not breaking...the ref forces himself between the pair, dragging Stryker off. Stryker turns and advances on the ref backing him into the corner, threatening him. Jazzman forces himself back to his feet...AND CHARGES WITH THE SUCH SWEET THUNDER ATTEMPT!! KNEES CONNECT SANDWICHING THE REFEREE BETWEEN STRYKER AND THE TURNBUCKLE!! BACKSTABBER!! COVER, BUT NO REFEREE!! Jazzman tries to revive the referee, as Stryker lays prone, but he seems out. Jazzman goes up to the second rope for the Elbow Drop...STRYKER GETS BOTH FEET UP!! Jazzman drops back as Stryker struggles over to him. He drags Jazzman into the centre of the ring...SLEEPERHOLD LOCKED IN!! Jazzman fights, but Stryker is locked in tight...the referee crawls over and raises Jazzman's arm...one...two...THREE! IT'S OVER!!
Muffer: Here is your winner...STRRRRYKER DARK SIIILENNCCCE!!
Stryker stands, clutching his back and limping slightly. He grabs the ref by the lapells and throws him out of the ring. Standing over Jazzman, he massages his throat....and mists into his own hands! He smears a black handprint over Jazzman's chest and leaves the ring.
*Back from the break, Above Average enters the ring*
I'm out here tonight in this very ring to address my upcoming title defence against the man who calls himself the... SuperSmark. Now Smark, I've still yet to defeat you properly inside this squared circle, and I've had 3 attempts recently to do so, and one way or the other, you've escaped my pinfall or my submission hold.
Smark, I know you were just pissed when you couldn't defeat me at what you pride yourself as being an expert at. And that is workrate. I was outworking you in the ring, you took a tantrum like the little internet nerd that you are, and hit me in the head with your laptop.
So Smark, next week at Serious Business, I want to make sure we can settle this once and for all. I don't want to have to face you again and again and again still trying to find that elusive victory. So, how about we add a stipulation to the match.
What I propose isn't anything fancy or particularly out there. No Disqualifications. No Count Outs. And there must be a winner. The only two methods of the match ending are when one of us taps out, or when one of us has our shoulders pinned to the mat for a count of 3.
D-Day Dave, make this match happen, because I want to finish this once and for all.
Above Average hands his mic back to the ring announcer, adjusts the title belt on his shoulder and walks to the back calmly.
8-Man Elimination Match: The Pride(M.O.P. and Metylerca) and RnR(Whitey and TTS) V. The Non-American Heroes(Square and Starshine) and The Southwest Connection(LittleNaitch and Tyfo)
Michael Muffer - The following contest is an 8 man elimination tag team match. The rules are simple, 4 men start on each team and whomever is pinned, submits, counted out or disqualified must leave the ringside area for the duration of the match. This match will end once all 4 members of one team has been eliminated.
*The Southwest Connection theme starts up*
Michael Muffer - Accompanied by the self proclaimed 'Manager of Champions', The Sam. They weigh in tonight at a combined weight of 480 pounds they are Tyfo and littlenaich, The Southwest Connection
*Southwest stride down to the ring and motion for the titles around their waist. The Sam looks on with a smug grin as Baker Street starts up*
Michael Muffer - Weighing in at a combined weight of 240 pounds. They are the Non American Heroes, Square and Starshine.
*Starshine struts down to the beat of the music as Square walks in determination behind him. They reach the ring and slowly get in as both teams eyeball one another, before they seem to ease up. The Sam suddenly seems to remember something and quickly waddles back to the entrance ramp. Down on Me starts up as The Rough and Ready appear with a disgruntled Sam*
Michael Muffer - Accompanied by The Sam, they weigh in at a combined 570 pounds. They are TTS and Whitey Fats, they are Rough n' Ready.
*Both make their way towards the ringside area, as Whitey pushes Sam around almost the entire time. Whiplash starts up.*
Michael Muffer - And now coming to the ring, representing The Pride. Weighing in at a combined 462 pounds. They are the current WWCF Tag Team Champions, Metylerca and M.O.P.
