Sunday Night Heatz!!1 - October 18, 2009
10/29/09
Welcome to Sunday Night Heatz!!1 I’m Gorilla Tim Hoss alongside Jesse King.
Gorilla, I know I always say we have a huge show, but tonight, we really do! Did you see the main event that’s been scheduled?!
Indeed I did, Jess. Jazzman, Jonathan Michaels, and The Deadly and The Sinful battle the former WWCF Corporate in a colossal 8-man main event!
Not only that, but we also have Above Average in action as he battles KCB!
We learned over the weekend that “Damn Right” Jackson attacked Above Average backstage. What kind of shape will he be in for this match?
Well, Above Average is a fighter, Gorilla. He’ll tough it out.
Oh I have no doubt of that. Folks, before we go to our opening match, here’s what Headbanger Man had to say about both his title match at Night of the Wrestling Zombies and his opponent tonight.
Tonight, I'm gonna give you all people a little sample of what you're going to witness at Night Of The Wrestling Zombies. Its almost unfortunate that I have to use this little smiley guy to show M.O.P. that I fight twice as hard as I rock, and that he should be fully focused on our match, because he's going to relinquish that Inter-Forum Title.
Relegate Hunter, you have a bright future ahead of you, but I'm THE future. Prepare for destruction.
The Headbanger Man V. Relegate Hunter
M.O.P. is seen sitting at ringside for the upcoming match.
The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
(Wild Child)
Introducing first, from Kent, England and weighing 263 pounds, he is the #1 contender to the Inter-Forum Championship...THE HEADBANGER MAN!
(Smile Like You Mean It)
And his opponent, from Brighton, England and weighing 190 pounds...RELEGATE HUNTER!
- Headbanger looks towards M.O.P., and motions to his belt. As he turns around, Hunter hits him with a flying forearm. Hunter lands a couple of dropkicks, which send Headbanger to the outside. Headbanger beats the steel steps in frustration. He glances again towards M.O.P., but as he gets up to the apron, Hunter meets him with a right hand. He goes to follow it up, but Headbanger snaps him across the top rope neck first.
- Headbanger hits an elbow and covers for the 1 count. He picks up Hunter and hits a powerslam. He then nails a spear for a 2 count. Headbanger goes up to the top rope, but Hunter runs the ropes, causing Headbanger to land uncomfortably on the top rope. Hunter then hits a perfect hurracanrana on Headbanger for a too close for comfort near-fall.
- Hunter tries for The Relegation, but Headbanger rolls away. Hunter lands on his feet behind him, and then pokes Headbanger in the eye when he turns around. Hunter attempts for the Sliced Bread #2, but Headbanger holds onto the turnbuckles, causing Hunter to fall backwards. He then hits a huge boot to the face for 2.
- Headbanger taunts the crowd, and then turns his attention to M.O.P. His Night Of The Wrestling Zombies opponent stands up and holds his belt aloft. Suddenly, Hunter rolls up Headbanger from behind with a hand full of tights, but Headbanger escapes the predicament at 2. He then hits a quick clothesline before admonishing the referee.
- Headbanger goes for the Holy Driver, but Hunter counters it into a back body drop. He then hits a running senton, but again he only gets a 2-count out of it. This time Hunter goes to the top rope, but misses with a split-legged moonsault attempt! Headbanger goes for a pinfall, but Hunter gets his foot on the bottom rope.
- Headbanger whips Hunter into the turnbuckles and hits a few shoulder charges into the midsection. He then goes for a Stinger splash, but Hunter moves out of the way. Hunter signals for the Dentist's Dream, but Headbanger is alert to the danger and slides under the bottom rope. Headbanger nails a forearm to the head, and then connects with a springboard Blockbuster back inside! He then hits the Double Bass DDT, which gets the 1...2...3!
Here is your winner - THE HEADBANGER MAN!
- The Headbanger Man celebrates by air-drumming towards the crowd, and then tells M.O.P. that he is out to take his championship. After Headbanger leaves the ring, Hunter is visibly frustrated with the loss, and refuses to slap fans with the hands on his way back up the aisle.
Relegate Hunter taking this loss pretty hard Jess.
Well Gorilla. Headbanger Man was just the better man tonight, plain and simple.
Indeed he was. And after Night of the Wrestling Zombies, he could well be the new Inter-Forum Champion.
Above Average V. KCB
*My Way*
This match is set for one fall. Introducing first, KCB!
*Poison*
And his opponent, Above Average!
Well, Above Average doesn’t appear to show any signs of being beat up or anything, Jess.
AA enters the ring and he and KCB tie up. KCB goes for a standing switch, but AA sweeps out his ankle and drops him to the mat. Average drops an elbow and goes for a quick cover.
1
Kickout.
AA stomps KCB, then picks him up, whips him into the corner and charges, only for KCB to dodge out of the way. AA stops himself just before he hit’s the corner. KCB runs at him, only to be met with the Superkick! Cover!
1!
2!
3!
Here is your winner, Above Average!
Well, despite the attack, Above Average picks up a dominating win.
