Monday Niteraw - January 11, 2010
2/5/10
Monday NiteRaw January 11th, 2010
Jesse King - Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Monday NiteRaw! And welcome back to my partner Gorilla Tim Hoss!
Tim Hoss - Thanks Jess. It’s good to be back, though I left my spot in very capable hands last week.
Jesse King - Definitely. Aaron Enigma did a great job at the booth last week.
Tim Hoss - Yes. Well anyway, I’m back and tonight, we have quite a show on tap!
Jesse King - That’s right! Tonight, the King of WrestleCrap tournament continues with the second round matches being held tonight!
Tim Hoss - Plus, WWCF Inter-Forum Champion M.O.P. battles Heatz!!1 Champion TTS in a very special title unification match!
Jesse King - It’s episode #50! Let’s head to the ring!
King of WrestleCrap Second Round Match: Amigo V. “Champagne” Jay Carroll
Tim Hoss: Well, first we have Amigo versus Jay Carroll. Amigo knocked out M.O.P. in the first round, but Carroll is sneaky and sly, and you better believe if Amigo isn't on his toes, he might sneak out a win!
Jesse King: Ah, but the same could be same for Carroll, always a showboat, if someone like Amigo catches him during a taunt, you know it's over. Anyways, let's go ringside to Micheal Muffer for the official introductions.
Micheal Muffer: The following match is a Quarter-Final match in the King of Wrestlecrap tournament, scheduled for one fall with a thirty minute time limit. The referee for this bout is Will Alphonzo.
First, in the Red corner, from Tempe, Arizona, he stands 6 feet even, and weighs in at 214lbs. He is a former and original WWCF World Heavyweight Champion, Amigo!
*The Mic warms up with a riff stolen countlessly signaling the arrival of the ever-kind Amigo. He walks down the ramp, threatening those who boo, destroying signs, and the occasional high-five from a errant fan or two. He slides in, and perches himself in the Red corner*
Micheal Muffer: And his opponent. In the Blue corner, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, he also stands 6 feet even, and also weighs in at 214lbs tonight, 1/2 of Voodoo Champagne, "Champagne" Jay Carroll!
*"You're the Best Around" blares out of the stereos, as someone maybe even more disliked then Amigo, one Jay Carroll, arrogantly struts in, walks up the steps, and saunders into the Blue corner*
Will Alphonzo: *Gets both ready*
I'd tell you guys the rules and then to shake, but knowing both of you, why bother? Let's get it on!
*Bell rings*
Both charge at eachother, with Amigo elbowing Carroll in the jaw, but Carroll low kicks Amigo in the shin twice after this, but a third one is caught by a guh punch from Amigo, who does another one, which gets a warning. Carroll rakes Amigo's eyes when he picks him up, and lands a low dropkick, and then follows with a Diving Knee Drop. Amigo the rolls out, with Carroll following, but Amigo lands a sucker headbutt to the side of Carroll's head, sending him to la la land. Picking the slumped over Carroll up, he rolls him back into the match.
With Carroll back in, Amigo chops the side of his head, and then soccer kicks him afterwords. The ref backs Amigo ups, and checks on Carroll, and Carroll sends him back, still good. Back up, Carroll lands a sneak leg lariat, and a face cut, then trumped with a Lionsault for a 2 count. Carroll tries for a sleeper hold, but Amigo slips out, and maneuvers into a neck crank, which wrenches on Carroll's head, until he escapes via the ropes.
Amigo dashes off the ropes, and smashes Carroll with a lariat, and as he picks him up, Carroll throat thrusts him, and gets a small package for 2.5! Fired him, Carroll lands a super kick, and a foot stomp, but is caught trying for a Frog Splash, who is then hit with a Bom-Ba Ye to the back of his head! But Amigo isn't ready yet, and starts pummeling Carroll with Vader Hammers even pushing him into the corner, and still flurrying him with them and body shots, until Alphonzo backs Amigo up.
Carroll isn't doing too good, but as Amigo tries for a jumping knee, gets a 540* Kick, with some punches to Amigo's shoulders, but a Hook from Amigo floors him, warnings aside, and drags him to the center, while Amigo waits in a corner, as Carroll rises, amigo dashes forward ans hits the Bom-Ba Ye, but Carroll, now bloody, is completely out, and Alphonzo, checks him, and determines that he is not fit to continue!
Michael Muffer - Your winner, via K.O.: Amigo!
Jesse King - Well there you have it. Amigo advances to the semifinals of the tournament, Gorilla!
Tim Hoss - I saw. But who will he be facing in the next round? The rookie Ganzo Bomb? Or the man he helped win his first round match last week, Square?
Jesse King - Well, we’ll find out after this!
*Commercial Break:
Papa Johns
7-Up
wwcfshop.com*
Gorilla: King I'm being told that Commissioner Morton is in the back with a message for the WWCF universe.
Jesse: Well don't leave us hanging cameraman! Let's see what going on!
*Backstage, we see Jessica Morton in her locker room, looking into the camera.*
Jessica: Ladies and gentleman, due to issues of security and personal conduct......I regret to inform all of you that The Sam has been banned from all future WWCF events until further notice.
That is all, enjoy the rest of the show.
*Camera cuts back to the show*
Gorilla: I like what she did there, Jesse. Sam has been a menace as of late.
Jesse: I don't know, Tim. I think it's just Seth wanting to avoid Sam completely.
Gorilla: I think you mean WWCF CEO Mr. Seth Drakin, Jesse. You need to show respect to the higher ups or you might find yourself out of WCWF, and nobody wants that do they?
Jesse: I suppose you are right Gorilla, but let's just get on with the show please.
King of WrestleCrap Second Round Match: Ganzo Bomb V. Square
Michael Muffer – The following contest is set for one fall and it has a 20-minute time limit.
("I Don't Care"- Fall Out Boy)
Muffer – Approaching the ring first. At the height of 6’3, weighing in at 210 lbs. From Preston, England. This is Square!
(Square comes down the ramp as his pyro and ballyhoo play. Square looks focused and climbs into the ring as the fans boo him.)
Gorilla: Here comes the man that has proclaimed he will not be pinned or submitted in 2010, Jesse.
Jesse: Whatever he said, I sure hope Ganzo takes it to him tonight, Gorilla. Square could use a big blow to his ego courtesy of this rising star.
Michael Muffer – And his opponent.
(BlackHole Sun By Sound Garden)
Muffer – At the height of 6’1, weighing in at 220 lbs. From Connecuit. This is Ganzo Bomb!
(Ganzo runs down to the ring as his pyro goes off. Ganzo does a flip over the top rope into the ring. Ganzo charges at Square but Square leaps out of the ring onto the floor. Ganzo paces back and forth in the ring.
Referee Spud Jones calls for the bell.)
Jesse: Ganzo not wanting to waste anytime with this one.
Gorilla: I think you mean Ganzo wanted to get a cheap shot on the Revolution of Evolution, King.
The match starts, as Ganzo gets too close to the ropes, Square pulls Ganzo underneath the bottom rope onto the concrete. Square starts stomping on Ganzo. Spud Jones tells Square to stop. Square slides into the ring and starts posing while a helpless Ganzo try’s to get to his feet.
Square leaves the ring once again and rams Ganzo's head onto the steel steps. While Ganzo is still reeling from the steps, Square approaches a woman sitting at ringside. Her boyfriend gets in Squares face. Square flips him off.
Square turns around only to receive a dropkick moonsaults from Ganzo. Ganzo climbs onto the apron and taunts the crowd. As Square gets to his feet Ganzo runs along the apron and hits a running Shooting Star Press which sends both men off their feet. The crowd starts a “holy s***!” chant.
Gorilla: The Human Sun didn't see that one coming. Can he come back? Stay tuned!
(Commercial)
We return to see Ganzo and Square in the ring with Ganzo having the upper hand. Ganzo sends Square off the ropes. Ganzo runs the opposite direction. As both men come towards each other Square goes for a clothesline but Ganzo ducks. Both men hit the ropes again and as they come towards each other Ganzo hits a running enziguri. Ganzo goes for the pin fall
1
2
2 count
Jesse: Ganzo almost got him with that one!
Gorilla: Don't count Square out, Jesse. He's been in the ring with much more experienced stars than Ganzo.
Ganzo tries to lift Square onto his feet but Square hits a jawbreaker. Ganzo is on Dream Street as Square lifts up Ganzo attempting the L7. Ganzo hits Square with a couple of elbows and sliding behind Square. Ganzo wraps his arms around Squares waist and hits a German suplex. Both men are out cold. Spud Jones goes for the 10 count.
Gorilla: Both men are down, King!
Jesse: The first one to get up will have the advantage, but who will it be?
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
both men get to their feet and have a slugfest. Both men are throwing rights as the fans cheer and boo with every punch. Ganzo suddenly goes for a kick in the ribs but Square catches his boot. Ganzo looks to be going for another enziguri but Square pushes Ganzo to the ground and begins twisting his ankle. Ganzo looks to be in a lot of pain. Ganzo uses his other leg and starts kicking Square off his ankle. As Ganzo try’s to stand up Square hits the ropes and hits Ganzo with a Lariat. Square goes for the pin fall.
1
2
Ganzo raises his shoulder just barely.
Gorilla: Oh come on ref! That was a slow count!
Jesse: Aren't you being a little biased, Tim? Maybe that sickness messed up your head. Do I need to get Aaron back out here to help?
Square gets in Spud Jones’s face. Square shoves Spud aside and climbs the 2nd rope. Ganzo gets to his feet and gets pulled in by Square who sets Ganzo up for the Tower of London. Ganzo throws a few elbows back at Square with one hitting Square in the temple setting him on dream set. Ganzo climbs the ropes and hits a sloppy looking Franken Steiner. The building erupts in applause as the fans chant, “This is awesome!” Ganzo, whose ankle is still hurting, calls for the “Shooting Star Press”. Ganzo gingerly climbs to the top rope. Ganzo jumps off the top rope and goes for a Shooting Star Press. But Square rolls out of the way sending Ganzo into the canvas. Square pulls up Ganzo onto his shoulders and hits the L7. Square goes for the pin fall.
1
2
3
Gorilla: The Revolution of Evolution moves on, Jesse!
Jesse: Can't argue with Square's ability, Gorilla. Ganzo gave a valiant effort, but Square is just too experienced. Good showing from Ganzo though.
Gorilla: I hate agreeing with you Jesse, but I must this time. Ganzo showed that he has a real future in this business.
Michael Muffer – The winner of this match, as a result of a pin fall. SQUARE!
(Square slides out of the ring and celebrates his way to the locker room as the fans boo him.
The referee tries to help Ganzo onto his feet but Ganzo pushes Spud Jones back before grabbing a hold onto the ropes and pulling himself up as the fans give Ganzo a round of applause. Ganzo limps his way to the locker room before turning around and saying thank you to the fans)
Jesse King - And now we know the first semifinal match, and boy is this one gonna be interesting!
Tim Hoss - It certainly will. Square advances, but he faces the man who assisted him in winning his match last week, Amigo!
Jesse King - Something tells me Square’s gonna be on his own for this one. We’ll be right back.
*Commercial Break:
Frosted Flakes
Progressive Auto Insurance
Taco Bell*
Jesse King - And we’re back!
Tim Hoss- Okay fans we were told earlier today that D-Day Dave of the Heavy Metal Express has been in the back interviewing potential managers all day. We heard that he feels that they need someone who can steer their career in the right way to the WWCF Tag Team Championships. Let's go back to The Heavy Metal Express locker room.
D-Day Dave is sitting behind a desk with his hair tied back in a tail and he has a black tie with little skulls on it only he isn't wearing any shirt. Two hot groupies are standing on both sides of the desk. D-Day Dave bunches up some papers together and then looks to the camera.