*The Pride make their way down to ringside by the Rn'R and both storm the ring and Southwest and the NAH flee to the outside. The Sam makes his way around by Southwest and both teams huddle planning. They then get on the ring apron and Tyfo enters the ring. M.O.P. starts off for his team.*
*The bell rings*
Tyfo and M.O.P. meet in the middle of the ring and begin with a knuckle lock. Tyfo overpowers M.O.P., shoving him to his corner and posing. Tyfo challenges him to another lock up, and M.O.P. obliges. M.O.P. struggles against Tyfo and is pushed back again, this time staying on his feet. Tyfo taunts M.O.P. again and challenges him again. M.O.P. is hesitant as he knuckles up. Tyfo applies the pressure but M.O.P. sweeps his leg and goes for a pin.
1...
Tyfo kicks out, and is met with a sharp chop to the chest. Tyfo, in pain, lunges back to his corner and tags in Starshine. Starshine takes his time getting into the ring and both he and M.O.P. pace each other. They lock up and Starshine quickly turns it into an arm wringer. M.O.P. tries to roll out of it, but Starshine stops him as he rolls onto his back by putting his knee on his arm. M.O.P. powers up into a bridge and Starshine kicks away his footing sending him down again. He tries it again and Starshine puts all his weight on top, but M.O.P. manages to hold the bridge. Starshine leaps off and M.O.P. fights his way to his feet and shoves Starshine down. In frustration, Starshine rolls out to the apron and points to Metylerca telling M.O.P. that he wants to face him. M.O.P. looks at Metylerca who puts his hand out for the tag. M.O.P. tags out.
Metylerca enters and motions for Starshine to enter the ring. With a look of contempt, Starshine very slowly enters back in. Both lock up and Starshine wrenches in a headlock but is launched into the ropes. Starshine grabs the ropes to stop his momentum and looks at Metylera; "not this time". Square distracts Metylerca by grabbing his hair and Starshine takes the time to grab him from behind in a waist lock. He rolls Metylerca into a pin while holding the tights. The Referee notices this and admonishes Starshine. Metylerca pushes Starshine into the ropes, hitting Square and rolling him up into a school boy pin.
1...
2...
3
Michael Muffer - Starshine has been eliminated.
Starshine looks in shock again, before he starts beating the mat in frustration. The referee tries to remove him from the ring while he argues Metylerca was holding his tights. The Sam passes a pair of brass knuckles to Tyfo who then waffles Metylerca behind the refs back and goes for the pin as littlenaich and Square intercept the other team from the outside. The referee turns around to see the pin.
1...
2...
3
Michael Muffer - Metylerca has been eliminated.
Tyfo leaps up and taunts the crowd. Whitey enters the ring and tells the referee what happened, but The Sam had already hidden the small knucks. The referee orders them to continue the match. Whitey advances towards Tyfo who backs up into his corner and tags in his partner littlenaich.
Littlenaich enters and walks straight up to the bigger Whitey and both stare each other down. Littlenaich hits a chop but it has no effect on Whitey who looks down at his chest and grins at naich. He powers naich back into his tea's corner and delivers a huge chop sending littlenaich slumping to the mat. He holds a finger up to the crowd who support the idea of another and props up naich into the corner, delivering another huge chop. He tags in TTS who then hits his own chop then tagging in M.O.P. who follows his partners lead, hitting a final chop sending littlenaich to the mat. littlenaich crawls towards his corner but is stopped in his tracks by M.O.P. M.O.P picks him up and connects with a European uppercut, whips him into the ropes and connects with the Thez press. He goes for the pin.
1...
2...
littlenaich kicks out and M.O.P. quickly transitions into a half crab. littlenaich unsuccessfully reaches out for the ropes and teases tapping. Tyfo enters the ring and levels M.O.P. with a forearm, freeing his partner. littlenaich reaches the corner and tags in Square. Square rushes in and punts M.O.P. in the ribs. He then picks him up and delivers a fisherman's suplex.
1...
2...
M.O.P. kicks out while clutching his ribs. Square picks up M.O.P. again and hits a spinebuster and goes for another pin.
1...
2...
