Sunday Night Heatz!!1 - December 13, 2009
12/25/09
Welcome to Sunday Night Heatz!!1 I’m Gorilla Tim Hoss, alongside Jesse King!
We have an amazing show lined up tonight!
Indeed we do. Tonight, we have KCB taking on Cage King, Inspector Shetty battling The General of the Monkey Army and in our main event, Sparks meets one half of the former Tag Team Champions, Starshine!
But first, YellowJacket‘s Classroom!
*The camera pans across the set, giving the viewer a good look at everything. You see the desks (both teacher and student’s), as well as the Chalkboard. Written on the chalkboard is “TODAY’S LESSON: REFORM”*
*Michael Muffer gets on the mic:*
“Ladies and Gentleman, it is now time for class. Introducing teacher, he is the best pure athlete and the smartest man in the WWCF, Mr. Yellow Jacket!”
*“Going Down in Flames” by Three Doors Down blasts over the PA, as Yellow Jacket walks out from the back to a chorus of boos. His attention seems to be focused on the show, as he ignores the fans. He enters the ring with purpose, and grabs the mic from the announcer. A school bell starts to ring.*
“Students, take your seats. It’s time for class. Today’s lesson is reform. Merriam-Webster defines the word as “ to amend or improve by change of form or removal of faults or abuses”. Judging by the locker room, I reckoned that reformation was nonexistent. One man changed all of that.
This man wallowed in self pity and deceit. He hid behind a despicable act of morose conduct. He was a glorified stuntman, performing circus acts for a lowly division. The sad part about it, is he did for all of you.”
*Points to the fans*
“He put his body through hell, all for the affection of you ingrates. Instead of giving him a thank you, each and every one of you begged for more. One disgraceful act wasn’t enough for you careless parasites. Just like a rotten kid on Christmas Day, you wanted more and more and more. You didn’t care about your giver’s gifts, but rather bolstered in your own ignorance. This man had enough.
He made his “triumphant” return to the millions of screaming fans’ acquiescence. That resounding approval shortly turned to anger, as he called each and every one of you out for what you truly are: abhorrent mongols.
We may have had our troubles in the past. But, I would like to put that all behind us. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, please welcome my guest for this evening, Mr. Evil M.”
*“Thunderstruck” plays over the PA, as Evil M walks out from the back, being greeted with boos. This doesn’t bother him though, as his attention is solely on Yellow Jacket. He makes his way to the ring with authority. He grabs a mic and stares a hole through YJ.*
“Welcome to the show, Evil M. Before we begin, I would like to formally apologize for my previous actions. When I broke your arm, it wasn’t because I hated you. It was because I hated what you represented. You exemplified all that is wrong with this business, that being garbage wrestling known as Hardcore. That was the old you. The new you put all of that behind you in search of fortune. Unlike the past, I now respect you. Please accept my apology.”
*Yellow Jacket stands there quietly, as if he’s waiting for a thank you. Evil M stands still, looking on with disgust. YJ looks at Evil M with confusion.*
“Just as I thought. All of those years of head trauma do to the force of foreign objects has impaired your hearing. I’ll repeat myself. I’m sorry for…”
“Shut the hell up!”
*The crowd starts to cheer, but remembers who they’re cheering for and stop.*
“I don’t give a damn about your apology. I know exactly what you’re up to. You’re going to make up a pathetic apology, in the hopes that I’ll be dumb enough to fall for it. As I let my guard down, you’ll recruit me in your crusade against the Hardcore division, since you can’t seem to get the job done yourself. Once I help you get rid of the Hardcore Championship and its division, you’ll turn your back on me.
I hate to break it to you, Jacket, but I’m not that stupid.”
*Yellow Jacket is dumbfounded.*
“You have me all wrong, M. I’m not your enemy, I’m your friend. Your partner, your confidant. I’m not here to harm you, I’m here to help you.”
“Can it, Jacket! I didn’t come here to accept your proposal. I came here to announce that I’m inserting myself into your match with Jonathan Michaels at A Very Special WWCF Christmas.”
*YJ looks stunned, but then puts forth a little smile.*
“You know, I have no problem with that. You deserve to be in that match, to get your revenge against Jonathan Michaels. Together, we can put an end to his parade of corruption.”
“You really are clueless, aren’t you? I’m not entering myself in the match at WWCF Christmas to team with you. Yes, I’m entering it to get revenge against Jonathan Michaels. But, I’m also entering it to get revenge against you.
Therefore, you can take your wretched apology and shove it. I’ll see you at A Very Special WWCF Christmas.*
*Evil M drops his mic and walks off. YJ starts to stumble.*
“But, but, but…”
*The Classroom ends with a befuddled Yellow Jacket, nervously watching Evil M leave.*
Well. I’m not sure that went exactly how Yellow Jacket was hoping it would.