It’s simple Gorilla. Nobody kick’s out of the Superkick. Never.
So far, that has been true, but it could be a whole different story come Night of the Wrestling Zombies.
Team Corporate versus Jazzman, Jonathan Michaels, and the Deadly and the Sinful
The following 8-man tag team match is set for one fall.
*You Asked For It*
Introducing first, weighing in at a combined 995 pounds, the 2009 Money in the Bank winner Tyfo, the WWCF World Tag Team Champions Two Guys Who Seriously Rock, and The Boiler Room Brawler, WWCF Corporate!
*DOA*
And their opponents, the WWCF Hardcore Champion Jonathan Michaels!
*Agent of Chaos*
And his partners, Koda and Legion, The Deadly and The Sinful!
*Lilac Lane*
And their partner, he is the WWCF World Heavyweight Champion, Jazzman!
Team Corporate begins to play Rock, Paper, Scissors to determine who goes first.
The other team tries to figure out who goes first.
Koda pulls out a twenty sided die and laughs at the befuddlement of his teammates.
The others disagree, so he throws it at the other team, hitting Cthulhu in the head, who slowly turns around and leers his way.
Cthulhu pushes away from Team Corporate as Koda enters the ring and foregoes any selection process for his team.
The ref motions to start the match as Cthulhu and Koda lock arms.
Koda twists and turns around, placing his arm around Cthulhu’s shoulders and seems to motion for a Russian leg sweep, but then he twists and turns around behind Cthulhu so that they are back to back.
Cthulhu turns around, but Koda keeps up with him and maintains his relative back to back angle with Cthulhu.
Eventually, Cthulhu stops, but Koda keeps going, and Cthulhu dropkicks Koda in the knees.
Koda rolls out of the ring and laughs at Cthulhu, whose expression gets angrier.
Cthulhu chases him outside and the two begin to run around the ring as the ref begins to count.
1...
Koda is circling around by Team Corporate.
2...
Starshine sticks out his leg and does a sort of “super kick from the apron” to Koda’s skull, knocking him down.
3...
Cthulhu catches up to Koda
4...
Cthulhu grabs Koda and directs him to the apron.
5...
Cthulhu slides Koda into the ring.
6...
Cthulhu slides into the ring himself.
Cthulhu turns Koda over to put him into some kind of hold, but Koda spits his Joker Venom into his face, temporarily blinding him.
As Cthulhu dances around in agony, Koda gets up, a little dizzy from Starshine’s Superkick, and tags in Jonathan Michaels, who rushes over and spears Cthulhu, backing him up to the corner.
He punches Cthulhu in the ribs a few times, and then lifts him up to the top rope.
Cthulhu clumsily reaches around Jonathan Michaels’s head and head butts him off the top rope.
Cthulhu, his eyes still closed, stands up on the top rope, jumps off, and knee drops the floor past and to the left of Jonathan Michaels.
Jonathan Michaels breathes a sigh of relief.
Cthulhu feels around for his Corporate brothers as he hears Starshine calling to him.
Starshine reaches out and tags Cthulhu to get into the ring.
Starshine leaps over the ropes as Jonathan Michaels returns to his feet.
The two men run and clothesline each other.
They both are rather surprised, but Starshine gets up sooner than Jonathan Michaels and jumps up onto the second rope and elbow drops him.
Jonathan rolls around from the sharp elbow of Starshine, who jumps up on the second rope again and elbow drops him.
Starshine goes for the pin.
The ref counts.
1...
2...
Suddenly, the ref is struck by a small projectile.
As he massages his cheek, he reaches over and picks up a twenty sided die.
The ref gets up and walks over to Koda, who points at someone in the audience.
Jonathan Michaels gets up and rolls out of the ring to confront this interference.
The ref begins the count.
1...
Jonathan Michaels comes around the ring corner.
2...
Jonathan Michaels comes up to the man that Koda pointed to.
3...
The fan denies having anything to do with it.
Starshine looks over to his Corporate teammates as if to say, “What is this crap?”
His teammates shrug.
4...
Jonathan Michaels grabs the fan by the shirt and lifts him up.
The fan has a dice bag for RPG’s hanging from his belt.
5...
Jonathan Michaels grabs the dice bag.
Koda has a somewhat surprised look on his face, indicating pure coincidence on his part.
6...
Jonathan Michaels hands the dice bag to security and tells the RPG nerd to sit down.
7...
Jonathan Michaels slides back into the ring.
Starshine gestures to him as if to ask, “What the hell, man?”
Jonathan Michaels gestures to Starshine as if to say, “Equalizer, remember?”
Starshine gestures to say, “Equalize this!”
Starshine tags in Boiler Room Brawler.
Boiler Room Brawler pounds his fists into his palms, ready to maul Michaels.
Michaels motions himself to say, “Okay, I will.”
Michaels tags in Legion.
BRB and Legion converge at the center of the ring, menacingly grinning at each other.
BRB swings a mighty punch at Legion’s face, who backs up and massages his jaw, but then returns and gives BRB a mighty haymaker of his own straight to the solar plexus.
