Monday Niteraw - December 28, 2009
2/5/10
*The arena is dark. Cameras flash in the crowd. As the arena illuminates, we see Sparks standing in the middle of the ring, holding a microphone, with a stern and determined look on his face. The crowd gives him a mixed reaction*
Okay...I know what I did last Monday wasn't...widely accepted...but I can assure you all...the reason I helped Jazzman win and retain his title wasn't because...
*The crowd erupts with mostly boos. It's so loud that Sparks is enable to speak. A look of anger comes across his face*
It wasn't because I wanted him to win!...
*The crowd goes silent. Some are jeering, some are chanting things, but for the most part, the arena is mostly quiet and shocked.*
...it was because I wanted Amigo to lose...I don't care if he is fighting Jazzman, Aaron Enigma, Starshine, "Gorilla" Tim Hoss, Buck Futter, The Fishmonger, God, or even Satan himself!...as long as he loses his match with who the hell ever and it's MY fault...mission accomplished...I'm satisfied...and the day is done.
One week ago, Amigo had a match. Against Jazzman. For the world title. And I got...involved.
*The crowd boos very loudly, once again disabling Sparks to speak. Sparks looks infuriated.*
SHUT THE HELL UP AND LET ME FINISH, DAMNIT!
*The arena goes completely silent. No jeering, no chanting, just utter silence.*
...I got involved, but, needless to say, I was laid out...Amigo introduced me to his new finisher, the Bom-by...some stupid name. Anyway, he beat me. I don't give a single s*** about that. All I wanted to do was to see Amigo leave with nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just anger and frustration. And I believe I have accomplished that...even though I got my ass kicked. But Amigo, if you're listening, I want you to know this. This is going to continue. Every single match that you are in, expect me to be there. I don't care if you want a good match. I want you to lose. I don't care who it is against, I want you to lose. I don't care if it's for a title, I want you to LOSE!...and there is only one way out.
*Sparks pulls out an official looking paper.*
THIS contract. If you put your chicken scratch on this paper, we have a match next PPV. And don't worry, you nimrod. If you have a title, it won't be on the line. I don't give a damn about any titles. All I want is your blood. So think about it during our match and make up your damn mind before I destroy it.
*Sparks throws the mic and the announce table and storms off to a mixed reaction*
*The NiteRaw opening video plays*
Welcom everyone to Monday NiteRaw! Gorilla Tim Hoss here, alongside Jesse King!
Gorilla, Christmas is behind us and now we move onwards to King of WrestleCrap!
We see The Sam sitting in the front row wearing a long black trenchoat, buttoned shirt, tie, baseball cap and sitting with a couple of guys holding signs that say “The Sam > Seth Drakin”, “Seth Drakin Fears The Sam”, “The Sam = Ratings”, “I Paid To See Fishmonger”
Well, look who’s here, Jess!
It’s that turncoat, The Sam! I hope Commissioner Morton does the right thing and kick his ass out of here!
He paid for his ticket Jess-
And who’s credit card did he use this time?! Huh?!
………. Let’s go to the ring for our opening contest.
Little Naitch V. Stryker
The lights dim and *The New Blackjacks* hits on the Crappertron.
Folks, do we have a treat in store for you tonight! Littlenaich of the Southwest Connection vs Stryker of the Resistance!
We sure do, 'Rilla! And with The Southwest Connection being the newly crowned #1 Contenders for the Tag Team Titles, a win here could give the winners the momentum in to their title match!
Bagpipes sound as the Crappertron shows Strykers logo, and he makes his way to the ring with Viva in tow.
That Viva Los Bio Dome sure has caused a lot of trouble around here lately! Can you believe what he said to Seth Draken last week? You've gotta wonder what kind of mischief he's going to be up to in Strykers corner tonight.
Luckily for Littlenaich, Tyfo is no slouch! He can take care of business if Viva even thinks of sticking his nose where it doesn't belong!
Referee Will Alphonso calls for the bell and the match gets under way with a quick lock up. Littlenaich quickly gets the momentum and throws Stryker with a quick scoop slam. Littlenaich keeps it rolling with a series of stomps and a quick elbow drop.
Viva Los Bio Dome begins smacking on the apron impatiently.
Viva has GOT to know that he is not helping matters!
Littlenaich glances over, but keeps his attention undivided on Stryker. Stryker begins getting up and Littlenaich connects with a stiff kick to the gut. As Stryker writhes in pain on the ground, Naich flips him over and locks him in a half boston crab. The ref begins checking on Stryker, seeing if he's going to tap.
Viva again smacks the apron impatiently, this time yelling Why are you such a f***ing joke, Stryker? Get your head out of your ass and beat this guy! Naich and Tyfo both yell "SHUT THE HELL UP!" and Naich continues to apply pressure.
This is getting ugly, 'Rilla. It seems like Viva is completely missing the point of being out there tonight. It may as well be three versus one. Now, I'm not saying he doesn't have a very good point. Stryker has not been holding his end of the bargain in The Resistance. Viva's tactics aren't helping anybody, though.
Stryker finally gathers the strength and crawls to the ropes. He uses the ropes to stand himself up and walks directly into a belly to back suplex. Naich climbs up the top rope and delivers an atomic leg drop, and begins licking his chops.
Stryker, decimated in the middle of the ring, tries to find the strength to get up. Naich stomps him once, grabs both of his legs, and locks in the figure four.
It doesn't take long before the exhausted Stryker taps.
Viva can hardly believe it as the announcer calls out:
Your winner, Littlenaich!
Well, I don't think anyone saw that coming. A quality win for Littlenaich, in what quite frankly, turned out to be a squash. I don't know if Viva and Stryker can coexist any longer, 'Rilla.
Things are getting hot, and if you have any sense at all, you're wondering how long tensions can stay this high without boiling over! Are The Resistance's titles secure?
Southwest Connection celebrate the win and make their way backstage.
Viva Los Bio Dome grabs a microphone.