D-Day Dave- Welcome WWCF fans. As you may know as the former CEO of WWCF I have a very well documented mind for business and I felt it was time that The Heavy Metal Express needed someone who could take us above and beyond all the rest of the tag teams in the WWCF. All day I have been interviewing tons of applicants for the opportunity to manage the hottest tag team in WWCF today and right now I'll let you all sit in on this next interview. Okay girls send the next applicant in.
One of the girls open up the door and in comes............The Genius. He is wearing a blue graduation robe and hat.
D-Day Dave- Okay so your name is The Genius?
The Genius- That's right.
D-Day Dave looks up to see The Genius and then frowns.
D-Day Dave- Lanny what are you doing back here? I thought you were still suspended?
The Genius- Who is this Lanny you speak of? I've never heard of this Lanny. In fact I don't know anyone named Lanny. Don't you know who I am? I'm The Genius. Former WWF Superstar. With my incredible knowledge I was the manager of greats like Mr. Perfect and The Beverly Brothers, Blake and Beau. I can take The Heavy Metal Express to where ever my giant brain wants to take The Heavy Metal Express. Which is very far because my brain is super huge.
D-Day Dave- The Beverly Brothers? Those guys sucked. How can I possibly let you be our manager when the only team you ever managed were bleach blond snobs? Security!!! Lanny Poffo is in here!!!
Security comes running in and they grab Poffo and he yells as they drag him out.
The Genius- Nooo!!! You can't do this!!! I have seven PHds!!!
Jesse King - Um, why don’t we check in on Dave again later. In the meantime, let’s head to the ring for our next match.
King of WrestleCrap Second Round Match: Starshine V. Yellow Jacket
Michael Muffer: “The following contest is King of Wrestlecrap Tournament match, with a 30-minute time limit.”
‘The Man on the Silver Mountain’ by Rainbow blasts over the PA, as the Yellow Jacket enters the arena to his new entrance theme.
Michael Muffer: “Introducing first, from Lancaster, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 224 pounds, the Yellow Jacket!”
He looks at the fans with disgust, then gloats “The Real Deal”. He waves off the fans and enters the ring. He perches himself on the top rope and soaks in the boos. He gets down and calls for a microphone.
Yellow Jacket: “The true King of Wrestlecrap continues his quest for dominance and royalty. My roadblock for tonight is a so-called “Technical Professional”. I’ve viewed this man’s work, and found it mediocre. He has the skills, but he doesn’t execute them well. Fear not, as I teach him the ways of wrestling tonight and give him a few pointers in technician. Starshine, your star is but a glimmer of hope tonight. A hope that I will trample.”
YJ drops the mic as the boos pour over him.
‘Supermassive Black Hole’ by Muse blasts over the PA, as Starshine makes his way to the ring.
Michael Muffer: “His opponent, from Sydney, Australia, weighing in at 220 pounds, Starshine!”
Starshine struts his way to the ring, with determinacy in his eyes. He enters the ring and looks at his opponent. He tells him “My star is shining, baby!”
The bell sounds and the match begins.
Both men circle the ring, starting each other down. They approach each other slowly, and lock up in the middle of the ring. A test of strength is initiated, with YJ winning, bringing Starshine down to his knees. SS struggles to get back to his feet, and resorts to head butting YJ in the gut to break the hold. He hit’s a snap mare and applies a chin lock. He drives his knee into the small of Jacket’s back, keeping him in place. YJ tries to break free, but to no avail. He grabs Starshine’s head with both hands, and inches them back to the back of his neck. He applies a reverse half nelson, and applies as much pressure as possible. Starshine is befuddled by this, and breaks the chin lock, prompting YJ to break the half nelson.
Starshine backs up and lets YJ get to his feet. Once he does, both me once again stare each other down, then lock up once more. This time, Starshine gets the better of The Real Deal, winning the test of strength and bringing him down to his knees. YJ tries to rise up, but fails. He decides to steal a page out of Starshine’s book and goes for a head butt to the gut. SS spots this and knees him in the head. He releases the wrist lock, dropping YJ to the mat. He goes for the first cover of the match.
1,2...
Kick out, as Starshine barely gets a 2.
Starshine sits his opponent up and teases a running kick off the ropes, but applies another chin lock instead. YJ goes for the unorthodox half nelson again, but SS grabs his arms and applies a grounded abdominal stretch. He wrenches up the pressure, as YJ tries to find a way out. He shortly does, as he rolls down, floating Starshine over him. SS is now on the mat with both shoulders down, as YJ lays on top of him, in a pinning position. The ref begins the count.
1, 2...
Starshine releases the abdominal stretch and shrugs YJ off of him. He grabs YJ by the waist and tries to apply a gut wrench, but Jacket elbows him in the head. YJ grabs him by the head and hit’s a snap suplex. He floats over into a cover. Referee Lloyd McFloyd goes down for the count.
1, 2...
Kick out!
YJ now applies his own chin lock. Starshine immediately goes fishing for the neck, to replicate the reverse half nelson that he was in earlier. YJ moves his neck around ferociously, batting off Starshine’s attempts to grab the neck. Knowing it’s a lost cause, SS goes for the next best option, he puts his hands under YJ’s arms and flips him over him. With the hold broken, Starshine starts to get to his feet. Jacket charges at him, but SS ducks and tosses him to the outside. He goes for a plancha, but misses, crashing to the floor.
YJ picks him up and rolls him into the ring. He applies a stomach claw. As he applies pressure, he yells at Starshine “This is technical wrestling!” McFloyd asks Starshine if he wants to quit, and is met with a resounding no. SS tries to fight his way back into the match, but is unsuccessful. He starts to fade. Lloyd McFloyd grabs his arm, and drops it to the mat.
1!
McFloyd grabs the arm again, and drops it to the mat.
2!
McFloyd goes for the final check, hoisting Starshine’s arm in the air. He drops it down.
Referee: “No!”
Starshine is still alive, as he starts to pump himself back up. He makes it to a vertical level and hit’s a jawbreaker on Jacket. YJ careens into the ropes, then bounces back. He is met by a running Starshine, who hits an STO Backbreaker. He goes for the cover.
1, 2...
Yellow Jacket barely gets his shoulder up.
Starshine applies an arm wrench. YJ tries to fight his way out, but SS keeps a tight hold. McFloyd asks YJ if he gives up, and YJ’s answer is “Never!” Knowing it’s a lost cause, Starshine releases the hold. He picks YJ up, and goes for the Starshot. As he has him up in the air, YJ slips out to behind Starshine, and goes for a german suplex. He connects, but doesn’t let go. He hits another one, still holding on. He hits one more, finally releasing SS. He picks him up and hit’s a belly to belly suplex. He goes for the cover.
1, 2...
Starshine gets the shoulder up.
YJ props Starshine up at the turnbuckle, and starts unleashing backhand chops. One after another, Starshine’s chest starts to grow red. After about five chops, YJ irish whips him into the other corner. He then charges at him and goes for a Stinger Splash, but Starshine moves out of the way. YJ crashes into the turnbuckle, as Starshine runs over and goes for a school boy roll-up. He puts his feet on the rope.
1, 2...
Referee Lloyd McFloyd sees the feet on the ropes, and stops the count. Starshine confronts him and starts arguing. Once finished, he turns around and sees YJ going for the Sting. He moves out of the way, and YJ almost hit’s the referee, but stops in time.
Starshine hit’s a clothesline. He picks Jacket up and goes for a swinging neck breaker. YJ blocks it, hitting a belly to belly suplex. He picks SS up and hit’s a backbreaker, holding the maneuver in, enabling a backbreaker submission. Starshine is writhing in pain, with no way out of the hold. YJ starts to crank up the pressure, and yells to the ref, “Ask him!” Referee Lloyd McFloyd asks Starshine if he wants to give up, and is met with a resilient no. YJ applies more pressure, as Starshine frantically tries to break the hold. In desperation, he pokes YJ in the eye. YJ releases the hold and tends to his eye.
Referee Lloyd McFloyd confronts Starshine. He tells him he’s on thin ice, now holding two strikes. In the midst of this, Evil M storms the ring. Starshine sees this and keeps the ref distracted. Evil M grabs YJ and hit’s a Tombstone Piledriver. He scurries out of the ring, out of the ref’s sight. Starshine pushes the ref out of the way and pins the Yellow Jacket.
1, 2, 3!
Michael Muffer: “Here is your winner, Starshine!”
Starshine celebrates as the ref checks up on the Yellow Jacket. Evil M starts walking to the back, with a huge grin on his face.
Jesse King - And Evil M making sure Yellow Jacket knows that he’s still after him, Gorilla!
Tim Hoss - Evil M wants revenge, and he wants a match with Yellow Jacket, and he won’t stop until he get’s it.
Jesse King - We’ll be right back.
*Commercial Break:
KFC
Truth
Tropicana*
Jesse King: We're back from commercials, and it looks like we're going to get a live edition of The Boiler Room. I wonder why he's decided to do it now though. He does have his fingers in quite a few pies lately.
Gorilla: A mere week before he won that Hardcore Championship, he came very close to securing the Inter-Forum Championship from M.O.P.
Jesse King: What is the deal with Boiler Room Brawler that gets him entangled with the Equalizers?
Gorilla: I don't know, Jesse. First it was Aaron, then M.O.P. and now Michaels. He's run the gauntlet!
Boiler Room Brawler: Welcome fans to the Boiler Room!
You're all probably wondering why I am live tonight.
You know what I'm wondering right about now?
What is the deal with my getting entangled with the Equalizers?
I hold this Hardcore Championship over my shoulder with pride tonight, but if all of you paid any attention, you all would have noticed that I came this close to holding two belts over my shoulders tonight.
It did not come to pass because of that damn man in black!
*The Craptron first shows footage of the man in black laying out BRB at AVSWWCFC during the Inter-Forum Championship match.*
Boiler Room Brawler: Whoever you are, you costed me that match!
You seemed to either have some vendetta against me, or else you're scared of me and only wanted to face M.O.P. for the Inter-Forum Championship instead of me, BRB!
But then this happened.
*The Craptron shows footage of the man in black interfering with the Hardcore Championship.*
Boiler Room Brawler: You not only meddled in my affairs again, but it now seems that you have a vendetta set on making me just lose my matches!
Let’s get my first guest out tonight already!
*Bring Tha Noise*
*DR Jackson makes his way down to the ring being showered in boos, he plays them off as if they're cheers.*
Jesse King: Oh no, here comes this jerk!
Gorilla: Ah, DR Jackson, the Black Dynasty, I wonder what he has to say, let's find out.
*DR Jackson catches a mic as he walks into the ring. He and BRB exchange looks before he sits on a stool.*
DR Jackson: Sorry, do my ears deceive me? You honestly think that this man in black is out to ruin you? You blame your misfortune on him? Please BRB.
The only person you have to blame is yourself. You're a loser, you know what losers do? They lose. They lose to far superior competitors such as The Black Dynasty.
Without someone holding your hand, you never succeed. So Man in Black or not, you were destined to fail.
Boiler Room Brawler: I had M.O.P. laid out and you and everyone in this arena tonight saw it, Jackson!
That's closer than you or any one of his challengers has ever gotten!
Jesse King: Yeah! You tell 'im Brawler!
DR Jackson: I tore M.O.P. apart in our first match, and that was when I was still relatively new here, it was just a simple slip up that cost me the title. Now I've fought the best to once again earn my title match, and I don't think M.O.P. knows what he's in for.
He's made claims that he's in my head for handing me one of my very few losses in my career, and I admit I'm not happy about it. However I can guarantee that I will get my win back when we step into the ring next, along with the Inter-Forum Championship!
And do you know why, BRB? I've fought the best in this industry and beaten them to EARN my title shots, in the process I've become more experienced and truly honed my skills. I fight for what I want, I earn my way.