BRB backs up, catching his breath, but then he returns to chop Legion in the chest, eliciting a “Woo!” from the crowd.
Legion chops BRB back in the chest.
The crowd goes “Woo!”
BRB chops Legion in the chest.
The crowd goes “Woo!”
Legion backs up, then runs for a lariat to BRB’s head.
BRB no sells the lariat, and the crowd goes, “Ooh…”
Legion then big boot kicks BRB in the face, knocking him down to the mat.
Legion drops down and starts to lay punches on BRB, who is still managing to return to his feet as he delivers his own punches to Legion’s side.
The two titans lock arms, and BRB Irish whips Legion to the ropes.
Legion bounces back on the rebound and attempts a splash as BRB slams himself into Legion, knocking the two men down.
BRB, the heavier of the two, slowly returns to his feet first.
He goes over to the turnbuckle to climb the ropes, but Legion starts to return to his feet and knocks BRB over.
From BRB’s fallen position in the turnbuckle, Legion places him in the Tree of Woe and starts to stomp on him.
Legion backs up and big boots BRB straight into the balls.
The crowd winces.
BRB falls over.
Legion turns BRB over and covers for the pin.
The ref begins the count.
1...
2...
3...
The ref looks over and notices that BRB got his arm on the rope and tells Legion that the match is not in fact over, and as he stands up, BRB is getting back up.
Legion goes over and tags in Koda, gesturing to him as if to say, “You figure it out.”
Koda laughs and enters the ring.
BRB gestures as if to say, “The hell is your problem, anyway?”
Koda laughs and flexes his shoulders and puts on a mock look of anger to look mightier to BRB.
BRB gestures for Koda to come over to him and try anything.
Koda walks up to BRB.
BRB leers at him, and Koda laughs and tags in Jazzman.
The crowd builds up as Jazzman crosses into the ring to face BRB, who outweight him by nearly 150 lbs.
BRB gestures to Jazzman to try anything.
Jazzman Yakuza kicks BRB right in the face!
BRB reels from the kick and backs up into the ropes
Jazzman runs over and jumps on the second rope and delivers an elbow drop to the back of BRB’s head.
BRB goes down to one knee and the crowd builds up more.
Jazzman jumps on the second rope again for another elbow drop to BRB’s back.
BRB topples over and the crowd goes wild.
Jazzman applies the Boston crab to BRB’s legs, really applying the pressure, but BRB pushes up and slowly redirects himself back to his team.
Jazzman tries to impede his movement by walking forward, but he’s sacrificing too much pressure to make it worth it.
BRB tags in Tyfo and the crowd is out of their chairs.
As Jazzman releases BRB to confront Tyfo, Tyfo runs over and bulldogs Jazzman to the mat.
BRB rolls out of the ring to recuperate his legs.
Tyfo grabs Jazzman and picks him back up into a bent over position.
Tyfo lifts up Jazzman’s legs for a piledriver, but Jazzman, twists a leg around Tyfo’s neck, like a triangle choke, but he forces Tyfo to the ground with a very unusually positioned sort of famouser.
With his leg twisted around Tyfo, Jazzman squeezes to apply the pressure and Tyfo starts to deliver punches to Jazzman’s sides.
Jazzman carefully reaches over and grabs one of Tyfo’s legs like for a single leg Boston crab.
The ref asks Tyfo if he gives up, but he refuses and begins to lose consciousness.
The ref lifts up Tyfo’s arm once…
He lifts it up twice…
Suddenly, he is toppled over by the force of a dice bag.
Jonathan Michaels checks himself and finds that he no longer has the dice bag.
Koda laughs, but stops suddenly as Jonathan Michaels swings his arms into his face for a lariat that knocks Koda off the apron.
The ref gets up and declares that Team Corporate wins on account of a disqualification.
Here is your winner, by account of a Disqualification, Team Corporate!
Team Corporate’s music hits.
As Team Corporate leaves with BRB helping Tyfo move and The Two Guys Who Seriously Rock helping BRB walk to boot, Legion confronts Jonathan Michaels over attacking his partner.
Jonathan Michaels points his finger into Legion’s chest over his dedication to the Equalizers’ goal.
Legion goes to strike Jonathan Michaels, who ducks and backs up.
As Legion goes to attack Michaels, he is bashed over the head from behind by the RPG nerd, who takes off his glasses and shirt, and turns out to have been the Head Detective, Aaron Enigma in disguise!
Koda laughs, but grabs Legion and they start to leave as Michaels and Enigma gesture to say, “We’re always watching…”
What a great main event, the ending aside.
What the hell was going on with Koda in that match, Gorilla?!
Jess, that’s a question nobody’s ever been able to answer. But even in defeat, The Equalizers have sent a strong message to the entire locker room.
They certainly did, Gorilla. It’s gonna be hard for anyone to put one over on someone as long as these guys are around.
Fans, we are out of time. For Jesse King, this is Gorilla Tim Hoss saying goodnight!
Credits: Headbanger Man, Evil M, and The Boiler Room Brawler