Really, Stryker? Really? I've continuously told the world time and time again that I am the reason we're champions, and THIS is how you prove not only me, but the world wrong? You get squashed? If you can't get up for a match to prove your teammate that you're worthy of a damn, then you're even more of a joke than I thought. When are you gonna get your head out of your ass and show us the Stryker that people used to fear? Just as I was afraid of when I first started teaming with you, you're a f***ing has been. I don't even think you got in ONE offensive move tonight. And you call yourself a champion. I think it's high time you retire, old man.
You know what, what's the point in waiting? Southwest Connection, you're currently #1 contenders. I've got no reason to wait, do you? Lets have our championship match this coming Sunday on Heatz!!1 I say Heatz!!1 because a few of us have engagements on Niteraw. These people could use a reason to watch, anyways. I anxiously anticipate your answer, Naich, Tyfo.
Stryker, you're better off just staying down for the count. You are honestly useless. You better bring your A game, s***, bring ANY game you have left in that empty tank of yours, to our championship match.
The match the world has been waiting for on FREE TV?! I don't like Viva's methods, King, but I like his style!
*Commercial*
We return to see The Sam and his 2 friends are starting a “We Want Sam” chant.
C’mon Commissioner Morton! Kick his ass outta here!
Jess, he hasn’t done anything yet!
He’s disrupting the show!
….. Jesse, you could just ignore him.
But I shouldn’t have to! Don’t you listen?!
"You Know That Time In Your Life, That Single Moment That Defines Exactly Who You Are? Well That Only Stings For A Second..."
Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em
The WWCF arena goes nuts beofre the music cuts out and Branford Marsalis' "Hope" is played as Jazzman comes out to the ring in a nice pintstripe suit carrying a sack.
What, were you idiots expecting somone else? Did you really think that old man would come out here and save the day? God, you folks are dumber than I thought.
Now, on to buisness. As you can see, I'm still your WWCF champion
*Boos rain down on Jazzman*
Well, you know, I deserve that. I should have beaten Amigo down and yet he kept getting up. He's a tough dude to beat, but I know that I was better than him. But I went out and I did my job.
Now, because of my exellence I will take on the #1 contender Aaron Enigma
*Crowd pops huge*
Really? You people are going to cheer for that chump? The belt is around my waist, not his. This title means I'm the best wrestler walking the face of this planet, and I'll be damned if a Sherlock Holmes rip-off takes it from me.
All you morons say that Enigma's the embodiment of what you fans want the WWCF to be. Well, how about a reality check for all of you? If Enigma was the face of this company right now, you'd have a very talented guy who always chokes in the big moment. The kid has no titles to his name, but has come so close.
Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades folks. I'm going to become the longest reigning world champion ever in a week, and you choose to idolize the guy who has never won a belt before? That's poor decision making.
But enough about Aaron, we've got the next 5 weeks to trade insults. How was everyone's Christmas?
*The crowd cheers at the mention of Christmas as Jazzman chuckles*
Figured that would get you morons back on my side. Well, I'm sure that everyone had a good christmas and Santa Claus got you just what you wanted. As for me, I got some gifts I didn't need and I thought about returning them, but instead I thought I'd use them to supply some heat to the arena for the night. Boys, get me the empty drum will you?
*Two stagehands come out with an empty oil drum and set it in the center of the ring*
Thanks, first let me reach here into the ol' sackaroonie and see what we can find.
*Jazzman reaches in and pulls out a lion with the words "Pride Never Dies" stiched on it*
Ah yes, I believe one of you fans sent me this as a remberance of where I started in this business. Well, that part of my career is dead and gone now, so no need for that.
*Jazzman throws the lion in the drum as he reaches in and pulls out the new WWCF: Year 1 DVD*
I was there folks, I don't need to know what happened. The history of this compnay isn't as important as it's future.
*Jazzman throws he DVD set into the drum as he pulls out some shirts and a robe*
Now what do we have here, a Seth Drakin shirt, an Above Average shirt and a replica Little Naitch robe. All these are men I have defeated. They too are part of the past of this company, a past which is no longer relevant. Those can go in there as well.
*Jazzman throws the shirts and robe in and reaches into the sack and pulls something out that the fans don't see.*
Now this, this is a one of a kind item that I was lucky enough to get a few weeks back, but it too needs to go.
*Jazzman holds up a Phantom of the Oprea mask signed by Motor-Colt as the crowd cheers*
This is the mask that Colt pulled out of the bag on Nite-Raw when he retired and I asked for it. Now, I'm here to burn it.
*the crowd begins to cheer "We want Colt"*
Good, go ahead you monkeys, get it out, cheer that as loud as you want because he's not coming back! Maybe, I don't know, would you like it if I put it on?
*the crowd cheers*
Well, tough. That's what you folks wanted all along isn't it. You wanted Jazzman to be your next Motor-Colt! You wanted me to come out with the catchphrases and the fighting spirit and bow down to your every whim? Well, that wasn't going to happen! I didn't want to be the next Colt, I wanted to be the first Jazzman. I've proven I'm better than all of them and you folks throw me away. Well now, it's time for me to return the favor.
*Jazzman throws the mask in the drum and lights it on fire.*
There you go folks, the past of this company up in flames. I am the champion of the new age. I've defeated all the ties to the beginning of this compnay and now it's time to tie-up the last end. The hand picked boy who would be king. Motor-Colt's spiritual successor Aaron Enigma. I'll see you at King of Wrestlecrap Aaron, just be sure you don't go down in flames.
Oh, and for tonight's match... if you folks don't start to treat me with respect I won't be coming back out to face MOP, so shape up or ship out!
*The WWCF champion leaves to a loud chorus of boos and jeers as we get a close up of the burning goods of Jazzman*
Y’know Jess, I’ve always been a huge Jazzman supporter, but I am not a fan of this new attitude of his.
That’s funny, because I think it’s great!
Well, folks we’ll be right back with Aaron Enigma and Sparks V. Starshine and Amigo!
*Commercial*
We see security and WWCF Commissioner Jessica Morton standing around The Sam and his associates. Jessica is telling security to remove The Sam from the arena. The Sam and associates reluctantly agree as the fans boo at Jessica and security. We see The Sam being led out of the arena as the next match starts.
YES!!! Justice has been served, Gorilla!