You've somehow managed to get handed everything despite being nothing more than a complete loser. It can be argued that you "earned" your title match against M.O.P., however I never saw you win an official number one contenders match, it looked like you picked up a very rare win and yelled "My turn" and Seth Drakin listened. Then since then you've had your ass kicked by me every step. You failed against M.O.P., then out of nowhere you're thrown into a Fatal Four-Way for the Hardcore Title? I won my match, I didn't get anything... What gives?
Boiler Room Brawler: You keep talking about my string of losing streaks but let me tell you something: I got a lot of wins, and I got almost no clean losses.
Name the last guy to pin me clean or make me submit!
Jesse King: I can't name him; can you Gorilla? The Boiler Room Brawler seems to have a point.
Gorilla: Honestly, besides last week, I think his last actual defeat was Aaron Enigma at Gookermania. That's a long time to go without a clean loss. Impressive.
DR Jackson: Here's a little dose of reality boy, you're career can simply be summed up as a Corporate Stooge, you were never even an official member, just The Sam's dopey bodyguard, who failed. And after Corporate broke up, it looked like the others tried to get on with their careers, but you had this idea that you were all still a happy family and you tried desperately to prove to everyone, especially yourself that. Which failed. Where are Corporate now?
All you do is fail, you never earn anything. Every time you're given the opportunity to prove yourself, you will fail. You will lose. You're a loser and a failure... My second match, I beat around 10 opponents...
Boiler Room Brawler: And who did you have to get through for that first championship loss? None other than me, BRB, at Night of the Wrestling Zombies!
DR Jackson: My point exactly, I've beaten you not once, but twice now. I've also earnt my title shots... not once, but twice now. M.O.P. got lucky the first time, but I do hold a victory over him already, and I'll make it two. Then you will see a new Inter-Forum Cham-
Boiler Room Brawler: I’m glad that you’re going there, Jackson.
Let’s have him come out now already!
*Days of the Phoenix*
Gorilla: Here's comes the Inter-Forum champion, M.O.P.
Jesse: I see, I guess he's going to give his opinion on the situation.
*M.O.P. starts slowly clapping as he heads to the ring and sits down on another stool, leaving a third stool unattended between himself and DR Jackson.*
M.O.P.: Well, well, well. Look who's the new champion on the block. First off, Brawler, let me just say "congratulations" on finally winning some gold in this company. Not that Jonathan's gonna let you have it for long, but that's why I'm not here. Brawler, Jackson, you two are both very worthy opponents. Surprisingly so, in fact. Brawler and I didn't even get a clean victory in our match, and I know he'd love to fix that. But Jackson has earned his shot. So get used to that Hardcore Title being the only gold around your waist for awhile, Brawler.
But there's more pressing matters at hand. You see, there's a bigger pain in my ass than either of you two combined. And that's the man in black. Not that he has nor ever will beat me for MY Inter-Forum Title, but he makes me look like a chump. Makes it look like I can't win matches on my own, and believe me I can. Of course, this guy doesn't seem to have any particular loyalties either.
Boiler Room Brawler: So what do you propose? An alliance?
M.O.P.: Something like that, yes. This guy is a mutual enemy, and the enemy of my enemy is my friend and all that. But more importantly, I'm also an Equalizer. And as an Equalizer, I can't let random men in black run wild causing chaos in the company.
And while this guy's messed with Brawler and me, don't think you're safe, Jackson. I think it'd benefit you to put aside our differences, for now, and agree to get rid of this schmuck first.
DR Jackson: Are you guys serious? You think that The Black Dynasty, a man who has made his career out of single handedly Bringing The Noise is scared enough of a stupid Man in Black that I'll actually team up with the two of you?
You guys are both pathetic. Neither Enemy Nor Friend...
M.O.P.: Well, fair enough I suppose. Of course, I did mention I'm an Equalizer. And being an Equalizer has... certain benefits. Access to special resources. Ones that can help us discover who are friend in black are. Such as... this!
Gorilla: I wonder what M.O.P. means, King.
*Make A Move*
*Aaron Enigma walks down the ramp to a huge ovation as he heads into the ring and sits between M.O.P. and DR Jackson.*
Jesse King: This is an interesting day for BRB.
M.O.P.: You see, I've asked my good friend Aaron Enigma to help us crack this case. After all, he is the WWCF's Head Detective. And I'm sure he can use his brilliant powers of deduction to find out the true identity of the man in black. If he could discover the very CEO of WWCF was planning on betraying the company to Disney, well, I'm sure figuring out some joker in a ski mask would be child's play in comparison.
Boiler Room Brawler: You?
I'd never-
Aaron: BRB I don't have time to listen to your whining. Obviously the man attacking the four of you has something against you all. Maybe he wants the title, maybe he wants revenge on one or all of you for some reason. Whatever it is, you are gonna need to work together if you want me to help you on this case. I need every resource available.
DR Jackson: Yeah BRB, turning never seems to end well for you. Always ends with you counting the lights...
Boiler Room Brawler: Once again with you Equalizers! Everywhere I turn you guys are there!
DR Jackson: Yeah BRB, turning never seems to end well for you. Always ends with you counting the lights...
Boiler Room Brawler: Enigma, I sure gave you a challenge to take away my mealticket, but in the end, you solved the case.
I'd imagine that if you can solve that, then you can solve any mystery.
And where is that man in black-
*The arena goes black.*
*Final Bowser theme from Mario 64*
Jesse King: Uh-oh! This can't be good! I think the man is black is making an appearance.
*The Craptron lights up and it shows the man in black.*
Oh aren't you all a bunch of beautiful hens clucking away?
It only takes one quick action and suddenly your all spilling your drinks and peering over your shoulder.
*The Man in black grabs the top of his mask*
You see this?
A Piece of fabric, and yet your all flustered over this insignificant dish cloth.
*The masked man looks as if he's going to lift of the mask and reveals part of his neck before letting go*
Simple as can be, yet you idiots can't figure it out so you hire your own little Private Dick to figure it out.
DR Jackson: You think so? Last week I had you down on your knees to me. You're all talk and cheap tactics. How about you actually come down here?
Oh blow it out your ass I've dealt with better than you in worse conditions buying beer from the convenience store but rest assured you'll get yours when I want to and not a second sooner
Jesse King: I hope those two collide and implode their way out of this company!
I heard that you overpaid seatfilling s***
Jesse King: Ah!
DR Jackson: King, please... just sit down while the men talk here. I'll send someone to tuck you in soon, okay sweety?
Aaron: Listen oh mysterious man. I don't care if you threaten me, it doesn't change anything. You are a mystery, I am a detective, it is just a matter of time until I uncover you for the slimy rat you are. Be forewarned, I'm the Head Detective, and I don't fail to solve any case.
Boiler Room Brawler: And when he finds out who you are, I'm going to take my big, massive-
Oh let me stop you right there.
You mean this rusty old piece of scrap?
*The Man in Black reaches into his pocket and pulls out a handkerchief he then pulls it off and shows the Boiler Room Brawler's Pipewrench*
You know, this rusty piece of scrap and you have a lot in common.
They both have no place in this company!
They’re both duller than dishwater,
And you both should've been thrown out long ago!
But soon?
*The Man in Black drops the pipe wrench to the floor and sets one foot on it*
You'll be here
Right where you belong.
*The Man in Black then cackles and disappears in a burst of purple smoke.*
Aaron: I'm going to get started on this guys. If you learn ANYTHING, come tell me right away.
*Aaron leaves the ring to a cheer*
Gorilla: Well this certainly got a lot more interesting hasn't it, Jesse?
Jesse King: Aaron Enigma couldn't solve that mystery any sooner. Can we move on now though?
Gorilla: Why certainly, King, I'm sure that the fans would love to return to some wrestling tonight! But first a word from our sponsors.
*Commercial Break:
Head-On
Sears
Bing*
Tim Hoss - Up next folks, we have our fourth round 2 match.
Jesse King - It’s a match we’ve seen before, but it never get’s old, Evil M V. Little Naitch!
King of WrestleCrap Second Round Match: Evil M V. Little Naitch
*Organs blare, and the opening riff to Thunderstruck starts. Pyro blasts, and we see Evil M standing at the top of the ramp. He walks slowly down to the ring, enters over the top rope, and stands directly in the center of the ring with an angry look on his face.*
*The New Blackjacks Theme hits, and both Tyfo and Littlenaitch walk out to the top of the ramp, but Littlenaitch has a microphone.*
Littlenaitch: Hey Tyfo, I appreciate you having my back, but tonight I'm going to have a go at it alone. I respect Evil M as a competitor and I want to make my way through this tournament fair and square, like you did last year.
*Tyfo Looks at Littlenaitch as if to say, "you sure?" and then nods and walks to the back. Littlenaitch makes his way to the ring, enters through the second rope, and jumps around to warm up.*
Will Alphonso checks both men for weapons and then calls for the bell.
Littlenaitch charges Evil M and runs into a big boot. Evil M picks up Littlenaitch and chokeslams him. Evil M goes for a cover.
1..
2..
Littlenaitch kicks out and rolls to the outside. The ref starts the count.
1!
2!
Littlenaitch is still catching his breath, and Evil M leans over the rope and starts taunting him.
3!
4!
5!
Littlenaitch slides back into the ring and is met with a couple of stomps by Evil M. Evil M picks up Littlenaitch and irish whips him, but Littlenaitch uses the speed to his advantage and hits Evil M with a cross body. Littlenaitch hits Evil M with a couple of knee drops and an elbow drop. He sets Evil M for the figure four and locks it in.
Evil M is writing in pain but quickly realizes he's the stronger man, and he's not far from the ropes, so he quickly reaches the ropes for a rope break. Evil M looks at Littlenaitch with an angry look, and it's met with a drop kick. Littlenaitch, riding a wave of momentup, picks up Evil M, whips him into the ropes and hits him with a clothesline. He again picks up Evil M, turns him around, and goes for a belly to back, but Evil M blocks it and hits him with a reverse DDT.
Evil M sets Littlenaitch up for a Tombstone, but YellowJacket comes from out of the crowd, slides into the ring, and hits Evil M with The Sting! Yellowjacket slides out of the ring and exits through the crowd, and the ref completely missed it!
Littlenaich rolls over Evil M and covers him.
1..
2..
3!
Michael Muffer - Your winner, advancing to the 3rd round, Littlenaitch!
Jesse King - Yellow Jacket getting some payback against Evil M!
Tim Hoss - These guys hate each other Jess, and now that they’re both out of the tournament, nothing is keeping them from getting at one another!
Jesse King - Fans, we’ll be right back!
*Commercial Break:
Comcast
Twix bars
Network spot*
Jesse King - And now we have another quarterfinal match.
Tim Hoss: It’s Viva Los Bio Dome taking on Sparks. To the ring!
King of WrestleCrap Second Round Match: Viva Los Bio Dome V. Sparks
*Pull me under hits, and Sparks hits the ramp to a pretty nice pop, the crowd is behind him and he's all smiles. He walks to the ring high fiving the kids along the ramp and flips over the top rope into the ring. He poses in the middle of the ring and starts jumping around to warm up.*
*Paparazzi hits, and the crowd immediately boos loudly. The red carpet is rolled out, and The Paparazzi begin crowding around it. Viva Los Bio Dome walks out and stops at the top of the ramp and poses for the Paparazzi before walking down the ramp. He sees a kid with a picture of him and a marker, asking for a signature. Viva grabs the pen, grabs the picture, laughs, and throws them both on the ground before walking up the steel steps, entering the ring, and laughing in Sparks face.*
Lloyd McFloyd checks both men for weapons and then calls for the bell.
Both men lock up, and Sparks wins and hits a snap suplex. Sparks takes advantage of the downed Viva by springing him into the turnbuckle. Sparks hits a disoriented Viva with a back suplex and covers him.
