Sunday Night Heatz!!1 - January 31, 2010
2/5/10
Sean Kelly - Welcome to WWCF Sunday Night Heatz!!1
Michael Gettenpill - We have a big show for you tonight! I’m Michael Gettenpill.
Sean Kelly - And I’m Sean Kelly. Tonight on Heatz!!1, the number ten spot in the WWCF Rankings will be decided, as the “undefeated“ Inspector Shetty battles Cage King!
Michael Gettenpill - In his television debut, Masked Hero X battles Sunday Night Heatz!!1 mainstay KCB!
Sean Kelly - One half of the Nightflys, Double H, battles one of the men he beat at King of WrestleCrap, Xavian Gunn.
Michael Gettenpill - And in our main event, it’s a number one contenders tag team event, as The Heavy Metal Express battles Voodoo Champagne!
WWCF Rankings match: Inspector Shetty V. Cage King
Michael Muffer - The following contest is scheduled for one fall.
*Wannabe in LA*
Michael Muffer - Introducing first, from Bombay, England, weighing in at 265 pounds, Inspector Shetty!
Shetty walks to the ring, taunting the audience. When he approaches the ring, he throws himself against the ropes, then enters the ring. As the fans boo, Shetty pulls out a remote and pushes a button, cueing up canned cheers.
Cage King walks out, rapping his entrance.
Michael Muffer - And his opponent, from Los Angeles, California, weighing in at 295 pounds, Cage King!
Shetty and King lock up. King powers Shetty to the mat, but Shetty back to his feet. Another lockup, Cage King whips Shetty into the ropes, Shetty bounces back, flying tackle! Cover!
1!
Kickout!
Shetty pulls Cage King up, but King hit’s a jawbreaker! Shetty staggers back, as Cage King hit’s a superkick! Cover!
1!
Kickout!
King pulls Shetty up and shoots him into the corner, running splash… NO! Shetty moves! Rollup!
1!
2!
Kickout!
Both men back up, Shetty throws a punch but Cage King blocks it! He goes for a suplex, but Shetty shifts his weight! Cover!
1!
2!
Cage King manages to roll over on top of Shetty!
1!
2!
Kickout!
Shetty cradles Cage King!
1!
2!
King reverses it!
1!
2!
Shetty reverses it!
1!
2!
Shetty puts his feet on the ropes!
3!
Michael Muffer - Here is your winner, Inspector Shetty!
Shetty celebrates as the crowd showers him with boos. Shetty pushes the button on his remote again, cueing up the canned cheers once more.
Sean Kelly - And Inspector Shetty takes his place as the number 10 ranked man in the Inter-Forum Championship Rankings!
Michael Gettenpill - Though the win was not without a fair amount of cheating. We’ll be right back.
*Commercial Break:
Papa Johns
Sears
GEICO*
Sean Kelly - And we’re back!
Michael Gettenpill - Up next, the television debut of Masked Hero X!
Masked Hero X V. KCB
Michael Muffer – The following contest is scheduled for one fall.
*My Way*
Michael Muffer – Introducing first, from Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at 235 pounds, KCB!
KCB walks out, arguing with the fans as he makes his way to the ring.
Michael Muffer – And his opponent…
Lots of pyro goes off, as Hero X appears on stage. He runs to the ring and rolls in. As he poses, more pyro goes off, coming from the turnbuckles.
Michael Muffer – Ladies and gentlemen, standing a virtuous 5’8, and weighing in at a heroic 201 pounds, Masked Hero X!
As Hero X poses for the crowd, KCB jumps him from behind!
The bell rings.
KCB hammers X across the back, then shoots him into the ropes. As he bounces back, KCB back body drop’s him! Cover!
1!
Kickout!
KCB pulls X up, suplex! Cover!
1!
Kickout!
X tries to get up, but KCB shuts him down with a kick to the ribs! He then picks X up and throws him into the corner! He hammers him with some punches, then rams his head into the turnbuckle.
NO EFFECT!
He tries it again.
NO EFFECT!
One more time he tries, but X blocks it with his foot, them slam’s KCB’s head into the turnbuckle! KCB bounces to the mat! He get’s up, but walks into a punch from the masked superhero! He goes down again! Once more he’s up, but Hero X slams him back to the mat! KCB grabs his back in pain as he get’s to his feet, only to be met with the Blazing Lariat! Cover!