Well, apparently Commissioner Morton has gotten fed up with The Sam’s antics.
This is a great moment Gorilla!
Easy big guy. Let’s take it to Michael Muffer for our next match!
Starshine and Amigo V. Aaron Enigma and Sparks
Michael Muffer – The Following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall and has a 30 minute time limit.
*Welcome to Hell plays on the PA. Amigo makes his way down the ramp, looking as “cheery” as ever.*
Michael Muffer – Introducing first, from Tempe Arizona and weighing in tonight at 214 pounds. This is Amigo!
*Amigo enters the ring and stands in the center, grimacing at the crowd.*
Michael Muffer – And introducing his partner-
*Supermassive Black Hole plays on the PA as Starshine enters the stage, still showing his undying confidence.*
Michael Muffer – From Sydney, Australia, he weighs in tonight at 220 pounds. He is the self proclaimed Technical Professional. This is Starshine!
*Starshine climbs the turnbuckle from outside and poses as Amigo stares at him from across the ring. Starshine jumps inside and the two meet eyes. Neither seems pleased to see one another.*
Michael Muffer – And their opponents-
*Pull Me Under plays on the PA as Sparks makes his way from the back along with his spider, Scar.*
Michael Muffer – Accompanied by Scar, he comes to us from Sevierville, Tennessee and weighs in tonight at 216 pounds. This is Sparks!
*Sparks stops at ringside and eyes his opponents. Amigo makes an aggressive advance, but is stopped by the referee. While being held back, Amigo still keeps his eyes on him. Starshine meanwhile leans in the farthest corner turnbuckle, watching both.*
Michael Muffer – And his partner-
*Make a Move plays on the PA as Aaron Enigma makes his way on stage to a very favourable crowd reaction.*
Michael Muffer – Coming to us from Chicago, Illinois and weighing in tonight at 256 pounds. He is the Head Detective, Aaron Enigma!
*Aaron reaches Sparks side and assesses the situation. He and Sparks meet eyes and nod. Aaron drops his coat as Sparks places Scar in his box nearby, the two quickly rush the ring in unison and slide in. They both duck an Amigo clothesline and rebound off the opposite ropes, and knock him down with double shoulderblocks. They high five and turn their attention to Starshine, who exits post haste. Amigo gets back to his feet and clubs Sparks in the back of his head. Aaron lunges at Amigo, but referee John Creed gets in between the two, stopping them. Sparks suddenly lunges at Amigo and the two roll outside and to the floor. Starshine slides back in and schoolboys Aaron just as the bell rings*
1...
Aaron kicks out and the two square off, ring center.
Aaron attempts a clothesline, but Star ducks and applies an arm wringer. Aaron rolls forward and drags Star down, locking in an arm bar. Star gets to his knees, rolls forward into a side headlock.
Outside, officials and securito manage to break up Amigo and Sparks and send the two to their respective corners.
Back inside, Aaron rolls Star on his shoulders.
1…
2…
Star kicks out.
Aaron kips up and hits the rope. As he does Amigo clubs him on the back. Aaron turns to sock him one, but Amigo drops to the floor. Aaron turns around and dodges a superkick from Star. He goes for another clothesline, but Star ducks, grabs him and hits him with an STO backbreaker. He goes for the cover.
1…
2…
Aaron kicks out.
Star Picks up Aaron and brings him to his corner to tag in Amigo. Amigo roughly shoves Aaron to the mat and points at Sparks, telling Aaron to tag him. Aaron looks back at Sparks who reaches his hand out. He gets to his feet and hesitantly tags him in. Sparks begins to enters, but Amigo immediately knocks him outside. Amigo follows him out and tosses him into the nearby ring steps. Aaron tries to intervene, but as he does Amigo rolls Sparks back inside and follows. Amigo delivers a series of stomps on the downed Sparks, taunting and mocking him all the while. He lifts up Sparks by his hair and smashes his face into a nearby turnbuckle. He drops Sparks to the mat and makes a lazy cover.
1…
Amigo lifts Sparks up and smashes his face into the turnbuckle again. He drops Sparks and watches as he crawls and scrapes toward Aaron in his corner. Just as he’s a hair’s breath away Amigo drags him back center ring and applies a half crab. Aaron quickly breaks the hold by shoving Amigo from behind. Amigo turns and goes for Aaron, but is caught from behind by a clothesline from Sparks. Sparks climbs the turnbuckle as Amigo reaches his feet again. He dives off and connects with a flying clothesline sending Amigo down again. He gets to his feet and leaps to his corner tagging in Aaron. Aaron enters and knees Amigo in his gut. He hits the ropes and hits an axe kick. He motions for the Brilliant Deduction and preps Amigo for the move. Star rushes in, frees his partner and levels Aaron with a lungblower before quickly exiting back outside. Both Aaron and Amigo are slow to their feet. Amigo stumbles up near his corner and Star takes the opportunity to blind tag himself in. He helps Aaron to his feet and takes him back down with a swinging neckbreaker. Amigo suddenly attempts a pin, but the ref tells him he’s not the legal man. Amigo looks pissed as he leaves to his corner. Star grabs Aaro’s legs and applies the Sharpshooter. He leans back and pulls deep as Aaron contemplates tapping. Sparks breaks the hold. He glances towards Amigo, but he doesn’t make a single movement. Star grabs Sparks by his attire and tosses his out again. He turns back to Aaron but is caught in a small package pin.
1…
2…
Star kicks out.
Aaron gets to his feet first and hits the ropes. He knocks Star down with a clothesline. Star stumbles back to his feet and Aaron hits him with a vertical suplex. He picks Star up again and hits a reverse STO, he follows up with the Extreme Interrogation. Star fights against the hold but can’t escape. Amigo casually enters the ring and roughly stomps Aaron’s head. He turns to leave3 when he suddenly turns and knocks Sparks off his apron with a forearm. Aaron knocks Amigo outside with a clothesline. Star blindsides him and connects with his modified Russian backbreaker. He props him in the corner turnbuckle and hits another lungblower. He climbs up to the second rope and leaps off with an elbow drop. Aaron rolls away, Star hits the mat and cradles his arm. Sparks jumps back to his corner and Aaron tag him in. Sparks rushes in and attempts the Spark-Te-Plex. Star knees himself free and hooks his arms for the Starblind. Sparks twists free and delivers a bridging back suplex.