1!
2!
Viva kicks out at the brink of three and Sparks lifts him up only to be met with an eye rake. Viva follows that up with an irish uppercut into the turnbuckle. While Sparks is stuck in the turnbuckle, Viva hits him with a running knee. Sparks walks right into a snap DDT, and Viva goes for a pin.
1..
2!
Sparks kicks out, and you can see the irritation on Viva's face. Viva picks Sparks up, and whips him into the ropes. Viva, timing sparks coming off the ropes, goes for a Purple Sticky Punch but Sparks ducks and clotheslines him from behind. Sparks motions for his finisher and sets Viva up for the Spark-te-plex. Spark hangs him midair for a second to long though, as Viva reverses it and lifts him up for the Bio-DOME! Viva connects and goes for the pin.
1!
2!
3!
Michael Muffer: Your winner, advancing to the third round of the King of Wrestlecrap tournament, "Hollywood" Viva Los Bio Dome!
Jesse King - Like him or hate him, you can’t argue that Viva has gotten results.
Tim Hoss - Maybe dumping Stryker wasn’t such a bad thing after all.
Jesse King - Well, I don’t know about that. Viva’s actions last week on Heatz!!1 were sickening.
Tim Hoss - But like you said, he’s getting results.
Jesse King - That may be, but right now, we need to take a short break. We’ll be right back!
*Commercial Break:
Quiznos
Nintendo Wii
Legion trailer*
Tim Hoss - Well fans, now it’s time to check in and see how D-Day Dave’s manager search has been going.
We go back to The Heavy Metal Express locker room and D-Day Dave is ready for another applicant. One of the groupies open up the door and in walks in former WWCF wrestler.......... Disco Stu
D-Day Dave - Disco Stu? Where have you been for the last year?
Disco Stu- Rehab.
D-Day Dave - Oh. Well what makes you think you have what it takes to be the manager of The Heavy Metal Express?
Disco Stu - Okay Dave get this. As manager of The Heavy Metal Express I want to change everything. No more heavy metal. You see 2010 is the start of a new decade and in this decade I finally feel it.
D-Day Dave- Feel what?
Disco Stu - Disco is finally coming back baby!!! If you make me your manager you guys will be called The Disco Express. You will both come out to Stayin Alive by The Bee Gees and you guys will boogie all the way down to that ring with me boogeying right behind you. So what do you think my man?
D-Day Dave - I think you need to go back to rehab because you are smokin something if you think we are crazy enough to do that. Security!!!
Security comes in and drags off Disco Stu as he tries to resist them by dancing without much luck.
Jesse King- Well it looks like The Heavy Metal Express aren't having too much luck finding a manager huh?
Tim Hoss - It sure doesn't Jesse.
King of WrestleCrap Second Round Match: Jonathan Michaels V. “Damn Right” Jackson
Gorilla Tim Hoss: And now we have come to the final match of the second round of the King of Wrestlecrap.
*The arena begins to fill with smoke.*
"Original Prankster" by The Offspring hits the speakers as footage of movie stunts plays on the craptron.
Jesse King: And for once, I hope that Michaels takes this one.
Michael Muffer: Now entering the ring from Los Angeles, CA and weigh in at 240lbs... Jonathan... Michaels!
*Michaels walks down the ramp to a chorus of cheers and he slips into the ring.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: But can he overcome his much larger and much more aggressive opponent?
Michael Muffer: And the opponent!
Too Black...
Too Strong...
Damn Right!
"Bring Tha Noize" by Public Enemy w/ Chuck D. hits the speakers as DR Jackson emerges from the gorilla position to a mixed reaction.
Michael Muffer: Entering the ring from West Philly, PA and weighing in at 296lbs... D R Jackson!
Jesse King: He's been nothing but a thorn in everyone's side, Gorilla!
*DR Jackson crosses the ropes into the ring.*
Jesse King: He's been a thorn in Boiler Room Brawler's side. He's been a thorn in M.O.P.'s side. And worst of all, he's been a thorn in MY side!
*Michaels uses rope leverage to stretch while DR Jackson paces about.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: We all have to fight our battles, King. BRB and M.O.P. are, if not to look good with the belts over their shoulders.
Jesse King: Oh, I just might have to step back into that ring and give DR Jackson some old school attitude just you wait, TH!
*The match begins with DR Jackson lunging for Michaels, but Michaels lands a standing drop kick to Jackson's chest, making him back up.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Fast thinking by Michaels.
*Michaels runs at Jackson, jumps into the air, hooks his arm around Jackson's head, and drops down for a DDT.*
Jesse King: And Jackson is down, Gorilla!
*Michaels gets up, but Jackson is up in no time as well. Jackson takes a mighty swing at Michaels, making him back up as well.*[/color]
Gorilla Tim Hoss: That's one hell of a haymaker from Jackson that's got to hurt, King!
*Jackson takes a few steps and takes another swing at Michaels, but Michaels backs up. They go through this a few times until Michaels is back up into the corner when Jackson grabs him and Irish whips Michaels to the other corner.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Jackson is relentless tonight, but Michaels is our longest reigning Hardcore Champion - he can take this kind of punishment.
*Michaels reaches the turnbuckle, but he catches himself and acrobatically propels himself upwards as Jackson charges for him. Michaels locks his legs around Jackson's head, drops down, rolls over, and goes for the pin, but Jackson's leg touches the ropes, and Referee Lloyd McFloyd breaks it up.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Observe the athleticism of Jonathan Michaels, King!
Jesse King: But he should be more tactile about where he goes for pins.
*Michaels rolls backwards into a standing position while Jackson simply stands up. Both men put up their dukes.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: This fight might just descend into a fist-fight, Jesse!
*The two men run for each other. DR Jackson throws a punch, but Michaels catches it and arm drags him.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Another good move by Michaels, King!
*Jackson is back up and he goes for Michaels, but Michaels arm drags him again, this time holding on for an armbar.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Good thinking by Michaels, King.
Jesse King: I agree. Jackson is strong, but if Michaels can take that away from him he will become a chew toy.
*Jackson moves to the ropes, dragging Michaels with him, and gets a rope break.
The two men stand up and lock arms. Jackson wins, twisting Michaels's arm and then pulling him towards himself and clotheslining him to the ground.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Jackson with a lariat, King! That can't be good for Michaels!
*Jackson picks up Michaels from the ground, hoists him up, holding him sideways.*
Jesse King: I don't like where this is going, TH!
*Jackson runs to the corner, slamming Michaels's back into the turnbuckle.
He maintains his hold on him, and then slams Michaels to the ground*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: By gawd, Jesse! Michaels has to be hurting front to back!
*Jackson turns Michaels over onto his front and stomps him in the back.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Jackson is going to town on Michaels tonight!
*Jackson picks up Michaels and puts him over his shoulders and on his side and applies pressure.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: The Anxiety Adjustment, King!
Jesse King: Hang on, Michaels! You know that you've taken worse!
*Jackson gets on one knee and applies even more pressure.
Michaels fades, so Referee Lloyd McFloyd lifts up his arm once.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: This could be it.
*Referee Lloyd McFloyd lifts Michaels's arm a second time.*
Jesse King: I'd hate to see DR Jackson as the King of Wrestlecrap, I really would.
*Refereee Lloyd McFloyd lifts up Michael's arm, drops it, but Michaels gains new resolve.*
Jesse King: Yes! Michaels is still in this, TH!
*Jackson scowls, stands up, and and suddenly drops down again, letting go of Michaels.*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Oh no, King; the High Attitude, we should have seen that coming!
*Jackson locks his arm around Michaels's leg and goes for the pin.
Referee Lloyd McFloyd counts 1... 2... 3!*
Michael Muffer: Here is your winner by pinfall: D R Jackson!
"Bring Tha Noize" by Public Enemy w/ Chuck D. hits the speakers as DR Jackson cockily smiles and makes his way out of the ring.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: And DR Jackson makes his way to the third round of the King of Wrestlecrap tournament.
Jesse King: Why couldn't that man in black deal with him like he said he would, King?
Gorilla Tim Hoss: But fear not, Michaels fans - at this month's PPV, Michaels still has to face off against our CEO Seth Drakin for the fate of the Hardcore Championship.
Jesse King: With Boiler Room Brawler, our Hardcore Champion, as Special Guest Referee!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: So at least he has that to fall back on.
It's been a hell of a night already, but we still have one more match to go!
Jesse King: That's right, the big title unification match!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: But before that, we have the contract signing between Jazzman and Aaron Enigma! We'll be right back.
*Commercial Break:
Lifetime Movie Preview
KitKat bars
Comcast*
*Niteraw comes back from commercial to see Jesse King standing in the ring with a table, a contract in hand and two chairs.*
Jesse: Ladies and gentlemen, it is time for the WWCF Heavyweight Title Match contract signing. Without further adieu, let's introduce the competitors. First the challenger!
*Make a Move plays as Aaron Enigma makes his way to the ring, high-fiving the fans as the crowd cheers loudly*
Jeese: Currently residing in Chicago, IL. He is the Head Detective, Aaron Enigma!
*Aaron gets in the ring, shakes Jesse's hand and signals to the crowd, getting another huge cheer. He sits down in one of the chairs.*
Jesse: And his opponent!
*Hope plays as Jazzman comes out in a pinstripe suit. Holding the belt he looks cockily to the crowd, who boos in response.*
Jesse: From Fulton, New York. He is the current WWCF World Heavyweight Champion, Jazzman!
*Jazzman enters the ring and stares apathetically at Aaron before sitting down in his chair.*
Jesse: Now before we get to signing the contract, Jazzman I believe you have something you want to say to Aaron. The floor...err...ring is yours.
Jazz: Why yes I do. Now if all of you morons out there can shut up and let your champion speak, it would be greatly appriciated.
*Crowd Boos*
Jazz: Well Mr. Detective, here we stand. You and your enermous fanbase against me and my title. In a few weeks we are going to set foot into the ring at King of Wrestlecrap and deliver a match that will be talked about for some time, but not because it made you the new champion. No, King of Wrestlecrap will be the defining moment in the career of Jazzman.
You see Aaron, 1 year ago at this very event I had my first shot at a title of any sort against Above Average in a ladder match. My foot got caught and I lost that night, but it was then that I vowed that one day I'd make it to the top of the ladder and here I stand.
But, that's not what this is about Aaron, this is about how I plan to destroy you at KoW. Did you ever take any music classes at a kid? Well, if you didn't let me tell you a little something about jazz. Jazz is a musical form that is always evolving. The main tenant of Jazz, Mr. Enigma is improvisation. You create on the fly, their is no structure, there is no rhyme or reason, it's living art.
That's why I'll beat you. You say you can study me, you say you've watched all the tapes, but at the end of the day it doesn't matter. I never have the same match twice, I'm the most unpredictible guy inside this ring and that's what makes me better than you and better than everyone else walking the face of this earth.
Jesse: Okay, Aaron. Do you have anything you would like to say to Jazzman in response?
*Aaron stands up from his chair, grabs a mic, looks to the fans and back to Jazzman.*
Aaron: First off Jazzy, I do understand how jazz music works. No two performances are the same. The improvisation certainly helps with that. However, you say I cannot prepare for you, because you improvise. You think of things on the fly. Let me tell you something though, everyone in this company improvises. If your finisher doesn't work, what do you do? You improvise and find another way to win.
Second off, you call yourself the most unpredictable guy and sadly, I don't think that title deserves to go to you. You see, I've made a name for myself being unpredictable. I also have never had the same match twice. And when I beat Koda and Metylerca to get into Wargames, nobody thought I would. Everyone said, "Who's this Aaron kid? Does he really think he can win?" Ever since then, I've been unpredictable, especially beating people like Seth and Littlenaitch when I was still relatively new.