1!
2!
3!
Michael Muffer – The winner of the match, Masked Hero X!
Sean Kelly - And Masked Hero X get’s the duke! He’s bringing justice back to the WWCF, one win at a time!
Michael Gettenpill - Right now, we want to take a look at the newest face making his way to the WWCF.
We cut to a dark and dingy hallway. The camera moves along the hallway until we see a door of a basement. We walk down the stair way and we see a dimly lit basement. There we see a large man sitting in the corner. He has a beard and longish hair that gets in his eyes. He is looking down, playing with clumps of dust.
You know...this piece of dust is very interesting. It's soft, squishy and it can be fun to just throw in the air
(he smiles and laughs like a child and throws it in the air and
let's the clump of dust land in his hands.)
But the thing about dust is that... (He rips the piece of dust apart) they are so easy to destroy. AND THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO TO ALL OF YOU WWCF SUPERSTARS!!! You see, pretty soon.... SMOKINVOKOUN.......is coming to the WWCF. And I will rip each and every one of you apart... as if your just a piece of dust.
(Let's out a small shriek)
Now... all of you may be wondering... who is this weirdo playing with dust? Well, boys and girls. let old Uncle Smokey tell you a tale. A tale about a young boy growing up in the streets of Chicago. And let me tell you something... it isn't what I would call a paradise. In fact, how many of you WWCF superstars actually knows what it's like to fight for your life every single day on dirty... dangerous and vile streets.
(He pauses)
That's right... none of you. None you have had to deal with a father who used to beat me with every inch of my life and tell me that I'm no good!! That I'm a loser!! THAT I WAS A MISTAKE!!!! NONE of you have had a drunk mother who would rather go look for her gin and tonic than look after her only son!! And none of you, have had to go through the torture that was my school. Everyone laughed at me... everyone teased me, THEY ALL TORMENTED ME!!! NONE OF YOU, have had to tell with the humiliation that was me getting beaten to death by Joe Cohodes back in the 7th grade. I felt at that moment like my life was over...and for my old self... IT WAS OVER!!! THE LITTLE BOY KNOWN AS ALEX VOKOUN...DIED ON THAT DAY!!!!
(He holds his head in between his legs and lets out a little cry. He then stops and looks up slowly at the camera)
But, now.... I have to thank Joe. It's because of him I realized my destiny. I realized my one true goal. And that is to be a professional wrestler. Then I can apply MY KIND OF PUNISHMENT!!!!! MY KIND OF PAIN!!!! MY KIND.....of fear.
(Starts up a giggle)
The only place that would have such a ragged... beaten up... (laughs at the thought)... old basket case was the WWCF....bad mistake for letting me in. Because now, you've let in a beast.. a monster... someone who has no friends and more importantly... spmeone who doesn't care about anything.
(He looks down again)
So let this message be a warning to everyone in the WWCF that SmokinVokoun is coming!!! And that your career's are about to end!!!!
(He slowly raises his head and looks at the camera with the eyes of a serial killer.)
And let it be known that... Smokin Vokoun....isn't jokin.
(He glares at the camera and a sick..sly..grin goes across his face)
Fade to black
Sean Kelly - And we are told that next week here on Heatz!!1, Smokin’ Vokoun will make his in-ring debut. We’ll be right back.
*Commercial Break:
Bing
Quiznos
Nintendo DS*
Sean Kelly - And we’re back once more.
Double H V. Xavian Gunn
Michael Muffer - The following contest is set for one fall.
*Blitzkrieg*
The arena goes dark as strobe lights begin wildly flashing. Smoke arises from the stage, as it clears, Xavian Gunn appears. For the fans at home, the scene is distorted, as the screen glitches and shakes.
Michael Muffer - Introducing first, from Seattle, Washington, weighing in at 245 pounds, Xavian Gunn!
Double H’s theme plays as he runs down the ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way.
Michael Muffer - His opponent, from Sao Paulo, Brazil, weighing in at 205 pounds, Double H!