1…
2…
Star kicks out.
Both get to their feet and Sparks attempts a cutter. Star blocks and shoves him to the mat. He climbs his team’s turnbuckle and Amigo blind tags himself in. He drops a rushing elbow on Sparks as Star drops into his corner position. Amigo sits Sparks up and slaps his knee, calling for his finisher. He hits the ropes and goes for the knee kick, but Sparks ducks and schoolboys him.
1…
2…
Amigo kicks out and the two are back on their feet.
Amigo swings a hook, but Sparks ducks. Amigo catches a tow kick, but Sparks connects with an enzuiguri. Amigo clutches the side of his head and rolls outside. He kicks the crowd barricade and grabs a steel chair. Referee John Creed warns him to put it down. Amigo appears to come to his senses and leans the chair against the ring apron. As John Creed turns his attention away, Amigo grabs slides the chair in an re-enters the ring. He levels Sparks with a lariat and grabs the steel chair. John Creed tries to stop him but Amigo ignores his pleas. Sparks climbs to his knees and Amigo lifts the chair above his head. Before he can swing it, Star grabs the chair from behind. The two argue with one another. Sparks hits the distracted Amigo with a clothesline from behind, sending him colliding into Starshine. The two connect with the chair, Star is sent outside, while Amigo stumbles around. Sparks grabs him and suplexes him over into the Spark’Te’Plex.
1…
2…
3
Michael Muffer – The winners of this match; Sparks and The Head Detective Aaron Enigma!
*Aaron enters the ring and celebrates with Sparks, the two look down at the fallen Amigo and smile. Starshine, clutching his head rolls in from the outside with the chair, and the two take a fighters stance. He stands opposite them, staring at both. He looks at the chair, then at the fallen Amigo, drops the chair next to him, rolls outside and makes his way to the back. Aaron and Sparks look on in puzzlement before exiting themselves and celebrating to the back.
Back in the ring John Creed checks on Amigo. Amigo suddenly sits up, looking extremely bemused. He gets to his feet and advances toward the referee who quickly flees to the outside. He picks up the folded chair and tosses it outside in anger. He soon exits and walks backstage, to a chorus of boo’s and heckling.*
Well, Amigo not happy tonight. Sparks getting a pinfall on his hated rival!
Think Amigo’ll accept his challenge now?
I have a pretty good feeling about it, Jess. We’ll be right back.
*Commercial*
Johnny Green V. Cage King
The following contest is scheduled for one fal with a 20 minute time limit!
- Cage King approaches the ring freestyin'.
Introducing first, from Los Angeles, California, weighing 295 pounds...CAGE KING!
(National Disgrace)
And his opponent, making his WWCF debut, from Hollywood, California and weighing 202 pounds...JOHNNY GREEN!
- Johnny Green rides to the ring in a shopping trolley, which flies into the ring apron. Green spills out of the trolley, and then rolls into the ring. Cage King looks bemused throughout.
- Green walks up to Cage and offers to shake his hand. Cage goes to do so, but Green pulls his hand away and slicks his hair. Cage slaps Green in the face, and then starts to attack with right hands. He whips Green into the ropes, but telegraphs a back body drop, and gets kicked in the face for his trouble. Green then hits a flying forearm shot which sends Cage down.
- Green hits a couple of seated sentons, and then a legdrop. He goes for the cover.
1...
- Cage powers out. Green ducks a clothesline, but runs into a flapjack. Cage then hits a standing moonsault.
1...
2...
- Green gets the shoulder up. Cage picks up Johnny and whips him into the buckle. He hits a few shoulders to the gut, and then goes for a Stinger splash, but Green avoids the contact. Green hits a Russian leg sweep, and drops an elbow. He goes to the top rope, but misses with a diving headbutt attempt!
- The ref starts to count with both men down. Cage gets to his feet first, but Green blocks a right hand attempt and hits one of his own. Green goes for a crossbody, but is caught by Cage. He tries to get his opponent in position for the Flashing Lights, but Green reverses it into a crucifix pin!
1...
2...
- Cage kicks out. Green hits a boot to the gut, but is met with a spinning heel kick as he charges. Cage goes for the Rolling Thunder, but Green gets his knees up to counter. Green picks up Cage and hits a piledriver, spiking his adversary into the mat. He goes for the cover.
1...
2...
- Kick out! Green drags Cage towards the corner, and then scales to the turnbuckles, but Cage is aware of the danger and meets him on the second floor. Green lands a couple of blows on Cage, but gets raked in the eyes. Cage King goes for an Overnight Celebrity from the top rope, but Green pushes him down to the mat below! Johnny Green then comes off the top with a shooting star press!
1...
2...
3!
Here is your winner...JOHNNY GREEN!
- Green wildly celebrates his first win in WWCF, and dances like a loon in the centre of the ring.
Well, he’s been here a couple weeks and tonight, in his in-ring debut, Johnny Green has made an impact!
He’s a little out there, Gorilla, but he can get the job done in the ring!
*Commercial*
Champion V. Champion match: M.O.P. V. Jazzman
Day of the Phoenix blares over the speakers as M.O.P. walks out to a standing ovation.
The following contest is a special Champion V. Champion match!
The fans love M.O.P. here tonight Jess!
Introducing first, from Bergen County, New Jersey, weighing in at 232 pounds, he is the WWCF Inter-Forum Champion, M! O! P!
Well, I can’t completely blame him, Gorilla. He’s a great athlete and he is the Inter-Forum Champion.
Hope
The fans remain on their feet, booing as the WWCF World Champion steps out on the ramp.
No love for the World Champion, Jess
And his opponent…
Ya see, that part I don’t get, Gorilla. Jazzman has been Champion since August and he’s taken on all comers during that time.
From Upstate New York…
I don’t think it’s his in-ring ability they’re booing, Jess! I think it’s his recent change in attitude.