You know Jazzy, we're a lot alike, you and I. I would say we're both pretty unpredictable. I mean look at you. As Heavyweight champion, you've beat every former champ except for MiLo, but he's always disappearing. I on the other hand, have been called the best wrestler to never win a title. One year ago, you were already fighting for championships. One year ago, I was on Heatz struggling to find my place in this company. And just like you, one year ago, I vowed to make it to the top. Here I stand, one person left in between me and my goal. At King of Wrestlecrap, we're going to put on a clinic for everyone else here at WWCF. People are going to be talking about our match for years to come. However, the winner of that match, and the new WWCF Heavyweight champion is going to be the Head Detective, Aaron Enigma.
*Aaron sits back down and he and Jazzman stare intently at one another.*
Jesse: Strong words from both competitors. Now gentlemen unless either of you has something else to say, it is time to sign the contract. By Jazzman's request, Aaron, there is a no-contact clause, meaning that once you sign this contract, you two cannot lay a finger on each other until King of Wrestlecrap.
*Jesse slides the contract towards Jazzman*
Jazz: Just remember Aaron, once you sign this contract you aren't to touch me or assult me. If you're good at something, you don't do it for free in front of these morons. I'll see you at King of Wrestlecrap.
*Jazzman signs the contract. Aaron takes the contract, looks at it for a minute, puts it back on the table and stands up again. Jazzman looks confused.*
Aaron: Now now don't worry Jazzy. I'm going to sign this contract. However, you just reminded me of something important. The fans have been calling for me to do something. And I think it's time I delivered!
*Aaron flips the table onto Jazzman, causing him to fall from his chair. He gets up and turns only to be kicked in the stomach by Aaron, who then lifts him up and drops the champion with a Brilliant Deduction! The fans go wild at the scene, cheering louder than ever before. Aaron picks up the mic and the contract before looking back to Jazzman.*
Aaron: These fans loved you Jazzman, and you betrayed them. They've been calling for your blood for two weeks now, and at King of Wrestlecrap, they want more. They want you to feel every ounce of pain you made them feel, as you destroyed the past of WWCF and attempted to forge a new future with you as supreme commander. That won't happen. I won't allow it to happen. Every one of these fans is my witness tonight. I will beat you for the Heavyweight title. I will make you feel the same pain you caused the fans to feel. And once that's over, I will restore the past you sought to erase.
I'm sick and tired of the disrespect people are showing towards this company! Without the past, there is no future. Would you still be champion if the past had turned out differently, Jazzman? Learn from the past. Don't destroy it! I am an Equalizer, that much is true. However, I am a detective first, and a protector of the past. You spout this nonsense about the past being worthless, and I've had it! At King of Wrestlecrap, I will become Heavyweight champion, and I will save the past of this company from your ridiculous ideals. It isn't rocket science, it's elementary!
*The fans go nuts as Aaron signs the contract before dropping it and leaving the ring. Jesse makes his way to the announce table again.*
Gorilla: What was that, King? Aaron just attacked the Heavyweight champion!
Jesse: You might not like it Gorilla but Jazzman had it coming. Destroying the past, the legacy that WWCF created appears to be the last straw for Aaron. Jazzman had better be careful because he's unleashed a beast that's been stirring inside Aaron for a long time.
Gorilla: I don't care what Aaron has stirring inside him Jesse! Attacking the champion like that is disrespectful to the champion.
Jesse: Aaron feels that two weeks ago, Jazzman committed the ultimate act of disrespect. Regardless of how you feel about it Gorilla, the Heavyweight title match is going to be an explosion between the past and the future. Aaron protecting the past, Jazzman pushing the future. Conflicting ideals collide in two weeks, Gorilla.
*Commercial Break:
Papa Johns
Volvo
Nintendo Wii*
Jesse King - We’re back and now it’s time for our main event!
Tim Hoss - It’s M.O.P. and TTS and it’s a title unification match!
Jesse King - To the ring!
Title Unification Match: Inter-Forum Champion M.O.P. V. Heatz!!1 Champion TTS
Muffer: The following contest is set for one fall, and it is a unification match! Outside of a disqualification or count-out, the winner of this match will win both the Inter-Forum Championship and the Heatz!!1 Championship!
*Down On Me*
Muffer: Introducing first. Hailing from Davie, Florida and weighing in at 290 lbs. He is the WWCF Heatz!!1 Champion... The Voodoo Lawyer, TTS!
*Days of the Phoenix*
Muffer: And his opponent. Hailing from Bergen County, New Jersey and weighing in at 232 lbs. He is the WWCF Inter-Forum Champion... M.O.P.!
The bell rings and TTS starts things off with a quick clothesline. He follows it up with a vicious discus clothesline. He goes for a quick roll-up!
1!
2!
M.O.P. kicks out.
Jesse: TTS looking to end this early.
Hoss: But he wasn't successful, King! Though it does look like he caught M.O.P. off-guard!
TTS gets up and stomps on M.O.P. a few times. He picks him up and Irish Whips him into the turnbuckle. He charges into him and... M.O.P. dodges! He holds onto the top rope to support himself and kicks TTS, now face-first into the ringpost, in the back. He grabs him and hits him with a german suplex, bridging into a pin.
1!
TTS gets out of the attempt rather quickly.
Jesse: M.O.P.'s going to have to do more than that!
Hoss: I'm sure he knows that, Jesse. TTS is a bigger opponent, although I believe the majority of M.O.P's opponents have been. What he lacks in size he makes up for in ability.
Jesse: But TTS is no pushover! And that Heatz!!1 Belt around his waist is proof of that!
Hoss: You're completely right, partner. This is why a special exception was made from the typical rankings. So we could bring you this exciting Champion vs. Champion Unification Match!
Both men get to their feet and M.O.P. knife edge chops TTS, getting a "WOOOOOOOOOOOO!" from the crowd. TTS responds with his own chop. The two trade chops back and forth but as TTS goes for his fifth chop (with the crowd getting a bit hoarse from "WOOOO's"), M.O.P. blocks it and follows up with two more chops of his own, ending his offense with a near-decapitating lariat. He goes for the cover.
1!
2!
TTS kicks out! But he stays on the ground. Instead of keeping up the pressure, M.O.P. goes to the top rope and attempts the double elbow drop. He flies and... TTS rolls out of the way and out of the ring! He takes a breather by the announcer table as the referee starts his count. M.O.P. slowly gets to his feet.
1.
2.
3.
4.
Hoss: What's TTS doing?! If he doesn't get back in this match he'll lose by count-out!
Jesse: By count-out, 'Rilla. Which means he keeps his Heatz!!1 title!
Hoss: Oh c'mon, King! He wouldn't do that!
Just then M.O.P. rolls under the ropes and starts attacking TTS! The referee resets his count.
1.
2.
M.O.P. rolls TTS back into the ring and follows shortly after. The ref stops his count. He picks up TTS for the Jersey Driver and TTS gets out of it and plants M.O.P. with an inverted DDT. He goes for the cover.
1!
2!
M.O.P. kicks out at 2 1/2! TTS slams the mat in frustration and picks up M.O.P. He puts him in a fireman's carry and turns it into a spinning sidebuster. He goes for another pinfall attempt.
1!
2!
M.O.P. kicks out at 2 1/2 again! TTS starts an argument with the ref, saying it was 3. But the referee makes the point that it was, indeed, only 2. While TTS is distracted, M.O.P. rolls him up in a schoolboy pin! The ref counts.
1!
2!
TTS gets out of it just before 3! The Inter-Forum Champion picks up the Heatz!!1 Champion. He kicks him in the gut and hits him with a swinging neckbreaker! He climbs to the top rope and tries for the double elbow drop again, and this time it connects! He picks up the Voodoo Lawyer in a fireman's carry position and hits the Jersey Driver. He goes for the pin.
1!
2!
3!
Muffer: Your winner, still Inter-Forum Champion, and the NEW Heatz!!1 Champion... M.O.P.!
Hoss: He did it, King! M.O.P. came out on top and he is now the unified Inter-Forum and Heatz!!1 Champion!
King: And he had a heck of an opponent! TTS has held that belt for months and will go down in the WWCF History Books as the last ever Heatz!!1 Champion!
The referee gives M.O.P. both championship belts and M.O.P. climbs the turnbuckle and raises both belts in his hands, celebrating with the crowd.
Tim Hoss - Well, we’ve had quite a show tonight. The King of WrestleCrap field has been narrowed down to six, plus we just saw the Heatz!!1 Championship be unified with the Inter-Forum Championship!
Jesse King - Next week, the tournament heats up, as the semifinals will take place right here on NiteRaw!
I’m Jesse King…
Tim Hoss - And I’m Gorilla Tim Hoss.
Goodnight!
Credits: Amigo, The Sam, Aaron Enigma, D-Day Dave, YellowJacket, BRB, “Damn Right” Jackson, M.O.P., Viva Los Bio Dome, and Jazzman
Jesse King - Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Monday NiteRaw! And welcome back to my partner Gorilla Tim Hoss!
Tim Hoss - Thanks Jess. It’s good to be back, though I left my spot in very capable hands last week.
Jesse King - Definitely. Aaron Enigma did a great job at the booth last week.
Tim Hoss - Yes. Well anyway, I’m back and tonight, we have quite a show on tap!
Jesse King - That’s right! Tonight, the King of WrestleCrap tournament continues with the second round matches being held tonight!
Tim Hoss - Plus, WWCF Inter-Forum Champion M.O.P. battles Heatz!!1 Champion TTS in a very special title unification match!
Jesse King - It’s episode #50! Let’s head to the ring!
King of WrestleCrap Second Round Match: Amigo V. “Champagne” Jay Carroll
Tim Hoss: Well, first we have Amigo versus Jay Carroll. Amigo knocked out M.O.P. in the first round, but Carroll is sneaky and sly, and you better believe if Amigo isn't on his toes, he might sneak out a win!
Jesse King: Ah, but the same could be same for Carroll, always a showboat, if someone like Amigo catches him during a taunt, you know it's over. Anyways, let's go ringside to Micheal Muffer for the official introductions.
Micheal Muffer: The following match is a Quarter-Final match in the King of Wrestlecrap tournament, scheduled for one fall with a thirty minute time limit. The referee for this bout is Will Alphonzo.
First, in the Red corner, from Tempe, Arizona, he stands 6 feet even, and weighs in at 214lbs. He is a former and original WWCF World Heavyweight Champion, Amigo!
*The Mic warms up with a riff stolen countlessly signaling the arrival of the ever-kind Amigo. He walks down the ramp, threatening those who boo, destroying signs, and the occasional high-five from a errant fan or two. He slides in, and perches himself in the Red corner*
Micheal Muffer: And his opponent. In the Blue corner, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, he also stands 6 feet even, and also weighs in at 214lbs tonight, 1/2 of Voodoo Champagne, "Champagne" Jay Carroll!
*"You're the Best Around" blares out of the stereos, as someone maybe even more disliked then Amigo, one Jay Carroll, arrogantly struts in, walks up the steps, and saunders into the Blue corner*
Will Alphonzo: *Gets both ready*
I'd tell you guys the rules and then to shake, but knowing both of you, why bother? Let's get it on!
*Bell rings*
Both charge at eachother, with Amigo elbowing Carroll in the jaw, but Carroll low kicks Amigo in the shin twice after this, but a third one is caught by a guh punch from Amigo, who does another one, which gets a warning. Carroll rakes Amigo's eyes when he picks him up, and lands a low dropkick, and then follows with a Diving Knee Drop. Amigo the rolls out, with Carroll following, but Amigo lands a sucker headbutt to the side of Carroll's head, sending him to la la land. Picking the slumped over Carroll up, he rolls him back into the match.