TTS breaks up the pin. Square whips M.O.P. into the ropes and attempts the L7, but M.O.P. ducks and rebound with a clotheslines before collapsing to the ground, still clutching his ribs. While Square looks to be out, M.O.P. slowly struggles towards his partners, looking for the tag. Tyfo steps in the ring and drags him away, drawing the referee's reprehension. M.O.P. tags in Whitey who rushes in but is stopped by the referee, who misses the tag. M.O.P. gets back to his feet and goes towards his corner but The Sam grabs his feet. M.O.P. grabs Sam's hair and drags him to the ring apron. He raises a fist in the air, threatening to hit him. Square, now recovered, grabs M.O.P.'s shoulder and spins him, taking him by surprise and hitting the L7. He goes for the pin while Southwest stop Rn'R from entering.
1...
2...
3
Michael Muffer - M.O.P. has been eliminated.
Whitey and TTS stand outside the ring and assess their situation while all three remaining members of the other team taunt them from the ring. Both seem to come to an agreement and smack their beer bellies together. TTS enters the ring, and the referee orders Southwest to make it back to their corner. Square, stretches his arm and fakes TTS with a lunge. TTS backs into his corner and looks at Whitey. Whitey slaps him to sense, TTS hits his own on Whitey and both let out a victory belch. TTS hits Square aggressively and powers him back to his corner. Square looks to continue, but turns around and tags out to Tyfo. TTS goes for a few punches but Tyfo dodges them and applies a hammerlock. TTS attempts to escape, but Tyfo grabs him in a front facelock and drags him into his corner, tagging in littlenaich.
Still holding the facelock, Tyfo lifts up one of TTS's arms and naich kicks him in the exposed gut region. littlenaich takes TTS to the ropes and hits a chop, followed by a hip toss. He targets TTS's head with a knee drop, and starts working over his left leg. He weakens the leg with multiple stomps and knee drops before locking in a leg lace. He drags TTS back into his corner and tags in Square.
Square kicks his leg a few times and taunts the crowd, turning his back on TTS. TTS takes the time to crawl closer to his corner but is stopped inches from making the tag by Square who grabs his injured leg. TTS uses the ropes to help get to his feet while still held by his leg. He attempts an enziguri but Square ducks, TTS then rolls forward sending Square into his corner and a hard forearm from Whitey. TTS tags his partner in.
Whitey comes in like a house on fire and knocks Square down and out of the ring with a clothesline. Tyfo and littlenaich run in but are knocked down with clotheslines as well. Whitey poses and lets out a yell. Suddenly Square nails Whitey with a steel chair, opening him up. The referee disqualifies him.
Michael Muffer - Square has been eliminated.
TTS attempts to enter the ring but is dragged off the apron by Starshine who made his way from the back. He then whips TTS into the steel steps further injuring his leg. The Sam feigns concern for TTS by trying to recover him by shaking his injured leg. Starshine enters the ring as the referee unsuccessfully tries to restore order. The Sam throws in another chair to Starshine and points to Whitey. The NAH surround Whitey who struggles to his feet, preparing for a two man conchairto. Suddenly M.O.P. and Metylerca rush back to the ring and lay into the NAH dragging them out to the floor. M.O.P. beats on Square as both end up over the guard rail into the crowd. Meanwhile Starshine manages to shove Metylerca into the ring post and smash his head with the chair and follows the brawling Square and M.O.P. to the back. In the ring, Whitey fights off both Tyfo and littlenaitch but gradually starts losing to the number disadvantage. Outside paramedics tend to Metylerca while grbjazzman enters the ringside, and assists them.