Weighing in at 206 pounds…
Gorilla, Jazzman has what I like to call a winner’s attitude! He finally realized he doesn’t need to pander to the fans to get ahead!
He is the WWCF World Heavyweight Champion…
Jazzman rolls in the ring and holds up the belt as pyro goes off.
JAZZMAN!!!
The bell rings as the two circle each other.
When you talk about two guys who know each other very well, you have to include Jazzman and M.O.P. on that list.
They lock up, and Jazzman backs M.O.P. into the ropes. The ref calls for a break and gets a clean one. They tie up again and this time, M.O.P. forces Jazzman to the corner. Again, the ref get’s a clean break.
You weren’t kidding about them knowing each other well, Gorilla!
They tie up again and M.O.P. applies a hammerlock, which Jazzman counters into a side headlock. M.O.P. shoots him into the ropes, he bounces back, flying shoulder tackle! Jazzman picks him up off the mat and delivers a snap suplex! Cover!
1!
Kickout!
He grabs M.O.P. and whips him into the ropes, catching him on the way back with a sleeper hold!
He’s got M.O.P. and this one could be over quickly!
M.O.P. struggles, but manages to break free. He pelts Jazzman with some punches, but Jazzman blocks them and hit’s a neckbreaker! Cover!
1!
Kickout!
M.O.P. tries to get to his feet, but Jazzman kicks him back down!
Jazzman is showing exactly why he is the World Champion, Gorilla!
The World Champion picks his opponent up and goes for a powerbomb, but M.O.P. blocks and cradles Jazzman!
1!
Kickout!
Both men back to their feet, Jazzman throws M.O.P. into the ropes but he bounces back with a dropkick, knocking the Champion to the mat!
And M.O.P. showing why he is the Inter-Forum Champion!
Jazzman get’s up, but M.O.P. meets him with a flurry of punches and elbows, then follows with a running lariat! Jazzman rolls to the outside!
The World Champion bailing out now Jess!
He’s just takin’ a breather Gorilla!
He starts walking up the aisle as the ref begins counting.
“1!
2!
3!”
An awfully long breather, Jess.
“4!
5!
6!”
M.O.P. rolls to the outside and chases M.O.P.
“7!
8”
He catches him and chases him back to the ring.
“9!”
Jazzman rolls back in, with M.O.P. right behind him, just before the ref reaches 10!
Jazzman meets M.O.P. with a big dropkick, then pulls him back up for a slam. Cover.
1
2
Kickout!
Jazzman has to be wondering what he has to do to put M.O.P. away!
Jazzman pulls M.O.P. up and goes for a suplex, but it’s blocked! M.O.P. counters the suplex with a face buster! Cover!
1!
2!
Kickout!
He pulls Jazzman up and goes whips him into the corner…
Running clothesline!
M.O.P. tries to hoist Jazzman up for the Jersey Driver, but Jazzman slides loose ad shoves him into the corner!
Here it comes! Takin’ The A-
M.O.P. spins around and catches him! Jersey Driver! Cover!
1!
2!
3!
Here is your winner, M.O.P.!
M.O.P. get’s him! The Inter-Forum Champion just pinned the World Heavyweight Champion!
I’m shocked, Gorilla! I thought Jazzman had it won!
It appeared that way, but M.O.P. was able to turn it around! Great win for the Inter-Forum Champ!
*Commercial*
Main Event: Hardcore Championship: Jonathan Michaels (c) V. "Champagne" Jay Carroll V. The Boiler Room Brawler V. The General of the Monkey Army
Too Black, Too Strong... DAMN RIGHT!
*Bring Tha Noise*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Hey King, you're in luck, look who it is. Your favourite rising star.
Jesse King: Good god Tim, kill me now.
DR Jackson comes out to a 50/50 reaction from the crowd in a suit. He seems to be all business tonight with no crowd pandering. He takes his seat at rinside.
DR Jackson: Hey guys did you miss me?
Jesse King: Like I missed my acne.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: All right, King, this is our main event tonight. Jonathan Michaels is defending his belt yet again but this time there are three men who want to take it from him.
Jesse King: I hear you, Gorilla. Allow me to give a rundown for each contestant.
You, running? Color me impressed.
Michael Muffer: Now entering the ring from Philadelphia, PA... Weighing in at 215lbs... "Champagne"... Jay Carroll!
*Carroll is met with mixed reactions, but mostly boos from the marks.*
Jesse King: Now “Champagne” Jay Carroll – he is making a name for himself in the Tag Team division with TTS as one half of Voodoo Champagne.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: But he also almost immediately won the Heatz!1 title when he debuted.
Jesse King: That he did, Gorilla, but now that he’s focusing on teamwork I think that he’s going to be a little rusty in singles play.
DR Jackson: Don't take this up and comer for granted, he's proving that he can go with the best.
*King Kong 2004*
Michael Muffer: Now entering the ring... Hailing from Lansing, MI and weighing at 225lbs... The General... of the Monkeeey! Army!
*The General of the Monkey Army walks out with Tinkers on his back and he is met with generally positive cheering.*
Jesse King: Now this man, The General of the Monkey Army; He might have a good shot tonight.
DR Jackson: He could do with a shave though.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Will you stop? He did show what kind of stamina he has back at Night of the Wrestling Zombies when he faced off against Cageking in the Hardcore Horrors match. He is sure to have been chomping at the bit for that Hardcore Title for sometime, and I think that he deserves it.
Jesse King: He’s also a cunning trickster. He knows how to direct his lover, Tinkers, to his advantage, and his gorilla friend in the back can be a real ace in the hole.
DR Jackson: I'm sure he'll give it all up to chomp on bananas.
*The General is down to the ring and he puts down Tinkers as he waits for the next contestant.*
*You Asked For It*
Jesse King: But this man, TH. This man will take the belt tonight. He is big, he is strong, and he is one tough son of a b-gun.
DR Jackson: But King, I'm right here...
Jesse King: I was talking about the man who actually qualified for this match.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: While those are valid points, King, let’s also remember that the Boiler Room Brawler could very well be fuming with rage since he failed to gain the Inter-Forum Championship from M.O.P. due to a double knockout by that man in black.