With Carroll back in, Amigo chops the side of his head, and then soccer kicks him afterwords. The ref backs Amigo ups, and checks on Carroll, and Carroll sends him back, still good. Back up, Carroll lands a sneak leg lariat, and a face cut, then trumped with a Lionsault for a 2 count. Carroll tries for a sleeper hold, but Amigo slips out, and maneuvers into a neck crank, which wrenches on Carroll's head, until he escapes via the ropes.
Amigo dashes off the ropes, and smashes Carroll with a lariat, and as he picks him up, Carroll throat thrusts him, and gets a small package for 2.5! Fired him, Carroll lands a super kick, and a foot stomp, but is caught trying for a Frog Splash, who is then hit with a Bom-Ba Ye to the back of his head! But Amigo isn't ready yet, and starts pummeling Carroll with Vader Hammers even pushing him into the corner, and still flurrying him with them and body shots, until Alphonzo backs Amigo up.
Carroll isn't doing too good, but as Amigo tries for a jumping knee, gets a 540* Kick, with some punches to Amigo's shoulders, but a Hook from Amigo floors him, warnings aside, and drags him to the center, while Amigo waits in a corner, as Carroll rises, amigo dashes forward ans hits the Bom-Ba Ye, but Carroll, now bloody, is completely out, and Alphonzo, checks him, and determines that he is not fit to continue!
Michael Muffer - Your winner, via K.O.: Amigo!
Jesse King - Well there you have it. Amigo advances to the semifinals of the tournament, Gorilla!
Tim Hoss - I saw. But who will he be facing in the next round? The rookie Ganzo Bomb? Or the man he helped win his first round match last week, Square?
Jesse King - Well, we’ll find out after this!
*Commercial Break:
Papa Johns
7-Up
wwcfshop.com*
Gorilla: King I'm being told that Commissioner Morton is in the back with a message for the WWCF universe.
Jesse: Well don't leave us hanging cameraman! Let's see what going on!
*Backstage, we see Jessica Morton in her locker room, looking into the camera.*
Jessica: Ladies and gentleman, due to issues of security and personal conduct......I regret to inform all of you that The Sam has been banned from all future WWCF events until further notice.
That is all, enjoy the rest of the show.
*Camera cuts back to the show*
Gorilla: I like what she did there, Jesse. Sam has been a menace as of late.
Jesse: I don't know, Tim. I think it's just Seth wanting to avoid Sam completely.
Gorilla: I think you mean WWCF CEO Mr. Seth Drakin, Jesse. You need to show respect to the higher ups or you might find yourself out of WCWF, and nobody wants that do they?
Jesse: I suppose you are right Gorilla, but let's just get on with the show please.
King of WrestleCrap Second Round Match: Ganzo Bomb V. Square
Michael Muffer – The following contest is set for one fall and it has a 20-minute time limit.
("I Don't Care"- Fall Out Boy)
Muffer – Approaching the ring first. At the height of 6’3, weighing in at 210 lbs. From Preston, England. This is Square!
(Square comes down the ramp as his pyro and ballyhoo play. Square looks focused and climbs into the ring as the fans boo him.)
Gorilla: Here comes the man that has proclaimed he will not be pinned or submitted in 2010, Jesse.
Jesse: Whatever he said, I sure hope Ganzo takes it to him tonight, Gorilla. Square could use a big blow to his ego courtesy of this rising star.
Michael Muffer – And his opponent.
(BlackHole Sun By Sound Garden)
Muffer – At the height of 6’1, weighing in at 220 lbs. From Connecuit. This is Ganzo Bomb!
(Ganzo runs down to the ring as his pyro goes off. Ganzo does a flip over the top rope into the ring. Ganzo charges at Square but Square leaps out of the ring onto the floor. Ganzo paces back and forth in the ring.
Referee Spud Jones calls for the bell.)
Jesse: Ganzo not wanting to waste anytime with this one.
Gorilla: I think you mean Ganzo wanted to get a cheap shot on the Revolution of Evolution, King.
The match starts, as Ganzo gets too close to the ropes, Square pulls Ganzo underneath the bottom rope onto the concrete. Square starts stomping on Ganzo. Spud Jones tells Square to stop. Square slides into the ring and starts posing while a helpless Ganzo try’s to get to his feet.
Square leaves the ring once again and rams Ganzo's head onto the steel steps. While Ganzo is still reeling from the steps, Square approaches a woman sitting at ringside. Her boyfriend gets in Squares face. Square flips him off.
Square turns around only to receive a dropkick moonsaults from Ganzo. Ganzo climbs onto the apron and taunts the crowd. As Square gets to his feet Ganzo runs along the apron and hits a running Shooting Star Press which sends both men off their feet. The crowd starts a “holy s***!” chant.
Gorilla: The Human Sun didn't see that one coming. Can he come back? Stay tuned!
(Commercial)
We return to see Ganzo and Square in the ring with Ganzo having the upper hand. Ganzo sends Square off the ropes. Ganzo runs the opposite direction. As both men come towards each other Square goes for a clothesline but Ganzo ducks. Both men hit the ropes again and as they come towards each other Ganzo hits a running enziguri. Ganzo goes for the pin fall
1
2
2 count
Jesse: Ganzo almost got him with that one!
Gorilla: Don't count Square out, Jesse. He's been in the ring with much more experienced stars than Ganzo.
Ganzo tries to lift Square onto his feet but Square hits a jawbreaker. Ganzo is on Dream Street as Square lifts up Ganzo attempting the L7. Ganzo hits Square with a couple of elbows and sliding behind Square. Ganzo wraps his arms around Squares waist and hits a German suplex. Both men are out cold. Spud Jones goes for the 10 count.
Gorilla: Both men are down, King!
Jesse: The first one to get up will have the advantage, but who will it be?
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
both men get to their feet and have a slugfest. Both men are throwing rights as the fans cheer and boo with every punch. Ganzo suddenly goes for a kick in the ribs but Square catches his boot. Ganzo looks to be going for another enziguri but Square pushes Ganzo to the ground and begins twisting his ankle. Ganzo looks to be in a lot of pain. Ganzo uses his other leg and starts kicking Square off his ankle. As Ganzo try’s to stand up Square hits the ropes and hits Ganzo with a Lariat. Square goes for the pin fall.
1
2
Ganzo raises his shoulder just barely.
Gorilla: Oh come on ref! That was a slow count!
Jesse: Aren't you being a little biased, Tim? Maybe that sickness messed up your head. Do I need to get Aaron back out here to help?
Square gets in Spud Jones’s face. Square shoves Spud aside and climbs the 2nd rope. Ganzo gets to his feet and gets pulled in by Square who sets Ganzo up for the Tower of London. Ganzo throws a few elbows back at Square with one hitting Square in the temple setting him on dream set. Ganzo climbs the ropes and hits a sloppy looking Franken Steiner. The building erupts in applause as the fans chant, “This is awesome!” Ganzo, whose ankle is still hurting, calls for the “Shooting Star Press”. Ganzo gingerly climbs to the top rope. Ganzo jumps off the top rope and goes for a Shooting Star Press. But Square rolls out of the way sending Ganzo into the canvas. Square pulls up Ganzo onto his shoulders and hits the L7. Square goes for the pin fall.
1
2
3
Gorilla: The Revolution of Evolution moves on, Jesse!
Jesse: Can't argue with Square's ability, Gorilla. Ganzo gave a valiant effort, but Square is just too experienced. Good showing from Ganzo though.
Gorilla: I hate agreeing with you Jesse, but I must this time. Ganzo showed that he has a real future in this business.
Michael Muffer – The winner of this match, as a result of a pin fall. SQUARE!
(Square slides out of the ring and celebrates his way to the locker room as the fans boo him.
The referee tries to help Ganzo onto his feet but Ganzo pushes Spud Jones back before grabbing a hold onto the ropes and pulling himself up as the fans give Ganzo a round of applause. Ganzo limps his way to the locker room before turning around and saying thank you to the fans)
Jesse King - And now we know the first semifinal match, and boy is this one gonna be interesting!
Tim Hoss - It certainly will. Square advances, but he faces the man who assisted him in winning his match last week, Amigo!
Jesse King - Something tells me Square’s gonna be on his own for this one. We’ll be right back.
*Commercial Break:
Frosted Flakes
Progressive Auto Insurance
Taco Bell*
Jesse King - And we’re back!
Tim Hoss- Okay fans we were told earlier today that D-Day Dave of the Heavy Metal Express has been in the back interviewing potential managers all day. We heard that he feels that they need someone who can steer their career in the right way to the WWCF Tag Team Championships. Let's go back to The Heavy Metal Express locker room.
D-Day Dave is sitting behind a desk with his hair tied back in a tail and he has a black tie with little skulls on it only he isn't wearing any shirt. Two hot groupies are standing on both sides of the desk. D-Day Dave bunches up some papers together and then looks to the camera.
D-Day Dave- Welcome WWCF fans. As you may know as the former CEO of WWCF I have a very well documented mind for business and I felt it was time that The Heavy Metal Express needed someone who could take us above and beyond all the rest of the tag teams in the WWCF. All day I have been interviewing tons of applicants for the opportunity to manage the hottest tag team in WWCF today and right now I'll let you all sit in on this next interview. Okay girls send the next applicant in.
One of the girls open up the door and in comes............The Genius. He is wearing a blue graduation robe and hat.
D-Day Dave- Okay so your name is The Genius?
The Genius- That's right.
D-Day Dave looks up to see The Genius and then frowns.
D-Day Dave- Lanny what are you doing back here? I thought you were still suspended?
The Genius- Who is this Lanny you speak of? I've never heard of this Lanny. In fact I don't know anyone named Lanny. Don't you know who I am? I'm The Genius. Former WWF Superstar. With my incredible knowledge I was the manager of greats like Mr. Perfect and The Beverly Brothers, Blake and Beau. I can take The Heavy Metal Express to where ever my giant brain wants to take The Heavy Metal Express. Which is very far because my brain is super huge.
D-Day Dave- The Beverly Brothers? Those guys sucked. How can I possibly let you be our manager when the only team you ever managed were bleach blond snobs? Security!!! Lanny Poffo is in here!!!
Security comes running in and they grab Poffo and he yells as they drag him out.
The Genius- Nooo!!! You can't do this!!! I have seven PHds!!!
Jesse King - Um, why don’t we check in on Dave again later. In the meantime, let’s head to the ring for our next match.
King of WrestleCrap Second Round Match: Starshine V. Yellow Jacket
Michael Muffer: “The following contest is King of Wrestlecrap Tournament match, with a 30-minute time limit.”
‘The Man on the Silver Mountain’ by Rainbow blasts over the PA, as the Yellow Jacket enters the arena to his new entrance theme.
Michael Muffer: “Introducing first, from Lancaster, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 224 pounds, the Yellow Jacket!”
He looks at the fans with disgust, then gloats “The Real Deal”. He waves off the fans and enters the ring. He perches himself on the top rope and soaks in the boos. He gets down and calls for a microphone.
Yellow Jacket: “The true King of Wrestlecrap continues his quest for dominance and royalty. My roadblock for tonight is a so-called “Technical Professional”. I’ve viewed this man’s work, and found it mediocre. He has the skills, but he doesn’t execute them well. Fear not, as I teach him the ways of wrestling tonight and give him a few pointers in technician. Starshine, your star is but a glimmer of hope tonight. A hope that I will trample.”
YJ drops the mic as the boos pour over him.
‘Supermassive Black Hole’ by Muse blasts over the PA, as Starshine makes his way to the ring.
Michael Muffer: “His opponent, from Sydney, Australia, weighing in at 220 pounds, Starshine!”
Starshine struts his way to the ring, with determinacy in his eyes. He enters the ring and looks at his opponent. He tells him “My star is shining, baby!”