Evil M says he’s not stupid, but then he goes and refuses Yellow Jacket’s offer of friendship. I hope Yellow Jacket breaks his other arm!
……Let’s go to the ring for our first match.
KCB V. Cage King
The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
Now entering the ring from Chicago, IL...
Weighing in at 235lbs... K... CB!
KCB enters the arena to a shower of boos, but he makes his way to the ring with a scowl on his face.
KCB sure is one cocky man, and these fans know it.
These fans know nothing, Gorilla. They would cheer for a wannabe if they were told that he was the good guy!
And the challenger...
*Cageking enters to the sound of a music beat, freestyle rapping his way to the ring to a chorus of cheers and boos*
Maybe there's some hope for the fans after all.
Weighing in at 295lbs and hailing from Los Angeles, California...
Cageking!
The WWCF fans are the lifeblood of this company, King.
And I'm saying that we will lose the fans one day when wrestlers like Cage King are trotted out!
KCB is removing his black trenchcoat as Cageking enters the ring and tosses the mic away.
I can think of worse superstars to cheer for...
Like who?
Referee "Spud" Verne Johnson begins the match.
No time for that Jesse because this match is started!
KCB dives for Cageking's legs, just making a successful takedown.
KCB going for a takedown.
Demonstrating his physical prowess over that fat rapping load!
Will you stop it?
KCB attempts to make a pin on Cageking, and Referee "Spud" Verne Johnson goes for the count.
1...
Cageking kicks out and kicks KCB away from himself.
He was so close to putting this loser out of commission! What gives?
How soon you forget, Jesse. Cageking faced off against The General of the Monkey Army in the grueling Hardcore Horrors two months ago.
Cageking returns to his feet and runs at KCB, diving into the air and knocking him in the head with his elbow.
Yeah, but he lost that match to a superior wrestler.
KCB is down to the mat, and Cageking capitalizes by stomping all over him.
It took the whole pay per view for these men to defeat each other, King. They were at each other's throats, ready to flat-out murder each other with chained hooks, clawed gloves, machetes, Boiler Room Brawler, and even cymbals!
Cageking uses the ropes as leverage for jumping up into the air to make one final, mighty stomp, but KCB rolls out of the way to the outside.
Look, pay attention to the match, Gorilla because Cage King just squashed his foot, the fool!
Cageking falls to the mat, clutching his leg from the shock while KCB recovers.
Of course I'm paying attention, King. I've seen both of these men wrestle many times before.
Referee "Spud" Verne Johnson begins to count.
1...
KCB continues to recover as Cageking slips underneath the ropes.
It takes a lot more than mere takedowns to take down Cage King.
2...
KCB returns to his feet to punch Cageking, temporarily driving him away.
Yeah, but KCB is a mat technician who knows his way around that ring better than Cage King ever will!
3...
KCB walks up to Cageking and locks arms with him.
You forget Jesse, that WWCF is the home of the greatest wrestling variety in the world.
4...
Cageking wins out and Irish whips KCB towards the ring steps but he reverses and Irish whips Cageking towards them in turn.
Cage King works a much more hardcore style which is interesting when juxtaposed with KCB's technical style.
5...
KCB runs after Cageking who stops suddenly and catches him with The Overnight Celebrity, impacting Cageking's head on the ring steps.
And it's Cage King with The Overnight Celebrity to the stairs!
No way!
The crowd pops as Cageking recovers from the shock to his back from the move.
6...
Cageking limps back up, his leg still hurting, but KCB does not stir.
This is an outrage, Gorilla! This is the very reason that Seth Drakin is trying to abolish the Hardcore Championship!
7...
Cageking sloppily slides back into the ring.
I may not be the most enthusiastic fan of hardcore wrestling, but WWCF is about entertaining the fans, and Cage King just delivered.
8...
Cageking limps along, one hand raised in the air.
Yeah, he just delivered a cheap victory, a count out, Gorilla? Is this your idea of wrestling?
9...
KCB begins to stir.
Count outs are part of the rules, King.
10!
The winner of this match, by a count out: Cageking!
Cage King doesn't deserve this victory, Gorilla! He cheated. He used those stairs!
Referee "Spud" Verne Johnson seems to think otherwise, Jesse-
I don't care what "Spud" thinks, Gorilla! He's old and rusty and should be canned!
Oh will you stop it?
The General of the Monkey Army V. Inspector Shetty
The following contest is scheduled for one fall and has a 15 minute time limit.
*The King Kong theme plays on the PA. The General, along with Tinkers the monkey riding his shoulder enter the stage.*
Introducing first, accompanied by his wife Tinkers. He comes to us from The Deep Dark Jungle and weighs in tonight at 225 pounds. He is the General of the Monkey Army.