Jesse King: It was sabotage of the highest order, Gorilla. BRB is sure to take this one on his way back to the Inter-Forum Championship, which M.O.P. has promised another shot if they can nip DR Jackson and the man in black in the bud.
DR Jackson: They can come and get me, I've made my career, my era on me taking those two clowns out over and over again.
*The arena goes black and smokes starts to pour in.*
Michael Muffer: And the champion...
*DOA*
Michael Muffer: Hailing from Los Angeles, CA and weighing in at 240lbs: Jonathan... Michaels!
*Michaels comes out to a wave of cheers.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: My money is still on our Hardcore Champion though, King. His reign will be legendary by the time that he finally loses that belt. I think that it already is.
Jesse King: He beat BRB all of those months ago, but I don’t think that he can beat him again tonight.
DR Jackson: You mean to tell me that BRB was worse than before? Believe me, that reign won't be legendary until he goes toe to toe with The Black Dynasty.
Jesse King: Oh get over yourself.
Jonathan makes his way to the ring, wearing a cheap fake Santa beard and carrying a sack, Sara walks at his side, dressed in a sexy elf costume and carring his Hardcore title, Jonathan holds the ropes open for her and then climbs into the ring, they each have a mic.
J-Ho, ho, ho.
S-Hey, what the hell?
J-Not you, baby, I'm doing the Santa laugh.
S-Oh, sorry.
J-Incidentally, Sara, you're looking damn fine in that elf outfit, you're more like an E-ILF.
S-That's sweet.
J-But I'm getting distracted, I'm here to give you guys your Christmas gifts, first, I have something for you, General.
The General seems excited.
Jonathan reaches in the sack and hands the General a small wrapped box.
J-Go ahead, open it.
The General quickly rips off the wrapping paper and opens the box, he pulls out a plane ticket.
J-It's a plane ticket to Orlando.
The General looks confused.
J-I got you a week's vacation to Disney's Animal Kingdom, so you could see the gorillas they have there and all the other monkeys.
The General smiles broadly.
J-Yeah, I went through D-Day's old papers and found some free tickets from when he was going to sell us to Disney, and I booked you a round trip ticket and a hotel room.
The General shakes Jonathan's hand.
J-You're welcome, next, I have something for "Champagne" Jay Carroll.
Jay rushes over to Jonathan, greedily.
J-Let's see what I have for you.
Jonathan reaches in his sack and pulls out an envelope.
J-I think it's appropriate.
Jay opens the envelope, and pulls out a gift card.
J-It's a $50 gift card for Circuit City.
Carroll looks confused.
J-You're welcome, And last but not first, BRB, Let's see what I have for you.
Jonathan pulls a box out of the bag and casually tosses the bag out of the ring.
J-I picked this out just for you.
BRB saunters over and forcefully snatches the box from Michaels, he rips it open to reveal . . .
J-It's your very own personal silk negligee.
BRB glares angrily at Michaels.
J-I know it gets lonely in the boiler room, and you get lonely down there, so now you can be your own girlfriend.
BRB angrily throws the negligee out of the ring as the ref calls for the bell.
*Referee John Creed informs the men of the rules: No disqualification, falls count anywhere.
He then starts the match and they brawl, choosing their fighting partners right away; The General takes on BRB and Carroll takes on Michaels.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: And our main event is underway.
*BRB grabs the General and slams him into the corner. Jay Carroll lays a barrage punches into Jonathan Michaels.*
Jesse King: This isn’t a very technical match tonight…
DR Jackson: I believe that's why they call it a Hardcore Match.
*BRB Irish whips the General while Michaels pushes Carroll off of him. The General collides with Carroll and the two fall over.*
Jesse King: See those two men standing, Gorilla?
*BRB grabs The General, motions to Michaels, and the two lift him up into the air and then they slam him back down onto Carroll.*
Jesse King: It’s going to come down to those two.
DR Jackson: My money's on Michaels.
*Michaels backs up into the corner and jumps up to the top. BRB grabs The General and puts him over his knee and signals Michaels.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: They do seem to be working together tonight, King.
DR Jackson: They won't for long though, you know the rules. Neither Enemy Nor Friend.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: You're right Jackson, eventually one of them will have to go for the win and the other one will break it up.
*Michaels leaps off the top rope and missile dropkicks BRB right in the face, knocking him over and landing on top of the General.
Michaels locks in the General’s leg and Referee John Creed begins the count while Carroll returns to his feet.*
John Creed: 1…
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Here comes Carroll for the save!
*Carroll kicks Michaels off of The General and stomps on Michaels while BRB gets back up.*
Jesse King: Ha! BRB isn’t out of this yet.
DR Jackson: Someone must have shouted Last Call!
*BRB joins Carroll in stomping on Michaels. Meanwhile, the General crawls his way out of the ring.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Looks like the General knows when to get out of the line of fire here.
Jesse King: He’s chickening out! They’ve made a monkey out of him and he cannot take hardcore wrestling at his level!
DR Jackson: So is he a Chicken or a Monkey?
Jesse King: Does it matter?
DR Jackson: Well how about we continue with Seth Drakin's Farm, you can be the ass.
*BRB picks up Michaels and shoves him into the corner and proceeds to choke him with one arm while Carroll grabs onto the ropes and kicks Michaels in the stomach.
The General slips under the ring.*
Jesse King: He’s trying to hide, Gorilla! What kind of General is he?
DR Jackson: He learnt from Custer!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: We all know that the General is one crafty S.O.B. He’s plotting something, I know it!
*BRB lifts Michaels up onto the turnbuckle, but Carroll kicks him in the midsection, jumps up to Michaels, and slams him onto BRB’s back, knocking the both of them down to the mat.*
Jesse King: The General’s plotting to run away, TH!
*Carroll jumps up onto the top rope and jumps down onto BRB and Michaels.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: One hell of a high risk maneuver by “Champagne” Jay Carroll!
DR Jackson: He's usually drunk! I guess he'd rather be high?