The bell sounds and the match begins.
Both men circle the ring, starting each other down. They approach each other slowly, and lock up in the middle of the ring. A test of strength is initiated, with YJ winning, bringing Starshine down to his knees. SS struggles to get back to his feet, and resorts to head butting YJ in the gut to break the hold. He hit’s a snap mare and applies a chin lock. He drives his knee into the small of Jacket’s back, keeping him in place. YJ tries to break free, but to no avail. He grabs Starshine’s head with both hands, and inches them back to the back of his neck. He applies a reverse half nelson, and applies as much pressure as possible. Starshine is befuddled by this, and breaks the chin lock, prompting YJ to break the half nelson.
Starshine backs up and lets YJ get to his feet. Once he does, both me once again stare each other down, then lock up once more. This time, Starshine gets the better of The Real Deal, winning the test of strength and bringing him down to his knees. YJ tries to rise up, but fails. He decides to steal a page out of Starshine’s book and goes for a head butt to the gut. SS spots this and knees him in the head. He releases the wrist lock, dropping YJ to the mat. He goes for the first cover of the match.
1,2...
Kick out, as Starshine barely gets a 2.
Starshine sits his opponent up and teases a running kick off the ropes, but applies another chin lock instead. YJ goes for the unorthodox half nelson again, but SS grabs his arms and applies a grounded abdominal stretch. He wrenches up the pressure, as YJ tries to find a way out. He shortly does, as he rolls down, floating Starshine over him. SS is now on the mat with both shoulders down, as YJ lays on top of him, in a pinning position. The ref begins the count.
1, 2...
Starshine releases the abdominal stretch and shrugs YJ off of him. He grabs YJ by the waist and tries to apply a gut wrench, but Jacket elbows him in the head. YJ grabs him by the head and hit’s a snap suplex. He floats over into a cover. Referee Lloyd McFloyd goes down for the count.
1, 2...
Kick out!
YJ now applies his own chin lock. Starshine immediately goes fishing for the neck, to replicate the reverse half nelson that he was in earlier. YJ moves his neck around ferociously, batting off Starshine’s attempts to grab the neck. Knowing it’s a lost cause, SS goes for the next best option, he puts his hands under YJ’s arms and flips him over him. With the hold broken, Starshine starts to get to his feet. Jacket charges at him, but SS ducks and tosses him to the outside. He goes for a plancha, but misses, crashing to the floor.
YJ picks him up and rolls him into the ring. He applies a stomach claw. As he applies pressure, he yells at Starshine “This is technical wrestling!” McFloyd asks Starshine if he wants to quit, and is met with a resounding no. SS tries to fight his way back into the match, but is unsuccessful. He starts to fade. Lloyd McFloyd grabs his arm, and drops it to the mat.
1!
McFloyd grabs the arm again, and drops it to the mat.
2!
McFloyd goes for the final check, hoisting Starshine’s arm in the air. He drops it down.
Referee: “No!”
Starshine is still alive, as he starts to pump himself back up. He makes it to a vertical level and hit’s a jawbreaker on Jacket. YJ careens into the ropes, then bounces back. He is met by a running Starshine, who hits an STO Backbreaker. He goes for the cover.
1, 2...
Yellow Jacket barely gets his shoulder up.
Starshine applies an arm wrench. YJ tries to fight his way out, but SS keeps a tight hold. McFloyd asks YJ if he gives up, and YJ’s answer is “Never!” Knowing it’s a lost cause, Starshine releases the hold. He picks YJ up, and goes for the Starshot. As he has him up in the air, YJ slips out to behind Starshine, and goes for a german suplex. He connects, but doesn’t let go. He hits another one, still holding on. He hits one more, finally releasing SS. He picks him up and hit’s a belly to belly suplex. He goes for the cover.
1, 2...
Starshine gets the shoulder up.
YJ props Starshine up at the turnbuckle, and starts unleashing backhand chops. One after another, Starshine’s chest starts to grow red. After about five chops, YJ irish whips him into the other corner. He then charges at him and goes for a Stinger Splash, but Starshine moves out of the way. YJ crashes into the turnbuckle, as Starshine runs over and goes for a school boy roll-up. He puts his feet on the rope.
1, 2...
Referee Lloyd McFloyd sees the feet on the ropes, and stops the count. Starshine confronts him and starts arguing. Once finished, he turns around and sees YJ going for the Sting. He moves out of the way, and YJ almost hit’s the referee, but stops in time.
Starshine hit’s a clothesline. He picks Jacket up and goes for a swinging neck breaker. YJ blocks it, hitting a belly to belly suplex. He picks SS up and hit’s a backbreaker, holding the maneuver in, enabling a backbreaker submission. Starshine is writhing in pain, with no way out of the hold. YJ starts to crank up the pressure, and yells to the ref, “Ask him!” Referee Lloyd McFloyd asks Starshine if he wants to give up, and is met with a resilient no. YJ applies more pressure, as Starshine frantically tries to break the hold. In desperation, he pokes YJ in the eye. YJ releases the hold and tends to his eye.
Referee Lloyd McFloyd confronts Starshine. He tells him he’s on thin ice, now holding two strikes. In the midst of this, Evil M storms the ring. Starshine sees this and keeps the ref distracted. Evil M grabs YJ and hit’s a Tombstone Piledriver. He scurries out of the ring, out of the ref’s sight. Starshine pushes the ref out of the way and pins the Yellow Jacket.
1, 2, 3!
Michael Muffer: “Here is your winner, Starshine!”
Starshine celebrates as the ref checks up on the Yellow Jacket. Evil M starts walking to the back, with a huge grin on his face.
Jesse King - And Evil M making sure Yellow Jacket knows that he’s still after him, Gorilla!
Tim Hoss - Evil M wants revenge, and he wants a match with Yellow Jacket, and he won’t stop until he get’s it.
Jesse King - We’ll be right back.
*Commercial Break:
KFC
Truth
Tropicana*
Jesse King: We're back from commercials, and it looks like we're going to get a live edition of The Boiler Room. I wonder why he's decided to do it now though. He does have his fingers in quite a few pies lately.
Gorilla: A mere week before he won that Hardcore Championship, he came very close to securing the Inter-Forum Championship from M.O.P.
Jesse King: What is the deal with Boiler Room Brawler that gets him entangled with the Equalizers?
Gorilla: I don't know, Jesse. First it was Aaron, then M.O.P. and now Michaels. He's run the gauntlet!
Boiler Room Brawler: Welcome fans to the Boiler Room!
You're all probably wondering why I am live tonight.
You know what I'm wondering right about now?
What is the deal with my getting entangled with the Equalizers?
I hold this Hardcore Championship over my shoulder with pride tonight, but if all of you paid any attention, you all would have noticed that I came this close to holding two belts over my shoulders tonight.
It did not come to pass because of that damn man in black!
*The Craptron first shows footage of the man in black laying out BRB at AVSWWCFC during the Inter-Forum Championship match.*
Boiler Room Brawler: Whoever you are, you costed me that match!
You seemed to either have some vendetta against me, or else you're scared of me and only wanted to face M.O.P. for the Inter-Forum Championship instead of me, BRB!
But then this happened.
*The Craptron shows footage of the man in black interfering with the Hardcore Championship.*
Boiler Room Brawler: You not only meddled in my affairs again, but it now seems that you have a vendetta set on making me just lose my matches!
Let’s get my first guest out tonight already!
*Bring Tha Noise*
*DR Jackson makes his way down to the ring being showered in boos, he plays them off as if they're cheers.*
Jesse King: Oh no, here comes this jerk!
Gorilla: Ah, DR Jackson, the Black Dynasty, I wonder what he has to say, let's find out.
*DR Jackson catches a mic as he walks into the ring. He and BRB exchange looks before he sits on a stool.*
DR Jackson: Sorry, do my ears deceive me? You honestly think that this man in black is out to ruin you? You blame your misfortune on him? Please BRB.
The only person you have to blame is yourself. You're a loser, you know what losers do? They lose. They lose to far superior competitors such as The Black Dynasty.
Without someone holding your hand, you never succeed. So Man in Black or not, you were destined to fail.
Boiler Room Brawler: I had M.O.P. laid out and you and everyone in this arena tonight saw it, Jackson!
That's closer than you or any one of his challengers has ever gotten!
Jesse King: Yeah! You tell 'im Brawler!
DR Jackson: I tore M.O.P. apart in our first match, and that was when I was still relatively new here, it was just a simple slip up that cost me the title. Now I've fought the best to once again earn my title match, and I don't think M.O.P. knows what he's in for.
He's made claims that he's in my head for handing me one of my very few losses in my career, and I admit I'm not happy about it. However I can guarantee that I will get my win back when we step into the ring next, along with the Inter-Forum Championship!
And do you know why, BRB? I've fought the best in this industry and beaten them to EARN my title shots, in the process I've become more experienced and truly honed my skills. I fight for what I want, I earn my way.
You've somehow managed to get handed everything despite being nothing more than a complete loser. It can be argued that you "earned" your title match against M.O.P., however I never saw you win an official number one contenders match, it looked like you picked up a very rare win and yelled "My turn" and Seth Drakin listened. Then since then you've had your ass kicked by me every step. You failed against M.O.P., then out of nowhere you're thrown into a Fatal Four-Way for the Hardcore Title? I won my match, I didn't get anything... What gives?
Boiler Room Brawler: You keep talking about my string of losing streaks but let me tell you something: I got a lot of wins, and I got almost no clean losses.
Name the last guy to pin me clean or make me submit!
Jesse King: I can't name him; can you Gorilla? The Boiler Room Brawler seems to have a point.
Gorilla: Honestly, besides last week, I think his last actual defeat was Aaron Enigma at Gookermania. That's a long time to go without a clean loss. Impressive.
DR Jackson: Here's a little dose of reality boy, you're career can simply be summed up as a Corporate Stooge, you were never even an official member, just The Sam's dopey bodyguard, who failed. And after Corporate broke up, it looked like the others tried to get on with their careers, but you had this idea that you were all still a happy family and you tried desperately to prove to everyone, especially yourself that. Which failed. Where are Corporate now?
All you do is fail, you never earn anything. Every time you're given the opportunity to prove yourself, you will fail. You will lose. You're a loser and a failure... My second match, I beat around 10 opponents...
Boiler Room Brawler: And who did you have to get through for that first championship loss? None other than me, BRB, at Night of the Wrestling Zombies!
DR Jackson: My point exactly, I've beaten you not once, but twice now. I've also earnt my title shots... not once, but twice now. M.O.P. got lucky the first time, but I do hold a victory over him already, and I'll make it two. Then you will see a new Inter-Forum Cham-
Boiler Room Brawler: I’m glad that you’re going there, Jackson.
Let’s have him come out now already!
*Days of the Phoenix*
Gorilla: Here's comes the Inter-Forum champion, M.O.P.
Jesse: I see, I guess he's going to give his opinion on the situation.
*M.O.P. starts slowly clapping as he heads to the ring and sits down on another stool, leaving a third stool unattended between himself and DR Jackson.*
M.O.P.: Well, well, well. Look who's the new champion on the block. First off, Brawler, let me just say "congratulations" on finally winning some gold in this company. Not that Jonathan's gonna let you have it for long, but that's why I'm not here. Brawler, Jackson, you two are both very worthy opponents. Surprisingly so, in fact. Brawler and I didn't even get a clean victory in our match, and I know he'd love to fix that. But Jackson has earned his shot. So get used to that Hardcore Title being the only gold around your waist for awhile, Brawler.
But there's more pressing matters at hand. You see, there's a bigger pain in my ass than either of you two combined. And that's the man in black. Not that he has nor ever will beat me for MY Inter-Forum Title, but he makes me look like a chump. Makes it look like I can't win matches on my own, and believe me I can. Of course, this guy doesn't seem to have any particular loyalties either.