Back in the ring the Southwest appear to have the match in control as Whitey struggles to stand under his own power, having lost a fair amount of blood. Southwest stop their assault to pose on the turnbuckles as the referee, having regained some semblance of order, tells them that only one of them may be in the ring at a time. Southwest highfive and Tyfo exits the ring. The Sam from the outside screams at Naitch to "break him". TTS finally manages to make his way back to his corner and appears to be able to hold himself up, holding out his arm for the tag. Naitch taunts TTS, and kicks his thigh. littlenaitch picks up Whitey but is surprised by a sudden scoop slam. Whitey then drags Naitch to the center of the ring and locks in a figure 4 leg lock. The Sam begs Naitch not to tap, who fights all urges to give up. Tyfo rushes in and kicks Whitey in the gut freeing his partner. Both fight to get to their feet first. Whitey wins, and lifts up littlanaich and hits snakes eyes in his corner. He tags in TTS and both hit a double chokeslam on Naitch. TTS goes for the pin.
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2...
The Sam grabs Naitch's foot and puts it on the ropes. Whitey gets on the floor and chases The Sam around the ring but is knocked down by a Tyfo double axe handle from the ring apron. TTS picks up Naitch but is victim to a hidden low blow. Naich drags him to the center of the ring and locks in the figure 4. TTS looks to his corner but sees that Whitey isn't there, he struggles for a little longer before finally having to tap out.
Michael Muffer - TTS has been eliminated.
Outside, Tyfo and The Sam hug and jump up and down in celebration. littlenaitch tells them to throw in Whitey so he can finish it. Tyfo rolls Whitey back into the ring and Naitch goes far the pin.
1...
2...
Whitey fights to get his shoulder up. Naitch follows up by dragging him to the center of the ring and attempts to lock in the figure 4. Whitey reverses it into a small package. Tyfo notices the pin and struggles to get back into the ring.
1...
2...
3...
Tyfo misses the break by a millisecond
Michael Muffer - littlenaitch has been eliminated.
Tyfo rushes into the ring and is leveled with a Whitey right. Whitey signals for the Burning Hammer but is distracted by the Sam who draws the referee away. Tyfo levels Whitey with a low blow and goes for the pin.
1...
2...
Whitey lets out a roar and escapes the pin. He begins to 'Fat Up', hitting Tyfo with multiple clotheslines. He then lifts up Tyfo into the Burning Hammer, but Tyfo slips out and exits the ring and collapses into the arms of The Sam who consoles him. Whitey begins climbing the turnbuckle and hits Tyfo with a sloppy body block to the outside while narrowly missing The Sam. He picks up Tyfo and rolls him back inside. He then begins climbing the ropes again but The Sam distracts him again. Tyfo recovers and crotches him on the top. He then climbs up to the top and hits Whitey with the Tumbleweed and hooks the leg for a pin.
1...
2...
3
Michael Muffer - Whiety Fats has been eliminated. The winners of this match: Tyfo, littlenaitch, Square and Starshine.
*The Sam jumps for joy on the outside and raises Tyfo's hand. Both hug and Tyfo climbs the turnbuckle motioning for the WWCF belt around his waist. Both leave as Whitey struggles to regain his bearings, shooting The Sam a dirty look before slowly reaching his feet and walking to the back.*
King Motor-Colt and Aaron Enigma V. Seth Drakin and The Tank
Michael Muffer: Ladies and Gentlemen, Tonight's main event is brought to you by WWCF Magazine, and the rules are as follows. Typical Tag Team Rules Apply, however if Aaron Enigma can pin Seth Drakin or make him submit, Aaron gets a one on one match against Seth at any time. If Motor-Colt pins Seth Drakin or makes him submit, LittleNaitch can get a one on one match at any time. If Seth Drakin pins either man or makes the submit they must leave the man alone. If Tank is involved in any fall, nothing happens. And without further ado...
One Winged Angel Remix hits
On their way to the ring, at a combined weight of Five Hundred and Thirty Pounds, They are 2 thirds of The Crusade and will Challenge for the World Title at Serious Business... The Tank and Seth Drakin!
"Elementary My Dear Watson", Know Your Enemy hits
And one half of the opposing team, hailing from Chicago, IL, weighing in tonight at Two Hundred and Fifty-Six pounds... He is the Head Detective... Aaron Enigma!
It's Hard To Speak Without a Tongue hits
And lastly, his partner... Hailing from The Daily Story, Australia. Weighing in tonight at Two Hundred and Fourty-Seven pounds... He is the King of Wrestlecrap and the reigning WrestleCrap Heavyweight Champion of the World... King Motor-Colt!