*Carroll grabs Michaels by the leg and drags him off of BRB. He places the leg just outside of the ring and then slips out.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: First the General leaves and now Carroll. This match is picking up and by the end it will surely be a true hardcore match.
*Carroll grabs a chair, folds it, and bashes Michaels right in the leg. Michaels reels from the pain and retracts his leg back into the ring.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Carroll has laid the first hardcore blow of the match!
Jesse King: You say that like it’s something to be proud of, Gorilla.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: When you’re in the Hardcore division it is.
DR Jackson: Finally! You know I have no idea why Seth is trying to get rid of the thing.
*Carroll slides the chair into the ring and then slides in as well. BRB is back on his feet.*
Jesse King: Michaels seems to be out, TH, but BRB is certainly not. He has no more allies in this match and it’s about time that he unleashes hell!
DR Jackson: Hell's Kitchen!
*Carroll throws a knife edge chop at BRB’s chest but BRB doesn’t flinch.*
Jesse King: A knife edge chop to BRB?
*BRB throws a knife edge chop at Carroll’s chest, knocking him down.
BRB grabs a chair and swings for Carroll, who rolls out of the ring.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Good move there by Carroll. One good swing from BRB would certainly have finished him!
DR Jackson: One thing I will give BRB, he knows how to end matches...
*BRB turns around and sees Jonathan Michaels trying to hoist himself back to his feet in a corner.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: This doesn’t look good for our champion. He has not yet put in a really good offense in this match.
*BRB walks over to Michaels and lifts the chair above himself and gets ready to swing.
Carroll slides back into the ring.*
Jesse King: Think that we will have a new Hardcore Champion soon, King!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Not if Jay Carroll has anything to do with it.
*Carroll grabs the chair from behind BRB. BRB turns around in time for Carroll to kick him in the stomach, bending him over. Carroll swings the chair down on BRB’s head, knocking him to the mat.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: What a chairshot from “Champagne” Jay Carroll!
DR Jackson: When I said BRB knows how to end matches, I never said it was in his favor.
*Carroll goes for the pin and Referee John Creed counts.*
John Creed: 1…
*Michaels drops down and double axe handles Carroll to break the pin.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Good timing by Jonathan Michaels!
Jesse King: But does he have anything left in the tank? He seems to have burnt out before he even started tonight.
DR Jackson: Don't count out the Poster Boy of Hardcore, the Extreme A-Lister just yet.
*Michaels and Carroll get back to their feet.
Michaels lunges for Carroll, but Carroll dodges out of the way and Michaels ends up outside of the ring and hits his head on the guardrail.*
DR Jackson: Okay, NOW you can count him out...
Gorilla Tim Hoss: No! Michaels is sure to be out of the match now!
*Carroll turns his attention back to BRB, who is starting to get on one of his knees.
Carroll grabs the chair again and climbs the turnbuckle.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Looks like Carroll is going for some Hardcore High Risk action.
*Carroll lifts up the chair over his head, but suddenly a wrench hits him in the midsection, knocking him down but the chair still slams into BRB’s head, taking him down too.*
Jesse King: What on earth?
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Both men are down, King!
DR Jackson: That is what you should see, people putting it ALL on the line for a title.
*Tinkers sits on a turnbuckle next to the one that Carroll climbed and fell from.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: It’s Tinkers! She always comes in handy for the General!
DR Jackson: Did you ever consider joining up with the General, Gorilla?
Gorilla Tim Hoss: I tried, couldn't pass the physical.
DR Jackson: I regret asking.
*The General slides into the ring and goes to pin BRB while Referee John Creed goes for the count.*
John Creed: 1…
Gorilla Tim Hoss: I told you, King! That General is a crafty one!
John Creed: 2…
*The General is pulled out of the ring by Michaels.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Michaels is still in this match too!
*Michaels kicks Carroll in the stomach, locks his arm around the head, and DDT’s him to the ring steps.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: That may be the end of “Champagne” Jay Carroll tonight, folks.
Jesse King: But what about Michaels’s head? He hit the guardrail head on!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Must be something in the cap. Maybe it’s really a helmet.
*The General leaps over the ropes onto Michaels, knocking him down.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: But the General seems to be the most active participant now. Sheer genius on his part.
DR Jackson: This could very well be the General's Last Stand!
*The General mounts Michaels and starts to pummel him.
Meanwhile BRB is starting to get up again, but he falls back into the corner.*
Jesse King: Yes! BRB could still take this one, TH!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: But his head has had so much trauma that he may be too disoriented to win the match.
*Michaels manages to roll himself on top of the General and he gets up to back off.
The General starts to get up when Michaels runs up and dropkicks him in the face, knocking him into the stairs behind him.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Michaels is slowly but surely taking control of this match. But can he overcome the fact that The General has taken much less punishment than him at this point?
DR Jackson: I told you, never count the Extreme A-Lister out.
*Michaels lifts up the apron and is sprayed by a fire extinguisher, knocking him backwards and off his feet.*
Jesse King: What the hell is that now?
*The man in black from AVSWWCFC emerges from the apron.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: It’s the man in black, King!
Jesse King: And he’s here to harass the Boiler Room Brawler again, I’m sure!
DR Jackson: My verbal harassment wasn't enough?
Jesse King: Why are you even here?
DR Jackson: King, don't talk back...
Jesse King: How about you just don't talk at all?
*The man in black thrusts the fire extinguisher into Michaels’s face.
The General gets back up from the steps, but the man in black sprays him in the face, making him back up and tripping over the stairs and onto the ground when “Champagne” Jay Carroll suddenly hooks his arm between The General’s legs for a School Boy pin.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Carroll out of nowhere, King!
*Referee John Creed goes for the count.*
John Creed: 1…
Jesse King: That man in black screws everything up!
John Creed: 2…
*Carroll is pulled off of the General by Tinkers.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: And Tinkers at the General’s rescue again, King!
Jesse King: I gotta get me one of those, Gorilla.
*The man in black sprays the last of the fire extinguisher at Tinkers, scaring her back up the ramp and to backstage.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Tinkers did her part, King, but The General’s on his own now.