Boiler Room Brawler: So what do you propose? An alliance?
M.O.P.: Something like that, yes. This guy is a mutual enemy, and the enemy of my enemy is my friend and all that. But more importantly, I'm also an Equalizer. And as an Equalizer, I can't let random men in black run wild causing chaos in the company.
And while this guy's messed with Brawler and me, don't think you're safe, Jackson. I think it'd benefit you to put aside our differences, for now, and agree to get rid of this schmuck first.
DR Jackson: Are you guys serious? You think that The Black Dynasty, a man who has made his career out of single handedly Bringing The Noise is scared enough of a stupid Man in Black that I'll actually team up with the two of you?
You guys are both pathetic. Neither Enemy Nor Friend...
M.O.P.: Well, fair enough I suppose. Of course, I did mention I'm an Equalizer. And being an Equalizer has... certain benefits. Access to special resources. Ones that can help us discover who are friend in black are. Such as... this!
Gorilla: I wonder what M.O.P. means, King.
*Make A Move*
*Aaron Enigma walks down the ramp to a huge ovation as he heads into the ring and sits between M.O.P. and DR Jackson.*
Jesse King: This is an interesting day for BRB.
M.O.P.: You see, I've asked my good friend Aaron Enigma to help us crack this case. After all, he is the WWCF's Head Detective. And I'm sure he can use his brilliant powers of deduction to find out the true identity of the man in black. If he could discover the very CEO of WWCF was planning on betraying the company to Disney, well, I'm sure figuring out some joker in a ski mask would be child's play in comparison.
Boiler Room Brawler: You?
I'd never-
Aaron: BRB I don't have time to listen to your whining. Obviously the man attacking the four of you has something against you all. Maybe he wants the title, maybe he wants revenge on one or all of you for some reason. Whatever it is, you are gonna need to work together if you want me to help you on this case. I need every resource available.
DR Jackson: Yeah BRB, turning never seems to end well for you. Always ends with you counting the lights...
Boiler Room Brawler: Once again with you Equalizers! Everywhere I turn you guys are there!
DR Jackson: Yeah BRB, turning never seems to end well for you. Always ends with you counting the lights...
Boiler Room Brawler: Enigma, I sure gave you a challenge to take away my mealticket, but in the end, you solved the case.
I'd imagine that if you can solve that, then you can solve any mystery.
And where is that man in black-
*The arena goes black.*
*Final Bowser theme from Mario 64*
Jesse King: Uh-oh! This can't be good! I think the man is black is making an appearance.
*The Craptron lights up and it shows the man in black.*
Oh aren't you all a bunch of beautiful hens clucking away?
It only takes one quick action and suddenly your all spilling your drinks and peering over your shoulder.
*The Man in black grabs the top of his mask*
You see this?
A Piece of fabric, and yet your all flustered over this insignificant dish cloth.
*The masked man looks as if he's going to lift of the mask and reveals part of his neck before letting go*
Simple as can be, yet you idiots can't figure it out so you hire your own little Private Dick to figure it out.
DR Jackson: You think so? Last week I had you down on your knees to me. You're all talk and cheap tactics. How about you actually come down here?
Oh blow it out your ass I've dealt with better than you in worse conditions buying beer from the convenience store but rest assured you'll get yours when I want to and not a second sooner
Jesse King: I hope those two collide and implode their way out of this company!
I heard that you overpaid seatfilling s***
Jesse King: Ah!
DR Jackson: King, please... just sit down while the men talk here. I'll send someone to tuck you in soon, okay sweety?
Aaron: Listen oh mysterious man. I don't care if you threaten me, it doesn't change anything. You are a mystery, I am a detective, it is just a matter of time until I uncover you for the slimy rat you are. Be forewarned, I'm the Head Detective, and I don't fail to solve any case.
Boiler Room Brawler: And when he finds out who you are, I'm going to take my big, massive-
Oh let me stop you right there.
You mean this rusty old piece of scrap?
*The Man in Black reaches into his pocket and pulls out a handkerchief he then pulls it off and shows the Boiler Room Brawler's Pipewrench*
You know, this rusty piece of scrap and you have a lot in common.
They both have no place in this company!
They’re both duller than dishwater,
And you both should've been thrown out long ago!
But soon?
*The Man in Black drops the pipe wrench to the floor and sets one foot on it*
You'll be here
Right where you belong.
*The Man in Black then cackles and disappears in a burst of purple smoke.*
Aaron: I'm going to get started on this guys. If you learn ANYTHING, come tell me right away.
*Aaron leaves the ring to a cheer*
Gorilla: Well this certainly got a lot more interesting hasn't it, Jesse?
Jesse King: Aaron Enigma couldn't solve that mystery any sooner. Can we move on now though?
Gorilla: Why certainly, King, I'm sure that the fans would love to return to some wrestling tonight! But first a word from our sponsors.
*Commercial Break:
Head-On
Sears
Bing*
Tim Hoss - Up next folks, we have our fourth round 2 match.
Jesse King - It’s a match we’ve seen before, but it never get’s old, Evil M V. Little Naitch!
King of WrestleCrap Second Round Match: Evil M V. Little Naitch
*Organs blare, and the opening riff to Thunderstruck starts. Pyro blasts, and we see Evil M standing at the top of the ramp. He walks slowly down to the ring, enters over the top rope, and stands directly in the center of the ring with an angry look on his face.*
*The New Blackjacks Theme hits, and both Tyfo and Littlenaitch walk out to the top of the ramp, but Littlenaitch has a microphone.*
Littlenaitch: Hey Tyfo, I appreciate you having my back, but tonight I'm going to have a go at it alone. I respect Evil M as a competitor and I want to make my way through this tournament fair and square, like you did last year.
*Tyfo Looks at Littlenaitch as if to say, "you sure?" and then nods and walks to the back. Littlenaitch makes his way to the ring, enters through the second rope, and jumps around to warm up.*
Will Alphonso checks both men for weapons and then calls for the bell.
Littlenaitch charges Evil M and runs into a big boot. Evil M picks up Littlenaitch and chokeslams him. Evil M goes for a cover.
1..
2..
Littlenaitch kicks out and rolls to the outside. The ref starts the count.
1!
2!
Littlenaitch is still catching his breath, and Evil M leans over the rope and starts taunting him.
3!
4!
5!
Littlenaitch slides back into the ring and is met with a couple of stomps by Evil M. Evil M picks up Littlenaitch and irish whips him, but Littlenaitch uses the speed to his advantage and hits Evil M with a cross body. Littlenaitch hits Evil M with a couple of knee drops and an elbow drop. He sets Evil M for the figure four and locks it in.
Evil M is writing in pain but quickly realizes he's the stronger man, and he's not far from the ropes, so he quickly reaches the ropes for a rope break. Evil M looks at Littlenaitch with an angry look, and it's met with a drop kick. Littlenaitch, riding a wave of momentup, picks up Evil M, whips him into the ropes and hits him with a clothesline. He again picks up Evil M, turns him around, and goes for a belly to back, but Evil M blocks it and hits him with a reverse DDT.
Evil M sets Littlenaitch up for a Tombstone, but YellowJacket comes from out of the crowd, slides into the ring, and hits Evil M with The Sting! Yellowjacket slides out of the ring and exits through the crowd, and the ref completely missed it!
Littlenaich rolls over Evil M and covers him.
1..
2..
3!
Michael Muffer - Your winner, advancing to the 3rd round, Littlenaitch!
Jesse King - Yellow Jacket getting some payback against Evil M!
Tim Hoss - These guys hate each other Jess, and now that they’re both out of the tournament, nothing is keeping them from getting at one another!
Jesse King - Fans, we’ll be right back!
*Commercial Break:
Comcast
Twix bars
Network spot*
Jesse King - And now we have another quarterfinal match.
Tim Hoss: It’s Viva Los Bio Dome taking on Sparks. To the ring!
King of WrestleCrap Second Round Match: Viva Los Bio Dome V. Sparks
*Pull me under hits, and Sparks hits the ramp to a pretty nice pop, the crowd is behind him and he's all smiles. He walks to the ring high fiving the kids along the ramp and flips over the top rope into the ring. He poses in the middle of the ring and starts jumping around to warm up.*
*Paparazzi hits, and the crowd immediately boos loudly. The red carpet is rolled out, and The Paparazzi begin crowding around it. Viva Los Bio Dome walks out and stops at the top of the ramp and poses for the Paparazzi before walking down the ramp. He sees a kid with a picture of him and a marker, asking for a signature. Viva grabs the pen, grabs the picture, laughs, and throws them both on the ground before walking up the steel steps, entering the ring, and laughing in Sparks face.*
Lloyd McFloyd checks both men for weapons and then calls for the bell.
Both men lock up, and Sparks wins and hits a snap suplex. Sparks takes advantage of the downed Viva by springing him into the turnbuckle. Sparks hits a disoriented Viva with a back suplex and covers him.
1!
2!
Viva kicks out at the brink of three and Sparks lifts him up only to be met with an eye rake. Viva follows that up with an irish uppercut into the turnbuckle. While Sparks is stuck in the turnbuckle, Viva hits him with a running knee. Sparks walks right into a snap DDT, and Viva goes for a pin.
1..
2!
Sparks kicks out, and you can see the irritation on Viva's face. Viva picks Sparks up, and whips him into the ropes. Viva, timing sparks coming off the ropes, goes for a Purple Sticky Punch but Sparks ducks and clotheslines him from behind. Sparks motions for his finisher and sets Viva up for the Spark-te-plex. Spark hangs him midair for a second to long though, as Viva reverses it and lifts him up for the Bio-DOME! Viva connects and goes for the pin.
1!
2!
3!
Michael Muffer: Your winner, advancing to the third round of the King of Wrestlecrap tournament, "Hollywood" Viva Los Bio Dome!
Jesse King - Like him or hate him, you can’t argue that Viva has gotten results.
Tim Hoss - Maybe dumping Stryker wasn’t such a bad thing after all.
Jesse King - Well, I don’t know about that. Viva’s actions last week on Heatz!!1 were sickening.
Tim Hoss - But like you said, he’s getting results.
Jesse King - That may be, but right now, we need to take a short break. We’ll be right back!
*Commercial Break:
Quiznos
Nintendo Wii
Legion trailer*
Tim Hoss - Well fans, now it’s time to check in and see how D-Day Dave’s manager search has been going.
We go back to The Heavy Metal Express locker room and D-Day Dave is ready for another applicant. One of the groupies open up the door and in walks in former WWCF wrestler.......... Disco Stu
D-Day Dave - Disco Stu? Where have you been for the last year?
Disco Stu- Rehab.
D-Day Dave - Oh. Well what makes you think you have what it takes to be the manager of The Heavy Metal Express?
Disco Stu - Okay Dave get this. As manager of The Heavy Metal Express I want to change everything. No more heavy metal. You see 2010 is the start of a new decade and in this decade I finally feel it.
D-Day Dave- Feel what?
Disco Stu - Disco is finally coming back baby!!! If you make me your manager you guys will be called The Disco Express. You will both come out to Stayin Alive by The Bee Gees and you guys will boogie all the way down to that ring with me boogeying right behind you. So what do you think my man?
D-Day Dave - I think you need to go back to rehab because you are smokin something if you think we are crazy enough to do that. Security!!!
Security comes in and drags off Disco Stu as he tries to resist them by dancing without much luck.
Jesse King- Well it looks like The Heavy Metal Express aren't having too much luck finding a manager huh?
Tim Hoss - It sure doesn't Jesse.
Credits: Amigo, The Sam, Aaron Enigma, D-Day Dave, YellowJacket, BRB, “Damn Right” Jackson, M.O.P., Viva Los Bio Dome, and Jazzman