*Tinkers hops off the General as they reach the ring and climbs the ropes, hanging off the top one. The General enters the ring and raises his arm to the crowd.*
And his opponent-
*Wannabe in L.A. plays on the PA as Inspector Shetty struts onto the stage.
From Bombay, England, he weighs in tonight at 265 pounds. This is Inspector Shetty.
*Shetty stops ringside and looks at Tinkers in disbelief. He climbs into the ring and poses center stage.*
*The bell rings*
The General challenges Shetty to a test of strength. Shetty ignores him, instead choosing to badmouth some nearby fans. The General stomps the mat, gaining Shetty’s attention. He challenges him again to the test of strength. Shetty raises his hand to meet the General’s but fakes him out. He shakes his finger and tells the General he’ll only test his strength in arm wrestling. He lies down on the mat and holds his hand out. The General ponders for a moment, hits the mat himself and meets Shetty’s grip. They look at referee John Creed who in turn holds their hands steady, counts them down and lets them go. Both struggle against one another. Shetty has the early advantage and looks to win as he takes the leverage advantage over his opponent. But the General refuses to give up and pushes back turning the tide. In a panic, Shetty uses both hands, but The General refuses to give in and slams both his hands on the mat. Shetty grabs his arm and accuses the General of cheating. Referee John Creed disagrees and raises The General’s hand. Shetty kicks the nearby bottom rope, and challenges The General to a traditional test of strength. The General crosses his arms and shakes his head, as Shetty pleads with him. He holds out his hand and instead challenges Shetty to a thumb war. Shetty accepts and they lock knuckles. John Creed, along with the audience counts down the challenge and they start. The General takes the early advantage and captures Shetty’s thumb for a two count, but Shetty is quick to slip out. Shetty fights back and they both and up fighting all around the ring, hitting each turnbuckle as they go. The General again has Shetty’s thumb under his grip as John Creed makes the count.
1…
2…
Shetty cries out in defiance and escapes. He takes the General by surprise and grabs his thumb. Caught off guard, The General can do nothing but look around in disbelief.
1…
2…
3
Shetty runs around the ring, arms raised in triumph as the General disappointedly slaps the mat. John Creed raises Shetty’s hand, but it is dropped by The General. He raises a finger on each hand, representing their tie and again challenges him to the traditional test of strength. Shetty obliges and they clasp hands, center ring. Neither one has the advantage early on, but Shetty is the first to take advantage. The General bridges back, saving himself from another defeat. He powers back up and Shetty bridges himself as he’s pushed back. Shetty holds on for a moment but loses his balance and hits the mat. The General tries for a pin.
1…
2…
Shetty kicks out and getting back to his feet, shoves The General back. The General shoves him back and they end up in a shoving battle. As General goes for another shove, Shetty sneakily ducks under and schoolboy’s him.
1…
2…
The General kicks out. Shetty is quick to his feet and hits the ropes, for a lariat. The General ducks, Shetty continues on and hits the opposite side where Tinkers is. As he connects with the ropes, Tinkers is knocked to the apron then to the floor. John Creed makes and ‘X’ sign and Shetty stops to look back while the General climbs to his knees.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shetty rushes back towards the General but he’s quickly sidestepped by The General and rolled up into a schoolboy.
1…
2…
3
The Winner of this match, The General of the Monkey Army.
*The General climbs outside and picks up Tinkers’ limp body as the referee and other paramedics come to his side. The General fawns over his monkey friend as everyone looks on solemnly. Suddenly, Tinkers jumps up and climbs The General’s shoulder. The General happily gets back to his feet and walks toward the back.
Meanwhile, in the ring Shetty tries to figure out what just happened. He exits the ring and blows off the jeering crowd as he makes his way backstage.*
What the hell was that?! Shetty just got beat… because of a monkey?!
Looks that way, Jess.
Unbelievable.
Well, now we turn our attention to our main event. Starshine takes on the spider man, Sparks!
Monkeys, spiders, decapitated chickens, this place is becoming a damn zoo!
…..Let’s go to Michael Muffer.
Sparks V. Starshine
The following is a one fall contest, and your main event of the evening!
Pull me under - Dream Theatre
Introducing first, from Sevierville, TN. weighing in at 216 pounds, the Arachnimaniac...SPAAARRRRKKSSSS!
Sparks comes out with his pet Scar on his shoulder. He plays to the crowd as he puts Scar in the clear glass box.
Well, Gorilla, I can tell you right now, one of the major things on Sparks's mind is fighting Amigo. He beat Cage King last week, but can he use that momentum to win this week?
Well we are surely gonna find out tonight! I absolutley cannot wait!
Supermassive Black Hole - Muse
And his opponent, from Sydney, Austrailia, weighing in at 220 pounds...STAARRRSHIIIINE!
Starshine comes out too many jeers and boos as he makes his way to the ring.