*The man in black heads into the ring as Michaels and BRB get back up.*
Jesse King: Would someone do something about this? That man in black is going to ruin everything for BRB!
DR Jackson: That man in black isn’t going to ruin anything tonight. I’m want to watch BRB lose again, fair and square like the chump that he really is. Give me a second guys.
*DR Jackson removes his headset and runs into the ring to confront the man in black.
BRB is standing now and Michaels has slid his way in as well.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: The man in black is surrounded now King. Maybe the three of them can expose him and get this match to continue.
*The General gets back up and picks up the stairs to slam into Carroll.
Back in the ring, BRB, Michaels, and DR Jackson all dive for the man in black, who ducks underneath them and runs for the corner.*
Jesse King: Get him! He’s in the corner with nowhere to go!
*The three run for him, but the man in black throws the fire extinguisher straight into Michaels’s midsection, knocking the wind out of him.
BRB and DR Jackson keep on their assault and they grab and dominate the man in black, forcing him to his knees.
BRB and DR Jackson nod to each other as DR Jackson reaches for the black mask.*
Jesse King: It’s time to find out the culprit tonight, TH…
*The arena goes black.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Oh no! He could escape!
*A loud thud noise is heard.*
Jesse King: What was that?
*The lights come back on.
DR Jackson is holding a black mask, and “Champagne” Jay Carroll is out cold from the ring steps being slammed onto him.*
Jesse King: Well at least one question was answered.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: They had him, King, but it’s not over yet.
*DR Jackson and BRB look at each other. DR Jackson smiles and pats BRB on the back, almost mockingly pointing at Michaels on his knees.
DR Jackson leaves the ring just as The General slides in and kicks Michaels over.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: It looks like DR Jackson was good to his word, but The General knows that this match isn’t over yet.
*BRB runs up to The General and shoulder blocks him to the mat. He quickly runs for the ropes and The General ducks below him on the rebound.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: The General had better be careful here, King. One move from BRB could potentially put The General into the same shape as everyone else.
*BRB rebounds again, and the General ducks to the ground again, but BRB stops short and elbow drops him.*
Jesse King: Looks like the General is in the same condition as everyone else now, Gorilla.
*Michaels uses the ropes as leverage for getting back up while he catches his breath.
The General limps back to his feet as BRB locks arms with him and lifts him straight up for an inverted atomic drop.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: That’ll ruin anyone’s day, King.
*The General stumbles from the shot to his groin when suddenly, Michaels hits the Fade to Black straight to The General’s face.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Fade to Black!
Jesse King: And the General is down, Gorilla! It’s down to BRB and Michaels like I said all along.
*Michaels slides on down to the General, locks his arm around the General’s leg and goes for the pin as Referee John Creed counts.*
John Creed: 1…
Jesse King: That moron, BRB is right there!
*BRB pulls Michaels off of The General and locks in a Boston Crab.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Well this isn’t good! BRB cold take this right now!
*Jonathan Michaels crawls towards the chair left behind from earlier in the match and grabs it by the legs as BRB takes a few steps away from the ropes.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Good thing that chair was there!
*Michaels swings behind himself and hits BRB square on the head, making him release the boston crab. BRB massages his head from the chair shot while Michaels curls himself into a fetal position from the tension put upon his midsection by BRB.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Both men are clearly in pain here, King, but who can take more?
Jesse King: You gotta think though, Gorilla. BRB hasn’t used any weapons this entire match.
*BRB looks at Michaels and then exits the ring.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Where’s he going?
*BRB is nearby the still downed “Champagne” Jay Carroll when he grabs his trusty pipewrench.*
Jesse King: Here we go, Gorilla. This match is over now!
*BRB looks at Michaels who is using the ropes to get up again when Carroll hooks his arm around his leg for failed takedown.*
Jesse King: Too little too late, Carroll!
*BRB shakes his head at Carroll and thrusts his pipe wrench straight to the head, taking out Carroll.
Michaels is returning to his feet back in the ring.*
Jesse King: The suspense is killing me, Gorilla! Just this once I think that I get hardcore wrestling!
*BRB gets into the ring as Michaels turns towards him. BRB jogs up to Michaels and takes a huge swing at him with the pipe wrench but Michaels ducks, and as BRB is turned around, Michaels grabs him by the leg and applies The Key Grip.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: The Key Grip, King! The Key Grip!
*Michaels is twisting BRB’s ankle like it’s never been twisted before. He is strained, and BRB is clenching his teeth.*
Jesse King: No! BRB! You’ve got to win this! You’ve got to!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Even before this match is finished I think that everyone in this match clearly deserves that title at this point.
*Michaels drives BRB’s knee into the mat, keeping his knee over it for pressure. BRB wildly swings his pipe wrench for Michaels and hits him in the temple.
Michaels, dazed, falls over, his head bouncing along the ropes.*
Jesse King: Yes! Who could possibly stop BRB now?
*BRB turns over and carefully moves to pin Michaels while Referee John Creed counts.*
John Creed: 1…
Gorilla Tim Hoss: It looks like Michaels is finally down for the count at year’s end, King.
John Creed: 2…
Jesse King: His reign is finally over, TH!
John Creed: 3!
*“You Asked For It” by Mercyful Fate hits the speakers.*
Michael Muffer: Here is your winner by a pinfall: Boiler… Room Brawler!
*Referee John Creed helps BRB up and hands him the belt.
BRB looks stunned and somewhat confused as he looks at the belt and at the downed Jonathan Michaels.*
Jesse King: Yes, BRB. You’ve finally made it! You have the Hardcore Title!
*BRB raises it above himself with one hand and points at it and then to himself.*
Jesse King: What a hell of a match, Gorilla!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: It was one hell of a match, King. And it was one hell of a way to end the year!
Jesse King: 2010 begins the reign of BRB!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: This is Gorilla Tim Hoss…
Jesse King: And Jesse King!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: And we wish all of the fans at home a happy new year and we’ll see you all in 2010!
Credits: Sparks, The Sam, Viva Los Bio Dome, Jazzman, Starshine, Headbanger Man, Evil M, Jonathan Michaels, The Boiler Room Brawler and “Damn Right” Jackson