H dives into the ring and he and Xavian immediately tie up. Xavian with a side headlock, H reverses it, hammerlock, he forces Xavian down to the mat, Xavian breaks free, backs H into the corner, the ref forces a break. Back to the center of the ring, another lockup, H goes for a headlock takedown, but Xavian shifts his weight to block it and back drop’s H! Cover.
1
Kickout.
Xavian pulls H off the mat, snap suplex! He starts working over the legs, then applies the Boston Crab! H struggles, but makes it to the ropes, forcing a break. Gunn stomps H, then hit’s the ropes before dropping a big elbow across his back! Cover!
1!
Kickout!
Gunn pulls H up, only to drop him again with a swinging neckbreaker! He then pulls him over and begins choking him in the ropes! The ref calls for a break!
“1!
2!
3!
4!”
Xavian breaks, pulls H up, and hit’s an STO! Cover!
1!
2!
Kickout!
Gunn pulls H up again and plants him on the top turnbuckle! He climbs up for a superplex, but H shifts his weight in midair! Cover!
1!
2!
Kickout!
Both men up, H fires off some punches, then a dropkick! As Gunn is staggered, H hit’s a spinning elbow! Gunn falls back towards the ropes, as H grabs him and shoots him off, Gunn reverses it, H bounces back, ducks under a clothesline attempt, but is met with poison mist! As H clutches at his eyes, Gunn hit’s the Juke Joint Jezebel! Cover!
1!
2!
3!
Michael Muffer - Here is your winner, Xavian Gunn!
Sean Kelly - Gunn racks up his first win in the WWCF!
Michael Gettenpill - Though I have to question the legality of that mist.
Sean Kelly - Our main event is next. We’ll be right back.
*Commercial Break:
Best Buy
Long John Silvers
King of WrestleCrap replay*
Main Event: Number One Contenders match: The Heavy Metal Express V. Voodoo Champagne
Michael Muffer - The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. The winners of this match will become #1 contenders to the WWCF Tag Team Titles!
(Down On Me)
Michael Muffer - Introducing first, at a combined weight of 505 pounds - "The Voodoo Lawyer" TTS and "Champagne" Jay Carroll...VOODOO CHAMPAGNE!
- TTS does his chicken sacrifice at the bottom of the ramp, as Carroll poses in the ring with his champagne bottle in hand.
(We're Not Gonna Take It)
Michael Muffer - And their opponents, at a combined weight of 498 pounds - The Headbanger Man and D-Day Dave...THE HEAVY METAL EXPRESS!
- The HME hand out demo CDs, drum sticks and guitar picks to members of the crowd, before playing their air instruments in the ring.
Sean Kelly: Ladies and gentlemen, its time for the main event of Heatz!, and a very important match for both of these tag teams, Michael.
Michael Gettenpill: Absolutely Sean, the winners will get a title shot at the Southwest Connection next week, and both of these teams are aiming to establish themselves in the tag team division.
- TTS insists that he wants to lock up with Dave, and the former CEO obliges. TTS forces Dave into the corner, and nails him with a right hand. Dave shakes it off, and they tie up again. TTS backs Dave up again, but this time his punch is ducked, and Dave hits him with one of his own.
- This angers TTS, who walks towards his adversary with a purpose. Dave catches him in a side headlock, but is pushed off the ropes and knocked down with a shoulderblock. Dave leapfrogs the Voodoo Lawyer, and manages to take him down with a drop toe hold, before reapplying the headlock on the mat. However, the bigger TTS gets to his feet, and counters into a back suplex.
Sean Kelly: TTS proving that he has the power advantage in the early going.
Michael Gettenpill: Absolutely Sean, he's a shade under 300 pounds. The Heavy Metal Express will need to use quickness strategically in this one.
- TTS tags out to Jay Carroll, who leaps into the ring over the top rope, and stomps away on Dave. He picks him up and lands a couple of loud knife-edge chops, before executing a snap suplex. He goes for an elbow drop, but Dave rolls away. Jay quickly goes for another one, but again he misses his target.
- Dave tags in the Headbanger Man, who nails Jay with a forearm from the apron, and then comes in with a springboard dropkick! He makes the cover.
1...
2...