Motor-Colt decides to start the match out for his team, and Seth starts it out for his. The two men circle eachother for a bit, and go to lock up, but Seth quickly rolls out the way and tags Tank in to a series of boos. Motor-Colt quickly tags Aaron in.
Aaron springs off of the top rope at Tank and hits a clothesline and quickly starts stomping at Tank. Tank rolls out of the way and quickly connects with a big forearm, knocking Enigma back. They start going punch for punch, until Tank rakes at Aaron's eyes, followed by a knife edge Chop, Tank then whips him into the corner and follows up with a hard clothesline. Tank then whips Aaron into the other corner hard, as Aaron stumbles back Tank connects with a Spinebuster. Then goes for a Spingboard Leg Drop but Aaron rolls out of the way leaving Tank to a very uncomfortable landing. Aaron the quickly drops a knee to the head of Tank and goes for a pin, getting a two count. Aaron then picks Tank and up hits two consecutive vertical suplexes followed by a backbreaker for another two count. Aaron then goes for an Axe Kick, but Tank ducks it and hits the Orton Backbreaker and tags Seth in.
Seth approaches the grounded Aaron and starts slapping him around, he picks Aaron up and whips him to the ropes and connects with a Powerslam for a two count. Seth then immediately locks in a Chinlock. And starts wrenching away. Aaron eventually powers out and hits Seth with a back suplex. Aaron then goes to tag Motor-Colt in but Seth quickly stops him with a single leg take down. Seth then sets Aaron up for The Tales End, but Aaron ducks out of it and quickly hits Seth with an STO and tags Motor-Colt in.
Motor-Colt runs in and immediately clotheslines Seth down, followed by another. He pushes Seth into the corner and connects with a fierce European Uppercut, followed by a hard Irish Whip into the opposite Corner, then a Shining Wizard for a two count. Motor-Colt then sets Seth up for The Story on Page One, but Tank distracts the ref and Seth connects with a Low Blow then an Oklahoma Slam, Seth goes for the pin but Aaron breaks it up. Seth then starts stomping at Motor-Colt before tagging Tank in. The Tank then hit Motor-Colt with Suplex PowerSlam then tags Seth back in. The two men start double teaming Motor-Colt and Aaron then runs in the ring to help him out and an all out brawl ensues. And the ref loses control.
During the brawl, Tank attempts to hit the Annihilator on Motor-Colt, but Colt flips Tank to the outside. Seth hits Aaron with The Tale's End. Seth then attempts to hit it on Motor-Colt, but Motor-Colt counters with a Jaw Breaker, Colt then runs to the ropes and connects with a Million Dollar Knee lift, Colt bounces off of the next ropes and connects with a running Neckbreaker. Colt climbs up top and calls for the Flying Forearm, but Strykerdarksilences music hits and he stands at the top of the ramp taunting Motor-Colt. Tank then pushes Colt off. Seth takes advantage and hits Colt with The Tale's End and gets the pin.
Here are your winners, Seth Drakin and The Tank, The Crusade!
*Stryker hits the ring with a chair and grabs Aaron Enigma...BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX ONTO THE CHAIR!! WHAT'S HE DOING??!! BLACK MIST ON ENIGMA!! HE ROLLS AROUND IN AGONY AS STRYKER STANDS AND LAUGHS, HOLDING OFF THOSE OUTSIDE THE RING WITH THE CHAIR!! He grabs a mic...*
So then...people want a statement...how is this for a statement?! You all are missing the point. Without me this place would crumble...I'VE BLINDED 3 PEOPLE ON THE ROSTER, AND NOBODY HAS TOUCHED ME!! You understand, don't you Aaron!? You get it now! You all think this isn't going to work? You're either with me, or against me, and if you're against me...I WILL STRYKE YOU OUT!
Big thanks this week to Bring Back The Headbangers, Viva Los Bio Dome, Aaron Enigma, Stryker Dark Silence, Starshine, Motor-Colt, grbjazzman and The Sam for their help with the match writing. As always guys, it is much appreciated.