Starshine was in a setllar match with Aaron Enigma. Even though he lost, he looked great.
Exactly, Jesse! Tonight, he is going to battle the young rookie, Sparks. Will he be able to use his technical prowess to pin the self-proclaimed Arachnimaniac?
The bell rings. Starshine and Sparks lock up. Starshine wrenches Sparks's arm behind his back and pushes him into the ropes. He turns around and Starshine clotheslines him out of the ring. Starshine goes to the outside and starts stomping on Sparks's chest.
1!
Starshine picks him up tries to irish whip, but Sparks counters and sends Starshine into the ring post!
2!
Sparks drags Starshine back to ringside and goes back into the ring.
3!
Starshine gets back to his feet as Sparks runs the ropes and dives out of the ring, but Starshine moves out of the way and Sparks goes head first into the barricade!
4!
Starshine runs back into the ring as Sparks lays clutching his head.
5!
Oh man! That looks like the difference maker! He may have a concussion!
6!
Sparks is starting to get back to his feet. Starshine looks on and shakes his head, as if he were saying "That's it. That's the end."
7!
Sparks is on both legs. He is stumbling a bit.
8!
Sparks grabs the apron and pulls himself over. He starts to climb up, but Starshine grabs Sparks by the head and throws him back into the ring. He makes the cover.
1...
kickout.
Starshine stretches out Sparks's arm and stomps on it. He picks him up and irish whips him and nails an elbow with momentum. Sparks looks to be in obvious pain as he clutches his head with a grimace. He mounts Sparks and starts punching him in the temples. He then gives him a back rake. Makes the cover.
1...
2...
Kickout.
Starshine picks up Sparks. He goes for a knee lift, but Sparks grabs it and counters with an enziguri. Sparks collapses in pain and fatigued. The referee goes to check on him, and he says he's ok and wants the match to continue. Both men are down.
1!
He crawls to the ropes to pull himself up. Starshine does the same with the turnbuckles.
2!
Both men are up. Starshine is on the turnbuckles. Sparks goes over to him and starts punching him. The referee seperates the two, but Starshine gets in a Blind Spot. The referee yells at Starshine and argues wtih him. While Starshine's back is turned, Sparks goes for a School Boy.
1...
2...
SS reverses it into a roll up!
1...
2...
Kickout.
SS drags Sparks to the center of the ring and locks in a chinlock. The crowd is cheering Sparks as SS tightens the grip. Sparks slowly tries to get up, but SS lets go and hammers Sparks in the back. He locks it back in. Sparks has a look of extreme pain as SS wrenches and tightens. Sparks then starts to slowly get up to his feet. Sparks elbows SS in the side until he lets go. Sparks runs at SS and gets hit with a swinging neckbreaker! The cover!
1...
2...
Kickout.
SS throws Sparks into the corner. SS sets him on the top rope and goes up with him. He goes for a superplex, but Sparks punches him off the top. Sparks turns around and moonsaults onto SS! Cover!
1...
2...
Kickout!
Sparks locks in a Camel Clutch, but SS grabs the ropes. The referee separates Sparks from SS. Sparks picks up SS and goes for a Coup-de-Grace, but SS counters it into a reverse DDT! SS goes on the second rope. He taunts the crowd and gets major heat. He jumps to drop the elbow, but Sparks moves out of the way! SS hits the mat with his elbow hard and cradles his arm. Sparks picks him up and nails a Spark-te-plex! He hooks the leg!
1...
2...
3!
Here is your winner...SPAAARRRKKSSSS!
Sparks celebrates in the ring, he goes up on the top rope and taunts for the crowd!
What a fantastic Heatz main event, Gorilla! Both athletes looks amazing. Starshine pulled out all the stops, but it was Sparks who secured the win!
So chalk up another win for Sparks and another loss for Starshine!
Starshine sneaks up behind Sparks and gets him with a low blow!
Oh! Starshine with a cheapshot! What a classless act! Coming from him, I am not suprised at all.
Starshine goes to the outside and throws the ring announcer out of a chair. He grabs it and goes back inside. He waits for Sparks to get up and smacks him in the head with it! Sparks is laid out on the mat, bleeding. SS stands over him and raises his arm, smirking.
Supermassive Black Hole - Muse
My god! Sparks has just been busted open! After that dive headfirst into the barricade, he might have a serious injury!
SS leaves the ring as EMTs rush in to check on Sparks. He looks back and taunts one more time and gets major heat.
What a horrible way to end an otherwise great main event. The rookie has been put through hell in the very beginnings of his career. Well, hopefully this isn't the last we see Sparks in the ring, but I can guarantee you, this isn’t the last we see these two going head to head. From Jesse King and myself! Goodnight from Sunday Night Heatz!
Credits: YellowJacket, Boiler Room Brawler, Starshine and Sparks