- Jay kicks out. Headbanger knocks him down with a couple of clotheslines, followed by a back body drop. He signals for the Holy Driver, but Jay escapes the danger. He then hits Headbanger with a stungun across the top rope, followed by a standing enziguri. Jay goes for a pinfall of his own.
1...
2...
- Kick out.
Sean Kelly: Both teams exchanging pinfall attempts here, Michael.
Michael Gettenpill: Well, they know each other pretty well by now, Sean. They would want to try and put their opponent away as quickly as possible - there's a lot at stake here, y'know?
Sean Kelly: Indeed. Speaking of steaks, did you finish the rest of my porterhouse while I was in the john earlier?
Michael Gettenpill: No comment.
- Jay holds Headbanger in a leglock, and makes the tag to TTS, who comes in with a knee drop right to the head. TTS then takes the English rocker down with a discus clothesline. He makes another quick tag to Carroll, who scores with the lionsault.
1...
2...
- Headbanger kicks out again. Carroll hits a couple of running legdrops, and then applies a camel clutch. The crowd tries to rile up Headbanger as Carroll locks in the submission move. Eventually, he does get to his feet and backs Carroll into the turnbuckles. He hits a right hand and then charges at Jay, who avoids the contact. He then impressively manages to take him down with a German suplex, before bringing TTS back into the fray. TTS takes over where Carroll left off, and once again locks in the camel clutch.
Sean Kelly: Smart strategy here by Voodoo Champagne.
Michael Gettenpill: Indeed so, going back to what bought 'em to the dance.
Sean Kelly: What does that even mean?
Michael Gettenpill: Damned if I know, I just enjoy trite cliches.
- TTS lays into Headbanger with crossfaces as he has the move applied. Carroll goads the Heavy Metal Express, while Dave stamps on the apron to try and get Headbanger Man to his feet. He does so, and then falls backwards into something of an electric chair drop. Dave wills Headbanger to make the tag, as TTS tries to shake off the impact of the move. The Voodoo Lawyer makes the tag to Carroll, but he cannot prevent Headbanger from bringing D-Day Dave into the match.
- Dave comes in with a flurry of offense, hitting a dropkick and a scoop slam on Carroll, before knocking TTS off the apron. Dave hits a spinning back punch, followed by a full nelson slam!
1...
2...
- Jay kicks out again!
Sean Kelly: The rested D-Day Dave comes in like a house on fire, but still can't put "Champagne" away!
- Dave goes for a vertical suplex, but Carroll wriggles out of the predicament. He lands a kick to the guy, and goes for Last Call, but Dave counters by charging Jay into the corner. Dave then manages to a huge scissors kick!
1...
2...
- TTS breaks up the pin! He clubs Dave with an axehandle, before hitting the leg lariat. However Headbanger catches him with the Blockbuster off the top rope, before taking both himself and TTS to the outside!
- Carroll rolls to the outside and grabs a chair, as the referee tries to break up the ensuing brawl between Headbanger and TTS.
Sean Kelly: Uh-oh, it seems as if Jay has some bad intentions here!
Michael Gettenpill: Either that, or he's just wants to sit down and reflect on things.
- Jay slides back into the ring and tries to hit Dave with the chair, but he ducks, before dropkicking Jay in the back, the force of which makes him drop the weapon. Headbanger clothesline TTS over the barricade, as the referee gives up and gets back into the ring. Dave kicks the chair out of the ring, and then nails Carroll with The Encore!
1...
2...
3!
Michael Muffer - Here are your winners, and #1 contenders to the WWCF Tag Team Titles...THE HEAVY METAL EXPRESS!
- Headbanger joins Dave in the ring, and the two men celebrate by air drumming atop the turnbuckles.
Sean Kelly: A big, big win here tonight for The Heavy Metal Express!
Michael Gettenpill: Absolutely Sean. They get another opportunity to face Little Naitch and Tyfo, this time with the coveted tag team gold on the line!
Sean Kelly: I'm sure that Voodoo Champagne will bounce back, and will challenge the winners of that match. Anyway, that's it for this week's edition of Sunday Night Heatz! Goodnight folks!
Writing Credits: Just M, Smokin’ Vokoun, and Headbanger Man
